In or Out: Jessica Biel in Christian Dior Couture

Posted on August 02, 2012

Like her co-star, Jessica did much better in picking out her premiere outfit than she did in picking out her photocall outfit.

Jessica Biel attends the premiere of “Total Recall” in Hollywood, California in a Christian Dior couture dress paired with Louis Vuitton shoes. Clutch by Jimmy Choo. Jewelry by Tim Binns.

Christian Dior Fall 2012 Couture Collection/Model: Sigrid Agren (ELITE)

Tom Binns Grand Dame Large Tangled Crystal and Pearl Necklace

Louis Vuitton “Merry-Go-Round” Pump

And while we wouldn’t go so far as to call this a “science fiction dress,” it does have a slightly unusual, dramatically stark quality to it that does the job. We’re not huge fans of white pumps on anyone other than a bride – especially when paired with a pale pink dress – but these shoes have a bit of an edge to them that helps the look. Love the pockets and the seaming details on the dress; another set of elements that give it an ever-so-slight edge. As for the jewelry, we think she should have chosen either that necklace or those earrings, but wearing both at the same time is a bit much and makes her look a little top-heavy. The hair is a VAST improvement over the swimming-pool hair she sported the other day, but it looks a little plastered to her forehead. Also, she’s sporting orange eyeshadow and that’s really hard for us to forgive. And finally, we don’t care how trendy it is on Pinterest, nail art should not be paired with couture. There. We said it.


Vote Now!


IN! Crisp, clean and dramatic!


OUT! Too many weird things and missteps here.


Yvonne Strahovski’s “Behold! the 1955 Chrysler New Yorker!” dress was voted OUT by the Precious Unborn Fawns.



[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos,,,]

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  • Pants_are_a_must

    That dress is too long on her. Too much look, and she’s drowning in it. OUT.

    • MoHub

      On the model, the dress is barely calf-length; on Jessica, it’s almost ankle-length and makes her look squat. And there’s some major titscrepancy going on there as well. And I just can’t see the spectators with the pale pink dress.

      No. This is wrong, all wrong.

      • EveEve

        Agree- OUT.  Too long, too bulky (both dress and necklace) and that hair may be an improvement, but it’s still a lame effort.

        • Esz

           Length is really crucial in a dress like that – and it really needs to hit at the same place as it does on the model as she looks so swamped! Especially with all that heavy fabric. I totally love the 50’s style of it but hem it man!!

          • RzYoung

            I agreed and it looks like it’s been badly hemmed with WonderWeb again. Out from me I think. There’s just too much I don’t like to vote it in

    • I like the dress, but agree it’s too long on her, and the accessorizing is a fail. OUT.

    • The dress would get shorter if she pulled the dress up higher on her chest where it belongs.

      • Snailstsichr

         Yes, you can see that it is dipping in the front.

      • littlemac8

        Yes, but if she pulls it up, the necklace is sliding down into the top of her dress thus proving she should ditch that necklace!

    • e m

      EXACTLY! Everytime I see a celebrity in a Raf Simons signature calf-lenght dress it’s TOO DAMN LONG.

  • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName


    • No lie, that was the first thing that popped into my head when I saw the dress! 

      • AudreysMom

         Me too. I loved it until the close up of the tittypockets. WTF, Dior? OUT.

    •  Sounds like a new snack food.  “Try our new Cheddar and Bacon Tittypockets!  They’re delicious!”

      • Just say no to boobie pockets.
        Its not like shes flat chested and needed the illusion.

        •  I can certainly see where the CD designer is going with these latest efforts. He’s referencing classic original Dior from the 40’s and 50’s.  Both this dress, and the gray dress in the whiteboard post this morning are serious nods to the styling and construction details of the originator of the house of Dior.  Back in that day, such details as we see here were far more common.  Not saying you’re wrong in your statement at all.  These days, most women aren’t interested in that sort of obvious attempt to alter shape.

          • Lori

            I don’t necessarily mind an obvious attempt to alter shape. I do mind a dress that makes it look like a woman is going to carry a little snack or change for the parking meter on top of her breasts. Or in Biel’s case, not quite but almost on top of her breasts.

          •  One side has breath mints. The other has a little thing of dental floss.

          • librarygrrl64

            The New Look is all well and good but at least make the tit pockets (cue “Hot Pockets!” jingle) functional and practical, for goodness sake. 😉

          •  One for the iPod, the other for your charger?

          • librarygrrl64

            I guess it depends on the size of the tits (and therefore pockets) in question, but, yes, that would work for me, although iPod in one, phone in the other would be more evenly balanced. Less well-endowed lasses will have to settle for credit card and license, or your suggestion of mints and floss.

