Jennifer Lopez (x2)

Posted on August 20, 2012

Celebrities sure do like patting themselves on the back, don’t they? It’s not enough to have a party to celebrate your world tour (which in itself will wind up being a string of parties), but you also have to have a PRE-tour party to celebrate the tour you’re about to go on. It’s like a baby shower for a world tour, apparently.

And among celebritykind, there is no one more willing to hit her pose on a step-and-repeat at a party in her honor than Jenny from the block.

Jennifer Lopez celebrates her world tour with a special appearance at Wet Republic Pool at the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas in a top and shorts by Bec & Bridge paired with a Hermes Birkin bag and Lanvin wedges.

We should probably mention this was a pool party. With a step-and-repeat. Just like regular folks!

Anyway, this is perfectly appropriate for a pool party, we suppose. Except the shoes, of course. How you can pair those heavy-ass wedges with such a light and summer-y outfit is beyond us. Then again, this outfit on anyone over 15 kind of befuddles us. It’s way too youthful, in our eyes. J Lo looks just fine and has the body and the persona to work looks meant for much younger women, but this one’s going over a line, we think. If you take away the shoes and can consider the rest of the outfit appropriate for a toddler, then the outfit is too young for you, dear.

Also, tanner goes on the front of the legs AND the back of the legs, honey.

She did much better for her tour party. Her OTHER tour party.

 

Jennifer Lopez celebrates her world tour by appearing at the Pure Night club at Caesars Palace Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas in an Edition by Georges Chakra dress paired with Christian Louboutin pumps.

Her face is getting seriously draggy looking.

Anyway, this is a super-cute dress and we love the look. The dress suits her; it’s brightly colored and bold. We even like the hair, which is fun and party-ready. Kind of a shame about the shoes because they really do nothing for the outfit. And the same could be said for the clutch, which is interesting, but doesn’t quite provide the accessories oomph we expect from J Lo.

Try harder next time, Jenny. We’re sure you’re going to have many, many more opportunities before this tour is over. Why, there’s the “celebrate the first week of J Lo’s tour” party, and then of course, there’s the ever-important “celebrate the half-way point of J Lo’s tour” party, and who can forget the excitement that builds before “celebrate the ticket sales of J Lo’s tour so far” party? Darling, we’re getting exhausted just typing it.

 

[Photo Credit: CPA/PacificCoastNews.com]

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    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      The more I see her the stronger the smell of desperation becomes. If she doesn’t pull it back a skosh soon, she will stray into Madge-Land.  The first outfit is just skanky tragedy.  The second, though okay of itself, is ruined by the over processed looking hair, taking it away from sexy and into sad.

      • Laylalola

        The hair on the bottom is natural; the straight hair on top is super-processed. 

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

           I will bow to the likelihood of your greater knowledge in this.  The second pic hair just looks so flyaway and, kinda damaged.

          • http://profiles.google.com/ameliaheartsu Amelia Logan

            Having your hair colored and heat styled will make your hair very damaged. It’s just if you have a good stylist and enough product you can make your damaged hair look smooth sometimes ala the first photos.

      • Sobaika

        Awww, don’t you think you’re being a wee bit harsh? Jenny may not be everyone’s taste level (she wasn’t even at the height of her popularity and youth) but I think she’s years away from becoming the joke that is Madonna.

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

           Perhaps I am reacting too strongly.  I do get so very tired of our cultures seeming obsessive need to over sexualize everything. I get it that hottie, is part of her package. That said, it just seems more and more as though she is trying too hard to hold onto something that slips away from us all. 

          I suppose all I’m asking for is a modicum of acceptance of the reality of our human nature. That we will grow older is an inescapable truth. That we are wiser if we approach that truth with some grace, is also a truth.

          Jenny is a hot babe. Beautiful, and with a slammin’ bod women half her age envy; no denying it.  But it is quite possible to be sexy, hot, and attractive, without resorting to the obvious measures she so often employs.

          • Sobaika

            I guess we are looking at her differently. What you call clutching onto youth (which it probably is, who knows) I just see as part of her Miami-by-way-of-Bronx aesthetic. There are some ladies who dress this way well into grandma-age, which I find hilarious and oddly endearing, even if it’s not the height of grace.

            • SassieCassy

              yah i think she still wants to be seen as young and hot but the main force in all of her style is always puerto rican. which lotso people think is tacky.

              she looks good though! i feel like as long as you look good you can do whatever and whichever age. when you look like a bad plastic surgery case that happened to a granny (ahem*MADONNA*ahem) then it veers to pathetic.

