The Jonas Brothers in Topman

Posted on August 22, 2012

 

The Jonas brothers makes an appearance on the Today Show in NYC in head-to-toe Topman.

We’ll start off by apologizing to the fangurls, because we can’t look at these three without thinking how incredibly dorky they look. And we resolutely refuse to learn which one is which. Memorizing Jonas brothers or Olsen twins are jobs for entertainment journalists and magazine editors. We can’t be bothered.

But critiquing their outfits? We’re all over that.

Of the three of them, Fuzzy Jonas looks the best. It takes a special man to make orange pleated pants work and bless his heart, he’s pulling it off. Love that shirt.

 

High-hair Jonas looks the worst. Not because we don’t like these pieces, but because we don’t think they’re working for him. Those are Very Special Pants and you really need to have Doctorate-level pants-wearing skills to pull them off. We like the shirt, but the buttoned-up look makes him look prissy when paired with those pants.

 

Eyebrows Jonas also gets our respect for walking the streets in a butterfly shirt. That takes some balls. He’s the only one who wore fairly basic pants, but can you blame him? You can’t pair clown pants with a butterfly shirt and expect to be taken seriously.

 

All teasing aside, we like all these pieces but we don’t think all of them suit the wearer. And then there’s the fact that they’re dressed pretty much identically, wearing pieces all from the same designer: brown loafers, beltless pants, button-down shirts and one wild print a piece. From a style perspective, that’s kind of lame. Show some individuality, boys. Even those Olsen twins manage to dress differently. We always urge celebrities to find themselves good stylists, but the trick to celebrity style is to not look like someone picked out all your clothes for you.

 

[Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews,  topman.com]

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3KCDEX4FOTCFHZP6WLKSOOKUVM Danielle

      With these outfits, call them Bobby, Greg and Peter.

      • formerlyAnon

         I salute you!

      • Anathema_Device

         Hilarious.

        And perhaps one of them left his copy of “Red Badge of Courage” in the limo.

      • TheOriginalLulu

        “Mom always says, don’t play ball in the house!”

      • Le_Sigh

         YES!  THIS!  (Thank you for my second TLo sponsored spit take giggle of the day)

      • maggiemaybe

        Brilliant.

      • Lisa

        You absolutely deserve to be showered with presents and cookies for that one! 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1594250515 Kim Brightman

      Three wild and crazy guys!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Clydette-Wantland/673315286 Clydette Wantland

      If you’re going to tuck in your shirts, put on a belt.  That’s what the loops are for. 

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/FEP56YB4DUIXBWSLIMSSSGQHWY jimmack

        Thank you. This is another golden rule that seems to ignored by the flip flop wearing masses.

      • chelwi

         Yes! The lack of belts is ruining these looks for me.

    • HM3

      I have a Masters in Pants-Wearing, with a minor in pencil skirts.

      • mshesterp

        HM3, I LOVE your image/icon/sassy photo!

        • HM3

          Thank you! It’s my favorite character, Jane, from an (almost-)old MTV show called “Daria.”

    • Anathema_Device

      Wait, does Fuzzy Jonas have the tag still on the back pocket of his orange pants? Sure looks like it.

      I think the fit is off on most of these outfits. They need to go up a size, except for Orange Fuzzy Jonas (sounds like a cocktail).

      • http://twitter.com/emilyf007 emily

         why yes, yes i do believe he does.

      • Judy_J

        I believe you’re right!  It does look like the price tag or size tag is still on the back pocket.  Fresh off the rack!

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

        Omigod, that is hysterical about the tag. Seriously, none of their people noticed that? Or is it like when you realize that your friend is wearing her top inside out, but you decide not to tell her because she’s not in a place where she can change, and it will only make her self-conscious?

        Eyebrows Jonas needs to find himself a good threading technician. Those things are gonna be scary when he’s 60.

      • j_anson

        I THINK that’s the clip from something that has a clip on it, like a cell phone or what have you.

      • kciamelia

         His back pocket is bulging a bit, it looks like a wallet/phone clip to me.

      • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

         Its probably a pump clip. See my comment down there a bit.

        • Anathema_Device

           That makes sense.

      • MilaXX

        Is that the one with diabetes? They may be his med pump

    • AnaRoW

       Joe Jonas (eyebrows) is the only one I know because he’s apparently dated every female celebrity under the age of 25. And Aly Raisman wants to be next. 

      I do like the clothes but not on them.  Except for Fuzzy’s pants, nothing fits right.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

        Which is funny b/c to me he’s the least cute of all of them. If I had to choose it would be Fuzzy. High-hair looks a bit too jar-head for my taste, and those eyebrows would be a dealbreaker for me. (Of course this is all hypothetical. I’m almost old enough to be their mother, if I’d had a kid in high school.)

        • mshesterp

          And fuzzy (I know it’s Nick, but I prefer fuzzy) seems to have the best sense of style/panache/look out of the three of them.  High hair just looks…Disney.

    • mjude

      fuzzy, high-hair & eyebrows jonas. LMFAO!!!!!!

      • Judy_J

        Me, too!