          • Jill Roberts

            This is Raf Simons’s first Dior collection – he came over from Jil Sander, where he was known for his classically minimalistic designs.  I appreciate that he was referencing both his own aesthetic and CD’s New Look (though I found the collection itself to be overhyped).  What was missing from Simons’s updated version of the New Look is corsetry.  With a severely nipped-in waist (or the wasp waists of the runway models), the proportion of the skirt and pockets works much more effectively.  But I don’t think that bodice would look good on anyone – it’s too fussy and oddly-seamed.

            TL; DR: Meh.  I miss Galliano.

          • Oh I totally agree. The corseted waist is the key to really selling these looks. And like you, for all his cray cray, I miss Johnnie G.

    • ballerinawithagun

      Perfect description!

    • aeg66

      God yes my first thought as well. Ugh.

    • andreawey

       I couldn’t believe that the titty pockets didn’t get mentioned and the fact that her nails match her shoes exactly! ummm no!

  • CPK1

    Out, I think. I like hair and make-up but the overall effect is upscale bridesmaid. I don’t like the stiff heavy fabric of the dress in that pink color

    • That and the jewelry is WAY too heavy.  It looks like she took Aunt Martha’s ENTIRE drawer of costume jewelry out and put it together in that necklace.  OUT

  • belfebe

    No.  Just no.  I can’t understand why such a beautiful woman keeps picking outfits that are not for her.  She needs to hire some gays and pronto.

    • Michelle Le

      i think justin picks all her outfits…snort.

      i hate everything about this look!

  • Clueless_Jock

    She should have worn the gloves.

  • Paigealicious

    Hem is too long. I agree w/ TLo’s assessment of Nail Art not going with couture, but…that’s a badass manicure.

    • Totally. My first thought was that I’m printing out that picture and going to get that manicure TODAY.

      • CPK1

         I know, I LOVE it!!!!!

      • KathKo

         And buy the shoes to match it ?

    •  Manicure matches the shoes. Therefore, I love it.  However, none of it goes with the dress.

      • I was just thinking that the manicure matching the shoes was a whole new realm of matchy matchy. Would have been so much better with a white catsuit.

  • hillmad

    That dress really needed the gloves. And not that necklace. And maybe Nicole Kidman to wear it.

    • MilaXX

       I was think January Jones, but yeah Nicole Kidman works.

      • Oooh, January Jones is a GREAT choice for this dress.  Biel, not so much. 

    • Wendi126

      Nicole was my first thought too…this should have been a “girl that’s not your dress” post.

    • piecesofconfetti

       Yes! Nicole Kidman could probably rock this.

  • OUT.  On every level she failed.  Especially when she went so far to match her fingernails to her shoes.  She doesn’t have the “umph” to pull that massive dress off. 

  • In.  I mostly love it.  Though matching the chrome tips of her shoes with chrome tips on her nails a bridge too far.

    • Anathema_Device

      Heh, as usual, we’re on the same page.

      •  We do seem to maintain a bizarre, but entertaining, psychic link.

      • formerlyAnon

         Can I hang with you cool kids? I posted my “in” & ran off to lunch, came back to read the votes and feel kind of lonesome . . .

        • Anathema_Device

          Well as Dorothy Parker is reputed to have said, “If you can’t say anything nice about someone, come sit next to me.”

  • foxy711711

    am i the only who hates the length on her?  it’s makes her look as short as i am…on the model it’s just below the knee/mid shin, on her it’s just above the ankles. it just looks….wrong….

    • mhleta

      No, I think it’s pretty unanimous. The dress is too damn long. 

    •  Shortening the hem would be the only thing that I’d change. It *does* need to hit her somewhere around the same place as on the model.

  • Jennifer L.

    The nail art might be interesting conceptually, but the inverted moon really shortens the visual line of her fingers. Not good for a day of full body picture posing. 

  • Jangle57

    so close but no cigar – OUT

  • Excellence_and_Elegance

    Pepto Bismol Pink dresses made out of vinyl are in? Since when?

    •  I’m pretty sure it’s not vinyl.

    • Kristin McNamara

      The whole thing (white shoes; baby pink vinyl (or at least, whatever that heavy material IS); GIANT, way-too-long-for-her skirt) looks so 50s to me. But I’m not sure this even would been “in” then, to answer your question haha

  • gabbilevy

    OUT. Dress too long, makeup bland. I like the dress (but not the tit pouches), but I think her hair, nails, shoes and necklace are all ugly. 

    • Tit pouches…. that made my day!  HA HA HA HA HA

  • Funkykatt

    Way way out. Is this really her dress? Nope.

  • Anathema_Device

    I don’t like the length of the dress. HATE the nails and the shoes. She matched her nails to her shoes! What is she? Twelve?

