Pairs Division: Beckinsale and Biel

Posted on August 17, 2012

Even though they stood far apart from each other, we’re treating this one as a Pairs Division post because the ladies really went for broke with these dresses and deserve to be pitted against each other like prize fighting roosters.

Besides, they’re so boring on their own.

Kate Beckinsale attends the UK premiere of ‘Total Recall’ at Leicester Square, London in a Donna Karan dress paired with Brian Atwood pumps, a Jimmy Choo clutch, and Rona Pfeiffer earrings.

Donna Karan Fall 2012 Collection

SHE: Would have caused us to clap our hands in glee if she’d actually worn the little fedora, but we tend to be idioyncratic in our tastes some times and can understand why she chose not to. Besides, we would have complained that she ripped off the runway styling. Anyway, this is a slammin’ dress on her. High impact in a Hollywood kinda way. She’s so close to WERQing it that we almost forget about the gigantic bow. Why do that to such a gorgeous dress, we ask you? We don’t love the hair and we think the makeup could have been a little stronger, plus it looks odd without any jewelry, but she’s pretty much killing the look. even with our nitpicks. Score: 8.5/10.


Jessica Biel attends the UK premiere of ‘Total Recall’ at Leicester Square, London in a Giambattista Valli couture top and skirt paired with Christian Louboutin shoes, a Fendi bag and Vhernier jewelry.

Giambattista Valli Spring 2012 Couture Collection

SHE: Clearly is having her hair done by blind people or by people who hate her. Whatever the case, firings need to start happening. We pretty much love the dress (although we question whether it really suits her), but the hair absolutely RUINS it. This is such an up ‘do dress it’s not even funny. Points for the hot pink pumps, which we kind of like, but we still stubbornly maintain that nail art is not to be worn with couture. Score: 7.5/10 – and that’s mostly for the great dress and fun shoes.


Oh, right. It’s a Pairs Division. Combined Score: 8/10. Kate, hit Jessica over the head with your purse for bringing the score down. Oh, wait. You don’t have one. Girl, did you remember to bring anything with you tonight?


[Photo Credit:]

Previous post:
Next Post:

Please review our Community Guidelines before posting a comment. Thank you!

  • Scarlet39

    Why does Jessica Biel look like she’s suddenly aged 15 years? 

    • Violina23

      I was going to say the same thing — not sure if it’s the makeup but she looks so OLD. Kate is killin’ it…

    • turtleemily

      I was thinking that, too. Kate looks much younger than Jessica.

    • RebeccaKW

       I think it’s the hair, both style and color.  Combined with that eye makeup-she looks like she has no eyelashes.

    • Sobaika

      Eye makeup – tremendously wrong and aging for her face.

      • kikisayshi

         And her lips are too voluptuous for a neutral shade.

      • kikisayshi

         And her lips are too voluptuous for a neutral shade.

      • Kato16

        And minimal color/highlighting on the face. 

    • ashpo17

      I think the completely hidden eyebrows are also a contributing factor.

  • thrillckr

    Those bangs are not doing Jessica any favors.  Add to that the Cleopatra eyeliner, and it looks like she needs an eye lift.  It really ages her face.

    • Anna Maria Diamanti

       Her hair drives me insane. She has a ridiculously beautiful face–WHY IS SHE HIDING IT UNDER UGLY HAIR??? Girl, you are not much of an actress or a personality, but you have a face made for up-dos all the time. Use what you got!

      • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

        Agree – I am sick of seeing her Bassett Hound ears hiding the clothes and hiding her face, along with those awful bangs.  Girl, for gods sake, get a new hairdresser!  The one you have HATES you!

  • I really hate Kate’s dress. That bow needs to die in a fire. She looks like she escaped from a bad early 90’s prom and her perm isn’t holding.

    • Louise Bryan

      I think the dress is striking without the bow, with nice clean lines.  I just don’t get why the bow.

      • kschwarting

        I couldn’t agree more.  I looked at the first photo and my eye immediately went to that bloody bow.  Then I saw the runway photo, and the dress looks fabulous.  What the hell happened?

