Lana Del Rey for Vogue Italia

Posted on August 10, 2012

Enh. We’re too ambivalent about this spread to call it your Pretty of the Day. The clothes are gorgeous and Lana looks pretty good, in terms of hair and makeup, but man, does this girl ever need modeling lessons if she wants to do this sort of thing. You’re in Vogue, for Coco’s sake. Save the licking of your fingers and the clenching of your teeth for your Maxim spread.

We’re cranky and tired. See that cat in the last picture? That’s us right now.

Dolce&Gabbana

Lana Del Rey is featured in the August 2012 issue of Vogue Italia photographed by Ellen Von Unwerth.

 

Christian Dior

Gucci

Chanel

Rochas

Blumarine

Moschino

Dsquared2

 

We fucking LOVE that cat. “Bitch, put me down RIGHT NOW.”

We think every editorial should have a cat in it, if only to keep the pretension down. Nothing says “Bitch, please” better than the average feline facial expression.

We’re done. Peace out, girl scouts.

[Photo Credit: Ellen Von Unwerth for vogue.it]

    • Vickiefantastico

      Meh, it’s okay, but yeah, it just doesn’t look like a Vogue spread at all.

      • Sobaika

        Yes, it feels very Glamour.

        • Scarlet39

          I think it looks like it’s out of Cosmo.

          That’s one pissed off kitty.  She’s probably eyeing her human and/or agent off to side and thinking “you signed me up for THIS”??

          • CozyCat

            I’m surprised they didn’t photoshop the cat’s expression.

    • http://twitter.com/Kathy_Marlow Kathy Marlow

      <3 the cat!!!!! I'd feel the same way if I was there at that shoot, she has no personality. 

    • http://twitter.com/cupidissimo Feathers McGraw

      Ha the cat is making an “Ennh I am not having this” pose if I’ve ever seen one. Can’t blame her for the faces really, I bet thats what they asked of her and she hasn’t been around long enough to now better. Her lips look better when she doesn’t pout.

    • http://twitter.com/jelenawoehr jelenawoehr

      The clenched teeth, parted lips one makes her look like she’s checking for broccoli remnants BEFORE posing for the photo, and someone took a snapshot from behind the mirror.

    • call_me_schmeg

      this bitch wants to be priscilla presley SO BAD. claws out, kittens…

    • http://www.facebook.com/heelgrinder Stacie Herndon Kimrey

      booooooring. she doesn’t even do the vintage thing well :-/

    • chris malone

      That cat is giving more face than lana

      • MilaXX

         Bet the cat sings better too.

    • lbl

      Those mary janes…

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/TGSNS6AQN55TQLRNPOARINAKNU What ever my friends like, or

      Clothes are great, but she’s on my Irrational hate list, so the only thing saving this spread is this cat.

      • Nelliebelle1197

         I actually don’t think hating her is irrational.  There are plenty of reasons.

      • librarygrrl64

        Oh, it’s completely rational.

    • http://www.facebook.com/theAccidentalHousewife Leah Elzinga

      really?  Two separate vintage phone shots?  Step up your game, Vogue.

    • Evan Hart

      I just can’t with her talons…. I don’t understand how she functions with them and they scare me. 

      • AmeliaEve

        I wear long nails, and it’s quite possible to work around them. But I don’t feel obligated to pose with them in every photo anyone takes of me. Especially when they clash with my lipstick.

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

         You’d do yourself a mischief changing a tampon.

      • littlemac8

        I think the talons are a subtle reference to her cat-like nature: sensual, sleek, sexy and bitchy!!  Ha Ha Ha!!!  Me no likey!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1013443339 Hannah Prutton

      weirdly, i love it…

    • JasmineAM

      IRRATIONAL HATE ALERT.

      Edited to add: Amy Winehouse did it better!

      COMMENCE THE HATING.

      • alyce1213

        I’m with ya on that.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

        RIP Amy….

    • mjude

      loving the cat attitude.  LOL

      • SewingSiren

        Cattitude.

        • baxterbaby

          Kitty Stink-Eye

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ZBFH32YG44LIIZYLSQPMBXMYCU Sarah

      Yess. There are not enough cats in media, in general, IMO. Keepin’ it real, irritated kitty-style. That cat is thinking “I would be perhaps interested in the ties on your dress, for play purposes, but your squeezing of my torso is not acceptable, nor is your crusty overstyled hair in my face.”

    • SewingSiren

      My dog can throw some pretty good shade when he’s in a bad mood.

      • MilaXX

         Yeah but dogs eventually come around. Cats will hold a grudge.

    • Pants_are_a_must

      Her face. I hate it. That cat is my spirit animal.

    • alyce1213

      I can’t stand her, I find nothing appealing or redeeming about her whatsoever.
      What’s with her chest in picture #5?