    But yes, hair and dress are a vast improvement.

    Hmmm…I’ll vote In because she doesn’t look like shit. Yes, damning with faint praise.

    • Tatiana Luján

      She looks so short. I bet she has enough money to buy herself some clothes and then have them altered to fit her body.

  • StelledelMare

    Out. Too long, that bust is weird and this is not what you wear to the premiere of your sci fi film. Not at all

  • clatie

    Oh, honey, NO.


  • amf0001

    I think that heavy necklace ruins the drama of the neckline. She should have gone for a choker, not something dangling, its spoils the lines.’

  • call_me_schmeg

    dress is too long. OUT.

  • She looks really pretty, so it’s an IN, but I have issues with the hem length, it makes her look shorter than she actually is. Other than that, very nicely done, nails and all…

  • mhleta

    Too long, too much emphasis on hips and I agree 100% about the jewelry being excessive. 

  • kittenwithaquip

    I get what she was doing with the necklace, nails and shoes, but the whole set veers into matchy-matchy territory. Plus, I have a natural aversion to white shoes and “nail art”. (Though I don’t have much room to talk, as I am wearing dark blue polish on my super short fingernails.) I would have liked the necklace a bit more if it wasn’t dripping into her cleavage.

    I know I am in the minority, but I liked the bangs she sported on that dour photocall. That slicked down look is to cover the fact that some stylist basically gave her a comb-over to hide her bangs.

    • MilaXX

       yep too matchy matchy and too much of it all

  • Kyle Crawford

    I love this , tres’ new look 2012….. if there is one tiny flaw, and you know,there most always is – the necklace, which I like and like with the dress – is maybe just too large for her frame? Her decolletage and shoulder blades are so beautiful – maybe should not be covered, but really an A+ from me!  ( and I am just going to to with what nail art ? )

    • MilaXX

       Nail art is the crazy patterns, designs, nail polish textures, nail shapes, as well as add ons like rhinestone and such. It’s a HUGE trend right now.

  • The dress has an odd proportion- like she’s playing dress up with mommy’s clothes.  It’s not a terrible look, I’ve seen worse.  Amused that her nails match her pumps.

  • ooo i like it it’s weird but i like it.  in.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    OUT. The mix of moods and styles is bugging me, with the Grace Kelly dress, the Sophia Loren pumps, the Dowager Duchess earrings and necklace, Raquel Welch’s hair from One Million Years BC, and nails from some random chick from Chi Chi’s Nails R Us in Lexington KY.

  • Judy_J

    I have to say OUT.  The boob shelf of the bodice is unflattering.  Her nails seem to be painted to match her shoes, for chrissakes!  She should have chosen the necklace or the earrings, but not both. 

  • OUT because I hate the hair and makeup, plus the dress isn’t great (boob pockets??). But sue me, I like her mani.

    • We’re clearly in the minority here, but I love the mani, too.

  • leave_Blake_alone


  • No. NO. NO.  She should take lessons from Kate B.  Everything’s just a little bit off…

  • PinkLemon

    Vehemently opposed to nail art. Can’t stand it.

  • I LOVE this look, right down to the hair, the makeup, jewelry, and nails!

    The only thing that I would change would be to take a couple of inches off of the hem. She’s a tall girl, but it’s still a little too long on her, and you can tell by where it falls on JB’s shins as opposed to the model’s. 

  • Jillaine13

    OUT.  Stumptified.  First word that came to mind.  It’s all too much and looks like a fun house mirror effect.  

  • LongTall_Sally

    OUT!  The necklace is my favorite element, the nail art is my least favorite.  A dress that color needs something to give it an edge, but the seams and the pockets look awkward rather than interesting to my eye.  

  • MissAnnieRN

    OUT.  Matchy accessories, dress not working for her – on the model it has a bit of a Jackie Kennedy reimagined as Chanel 2010’s couture – on JBiel it’s almost dowdy and puzzling in comparison.

    And I can’t with that mani.  

  • In-ish.  That said, I hate that her nails match her shoes.  Even if it does make the outfit more science fiction-y.  Actually, this is leaning toward Sci-Fi, that vastly lesser second cousin to science fiction.  I better post or I’m liable to change my vote.

  • G

    OUT.  Dislike her long limp hair, those nails (give them to Kate B) and the unflattering dress.

  • claudemtl777

    Nice overall, but on Jessica Biel, it loses the GraceKelly-ness it has on the model. A for effort though, so IN

  • MilaXX

    OUT! I don’t think this silhouette really works for her. This is better suited to the January Jones of this world. She’s entirely over accessorized; the nail, the earrings, the necklace and the shoes. I think this dress would have worked with simple hair, makeup,  muted nails (pink/blush colors). I would have gone for the shoe and the earrings only, and chosen a smaller, cleaner earring. All these fussy details with this dress is just too much. If JT really is picking her clothes, please make him stop because the last few RC’s have been a hot mess. I don’t recall her getting it this wrong all the time.