            • lovelyivy

               This is true. I grew up in the Bronx, I can vouch for her being the ne plus ultra for When-I-Get-Rich-I’m-Buyin-That in the hood.

            • Alisa Rivera

              I grew up in the Bronx, I can vouch for her being the ne plus ultra for When-I-Get-Rich-I’m-Buyin-That in the hood.

              I grew up in the same neighborhood as Jenny and I can also vouch for this (also, ne plus ultra for When-I-Get-Rich-I’m-Buyin-That is brilliant)

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1401197785 Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

            Well said.

          • librarygrrl64

            Yeah, I don’t see her as “aging gracefully” kind of gal. ;-)

        • LesYeuxHiboux

          I see her as more intensely desperate because, to me, she started off desperate. Madge grew that way over time. J. Lo was desperate to be taken seriously as an actress/singer, as a diva, and then as someone who had not forgotten her roots. Now she is desperate to hold on to her youth and sexiness. She never seems quite comfortable with herself.

      • pookiesmom

        I dunno, the first thing I thought when I saw the first picture was “daaaaaaayum, she has a great body.” Anyway, I think that your comments are a bit harsh given that the first picture was taken at a pool party. Sure it’s not the classiest getup but it’s a freaking pool party. Class is not exactly the name of the game for that venue. And I can tell you that, while I’m sure her hair IS overprocessed (just as I’m sure practically everyone’s in Hollywood is), my wavy/frizzy/curly hair is not and it has way more flyaways than that.

        I actually think she looks great. The second dress is tight but not overly revealing. She looks confident and proud of her body. Which she should be. Unlike some aging starlets, I don’t get the sense of desperation from JLo–at least not here. She’s never struck me as someone who feels the obsessive need to be perfect, but rather (as Sobaika mentioned) she embraces a certain Puerto Rican aesthetic. 

        It’s weird, I’ve never felt the need to defend her in the past (I’m not even a huge fan) but I am strangely protective of her now. Haha.

      • MilaXX

         I think the desperation is already there. Having experienced the career lull from her marriage & pregnancy, I think she never wants to go back there again.

      • Candigirl1968

        Not to mention the stage eye makeup.  
        We get it, you have the best abs in the universe.  We bow down. There is no need for us to see them, except on stage and at the beach. 

      • ccm800

        I cant stand this one but desperation is not on the plate yet she is easily having the most successful year or so of her career.

        • Alisa Rivera

          In 2001 she had a number one album and a number one movie the same week. She’s definitely not the star she was at her peak.

          • ccm800

             Im thinking her bank account tells a much different story

      • http://twitter.com/Alloyjane Alloy Jane

        It would be absolutely appropriate for her to go to modern-Madonna levels of tacky because basically, she’s been jocking her life for years now.  Does anyone else remember J Lo talking shit about how Madonna is a great “performer” but a bad actress?  That will always be her defining moment to me.  A shitty actress calling out Madonna as a shitty actress and basically telling her to stick to her day job as a singer.  And then the bitch puts out an album!  An album full of songs even shittier than her acting!!!

        I fucking HAAAAAATE Jennifer Lopez.  And not irrationally.  There are very measured reasons for my utter dislike of her.

        So none of this is a surprise to me.  And when she botoxes her face into oblivion, that will not surprise me either.

    • http://www.facebook.com/james.wurm.1 James Wurm

      I love you guys, but did you write this while asleep?
      “(which in itself will wind being a string of parties)”
      “Jenny from the bl0ck”
      “The dress suits her; it’s brightly colored and bold, which suits her.”

    • formerlyAnon

      Except for the shoes, there’s nothing wrong with the first ensemble for a *private* pool party when you look like that, IMO. Perhaps a little too cougar-on-the-stroll for a work event with photographers. Not that that seems to be a concern for her.

      She looks good in the second. On the verge of needing to let herself age a bit, though.

    • CPK1

      the white shorts look a bit like a diaper. She needs to rein it in a bit. 

    • http://twitter.com/TheRedZavodnik Ginger

      I actually drew my coworkers to my desk with exclamations of “OH HELL NO, JLO!” 

    • ballerinawithagun

      You like the hair??? Looks like a bad hair day to me. 

      • Lori

        To me it looks like an attempt to corral a bad hair day that failed and strayed to close to poodle territory. The rubber banded top knot business is more “groomer” than “stylist”.

        The dress is cute though.

      • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

         I haven’t worn my hair that way since I was 4. It seems a little juvenile.

