Jessica Biel in Oscar de la Renta

Posted on August 06, 2012

Darlings, we started off your week by offering you two extremely unfortunate outfits and we feel kind of bad about that so let’s look at a pretty dress for a bit, mkay?


Jessica Biel makes an appearance on ‘Good Morning America’ in New York City in an Oscar de la Renta dress paired with Louis Vuitton shoes.

Oscar de la Renta Fall 2012 Collection

Louis Vuitton Merry-Go-Round Pump in Alligator

Jesus, Mary, and Oprah, we are TIRED of her ratty hair. Sorry, but we just had to get that out there. You’re a movie star, honey. You can afford hair that doesn’t make you look like you work in a head shop. In fact, when you’re handed an Oscar de la Renta dress to wear, we’d go so far as to say that you are required not to have ratty, strip mall hair.

But hey, we can take comfort in the pretty dress, right? Love this color and this print. We’re not a hundred percent on the neckline and short sleeves; not on her. She’s broad-shouldered and fit, so we’re thinking the very top details aren’t serving her that well. Also, it appears to be just a skosh tight across her midsection. And she could have used a contrasting belt. But she got the shoes right. at least.

Hey, remember when we said this post was to give you something pretty to talk about? And then we did nothing but criticize? It’s why you love us; admit it.


[Photo Credit: Getty, Wireimage,,]

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  • teensmom99

    It wasn’t mean criticism, boys, it was CONSTRUCTIVE.  Fab dress and while I can see why you think the top isn’t perfect for her, it’s nice to see that fashionable people don’t always have to be bare. Short sleeves can be nice.
    I would die for the dress and shoes.

  • Anathema_Device

    It isn’t a skosh too tight in the midsection, it is WAY too tight in the midsection. And yes, her hair is a disaster.

    I love the dress, though, and it does look good on her. I like that she has figured out that feminine doesn’t have to equal bridal and dingy lace.

    •  Glad you mentioned the too tight thing. I was too busy railing about her tragic hair to say anything.

      • It’s VERY tight – you can tell by the way the fabric is puckering.

    •  Her bangs are totally crooked.  One side is way higher than the other…She’d be better off in a damn wig…seriously.

  • janetjb

    The color is nice on her.

  • Jessica, can you do me one teensy favor? DITCH THE BANGS!!  There, I got it out of my system. I feel much better.  Oh, BTW, the dress is cute. Not loving the shoes with it.

    • Le_Sigh

       They give her conehead right??  Its been driving me nuts!

      •  It also makes her lovely eyes look like little slits, every time she smiles.

  • Squarah

    Loose, soft waves with no frizz are now considered ratty hair? Wha? I think the bangs look odd with her face, but she still looks styled and reasonably well-coifed. Baffling.

    • HM3

      Before she rocked the bangs, I felt that Biel’s eyes were too small (or recessed? I dunno) for the rest of her face, giving her perpetual moonface. Or maybe she was missing eyebrows. I couldn’t decide. Either way, I think her current hairstyle suits her much better, as it adds some much-needed definition around her brow line. The problems lie in the length of the hair itself (not bangs), which is far too long, and that the ombre highlighting effect is a bit tacky. 
      Overall, however–even for someone with a highly-paid stylist–I’d say this is FAR from ratty.

    •  I keep thinking I must be high or something because I actually like her hair a lot. The bangs are a little crooked in these pics, though…

      •  IMO girl needs to hack off about eight inches and start afresh.

    • veronkimo

      I also like her hair. TLO, y’all are cray! 

    • Amy Ellinger

      the hair doesn’t bother me so much as the way she constantly wears it like cocker-spaniel ears.  Put one side over your shoulder, leave the rest tumbling down your back, much prettier for showing off the dress and lighter around her face.

      This style seems to be trendy (like the fishtail braid, or everything over the shoulder all mermaid-y) but as a long-haired princess I ask, What is wrong with a cute messy-ish ponytail or updo?  Especially in the summertime!!! 

  • DeborahJozayt

    Is it me or are her bangs uneven?

  • jw_ny

    The dress looks pretty darn perfect on her, and for her…if she got that “ratty strip mall hair” out of the way, I may have a contrary opinion on the neckline and sleeves tho.  Love the shoes she paired with this dress.    🙂

  • Those bangs. They bother me. It looks like she’s wearing a wig off center.

    • jw_ny

      lol…or maybe Jessica Simpson clip on bangs….that she got at the ratty hair store at the strip mall 😉

  • Believe it or not, that’s a very current hairstyle.  I don’t think the bangs work for her but she is a very pretty girl.  LOVE the dress.  

    • Classic example of why not all current hair trends are for everyone one.  I think she needs bangs, just not the ones she has. Something lighter. 