  • theblondette

    I love her nails! Everyone should have fun nails all the time. *admires own magnetic polish nails* But those POCKETS, what even are they about? It’s not like she doesn’t have 10 minions to carry her lip balm and tissues. They make her look weirdly proportioned. I say out.

  • Yeah, boo to nails & lose the necklace. Also, it’s longer on her than the model – don’t like that either.

  • AmandaCathleen

    It’s not even close. Everything from the unflattering shape & length of the dress to her obvious extensions to the clunky white shoes that make her feet look huge makes this an unequivocal OUT.

  • Christine Marie

    Umm. . . . It’s 2200 meets Southern Damsel. Which could be cool. But, in this case, isn’t. 

  • Larkin21

    So many awkward things about this dress. The hem is too long, the bust sits too low, and as much as I want to like the pockets, I just can’t. The necklace somehow looks sloppy too. I think this is an interesting look but ultimately unflattering. OUT.

  • sagecreek

    OUT for the Walmart nails. And the necklace is too long.

  • Boob pockets to catch those popcorn crumbs.
    And she looks very groggy.Out.

  • OUT – I don’t like anything going on here.

    That said – at least she brushed her hair this time, but she needs to chop off about eight inches.

  • AlexisPayne

    To much going on, and I really don’t like the make-up. Out.

  • formerlyAnon

    IN.  I like the dress so much I forgive the nails. Which depending on the occasion might be okay if they weren’t reflective – I can imagine nail art that would work with couture worn in a setting more fun than formal. (Whether I’ll ever see such nail art is doubtful, I admit.

    I like the necklace & earrings with the dress, they almost balance the heaviness of the skirt, but I wish that one of them – the earrings, for preference – were a tad smaller or less blingy.

    Love the shoes & love their use here.

  • Scarlet39

    I love the dress, but not on her, and not styled the way she is.  In the second pic, you can practically see the split ends on her hair.  Time for a trim!

  • Allyson Wells

    I’m gonna call this an IN, but I’m with you on the top-heavy jewelry. I think the necklace is perfect, but the earrings are a bit much. I would have taken a few inches off that hem as well.

  • Jenna621

    In on the engagement ring alone.  🙂  I like the look.  It’s a little odd but I think it’s meant to be so and she pulls it off.

  • imspinningaround

    I can’t believe I’m going to say this:  She needs MORE makeup.  That outfit is so severe that her au-naturel makeup look seems like she forgot to put her face on.  Pencil in the brows a bit, add a more powerful lip, maybe a sweep of kittenish eyeliner. 

    Do like those nails! 

  • Lori

    For being cranky do to food hangover T & Lo are being awfully nice to some bad outfits this morning. Which is admirably really. When I’m cranky I tend to be a nit-picky shrew.

  • DaveUWSNYC

    Too long, needs some color…out

  • In. She looks different and put together.

  • Karen Tully

    I think that if the ‘tangled’ necklace had actually been left tangled instead of tidied that it would have worked better.  The nail art is just tacky.

  • Call me Bee

    It’s an interesting dress with a real Vogue 1955 look to it.  But all the accessories, including her nails(!), are so matchy, matchy…I gotta say OUT.  She should have taken at least one piece off before she left the house, and did her nails like a normal person. 
    Like the shoes, though…

  • snarkykitten

    The only thing this dress needs to be paired with is fire.

  • IMNAngryLiberal

    Jessica Biel always seems as though she can’t decide whether she wants to be a “lady” or she wants to be a bad-ass and her outfits kind of end up being a little conflicted because of it.

  • Trisha26

    I can’t believe she matched her nails to her shoes. Sad. 

  • CYVH9000

    I get what they were going for: a futuristic, edgy take on the 50s Dior silhouette. I don’t think it’s working though…not with that jewelry and that hair. Somehow it doesn’t come together. I do love how the shoes and nails match…it’s a neat detail. 

  • Terri Smith

    Two things I hate: the fact her nails or trying to have the same design as her shoes, and the length of this dress.  She looks like a pink Christmas tree with feet.

  • boob pockets!

    • Dan_In_NYC

      My first thought, too!

  • A thought on the nail art: Hers looks like it’s a professionally done mani, not a DIY version that you see so often on Pinterest.

    There’s nothing wrong with a DIY mani, as long as you’re not appearing on a red carpet wearing thousands (probably tens of thousands) of dollars of borrowed clothing and jewelry. Plus, it’s not too overdone, with stripes and dots and a different pattern on each nail…

    In sum, I love it!

