Darlings, what would a T Lounge be without a gigantic fucking disco ball hanging over our heads all night threatening to come crashing down on all of us unless we turn the beat around, got to be real, toot-toot, hey, beep-beep? Boring is what.
Wyld Bar, W Hotel, London
So put your cha cha heels on tonight, girls! You should be dancing! We love the night life! Cause when we’re bad, we’re so, so bad!
Guest judge Joanna Coles, Nina Garcia, Michael Kors and Heidi Klum from the fifth challenge of Project Runway Season 10.
Also: Joanna Coles sits in the judges chair tonight and tries to make Nina feel small because she’s a brick house. She’s mighty, mighty; just letting it all hang out. Nina smiles in response, as if to say, “Go on, now. Go. Walk out the door. Just turn around now, ’cause you’re not welcome anymore.”
And it’s some sort of team challenge, which means tears and accusations, most likely. Tim will probably have to come in and buck these little narcissists with a “Baby, we can do it, take the time, do it right. We can do it, baby,” and then remind them how little time they have left with a “Do it tonight!” as he leaves.
And who knows? Perhaps someone among these mental patients will surprise us and produce something worthy. Perhaps le freak, c’est chic, darlings.
“THE BULLIES…GET BULLIED.” Ugh. Really, Lifetime? Really? Burn that mother down.
[Photo Credit: Barbara Nitke for myLifetime.com, restaurantandbardesignawards.com – Video Credit: myLifetime.com]