    • afabulous50

      No to both looks.  Those white shorts hit her leg in its heaviest part.  The outfit would look great on my 17 year-old god-daughter, but not you JLo, not you.  The blue dress?  Could it be any tighter?  And, don’t get me started on that hair…yikes!

      • Eva_baby

         “the outfit would look nice on my 7 year old god-daughter” there I fixed it for you.

        Seriously, my first thought was that it looked a Fisher Price play-set or a garanimals or something.  Just really not flattering or age appropriate.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      Jenny, you make yourself old and irrelevant by trying to appear young.  The second dress is entirely too tight and thus, she looks ridiculous. I applaud her slamming body after having twins, but I do not need to see this much of it. Ever. 

    • http://www.MintaHall.com/ Minta Hall

      The second dress is cute but a size too small. She’s got some serious shoulder bulge/back bulge in that first photo. Skin tight is doing her no favors here. And the shoes are just off.

      • MoHub

         The blue dress makes my boobs hurt.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1241487378 Lauren Lynch Fox

          I thought the very same thing.

      • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

         That was what I saw, too.  I agree the second look is FAR better than the first, but neither is winning any prizes.

    • Vanja

      I wonder, what’s in that clutch. It looks empty, so why carry it around?
      It also looks like a pencil case, one of those big ones where you could keep all the gel markers, glitter markers, metallic pencils and scented erasers.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

         Maybe that’s exactly what she has in it. Plus some embroidery floss so she can make friendship bracelets for her crew, during breaks.

        • LesYeuxHiboux

          If that’s true, my opinion of her would improve enough to become a mildly positive one.

    • mhleta

      Fingertip rule, Jen. Your hem on shorts, skirts and dresses should be no higher than the tips of your fingers with your arms at your sides. And make sure those shoulders are down and the fingers are stretched real loooong when you measure. 

      • Call me Bee

        Egsaaaaahly!  That’s the length my skirts were in 1969 in high school.  Fingertip length! 

    • http://kingderella.tumblr.com/ kingderella

      yow! the first look is dreadful. exposed belly button and diapers!
      i like the shape of those shoes, but not the snake-skin material or those weird straps.

    • mjude

      i am forever over her

    • newleaf1

      The blue dress is cute but it looks like a sausage casing on her. Take it up a size or two, so you can breathe, Jenny.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2B6U4UNVYIV5DLEG6Z24ALYOC4 Dan Alexander

      The top of the blue dress is about two or three sizes too small! her back skin/fat is spilling out of the top and the fold under her girls shouldn’t be there if the dress wasn’t a youth size!

    • Jessica Goldstein

      I adore the second dress, even though she picked it. (JLo is on my irrational celebrity hate list.) But how in God’s name did she think the first outfit looked good? Here’s one of the fittest 40-somethings around, and she picked an outfit that gave her upper-arm fat, smashed  boobs, a pooch, and heavy thighs. When you have her kind of money, there’s no excuse for that.

    • Kayceed

      She doesn’t do “casual” very well. Neither look is chic in any way.

    • http://www.patheos.com/ Star Foster

      That blue dress gives her a back fat roll. Extremely unflattering.

    • http://www.facebook.com/alexandra.pimenta Alexandra Gama Lima Pimenta

         I know I’m rarely fair when it comes to Jeniffer Lopez (I refuse to use whatever ridiculous nickname she gave herself), because I think she’s big part of what’s wrong with our society.  That being said….

        That first outfit is ridiculous. No doubt, she has a great body and it’s a pool party, but the woman is 43 years old. C’mom now. The outifit in itself is fugly and tacky by nature, but have some pride, woman! She could be just as ‘naked’ (as she likes to be) and have a better tasting outfit.

       The second dress is gorgeous. But it does NOT fit her. Her back bulge is so huge on the second picture, I hope it’s some sort of illusion from the angle. Otherwise, who on their right minds would allow her to leave the house like that without pointing it out that her dress is a size too small??

       I refuse to comment on the Pebbles hair.

      • Sobaika

        LOL at Pebbles hair

        Though I fail to see what’s wrong with Jennifer Lopez’s ‘contribution’ to society when we’re in a world with the Kardashians and the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

        • http://www.facebook.com/alexandra.pimenta Alexandra Gama Lima Pimenta

          We are not talking about them. If we were, I would probably make the same comment. Or, like most times, not even bother to comment on the garments.

           There are *many* wrongs in our society… one doesn’t null the other. lol

      • http://twitter.com/Alloyjane Alloy Jane

        “I think she’s big part of what’s wrong with our society.”

        I love you.  So much.  Sososo much.

    • LANDRU3000

      I’m seeing a little Manila Luzon in the second look.