  • rissa42210

    OUTTTTTTTT.  I HATE this.  I completely agree with the comments that the dress is too long.  That is one of the worst hem lengths I’ve seen here.  Her makeup is underdone, her jewelry is over done, and her hair is blech.  BLECH.  I could tolerate the normal pockets, but what the hell is going on with those boobs cups?  I want to just plant little flowers in those like a window garden.  Also, it’s fitting her in a way that says “LOOK, LOOK AT MY LITTLE TINY WASTE AND HOW I AM SACRIFICING BREATH FOR YOUR VISUAL AMUSEMENT.”  No.  The shoes are fine.  I think the nail art is pretty.  But still, no.

    Also, she annoys me.

  • Hey, I wear orange eyeshadow — of course, I only do it for Bears’ games…

  • librarygrrl64

    OUT because of the length (should have been a few inches shorter; falls beautifully on the model), the accessorizing (those earrings OR that necklace, not together), and the manicure.

  • awful length

  • Out! There is nothing that I like here. And the nails, (oh the nails) make my eyes hurt especially when thinking she tried to mimic the look of the shoe on her fingers. Pfff.

  • TSkot

    Yeah, the fingernails are skanky, and I can agree that the necklace and earrings together are too much, nevertheless, the overall impression is gorgeous: IN

  • kimmeister

    Out, because: 1) boob pockets, 2) competing earrings and necklace, 3) I hate when necklaces rest inside of cleavage, and 4) squatty length.

    I am, however, intrigued by the model’s shoes.  Are those her toes?  Do the shoes have a “toe stop” at the tip?

  • Joyce VG

    I don’t know what it is about her but she makes me not like her for some reason.  Lovely girl great body but she is so meh to me.  I really don’t like the dress and the white pumps are wrong even though they have interest and the nail art makes her look trashy in couture.  OUT.

  • OUT. Wretched length and I hate the tit cups.

  • JuliaInBlack

    Bad length, overly jeweled, unflattering makeup.  Love the color.  Titty pockets.  OUT

  • Chop 6″ off the bottom and she’s good to go! Seriously, when are they going to stop putting 5′ tall actresses in dresses cut for 6′ tall models?! Couture is supposed to FIT. That’s the whole damned point.


  • Shoelover1512

    OUT. Can deal with the jewelry although it’s a little much but holy way too long dress! Looks horrible in that length

  • pookiesmom

    Oooh, I do not like this one bit. OUT.

  • crash1212

    IN…with a few reservations. This color is a dream on her and the hair is a vast improvement. I love this dress – LOVE – but it seems a bit off in her chestal region. Nail art should be banned – period. Love the jewelry and don’t mind that both earrings and necklace might be a bit much.  Shoes = meh. Good effort Jess!

  • annamow

    The hem length is all wrong… If it was shorter, I’d give her an in. This way, it’s a definite OUT for me.

  • Angel9125

    I hate everything about this look. Or maybe it’s just her I can’t stand… Either way: OUT!

  • TheOriginalLulu

    Nah, I don’t like it. It’s a little too princess-y and I don’t think it suits her. It’s making her ass look like the back of a Mack truck.

    I’ll never understand pockets on formal gowns/dresses like this. What’s she supposed to put in there? Her iphone? Her smokes? House keys? Lipstick and a comb? Oh, and I hate that necklace. And the shoes. Out, I say! OUT!!

  • aristida_girl

    IN, because she still looks pretty, but I have to say the boob pockets almost made it an out for me.

  • understateddiva

    Hate the seams, looks like an inside-out bridesmaid’s dress.

  • JimMcC

    As others have mentioned, the hem should/could be shorter. But I love this look overall. IN!

  • RebeccaKW

    I don’t think that pink is her color, the length is wrong (needs to be longer or shorter), I don’t hate the shoes with it, but they aren’t my favorite.  I love the necklace, but think she should have picked the earrings only.  She’s finally figured out the bangs are not her friend, but this hairstyle isn’t all that great, either.  The makeup is bad.


  • Ann

    Out! Out! Out! The fabric looks too heavy. The fit of the bodice seems off. She tried to match her nails to her shoes! How did this even get to an “In or Out” post?

  • PastryGoddess

    Those shoes are just ewww

  • deathandthestrawberry

    This looks like a really expensive bridesmaid’s dress to me. OUT. And whats the rule on matching one’s manicure to one’s shoes? I’m pretty sure that’s an automatic 3 point deduction.

    • death and the strawberry.  i live in strawberry, calif.  just had to tell you that.  

    • Snailstsichr

       I think you get to match your manicure to your shoes up until junior high school graduation. I’m pretty sure a kindergartner would look adorable with Hello Kitty shoes and nails.