      Will someone please explain why she is?

      • Little_Olive

        Ugh, and markets herself as “natural”, “vintage” or whatever hipster quality is appealing, while her lips are injected and her teeth capped. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1183772509 Jen Hughes

      The cat is the only reason I clicked to read this full blog. :)

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F73LIJ3SJGI5AJQMXMWXCKILHI Pamela

      Uh, in that last picture in the blue dress….WTF did they do to her arm??  It looks freakishly thin-it’s a wonder she can even support the cat with that fleshless stick.

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      She’s on my irrational celebrity hate list. Don’t know what it is, but I can’t stand the girl. She’s trying so hard to channel someone she’s not, and comes off pretentious and obnoxious in the process.

      Though I will admit that she looks really good in the 2nd picture, in the Christian Dior.

    • http://twitter.com/emilyf007 emily

      I don’t like her. You can put a girl in classy clothes but that doesn’t make her classy.

    • H3ff

      The cat is really stealing the limelight from Lana in that last shot.

    • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gabriella M

      She looks like a Julia Roberts knockoff in these pictures. 

    • http://www.wordydoodles.com WordyDoodles

      I just saw the video for National Anthem and thought she told an interesting story. I think they could have done a bit more of that kind of storytelling here, but that’s on the editor as much as the model, I’d think.

    • NDC_IPCentral

      Everyone’s entitled to feeling out of sorts in this wretched summer of heat, humidity, storms and/or drought.  You gentlemen wear your cranky-pants with verve, so carry on.

      This photo spread certain seems aimed at men, not women.  Chip, chip, chip.

      • alyce1213

        I don’t think any men I know would find her attractive, not in music or in these pictures.

    • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

      That’s pretty much the default face of every cat, ever. Which kind of explains why I love cats. Dogs are too fucking happy all the time while cats are all, “Bitch, please.” Or, in the case of my two, “I’m only humoring you because you possess opposable thumbs with which to open the kibble container.”

      I’m not really digging the spread much. 

    • MissAnnieRN

      The only thin I know about Lana del Reybis that she was on SNL and lots of people didn’t like her performance. This spread, through no fault of her own likely, looks not very vogue-ish. It looks decidedly low rent.

      We expect more, vogue.

      • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

         It wasn’t “didn’t like her performance.” It was HORRID. She sounded tone-deaf and the words were unintelligible (half the time I think she couldn’t remember them). Easily the worst SNL musical performance I’ve seen since the Ashley Simpson lip-syncing debacle.

    • http://kingderella.tumblr.com/ kingderella

      i like this editorial. it doesnt blow me away or anything, but its comfortaby above average. dont really get the ‘doesnt look like vogue’ criticism. i appreciate a little diversity.

    • butter nut

      this girl annoys me so much.   that cat is the best thing about this whole spread.

    • Tatiana Luján

      I don’t like her a bit and I HATE her nails and the way she opens her mouth trying to look sexy, but I definitely like some of the pictures.

    • Sara__B

      Pretty? Yes. Interesting? No. She’s 26 years old but still seems to be 100% affectation.

      • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

        That’s another part of why I can’t stand her. Everything about her seems artificial; she’s not even adopting or channeling a certain style and making it her own – she’s wearing it as a mask.

    • MilaXX

      I agree with the cat. This chick is on my irrational hate list.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2P2ANLRZ6YAVGONA36I2AQJYGI VicD

      She is sitting on a bed with gold bars?  WTF?

    • j_anson

      Meh is right. The only one of these photos I rather like is the Blumarine one in the red velvet booth seat. Looks like a candid they caught while she was having a smoke between shoots. Still don’t like her, but at least it approaches something resembling real personality.

    • gabbilevy

      She could not interest me less.

    • Vaniljekjeks

      I love the cat.  The girl, however, bores me.  She looks like one of those overpriced sex dolls in this spread.  LOVE the cat though.  

    • Toto Maya

       She just seems like she’s trying to be a mix between Amy Winehouse and Adele. They both did it better.

      • Cat_In_A_Hat

        Yes, there seems to be a bit of band wagon hopping going on here but then I don’t know much about her. Has she always done this type of drag?

    • luluransom

      I’m sorry, these are laugh-out-loud bad. She really has no idea how to do this.

    • unbornfawn

      That cat is fierce! Oh, was there a girl or clothes somewhere?

    • merciblahblah

      That cat feels about Lana the way I do. Trust.

    • HM3

      Strangely, that second shot calls me back to Cathy Cambridge (though admittedly, NOTHING else in this editorial does).

    • nannypoo

      I can’t believe that Vogue Italia, or any magazine for that matter, would stoop so low as to feature this person. Why does anyone care about this talentless fame whore? She reminds me of Courtney Stoddard, without the ancient husband.