    • Pants_are_a_must

      Looking at these pics, I feel like this is ’99 again and all the radios are still blasting “Waiting For Tonight”, whether you like that song or not.

      That is to say, honey, you are 13 years, 2 kids and 2 husbands (+Affleck) away from then. Maybe it’s time to pass the Jenny From The Block character on to some sad teen bopster looking for a public persona.

    • Deedles

      When your dress is so tight that it’s giving you back boobs, there is a problem.

    • l_c_ann

      Jennifer (the Fly Girl) could have rocked both these outfits.

      Jennifer the Star needs better underwear and a better understanding of the ugliness of smushed boobs.
      The white top is so cute from the side (at least the back half) but the front half shows that the darts don’t match her girls at all, and that’s what makes it wonky.  It could look good, if it fitted her correctly.

      The second dress….I fall with the Bitter Kittens below who have already suggested that going up one size may not be enough.  Doesn’t she realize that her body is still really beautiful and that two sizes larger will still show her great form, without the migrated northward muffin top?

      • deltabronze

        Perhaps the white top would fit her boobs better if it were in a larger size … but then it probably wouldn’t expose her navel, which was her likely objective.

    • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

      While I’m sure it wasn’t intentional on her part, that blue dress is a bit TARDIS-like, so for that, I like it. But it’s doing weird things to her chest and the hair is what I look like after a night of partying and not showering before bed.

      The top outfit would look super-cute on my 6 year old. Minus the shoes, of course. Yish. 

    • miagain

      A Hermes bag at a pool party….

    • ringthing

      JLo is a fixture on my irrational celeb hate list so I can’t think of anything good to say. Her *talents* are mediocre at best, and nothing is sadder than drifting into mutton as lamb territory.

    • crash1212

      I don’t know what y’all are talking about. She looks great in the first outfit and it’s totally appropriate for the party. In no way is that an outfit for a “toddler”. Sheesh. As for the blue dress – it’s hideous and it doesn’t fit her and her hair is a rats nest. In fact, this entire post and most of the comments has made me quite cranky.  Harumph.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DJQMGJU7MZMBVLSD4GUTPJEPD4 murt

         Completely agree – she looked great in the first outfit… I don’t think that she’s too old for it at all. The second dress is way too tight though. Honestly I think she’s aging really well!!

    • Leslie Streeter

      Oh, that first outfit. Jenny, baby…those of us whose birth years start with ’197″ need to not wear crocheted hot pants and halters. Your body is sick. We love it. You outfit is stupid.

    • Jennifer Coleman

      The problem with JLo is she never really established an image beyond Hispanic hottie singer/dancer/semi-actor/product-slinger. Sure that sounds like a whole lotta stuff, but she has not positioned herself to age gracefully. Madonna did position herself as an iconclast that was reimagined every so often and I was hoping she would come up with something cool for her 50s beyond the pop diva, but she choked. JLo is even more constrained because she has never been seen as anything other than hottie. At this rate, she’s firmly headed for a more intelligible but less intentional comedic version of Charoland.

      • kimmeister

        But she’s a mother, entertainer, and a person!

        • Jennifer Coleman

          put ‘hottie’ in front of all of those & it’ll be more accurate! Seriously, is there a candid picture of this woman just driving a car or getting coffee not dressed for sexpot world domination?

      • Laughingworld

        So I am not the only person who thought of Charo when looking at the second outfit…

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      Maybe it’s just the way she’s standing or being photographed, but the dress in the second set of photos seems a skosh too small. JLo shouldn’t have a bulge hanging over the back of her dress.

      And the first outfit – it’s a joke. It has to be. 

    • http://remedialstitcher.blogspot.com/ Sara Leigh Merrey

      Back fat. Not attractive. This dress is too tight for her. And she needs to grow up and start dressing more age-appropriately.

    • schadenfreudelicious

      i dunno, that first outfit smacks even younger to me…like kiddy pool younger, i think it would look fetching on a kindergartner…

    • Call me Bee

      It seem J has always dressed as though she were a 6′ tall willowy model, when, in fact, she’s a short-ish curvy Latina with natural sensuality.  She is sexy wearing a potato sack, just because she is.  She’s always tried too hard. 

      The first outfit is ok for a pool party at age eight.  For us adult people–shorts need to be a bit longer. 

      The second dress is darling, but is not doing her any favors.  She’s way to curvy up top–not just in the boob region, but shoulders and back as well. 

      You’d think after age 35 you’d have figured how to dress as an adult.  But then, we all have our funny little affectations, don’t we?