  • quiltrx

    IN, because I like the dress and shoes so much.  I like the earrings but the necklace is too much.  And I don’t like her.

  • marilyn

    In.  The shoes are a nice suble contrast with the dress, without fighting it.  I am not crazy about any of the jewelry.  It should have been simpler.  But, overall, it is a nice summer look.

  • greyhoundgirl

    OUT too, too much.  Like the necklace better in it’s original off-center construction, the earrings and the necklace are fighting each other for attention, the dress is swallowing her up and looks so heavy that it’s going to slide slowly off of her boobs.

  • Awful dress, awful makeup, awful hair. BLECH

  • She looks great, but the details are weird. Her nail art is designed to match her shoes. That’s VERY weird.

    Still, it’s an In. Because pretty.

  • Not a fan of the boob pockets.

  • Vickiefantastico

    You know, if you wear a Grace Kelly dress, you’d better darn well look as gorgeous and timeless as she did. Jessica did not pull off the look. The necklace is much to heavy and the shoes are just odd. And while the hair is an improvement from before, it just does not go with this dress. OUT OUT OUT.

  • I’d say out.  Now if that hemline were about five inches shorter, and if her hair was up & back in some sort of chignon going for some sort of Neo-Princess Grace thing it would have gone much better for her.  And I agree heartily re jewelry & nail art.

  • Looks to me like the dress is sliding south. Maybe cut off a few inches on the bottom and let’s see the result.

  • BrightsideSusan

    Nail Art should not be found on any adult, couture or not.

  • elleg929


  • ballerinawithagun

    Out! Too many issues to even take the time.

  • kingderella

    its not a catastrophy or anything, but im gonna vote OUT, just because the looks not doing anything for me. that huge skirt is just too much, and i dont love her necklace and earrings. i do, however, like her hair, the ring, and, yes, her nails.

  • alyce1213

    OUT. How a pink strapless summer dress can look heavy and encumbering I don’t know, but it does.
    I hate the necklace with this dress, it’s totally unsuitable. The shoes are wrong; the nails are wrong.

  • Liking the IDEA of the dress, but the bodice is unfriendly to breastage. A necklace that’s more Betty Draper and less Duchess of Excess couldn’t hurt, and yes, the length is overwhelming.

  • opaque white and stainless steel.  she’s beating that theme to death with the shoes, clutch, manicure, necklace and earrings.  matchy matchy matchy.  i adore that dress with the big pockets and the interesting bodice seams.  it’s a bit too long, the length is better on the model.  but then jessica is no glamazon.  over all i give it a just barely in.

    that ring is FABULOUS.

  • Dagney

    the nails, oh sweetie noooooooooooo

  • OUT.

  • nancymae

    There is something quietly schizophrenic about this ensemble. OUT.

  • leftcoastpickle

    I wish I didn’t have such unreasonable distaste for Ms. Biel, because I love this dress, but I want someone I like to wear it. She will always be out to me. And of course, accessories all wrong, and she’s too short for this dress, I think. 

  • Out. The earrings make it heavy and I hate the length and the shoes. And the color. And the Pinterest nails.

  • margaret meyers

    The jewelry is all wrong.  As couture as this dress is, it is still a day look, and that jewelry is night look.  This is a very sophisticated look, but I feel like the dress is bordering on costume rather than wardrobe.

  • Charmella…a DIVA at large!

    Nail art? What nail art? I can’t get past that freakin’ blingtastic gift from Justin Timberlake! JK…….IN despite the shoes!

  • lehen

    out.  stumpified.

  • tereliz

    I love the cut of the dress (if not the length on Biel) but Jessica’s version is a little too bridesmaid-y. It’s definitely very ladylike and very Dior, but I think that’s what’s contributing to the wedding party vibe. OUT. 

    Her hair looks better than it has of late, at least. Those bangs were not doing her any favors. 

  • stagmania

    OUT. That dress is doing nothing for her figure.

  • AuntieAnonny

    I don’t care what you say, I LOVE that she matched her nails with the shoes. Love. The length bothers me, and I agree about the makeup, but I have to give this an–


  • Sunshine16

    So out!  Hate the whole thing: bad fit (that bodice is a boobstrocity), bad accessorizing, bad shoes, horrible length, etc, etc.

  • bluefish

    An IN for the dress … That kind of detail at the breast is typical of many of Marilyn Monroe’s looks.  I like it and I love the pale pink and the pockets.

    Also really like the shoes though best with something else.  Such a RELIEF to start seeing some more refined footwear finally on the red carpet.  And, yeah, nail art is tacky.

    Still, that dress alone deserves a yes vote.  Beautiful and chic.

