What an odd little episode. We found ourselves, upon waking, questioning whether it really happened the way we remembered it.
Bizarre blocking in a public space, with Tim standing so far away from the designers he has to yell at them? Check.
Clumsily obnoxious product placement or obnoxiously clumsy product placement? Check and Check.
Former winners treated like princesses? Check.
Forced to stand in alleyways and on garbage barges like low-rent hookers waiting for a potential john to come and pick them up.
Utterly unmanageable teams? Check.
And check. We’ll get to these two later, but we’ll say this: Buffi would drive us a little nuts too. The problem with Elena is that she passed “a little nuts” at 90 miles an hour before she ever set foot in that workroom. We think that, among the viewership, we’re probably two of the most understanding people when it comes to the behind-the-scenes pressures and prodding that goes on here, but she was so far off the charts with her stressing out that we just wanted to throw a bucket of cold water on her and tell her to lighten the fuck up.
And Frokemon had a sad. Don’t even get us started with the ridiculousness of their dress winding up in the top. No, really. Don’t get us started. We’re saving that for the second post.
As for Mommy and Me, it’s always a crap shoot trying to figure out what really happened in any given instance on this show because so much is left out or re-arranged in order to get a certain storyline. Even so, it’s fair to say that Costello-Lite needed to confront Andrea in the workroom rather than on the runway, passive-aggressively (“Oh, this is so demeaning for poor little me! I don’t like to point fingers but … HER. IT WAS ALL HER. SHE MADE ME DO BAD THINGS! OH, I HATE HER, I HATE HER I HATE HER!!!!! STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!!! But I don’t want to place blame.”).
“As Executive Producer, I am loving the shit out of your tears right now.”
On the other hand, his frustration was more than understandable. If Andrea wants to treat this competition as a lark, she should do it on her own time. It was extremely selfish of her to bring this attitude to a team challenge and force someone else to deal with it. As far as we can tell, it really did take her an entire day to cut a skirt; she really did laugh off the time she was wasting; and she really did say she didn’t care if she went home or not. Christopher should have confronted her earlier, but he wasn’t wrong to point out how she approached the challenge and how it hurt them.
And she was kind of obnoxious. “Well I’ve never been to the Emmys, but –” Stop right there. What’s the point of doing an Emmys challenge and plopping an actress in the guest judge seat only to find out she’s never been to the Emmys?
Ven Budhu and Fabio Costa
Kenley Collins (Season 5)
So congratulations, Ven! The judges have such a hardon for you that they pretty much openly dissed your teammate on the runway. “Well, we don’t know what … Fabio, is it? What Fabio did here, so we’re giving it all to you, Ven. We love you! Fabio frightens us.”
But this was pure horseshit. Not the dress, which is kind of nice; but the fact that it won, which was laughable. “I can sort of see this at the Emmys!” was the weakest justification for a win we’ve ever heard. Yes, it’s very pretty and it suits Kenley to a T while remaining a little modern. But despite what Nina said, the Emmys are almost entirely populated by gowns. You might see a costume designer or under-age starlet in a cocktail dress, but not many.
No, the judges have a hardon for Ven and it’s going to be very tough for the rest of the designers to break that shell. In fact, we were a little depressed last night because it seemed to us the bullshitty , character-based judge decisions (Gunnar and Frokemon in the top? Oh, please. Tell us another one.) started a little too early in the season for us. If they’re struggling to explain their choices now, what kind of BS are they gonna foist on us in 6 weeks?
Alicia Hardesty and Raul Osorio
Mila Hermanovski (Season 7)
This is hilariously awful. We would have sent both of them home.
HORRIBLE. Nothing fits or drapes correctly. It’s absolutely the worst possible style for Mila, and that ponytail is a joke.
They’re both menswear designers (according to them) and Mila favors wearing suits – or at least, pants with a jacket. This should have been a no-brainer for any designer with some imagination, but clearly, these two had no imagination. If you’re a designer who thinks he HAS to make a gown for the red carpet, then you’re not a particularly interesting designer. And if you’re so dismissive of the red carpet that you can’t be bothered to apply your own aesthetic to it, then you deserve to go home, Eduardo Munster. Seeya, cannon fodder.
[Photo Credit: Barbara Nitke for myLifetime.com - Stills: tomandlorenzo.com]