    • Judy_J

      Yes. I’m of the same opinion as the cat.

    • Jessi03

      The cat is by far the best part of the whole spread.

    • snarkykitten

      That cat looks like it’s one take away from mauling her face.

      and trust me, that shit hurts!!

    • mayavaly

      She’s a beautiful fake. She knows it. We know it. But the photographer was clearly not buying in.

    • holdmewhileimnaked

      ellen von unwerth is annoyed.

    • quiltrx

      LOVE that Dior, and the bracelet with it.

      I agree that this isn’t much  of a spread in Vogue-land.

    • butterflysunita

      I love the cat’s expression:  “I’m not getting paid enough for this.”

    • ccm800

      yawn. My friend s take better pix for FB 

    • Melvis Velour

      Pardon me but who the hell cares?  She’s got nothing on Sofia Vergara who’d have totally rocked this shoot (and probably had a much happier cat)

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Emily-Smith/12431153 Emily Smith

      she just looks skeezy to me. i do not care for that lacquered on make up

      • Little_Olive

        I thought the same, but maybe it’s sort of a visual pun… making her look like the mannequin she is. 

      • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

        the manicure definitely adds a certain level of trash.

    • l_c_ann

      So there’s going to be a opening in fashion for cat fur removal from $$$$ fashions.  Sounds good to me.

    • meowing

      Indeed, cats are the barometer of bullshit.  Give me a cynical cat any day over a dying-to-please-dog. 

      • Susan Crawford

        You know what they say: Dogs come when you call them; cats say “Leave a message and I’ll get back to you. Maybe.”

        • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

          however, if you want to know who really loves you, put your husband and your dog ( and your cat?) in the trunk of your car and go for a ride.  when you open the trunk, who’s gonna be glad to see you?

    • Susan Crawford

      “There better be a shitload of catnip in this for me or somebody enters a world of pain.”

    • Trisha26

      The cat gets a WERQ from me!

      • pippitypup

         The cat is the only professional in the spread.

    • http://twitter.com/k_wilson k_wilson

      think the comment i wanted to make yesterday got eaten by a bot – this time without the link.

      if we’re going for “known young female starlet in one september vogue or another,” i would have picked mia wasikowska in vogue UK.  she’s talented and the pictures are great.

    • jjfg

      Snaps up for the cat!  You CALL those bitches on their bullshit!

      • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

        nothing says fuck you better than the snub-nosed snotty face of a persian cat.  get your ugly non-feline ass of my planet!  and open a few cans of cat food before you go.

    • hac51

      These photos are hilariously bad.  What’s with all the phone shots?  That smacks of a spread in Seventeen magazine in 1962.  And the one where she’s trying to give face in the black dress…bless her heart.

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      Lana Del Blah.  

    • siriuslover

      It looks like they’re trying to channel Ann-Margret, but in Vogue? Seriously? And besides, no one can channel Ann-Margret.

    • DesertDweller79

      No.  Sorry, but no.  Except the cat.  The cat is awesome.  And I don’t even like cats.

    • http://profiles.google.com/sauchih Sau-Chih Feng

      The cat brought it.

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      could they only afford one pair of clunky shoes for the whole shoot?  i think she’s clenching her teeth because that dress is so tight that her boobs are about to scream! 

    • formerlyAnon

      I like this shoot, though not in an “admiring clothes & models” way. I am very taken with how it captures the feel of very, very late 50s through mid-late 60s magazine photos. Based on my  [very sketchy] visual memory, more like features in Look, Life or maybe even Playboy than the fashion mags. I think it’s the colors, the hair, and the slight graininess.

      edited for clarity

    • RzYoung

      The cat definitely steals the show! Lana’s nails are hiddy.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

      Plus, isn’t that last dress jersey? My cat would snag the s*** out of something like that. I wouldn’t get anywhere near her.

    • librarygrrl64

      Could her 15 minutes please be over soon???? PLEASE???

    • guest2visits

      I think she looks very good in these pics. The cat is po’d because it’s not catered. I love the look of the Dior and the Chanel.

    • Hai Yen Nguyen

      I actually liked her Born To Die album for awhile, but the more I see her in the media, the more I dislike her entire look and persona. This whole bouffant-y hair, pouty lips, and cat eyes isn’t news or unattractive but I just hate it on her. Hate.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/R6JKPJZ2YCNGQJ33BLWRAXU4SQ Maureen

      She represents everything that our culture is obsessed with – plastic surgery, perfection, coolness, vintage nostalgia and excessive wealth. People that despise it, despise it because they wish they could get away with what she gets away with. Let’s get real. Personally, I think it’s dumb conceptually but visually beautiful.