  • jcolli69

    OUT. trying WAY too hard

  • CatherineRhodes


  • LesYeuxHiboux

    Gawd, that dress. It’s like a dream. A dream on a person I don’t really care for. The necklace is doing her no favors, and the eyeshadow has her looking sleep deprived. I feel like nail art matched to the shoes automatically goes to costume. Like she should be shimmying in a mod shift on the Star Trek set. 

  • sweetestsith

    Like the hair, love the necklace, like the dress, meh on the nails, and hate the shoes. So…tentative in? She looks great, I just don’t like a couple of the details. 

  • alwaysanswerc

    Her headsuit is much better, but the dress makes her look mad stumpy. OUT

  • Warmheartedgirl Seattle


  • StrandedFashionista

    I’ll give it an “IN” mostly because it’s RAF for DIOR. 

  • l_c_ann

    Out (and it’s not the dress’s fault)

  • OUT – Sorry, if I have to keep checking for joeys popping out of the tit pouches, the rest of the look just does not survive.

  • ChelseaNH

    She needs to ditch the necklace, hoist up the bodice and whack a few inches off the skirt.  So out.

  • If there were any more appropriate time to bust out a Mary Katrantzou dress…but i think I’d like the dress a whole lot more if it were some strong saturated color instead of this ugly faded pink.

  • SannyDee

    Out…too much jewelllery; just no to the white shoes which even the edgy toe can’t save; dress waaayy too long. Yup, def an out.

  • pattyw

    I’m sorry, was she wearing clothes with that ring/planetoid?

  • Jennifer Coleman

    I love this dress. I would’ve worn the opera gloves with it too.
    Unfortunately, it’s kind of wearing Jessica, not the other way around. She could’ve done with a stronger face and a hemming. The earrings are unnecessary, too.
    A line-call IN for me. 

  • jmorino08

    She is a hot, sexy, tall drink of water and that dress makes her look short and frumpy! The necklace is all wrong too. The hair and shoes are passable, but overall I give her an OUT!

  • OUT. Too many crazy things happening. She should have let the dress spoken for itself.

  • sockandaphone

    out. the dress length is awkward, totally wrong shoes for her, and wtf @ the accessories

  • In! Ditch the necklace, darken the eye, but those are quibbles. It’s rare to see her even come close to a Grace Kelly elegance.

  • Jessi03

    The shoes match her nails.  Out.

  • Out for the pockets on her boobs

  • Positively horrible.

  • 5HT

    In. I love the dress despite the unflattering length.

  • Fabulous. IN.

    (I agree with you about the nail art, though.)

  • She looks dumpy. Like it makes her look short. Just no. Out.

  • oatmealpie

    The nails match the shoes. That’s a bit much.

  • Susan Crawford

    Going with an OUT here, mostly on the following bases:
    1. The plastered-down hairdo
    2. The overabundance of (admittedly cool) jewels that really do nothing to enhance the beauty of this dress
    3. That terrifying blood-orange eyecolor; every time I see it on a star(let), my own eyes start hurting. Since when are irritated-looking eyes the in thing?
    4. Not saying that screaming red lips would be better, but a dab or two of a soft rose with some blue undertone would have sparked her up far more than those earrings.
    5. I honestly think the only way those shoes should be worn is with a pair of killer white or navy 40’s retro-style trousers and a sharp, crisp linen blazer. NOT with this dress.
    6. Those nails are just tacky. I mean, really tacky worn with couture. Great fun for a pool party or a brunch with the gal pals.

    This dress is absolutely my fave from the Fall12 collection – a gorgeous nod to New Look Dior, with a modern edge. It looks so simple, but it is tremendously sophisticated, and the runway version nailed that quality. If Ms. Biel had done a better hair and make-up job, omitted the jewelry altogether (or gone with a pair of South Sea pearl and diamond earrings – simple and in line with the retro-chic dress); if she had followed the runway lead and popped some color in her footwear . . . and Cutexed off that cray-cray nail art . . . ZOWIE!

    But she didn’t. So despite this amazing dress, despite her amazing figure, and despite that amazing dazzler of a ring, she’s OUT.

  • Sara__B

    I LOVE that dress! The styling is awful. OUT.

  • bellafigura1

    This is so out it hurts. I actually think this is the worst I’ve ever seen her. There’s so much to list, but first and worst, that critical three inches added length vs the runway look makes her look cut off at the knees. And is that a tag on the sole of her shoe? And did  she buy that so-2-years-ago necklace on the street (Fifth Avenue in the 20s, yo)? And is she seriously sporting tacky matchy nail art? And what the hell is wrong with the bodice? And the hair? No NO. Just no.

  • demidaemon

    I’m sorry, but the styling veers this dress into prom dress territory. Or maybe it’s just the dress. Anyhow, it’s OUT.