      • Spicytomato1

        I know, funniest thing I’ve read all day!

    • SewingSiren

      I like the butterfly shirt. The trousers on all of them look a little small, the pockets look to be pulling open.

      • margaret meyers

        And when wearing pants that tight you really MUST have empty pockets.  They all look lumpy and bulgy, and not in a good way.

    • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

      I can’t remember Fuzzy Jonas’s real name, but I have a soft spot for him as he has type 1 diabetes, as does my daughter, and he’s pretty active in fundraising and speaking about it.  I think that clip in his back pocket may be his pump clip – I thought I spied a little bit of tubing poking out there in the top shot.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

        Oh, if that is the case I am much more sympathetic. I didn’t realize.

      • kcliff

        Fuzz Jonas is Nick! I am sad I know this.

    • Judy_J

      Eyebrows Jonas looks like a modern day Bilbo Baggins.

      • HM3

        The fit of his pants also seems…off. Maybe it’s the photo, but it looks like they’re pulling outwards and upwards at his hips.

        • RebeccaKW

           I thought the same thing.  Maybe where they are hitting him?  Plus, I think he needs a belt.  The waist of those seems to be sagging down below the belly button causing him to look like he has a beer belly.  Which is fine, but if you don’t have one, you don’t want to look like you do and if you do have one, you don’t want to emphasize it.

    • j_anson

      Yech. 12-year-olds dressed as hipsters going to a 1970s-themed party. :

    • joe_tey83

       It still puzzles me how such ordinary looking guys with such mediocre abilities get kinda popular (for a while).

    • http://profiles.google.com/denise.alden Denise Alden

      They’re not aging well, are they?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=677547537 John Hodgins

      Okay, okay, I have no idea what their music sounds like, or even really who they are but… being a 51-year-old gay man, I find them hot!  There, I said it.  **head hanging in shame**

      • DeborahJozayt

        No need to hang your head in shame! Men your age loved Britney Spears when she was a youngin’, too! They’re mid 20s except Fuzzy. I think he’s still 19. 

      • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

        Fuzzy Jonas is particularly cute (though perhaps not with that hairdo). I believe he is the one who lives in Chelsea, so you do the math.

        • formerlyAnon

          Is it too stereotypical to posit that this, perhaps, correlates with the impression that his clothes fit better than those of his brothers? 

        • jblaked

          It’s the high hair Jonas (the only one who is married) that really makes my gaydar ping.  Apparently, the family is ultra-religious and perhaps HH is trying his best to pray the gay away.

    • Michael_Jones

      Am I just becoming old?  I like these clothes, but I would NEVER go out of the house in pants like this without putting on a belt!  It looks (and would feel) incomplete to me.

    • PinkLemon

      I want that butterfly blouse for m’self!! yes, blouse.

    • NilBlur

      I’m giving it to Fuzzy for recognizing (or being handed) the best shoes. 

    • http://www.katidom.com/ Kati B

      Are belts no longer required with pants? I’m honestly asking. To me, the horrifying prints notwithstanding, they all look kind of undone w/o belts. But then, maybe my age is showing. 

    • Joyce VG

      They look ridiculous. 

    • hughman

      “Top man”. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OMG, I CAN’T BREATH! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

      • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

        Right?  For these boys, that label is definitely being worn ironically.

    • MilaXX

      I’m sorry I’m never gonna cosign the wearing of pleated pants. They make everyone look like they stuffed their pants with socks.

    • TheOriginalLulu

      I don’t know…I’m not conviced that Eyebrows is pulling off that butterfly shirt. Hell, if HE looks uncertain about it, don’t expect me to be convinced.
      I like High Hair’s shoes, but that’s about it.
      Agreed that Fuzzy looks the best here.

      Eyebrows kind of looks like a Menudo, doesn’t he? 

    • amber_julene

      Agreed on all counts.  For the record, I just can’t retain their names, but I remember them as 1) Diabetic Jonas, 2) Married Jonas, and 3) Hot Jonas*.

      *Note: the latter of these is not my assessment, but rather that of tween girls the country over.  Inexplicably.

    • Wendi126

      That butterfly shirt needs to be set free

    • Tina Featheringham

       Fuzzy = Nick, who killed it as the replacement of Daniel Radcliffe in How To Succeed.  I saw both versions.

      • mshesterp

        Exactly.  I think of him as the most talented of the bunch, but I seriously don’t know why I care.  

      • Violina23

        I’m pretty sure he was also the one who sung Marius in the Les Miz 25th Anniversary concert. I thought he did well there, but most of my family thought he was pretty awful.  

        On a side note, my friend & I have actually had debates over who is the bigger pussy: Marius or Raoul from Phantom (We both agreed it’s Raoul. At least Marius went to war…)

    • http://twitter.com/SparklyCasanova UglyCasanova

      Purity rings still intact?  Good grief.

      • MilaXX

         I think not. One of them is married.

    • Rand Ortega

      They remind me of Stuart Little for some reason.

    • Thathoodwink

      Yeeshy bubbz.

    • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

      they all picked the same GrrAnimal.

      • jblaked

        OMG!  I loved Garanimals! 