  • G

    Kate:  IN
    Jessica:  OUT

  • Jangle57

    I like the bow on Beckinsale’s dress; the front looks kind of plain and boring without it.  And Biel’s dress made me laugh; sorry but a feathered peplum??????  I find the peplum trend to be one that can go away sooner rather than later but that’s just ridiculous.  The hair is a sorry mess but my attention was drawn away by the feathers….

    • She looks like a goth ostrich, and that’s never good.

      • Louise Bryan

        I started clucking when I saw her.  Hmmm.

        •  I have to agree- looks like a white baby chicken was put in a microwave and exploded. and the shoes? like putting pink sprinkles on white furry poop. (and agree with all horrible comments about the horrible stringy hair…if she is going for ‘old’ maybe Ms Mirren can give her some tips on doing it right?

          • Judih1


      • bitchybitchybitchy

        It’s a feathered peplum atop grandma’s best lace tablecloth.

  • SummerSquash

    Can’t get past the huge bow. The runway dress is gorgeous. Awful.

    • PeaceBang

      I’m suffering with the bow, too. The model is killing the dress! With the fedora! Love it!

  • mjude

    i am so over that hair

    • makeityourself

      I am beyond being over it.  I am now infuriated by the hair.  

  • call_me_schmeg

    jessica’s dress looks like a showgirl’s wedding dress (and i mean that in a good way). but the hair i don’t even.
    a few days ago kate was rocking the beige ass bow. today, it’s the black ladybits bow. a theme!

  • Biel: GET A TRIM!!! Seriously.

  • In_Stitches

    It’s laughable how badly Jessica keeps failing.  She’s arguably the most beautiful woman in Hollywood with the body to match and…failure, time after time.  She doesn’t have to try.  Slap on some minimalist CK frock and bam, best dressed list.  

    • RebeccaKW

       I may have to disagree just the tiniest bit.  I do think JB is very striking-but I think she *does* have to try.  That hair-not even trying.  Angelina Jolie doesn’t try most of the time and she looks good.  Boring, yes, but rarely a miss.  JB rarely looks good.  I think maybe she does need to try, just a little bit.  At least try with the hair, and learn the silhouettes that suit her hot, athletic body. 

    • Like that Ralph Lauren (I think it was?) champagne-colored gown with the draped neckline she wore to the Met Gala once. For whatever reason, that look totally stuck with me – she looked amazing, and it was perfect for her frame. Sleek and sexy without too much foofaraw or fussiness.

    • AnneElliot

      I completely agree, something like the dress Jennifer Lawrence wore to the Oscars.  Or anything you see on Gwyneth Paltrow.  For some reason, she just can’t pull off fussiness.

  • Judy_J

    Who in their right mind thought it would be a good thing to place that big-ass bow on Beckinsale’s gown?  Totally ruined a gorgeous gown.  And Jessica’s hair…..I don’t even have a comment for how bad it looks.

  • Bow??? WHYYYYYYY????!! Christ, Kate!  Argh! And Biel – WHAT IS WITH THE LOUSY HAIR STYLING? (okay, I need to cut down on the caffeine) But seriously, it would be so EASY for either of them to get this right…

  • out for a walk

    I think I agree with you TLo, but honestly that bow is SO BAD I’m having trouble thinking straight.

  • granddelusion

    How doo these two have careers? So dull.

  • Whoever told Biel that white is her color should never work as a stylist again.

  • Hate that big bow

  • HM3

    Biel needs to shorten her hair length (and COMB IT), but other than that, I feel that she wins this one. She looks better than I’ve ever seen her look!

  • In_Stitches

     I like the bow on Beckinsale.  Without it, the bodice looks somewhat unresolved. 

  • Why Biel continues to go for these fussy pieces is beyond me.  She is SO not that girl and never manages to pull it off; this GV dress is a great example. However, when she goes with a simple sheath in a great color (see: the pictures of the after party this same night, I think) she tends to look great — save for the hair, which is still tragic.