    Mostly well accessorized but I just CAN’T with that necklace or eyeshadow. And that length is terrible on her. OUT

  • NO. That dress is 3ft too long on her. It makes her look extremely short. 

  • yulaffin

    Out, it looks dowdy.

  • Anne Lucchesi

    Boob Fins!

  • L.

    The nails alone make this an OUT.  Love the dress, but it looks big on her. Love: dress, hair, makeup,earrings and the fact her skin is not orange.  Not nuts about the shoes, but they get a pass because they’re neither nude nor platforms.  Indifferent to the bag.  Hate the necklace and the nails, but are they enough to make this an out?  YES!

  • OUT. Nail art is always wrong. Nail art that matches the silver cowcatchers on the white pumps?? There are no words. Also the dress is weirdly heavy and long, the clutch match the nail art, and the hair is about to fall out from boredom. It’s just a surging sea of wrong. OUT. 

  • guest2visits

    This all looks pretty great to me; though I get what you’re saying about the necklace/earrings together.
    I think the nails work fine in this instance, the shoes too.

  • Amandeep Gill

    TLO, how did you miss this dress length issue?  She looks like she has the proportions of an Oompa Loompa.

  • PrunellaV

    I’ll give her an IN, but this look would be so much better on someone interesting. The dress has kind of a 50s vibe to it. Plus, you never know when you might need a boob pocket.

  • cleep1000


  • Super_Red

    I adore this from the waist up, but the overall impression is “Oh, sweetie, no!” So I’m gonna have to go with out. The awkward length + the weird flare thing it does at her hips tips the scales. 

  • elzatelzabelz

    I kind of think this is a “Girl, that is not your dress” piece. Because that, is NOT her dress. Her nail polish looks stupid on anyone over the age of 9.

  • Contralto

    OUT.  OUT.  OUT.  The dress makes her look dumpy, especially with the boob pockets – are those for her keys?!!  – and her manicure just makes her nails look dirty.

  • Out! Out! Out! She looks ridic!

  • frankystein123

    Hate the bulge and the length, OUT.

  • sunnycalif

    Prom 1965.  No, no and NO!

  • Imasewsure

    I think the dress is pretty and I don’t mind the details at all. I think she looks pretty (and I don’t even hate the nails since it’s one of the few ways that “sporty girls” can go safely glam). I think it’s the best she’s looked in ages…IN for me even with the competing jewelry

  • ccm800

    OUt – its matronly on her. 

  • OUT. The dress is too long for her and it makes her look like a midget. And I HATE the make-up.

  • PeaceBang

    OUT!!! As loud as I can yell it! SO OUT!

  • aeg66

    When the back shot reminds me of the prom scene from Pretty in Pink ya know its just OUT.

  • unbornfawn


  • Samantha Irene

    OUT – tit pockets.

  • BayTampaBay

    I think she looks great except for the the nail polish/nail art.  Love the necklace. IN! IN! IN!

  • MaryAtRealityTea

    OUT. the length is frumpy and killing me. GET A TAILOR YOU ARE WEARING DIOR! 

  • Out. Love the nails though.

  • Verascity

    Oof. No. Really? I deeply hate that dress on her. The manicure is great, the hair is good, everything else is a giant OUT.

  • I don’t like the way she dresses. It’s like she dresses for a different woman. She looks like an action star, and by all accounts sounds like a major tomboy. She could totally rock dark, edgier looks but she chooses these dresses that look like they belong on other starlets and make her seem like an impostor. Enh.

  • The proportions of the dress are off, namely, the length.  It looks much better on the model, because it’s just below the knee, not almost to the ankle.

  • piecesofconfetti

    OUT. I’m not convinced she’s pulling this off at all. And I feel the necklace is too heavy. 

  • KathKo

    Am I the only one horrified that she actually did match her nails with her shoes ?
    That’s just gross.
    And my thought seeing her in that dress was late 50’s prom.
    The boobs’ pocket are just silly.
    And, no, I don’t like her.

  • That dress should not be by her ankles. Ruined the whole look. OUT.

  • butterflysunita

    OUT.  That dress is awful on her.  

  • EEKstl

    OUT.  For the jewelry choices or nail art or white-shoes-with-pink-dress alone.

  • I loathe those pockets.

  • The dress isn’t so bad, but it’s all wrong on Biel. She a stunning woman with a gorgeous body, but she dresses wrong.

  • Maddie_Faddenoid

    I really like it. Any dress with pockets is a hit as far as I’m concerned.

  • melanie0866

    OUT. The boob pockets were the last straw for me.  And her make-up looks like she just got out of the pool, which is fine in a bikini but she needed a more polished face for this occasion.

  • fashionzombie

    haha! Pinterest!