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_RHLSUVX3NCPB4OSS5BM7GZIXUE P. Capet

      omg fun clothes!  i need the paperdoll versions of this!

      i only know nick jonas from killing on broadway.  he’s been doing broadway since he was a kid.  you guys should hear his, I Believe in You, from How to Succeed…it’s really beautiful.

    • turtleemily

      Eyebrows Jonas looks like everything’s too small, and High Hair Jonas needs McKayla Marone Photoshopped next to him.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      High hair also looks like he’s choking with that button on his neck.  I do not sign off on any of these. Boys or clothes. 

    • amian3

      Fuzzy wool trousers (see what I did there?) in August in the Northern Hemisphere is both uncomfortable looking and seriously not stylish. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=639062430 Sara Padilla

      bad shoes, pants make their legs look super short.

    • margaret meyers

      Those pants are killing Eyebrow Jonas:  he looks pot-bellied, wide hipped and stumpy legged.

    • Funkykatt

      Hahahaahaha…oh that was great. Thanks guys. 

    • snarkalicious

      “Eyebrows Jonas.”  I die.

    • http://twitter.com/astrosexy єℓιzαвєтн。

      What is going on with Butterfly Jonas’ crotch?

    • KSuKim

      They are both trying too hard, and not nearly hard enough.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/FUKKIIH5ZIACY4IOLLXOX6PR6U T

      “Eyebrows Jonas”? It’s been five minutes since I read that and my eyes are still all watered up. Thanks for the LOL of the Day!
      He looks like he has a beer bump. Even I can’t wear a butterfly shirt, and I have little taste and no shame.

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      Fuzzy Jonas looks like such a douche in the first picture. High-hair looks a little like a stereotypical “guido.” Eyebrows just looks… awkward. 

      • Lisa

        Isn’t High Hair Jonas the one who got his own reality show just because he got married – because, like, no one ever did that?  It’s miraculous somehow.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1344922354 Eric Scheirer Stott

      How did Rowan Atkinson get there?

    • ThaliaMenninger

      Fuzzy is the one who was in How to Succeed on Broadway. I was watching the twitter feed from the Tony Awards red carpet, and Fuzzy fans were all over it. They didn’t care anything about the Tonys or the real Broadway stars. This annoyed and upset me and now I hate Fuzzy and his Bros. However many dollars the likes of a Jo Bro brings to Broadway, I want them to STAY AWAY.

    • l_c_ann

      They make me glad the Beetles came around in time for my generation.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1013443339 Hannah Prutton

      why is eyebrows jonas standing in such an odd way???

      • LambeeBaby

        He looks like he wants to pee farther than his brothers.

        You guys make me laugh my abundant ass off!

    • DebbieLovesShoes

      I saw this picture and Joe (aka “Eyebrows” – HA!) Jonas IMMEDIATELY looked like MR. BEAN to me!!  I mean, seriously.  AMIRIGHT?  

    • boweryboy

      Between their general appearance and the over use of print and pattern they look like professional douches.  Although, I do love High Hair’s pants and loafers – just not together.

      And I’ve never heard of Topman.  Surprisingly, they have realistically affordable clothing.  I see a pair of Very Special Pants in my near future.

    • formerlyAnon

      My first thought echoed that of Kim Brightman, above: the SNL skits with the “wild and crazy guys.”   Then wondered why they were not only less good looking but sooo much less fair than they were when they were young and cute and singing MMBop. And then I realized that was because they are not the Hansons, but an entirely different boy band.  

    • ccm800

      Are they like 4’11” – I mean they’re nor even as tall as the car and they’re on a sidewalk. WTF? 

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/FEP56YB4DUIXBWSLIMSSSGQHWY jimmack

      The Jonas brothers are has-beens for the record buying demographic…there are younger, more dateable boy bands. Even the Disney folks saw the writing on the wall and dropped them. Nice shirts but one would not know it is summer. The pants seem to have fit problems in the crotch…unless the boys are incredibly hung.

    • iCouture

      I’m sorry, but Fuzzy is freaking sexyyyy!!!    ….he is at least 18, right??   :-/

    • julnyes

      all those outfits are too tight and are screaming for a belt and a blazer. I can’t even with these boys.

    • Renaissance_Man_ATL

      Topman doesn’t make belts?

    • Dhammadina

      Love your names for the bros. 

      Eyebrows Jonas may really be Mr. Bean, fresh from the Olympics. 

    • DaveinAlamitosBeach

      Fuzzy has also been in Smash (as the sort of lovesick mopey rich investor), was Marius in Les Miz, etc.  and is rumored to be an American Idol judge.  I think he’s clearly the one with ambition in this group, not to mention the hotness. ;-)

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/UGFSSAYFPNER5HPV4GGZA3PMMQ Christiane

      I have one word:

      Garanimals.

    • DesertDweller79

      I also don’t know which Jonas is which.  (Actually, I don”t even know which names I should be choosing from.) But, I agree with TLo that Fuzzy Jonas looks the best.  I think the other two look pretty silly.

      And seriously, why are they all dressed the same?  I don’t understand.

      PS.  Wear a belt!!