    • I often wonder if this goes back to her 7th heaven days and then she did that racy photo shoot and has tried to be a sex kitten ever since.  I see her more as a Jennifer Garner type actress and the harder she tries to be sexier the worse she fails.  It’s a shame too b/c she’s gorgeous with a rocking bod. 

      • RebeccaKW

        I think she could do sex kitten…just not this girly-girl version, with odd dresses and winged eye makeup.  If she did a more slinky version of the sex kitten, to really highlight that bod, I think it could work.  Of course, she’ll need to do something about that hair, b/c that is NOT sex kitten hair.  That’s no-sex kitten hair.

  • GillianHolroyd

    Sad because I love that Giambattista Valli outfit more on Biel than on the model… looks like she took off a layer of fluff and added a band of fabric. Beautiful. The hair is not good but the shoes are worse. Like the eyeliner but I think she is out of her league here.

    Kate–dislike the back of that dress so the bow doesn’t bother me so much. 

    This is the premiere? Those folks in the background look completely bored.

  • However bland she might be, I think Jessica deserves some credit for making this dress work. I know she just had to slip it on and show up but on how many people would a feather peplum dress actually look that good. An up do would have taken it to WERQ territory but I think it’s already almost there.

  • pookiesmom

    Interesting. I actually thing Biel looks great (hair and all)–better than the runway model, IMO.

    • pookiesmom

      I should add that I think the dress is absolutely ridiculous but for some reason I love it on her.

      • raeb23

        I agree, she’s making it work despite her hair. I don’t mind the nail art
        either as it’s barely visible. The bow on Beckinsale though…shudder. 

  • Jessica O’Connell

    I actually like Kate’s hair, I think it looks really pretty. But yeah, I’m confused about her lack of bag. The caption says that she has a Jimmy Choo clutch… I don’t want to know where she’s hiding that thing.

    • kimmeister

      Maybe it’s under the gigantic bow.

  • Squarah

    I think Jessica’s nails are a perfect example of how you CAN do nail art on the red carpet. It’s very, very simple nail art for one thing, just 2 colors split on a diagonal. I’m all for it. I like everything about her look, actually, except the feather peplum.

    I had a Barbie with Kate’s dress in 1991. No thanks.

  • Maybe the purse is hidden in the bow?
    They’re both wearing their default hair, but Kate’s works with her dress and Jessica’s is tragic.
    I would cut a bitch for Jessica’s dress. It’s spectacular. It looks a little itchy though (that’s how I talk myself down off the why-can’t-i-have-feathery-dresses ledge).

  • Daisy James

    Nail art: The style choice that says, “I am REALLY into pinterest.”

  • 3boysful

    My first thought on seeing Biel’s dress was “Bjork’s swan dress”!  Although a much more tasteful version.

    I’m not sure what shoes she needs, but I despise the pink pumps–too heavy with all that sheerness and fluff.

  • Ali

    Jessica Biel, like Christina Hendricks, seems to want to go uber girly and completely ignores her body type. That’s not to say she can’t be girly – but those girly touches need to be flattering to her athletic body, just as Christina’s love with lace needs to also take her figure in mind. If Biel he dressing herself, I understand this, since sometimes what we like doesn’t suit us. But if she has a stylist? GIRL.

  • Jennifer Coleman

    How strange – I looked at Biel’s dress and mentally shrieked, HATE IT! Wait, no, I kind of love it! The shoe choice was brilliant.

    If Kate Beckinsale was in front of me right know, I’d pinch her nose for agreeing to jack up that fab dress with that stooopid bow. However, I do agree with the rating. 

  • MilaXX

    I disagree with both these scores. Kate ruined that dress with the addition of the hideous bow and Jessica is once again in someone’s else’s dress. This time with really bad hair. I have to begrudgingly admit the nail art is out of place here. I’d give Kate a 7.5 and Jessica a 7 at most.

  • You guys are being kind. (Or maybe I’m grumpy…I don’t feel grumpy, though.) They both look ridiculous and I think both dresses are awful.

  • julnyes

    Biel’s hair is two different lengths! In what world is this okay?