  • Kayceed

    Wow! She looks like Carla Bruni in the blowing kisses pose, no? Nice color on her.

  • The dress is very cute. I don’t really like the shoes, but I’m not a fan of super-pointy pumps.

    Every time I see the name Jessica Beil, I think it’s going to be Jennifer Beals and I have this split-second of “Wait, THAT’S not the girl from Flashdance.” Also? I’m old. 

  • sagecreek

    Pretty! Although I do have to jump on the “enough with the bangs” bandwagon now.

  • DinaSews

    She has a slammin bod but never gets it quite right, though I like this dress.  What should a person with broad shoulders wear to avoid looking like a linebacker?

    • HM3

      I am especially interested in this answer, as a person with broad shoulders.

    • kimmeister

      No boatnecks, no cap sleeves, and no wide V- or scoop necks.  I find that ring-necked tops work really well.

  • Snailstsichr

    My imaginary conversation with Jessica:

    That was my hair in HS. I got over it; Jessica, honey, you need to do the same.

    By the way, let your hairdresser know your bangs aren’t even. Or did you go to the place in the mall again??

    •  I think she trimmed the bangs herself.  That was the first thing I thought.  Looks like something I would do to save $6.

    • Anathema_Device

       Oh my god, you’re right. Her bangs are totally slanted!

      In general I don’t mind the bangs (were they even) as much as I hate the ratty ends. It smacks of a woman who thinks she has to keep her hair long to be pretty. Just trim a few inches off, Jessica! You’ll thank me.

      • Amy Ellinger

        or at least even out the color and do a vo-5 hot oil treatment!

  • Pants_are_a_must

    She will never get it right. Whoever’s deciding on your looks, Biel, fire them, whether it’s your stylist or your fiancé.

    Also, I’m starting to believe that’s not her actual hair.

  • ccm800

    This one! On my list of dull ass pretty people who do NOTING for me – she and Alba are co-leads. Cute dress though. She and Hilary Swank have very similar body/dress issues. 

  • MilaXX

    Agree with you on all points, but I actually think this is one of the best looks she has worn on this press junket. As for the hair, I’m just going to pretend it’s in the growing out for the wedding phase.

    Are we going to get any Olympic posts. Man some of these uniforms and costumes are crackalicous.

  • belfebe

    Other than the hair (which is really weird on her), she looks better than she has in a long time.  Great dress.  Great shoes.  Making progress!

  • granddelusion

    It’s too tight. And I’m so tired of jessica biel.

  • I love everything about the dress and the shoes! Seriously. I want that dress.

    I like the bangs on her (though they look lopsided in these photos), but the color and the cut needs some serious attention. 

  • Violina23

    LOVE the color & print. Agree on the sad, sad hair…

  • SewingSiren

    Are her bangs supposed to be cut on a diagonal?
    The dress looks good on her, but it’s the wrong season.

  • jilly_d


  • This is pretty close to unfortunate.  

  • I was going to say the same thing! JB, you’re a gorgeous girl but that hair…ugh…those bangs are not working for you. You look like a depressed midwesterner.

  • Thathoodwink

    Darn, I wish I was lucky enough to look as “unattractive” as Jessica Biel.

  • mjude

    it is why we love you!

  • l3icest3r

    Mmmmmmm … those shoes. Want.

  • I would die of happiness if I could ever get my curly hair to look like Jessica Biel’s instead, and you’re saying it’s basically the worst thing to have ever offended the eyes of the world. Forget about the problem of promoting unreasonable body issues: I can do pilates, I can’t change my hair DNA!

    • Susan Crawford

      I hear that, Katie! That old hair DNA gets us all the time. My best friend for 40+ years and I originally bonded during freshman year of college as we stood side by side in the dorm bathroom, struggling with our pin-straight, super-fine bodiless hair. No bouncy flips for us! No soft, sexy waves! Hours of wearing rollers produced two minutes and four seconds of sad little bumpy curls before the DNA kicked in.

      And across the hall, our pal Donna with her springy auburn spiral curls was busy at the ironing board, trying to iron out her hair so she could emulate Jean Shrimpton’s long, straight locks.

      Someday, somewhere, some brilliant scientific mind will come up with “Hair Pills” – want a day of full, wavy hair? Pop a pill! Want wild and free curls? We’ve got a pill for that! Yearning for super-sleek straight hair? Got that covered, too. Now that would be Nobel worthy.

      On the other hand, there’s the option of saying the hell with it, and celebrating whatever hair DNA we’ve been blessed (or cursed) with. Rock that mop of curly hair, girl, and I’ll do the same for my flyaways.

  • plinkiedoodle

    Hail!  I admit it. 