    • librarygrrl64

      I would have switched the hair styles: beach hair for the pool party, sleek and sophisticated for the second event.

    • Susan Crawford

      The little top and shorts combo is kind of adorable, but would probably look much more appropriate on her little girl. And seriously, Miss Superstar JLo, the words “Las Vegas Pool party” and “Hermes Birkin Bag” when put together emit the stench of desperation.

      As for the Chakra dress, it created the dreaded uni-boob in front, but perhaps to atone for this, it then went ahead and created back-boobage. In other words, a size larger was absolutely necessary.

      Hair and make-up, as the ever-astute T and Lo pointed out: veering precipitously into Draglandia.

    • Kaja Engle

      Dress #2 looks like a geek-chic Tardis dress.

    • MilaXX

       First look: Considering it’s JLo and it’s a pool party, I don’t mind the outfit. I like the shoes, but I think the bags too heavy for the look and the shape of the bag would be better sited for Queen Elizabeth than JLo. Something lighter like the clutch she has in look 2 might have worked better.

      Second look: I like the dress & hair, but the eyeshadow looks a little draggy in some shots. The bag doesn’t really work here.

      I scored free tickets to her tour when t was in Atlantic City and I have to say, she works hard, but probaby only sings about 30 – 40% of the time.

    • Trisha26

      The Chakra dress doesn’t appear to fit at all – there’s an awful lot of upper back pouching out. That aside, I guess for JLo, it’s an okay look but it seems as though the younger bf is inspiring a return to her roots and a retreat from glamour.

    • melanie0866

      I thought the clutch was a folded newspaper.  Seriously. 

      And her back fat is hanging out of the back of the blue dress.

    • AngelaGreen

      The blue dress looks like the TARDIS.  But I don’t believe she’s bigger on the inside.

      • http://www.facebook.com/sarahegrizzle Sarah Grizzle

        ahhh that was my first thought when i saw it. it would be an amazing base for a costume!

    • emily mcginnis

      age-appropriate–that’s ALWAYS the first thing i think when i see any image of her. she is rarely, if ever, age-appropriate. 

    • ojosazules

      She looks globular, fleshy, in that first outfit, like those snakes on her feet going to eat her. Second outfit is cute, but isn’t it really tight?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1677420035 Nicole Seligman

      whaaaaat is up with that yoga instructor/kindergarten teacher hair? maria menounos wore on the RC last night too and i gagged. a half-up hairdo should not sit that high on your crown unless you are six years old. (maybe that’s what she was going for, now that i think of it, with the white play suit and odd hair choice?)

    • LesYeuxHiboux

      I see the intent behind the first outfit: reclaim some of that “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” magic, but the proportions are not working for her at all. With the booty, you need to be able to see the waist. She’s got a brick-torso situation here.

      The blue dress is cute and a great color for her, but girlfriend doesn’t have the biggest boobs in the world and I’m seeing a lot of squeezed flesh spilling over the back. I think it’s too tight. Love the cuff and the hair is surprisingly cute for being a mall-girl ‘do.

    • cleep1000

      Ugh. No. To both.

    • teensmom99

      Love the hair in the 2nd set of pix (blue dress). Exactly what the stringy haired starlets should do–you can still show the world you have beautiful long hair, but also make it a do appropriate for an occasion.

    • http://profiles.google.com/phyllis.craine Phyllis Craine

      Her hair in the blue dress? My father would call that “the bitter end of a swab” e.g. like the ends of an old rope lying on the deck of a ship

    • Beardslee

      Mutton dressed as lamb to the nth degree in that first one. Golly.

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      re: the second look, i said to myself “self, that is one hella cute clutch.  looks like it’s made out of an old newspaper.  wait, maybe it is an old newspaper.  hmmmm…”

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      i thought the background logo on the first one said anger management group and i wondered “are they sponsoring parties for jlo in vegas now?”  seriously.

    • GTrain

      Trying too hard (as usual) with the first outfit.

    • quiltrx

      The first outfit looks like it came from the wardrobe for a tampon commercial.

    • http://houseofestrogen.typepad.com/ Ann

      You think she would let my 4 year old borrow the white set? Might be cute on her.

    • PeaceBang

      The first outfit made me laugh (Toddler Jenny with Hooves!). The second outfit hurt my feelings. The fried hair and America’s Sweetheart striped dress (but too tight and hooched out with bad fit and bad accessories to work). 

    • http://twitter.com/AmberAndronicus Fucking A.

      Please don’t slick those baby hairs down. You may be from the block, but we are not on a 1989 block.