    • Looks to me like she’s still growing out her hair from the 90’s when layers were all the rage. 

    • kimmeister

      The same world where Jordin Sparks hair has about a 3″ difference between her right side and left side . . .

  • VicksieDo

    I love JB’s dress and heels, but her head…lordy.  I don’t hate the bow on KB’s dress but I don’t see the need for it either.  

  • AuntieAnonny

    Methinks Biel is a little too obsessed with youtube nail art tutorials.

  • Is Kate addicted to oversized bows placed improperly on gowns? A few days ago it was the ass bow…now we have the cooch bow.  Both, Donna Karen dresses.  Without the bow, she would have really slayed it.

    Jessica, please retire from the runway, everything you do is tragic. 

  • I hate the bow on Kate’s dress, and it baffles me that it was even added in the first place. Nevertheless, she looks good.

    I hated Jessica’s dress upon first seeing it, but it’s growing on me. But. The hair. Seriously, Jessica. DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS. And I’m not sold on the pink shoes. I would have gone with a gold or something like that. 

  • My scroll thought process…..Kate may be boring but she is beautiful  laaaaaaa de daaaaa de happy day.

    Oh holy hair.


    •  and now at a second glance. Jessica could have really werq’d that dress. Shame.

  • kimmeister

    That GV dress just has too many textures, it’s not anyone’s dress.  The skirt itself is lovely though.

  • marilyn

    Kate:  The bow ruins the design of the dress.  It was intended to be a play on the matte black and the sequined black in a bold pattern.  The bow covers it up.  Thumbs down to whoever came up with that bad idea.

    Jessica:  What an awful mess of white lace and feathers!  It reminds me of something Streisand would have worn in Funny Girl.  At least in Funny Girl, we all would have known it was a costume, and Ms. Streisand probably would have made it part of a funny bit.   J’s hair is awful too, but it actually helps cover up this hot mess of a dress.  Kate’s dress had good design, although someone messed it up with a bow.  This dress is a collection of unrelated thing, so it was not good quality design to start with. 

    You were too generous with points for both of them.

  • Actually, I kinda dig the simple triangle on the nail that calls back to the color of the shoe. I think it’s well employed here.

    But her hair should be burned with fire.
    That might improve it.

  • LinXGUA

    I don’t know if it’s my meltdown from the Sparkle Premiere talking, but those nude pumps look good on the girl behind Kate. No, wait? Why i’m not looking at Kate? All is perfect but she’s tonned down. Maybe it’s the lack of jewelry, as T&Lo said, but i’m blamming the bow. The bow’s boring. 
    About Jessica: I hate that kind of dress, but the more i see the model, the more i get it. On Jessica, I like the strip of fabric around her waist; but there’s a lot of things going on. Even the collar is distracting. The pink shoes are distracting too. The purse is right, i guess. It glues the feathers and the skirt, somehow?

  • PrunellaV

    I like the bow. slinks away…

  • Imasewsure

    I actually like the weird wedding dress and the pink shoes… it’s the hair… it’s always the hair!!!

  • I like both dresses, although Kate should have ditched that bow. Jessica looks tired, and an up do really would have been the ticket.

  •  I don’t mind bangs.  I like the whole look.

  • Vic

    Biel is ALWAYS badly dressed. At least Beckinsale keeps trying and looks good half the time. Sorry, but Biel loses every standoff.

  • Call me Bee

    It just occured to me–why do celebs carry purses on the RC?  Don’t they have people for that?   Handlers?  Or is it the manufacturers who insist they carry their stuff?  Just wondering.

  • CarolinLA

    The white dress looks like something Daffy Duck’s mother would wear to a wedding.

  • LambeeBaby

    I am mesmerized by Jessica Biel’s dress. If I could only remove her head…*sigh*. I still think she beats Kate Beckinsale. It would have been much closer if Kate didn’t put that dumbass bow on that spectacular dress.

  • kikisayshi

    Ok, why did Katie add the gigantic bow to a perfectly fabulous dress? And what’s with the feather tutu?