  • kaycem

    i’m tired of her hair, period.

    it’s been basically the same since she hit the scene, and any woman — nevermind actress — would be do for at least one major hair change in that amount if time. but she’d need an amazing hair stylist for that, and t.lo already established she lacks that, so.

  • EEKstl

    Yes, that’s EXACTLY why we love you (but only one of the countless reasons).  The sleeves and neckline are not working for me here; much as I love the color and print I’m not sure having it on both skirt and bodice does her any favors either.  Better to have gone with the print skirt and the sequin top.  Shoes really are perfect.

  • Susan Crawford

    Yep, that’s the kind of TLo writing that keeps this Bitter Kitten comin’ back for more, fellas! Aaaanyway, I really like the colors, the print, the cut and so on of this dress – SO flattering to so many body types, and so classic in the OdeLR style.

    I’m on board, too, with wishing Ms. Biel would amp up the hairstyle a bit. She obviously loves her long locks, but there are so many ways to style them, and she always seems to fall back on the “let it all hang down” look, which doesn’t complement her pretty face, IMHO.

  • kimmeister

    What a beautiful dress.  I don’t think these particular short sleeves are bad on her.  Definitely could’ve sized up and used an updo.


    Yep, the hair is bad…  I like the idea of bangs on her for a change, but crooked ones, nuh-uh.  And I think she needs about 6″ of those crispy, straggly ends cut off. 

  • sk8tfan

    She’s needs to lose those hideous bangs. They do nothing for her and are so distracting I can barely pay attention to what she’s wearing. But it’s a gorgeous dress, if a size too small, and for once it’s paired with the correct shoes.

  • Nothing says “fresh Botox” better than new bangs.

  • A red belt would have been KILLA. But the dress is gorgeous. I won’t ruin the day and discuss her hair. I’m imagining her bald.

  • Judy_J

    Beautiful dress, a bit too tight.  Hair’s a mess.  Shoes are all right.

  • yulaffin

    I agree about the hair.  Hate the bangs.  Love the dress although it is a bit tight in spots.

  • boweryboy

    I’m probably in the minority here but I absolutely hated that entire Oscar de la Renta collection. Usually his work blows me away from the over abundance of pretty but not this collection and not that dress.

  • marilyn

    She looks fine, with the modified dirndl look.  The runway model on the left was wearing the skirt with a handkerchief hem, which (surprisingly) makes it definitely cocktail wear.  The top that Jessica is wearing is better than either one the runway models are wearingl.  Maybe ODLR needs to go back to the drawing board for the top.

  • kmk05

    I would have much preferred the floatier version of that skirt. Also, TIGHT! Her midsection looks like it’s dying. Does she have these shoes in every colour?

  • guest2visits

    The dress is very pretty; but it looks uncomfortably tight… it’s a great color on her; like the shoes too.
    The bangs are a little annoying today, but it looks like her own hair, and I don’t mind it a bit wavy, or mussed.

  • SorayaS

    I can only agree with you on the ratty hair and the gorgeous shoes. This is clearly a “Girl that’s not your dress” situation.

  • quiltrx

    Should have gone up a size.  And she’s going to be sorry someday if her wedding pictures feature that shitty hippie hair.

  • Neverbuynewclothes

    I am so glad to see a celeb/starlet in a daytime dress during the day, rather than seduction wear.  (Getting on soapbox) This is part of the sexualizing of teenage girls, because when they see slightly older women dressed during the day in clothes that show a lot of cleavage, etc., they think it’s de rigeur for schoolwear.  (Gingerly stepping down from soapbox)

  • Call me Bee

    Ratty hair (again), ill- fitting wrinkly dress and cool shoes but they are oddly making her legs look stumpy. Or its the hem length. At any rate, she does not look good.

  • PeaceBang

    Oh, I LOVE this dress! I just wish it was being worn by someone interesting, charismatic and/or talented.

  • akprincess72

    Beeatch is wearing my dress, grr.

  • TieDye64

    So so tired of the Chrissy Hines hair, cuz at least she was bad ass and did it better. 

  • JMansm

    Her hair is exactly the same as Leanne Marshall’s was on Project Runway Season 5. Does anyone else see the resemblance? It’s freaking me out. 

  • I want Cathy Cambridge to wear this dress.

  • Beth G

    Her bangs are crooked.

  • Kathleen Gillies

    I just irrationally hate that girl.  I know, she’s just…. well, you know probably really obnoxious and unable to talk about anything except herself and how strange her likes and pet peeves are and her boyfriend, her dog etc. until you want to puke or punch her in the face.

  • A. Valera

    She’s so pretty.  Can’t anyone step in and help her hair?  Won’t anyone think of the hair?!