  • kikisayshi

    Ok, why did Katie add the gigantic bow to a perfectly fabulous dress? And what’s with the feather tutu?

  • this is a silly little nitpick – but why does biel never seem to smile?  these women are so plastic.  not all women in general; i’ve just always felt this way about both of ’em.

  • I feel like Jessica Biel would WERQ in gowns that are simple sleek designs but highlight her fit body shape and also accentuates hour glass shape. Simple and Sexy and not Cute and Pretty. I don’t think it fits right with her look. She also should change her hairstyle and get away from those bangs.

  • Daenyx

    That giant bow had me ranting at my computer screen.  It is a GORGEOUS dress, and the bow completely ruins the fluidity of its lines.  (Yes, yes, she looks great otherwise.  But WHO in R’yleh thought that bow was a good idea, and are they still breathing?)

  • Apocalipstick Now Redux

    Kate has that hideous bow to distract from her WalMart dyed-to-match satin bridesmaid shoes. 

  • Man, it only just occurred to me that a lady star doesn’t need a purse EVER. Why would you carry shit when you’ve got handlers to do it for you? I will never look at all those lady stars pushing their ludicrous bags in our faces the same way again.

  • ccm800

    Why in the FLOCK would she have them plop a big STUPID bow on her belly and RUIN the line of that dress? RUINS the dress FGS. 

  • bellafigura1

    That Giam … GV dress is amazing, truly. And yesyesyes on the nail art.  Make it stop.

  • Warrior89

    Jessica – for god’s sake stop with the white dresses.  Kate – who thinks, “What this dress needs is a giant-ass bow!”????

    But I do love Kate’s hair.

  • Thathoodwink

    Oh dudes, she added that big bow! Yes, why is it there?

  • Thathoodwink

    Jessica Biel’s hair look like Junior High School picture day, circa 1968.

  • quiltrx

    I think that dress is NOT Jessica’s dress.  She looks too serious and fancy-waitress-y in it.  I am sure it’s a hard dress to wear well, though.  I do love the skirt portion.

    And WHY did they ruin Kate’s dress with that bow?  It’s weird to say, but somehow, adding that extra element makes it look more ordinary.

  • guest2visits

    Both pretty dresses; but Kate should have chosen a pointy shoe, or even ones like the model.
    I like Jessicas’s dress a little more; But she needed a stronger lip color, and her nail art totally clashes with the feel of the dress.

  • hillmad

    I don’t mind the bow on Kate as much as I mind the complete lack of jewelry, hairstyle, and even purse! And the shoes are just OK. But yeah, both of them are beautiful women with fabulous figures, lots of money and this is what they (or their stylists) come up with?

  • EmilyMullasWilson

    LOVE the “fried chicken” sign right behind Kate’s head.  It looks she has a running interior monologue: “Do not look at fried chicken…continue to fit into couture…do NOT look at fried chicken.”

  • Anathema_Device

    Th addition of the bow just ruins Beckinsale’s dress.  She needs a bracelet, too.

    That is not Biel’s dress.

  • Anathema_Device

    Th addition of the bow just ruins Beckinsale’s dress.  She needs a bracelet, too.

    That is not Biel’s dress.

  • Renaissance_Man_ATL

    Y’all are wrong.  Jessica Biel looks FABULOUS!  Best she’s ever looked.  And I’m not a fan.  She’s giving WERQ, to me.

  • LOVE the hair down…Pink shoes r sweet n fresh!

  • Vic

    All dressed up like Hollywood glamour at … The Mall. Saints preserve us.

  • Dot

    At least JB’s bangs are straight this time — seriously, is this hairdo a wig or what?

  • I just noticed in some pictures on Tumblr that Dior was doing nail art on the runway in 2007. Hm.

  • OMFG all she had to do was a low ponytail… jeebus, dumb dumb dumb

    And that bow- ewwww

  • PeaceBang

    The fried chicken sign behind both of them has me in gales of laughter. 

  • What’s up with the constant white? Is this the year of pre-wedding bridal wear for every bloody event?  I get the whole marital glow thing but she is rocking white a bit more than is normal (or ok) these days.