Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Jennifer Garner

Posted on August 20, 2012

It’s not a dress at all, but the principle’s the same. Look, don’t start with us, okay? It’s Monday.


Jennifer Garner heads to the screening of her new movie “The Odd Life of Timothy Green” in NYC in a top and skirt by No. 21 paired with Yves Saint Laurent platform sandals.

No. 21 Top and Skirt

No. 21 Silk Shirt

No. 21 Slim Lace Skirt


We really love both of these pieces. But we’re fairly certain they simply don’t work any other way than the way they’re presented by the designer. In other words, that blouse was designed to be untucked and buttoned up. If you don’t do those two things, all the interest in the garment is lost. She should have gone down a size in the top (seriously, that thing is huge on her) and untuck it. It would have made for a more elegant line. As it is, she looks like she just got off the subway after putting in 9 hours at the office. And while we like that skirt, it does come off like something that’s not particularly easy to wear. At the very least, it’s not something that Jen is finding easy to wear, judging by these pics.

Honey, this is an interesting try, but it doesn’t seem to be in your wheelhouse. Box this up and ship it off to Chloe Sevigny. She’ll know what to do with it. And if she doesn’t, it’ll at least be hilarious.

[Photo Credit: Wagner Az,,]

    • rab01

      I don’t think that’s anyone’s dress.

      • MajorBedhead

        Yeah, me either. Certainly not anyone with legs bigger than toothpicks. This makes her look stocky and frumpy.

        • cleep1000

          Yes. Her legs look chunky, and they are not. This is about the fugliest thing I’ve seen in a while.

          • AnaRoW

            I think part of the reason her legs look chunky (besides the skirt, I mean) is that she hasn’t lost all of her baby weight yet. She’s still thin but not as thin as we’re used to seeing celebrities.

            I agree that either way, the outfit’s ugly.

            • mike__tv

              But to be fair she probably has lost most of the baby weight, and in real life probably looks tiny, maybe not alias fit but fitter than 99 % of people. When a thin person looks “chunky” shows just how distorted our size standards have become. 

      • Susan Velazquez


      • blue

        I was just about to type up the EXACT same comment.

      • BrooklynBomber

        No, it’s definitely not.

      • kikisayshi

         My thoughts exactly. When I saw the first pic I thought, “What the hell is that thing?” I couldn’t even tell if it was a dress/shirt/separates. Just ugh.

      • Mary Stone

         completely agree, it’s expensive Wal-mart fashion.  The mermaid tail sheer overlay trend needs to die.  NOW.

      • librarygrrl64

        I was just about to type that. 

    • WendyD

      I wore something similar to a jr high school dance in about 1992. Oversized shirt with lace and skirt with unnecessary sheerness? That was barely a look 20 years ago, it belongs on no one now.

      • pax540

        My first thought was “Hello 90’s, I didn’t expect nor do I want to see you again so soon!” Also, the voluminous sleeves made me think of the Seinfeld Pirate shirt. Not a good look on anyone.

    • Rand Ortega

      The top is lovely. Just saw it in the September Elle. That skirt is whack. Proportion, style, everything about it– fu-hug!

    • Violina23

      When an outfit makes a known skinny starlet look chubby, that’s an automatic “OUT” for me.

      Oooh, new disqus interface…

      • MajorBedhead

        Yeah. I don’t like the new interface any better than I like the outfit.

        • Sobaika

          I thought it was my computer not loading correctly or something. It’s a bit jarring but I guess we’ll get used to it. I hate that ‘New Comment’ bar that pops up though.

          • MilaXX

            it reminds me of twitter

        • MilaXX

          My OCD pretty much always hates change to the forums I visit, but I think I may like this once I get used to it.

          • Violina23

            Yeah, me too. It’s like any time facebook changes their format. Everyone bitches and then they get used to it… just in time to bitch about the NEXT change ;)

            • MilaXX

              Now facebook is a different story. There chance are often not user friendly and they have a bad habit of change security settings without setting you know. I Still hate the new timeline with a vengeance.

            • Violina23

              Good point re: security! But for the mostly aesthetic things, people tend to get over it pretty quickly. Timeline annoys me with content bopping from side to side, but I mostly find it inoffensive. In a lot of ways, I prefer Google+, but unfortunately only my geeky friends actively use it.

            • MilaXX

              I don’t really like google+ I have it and have to make myself go check it once a week. It’s like “Isn’t this facebook without the ever changing timelines/wall?”

            • MajorBedhead

              I just liked the little pink number that would pop up to tell me someone had commented on something I posted. Made me feel all special ‘n’ shit.

            • Violina23

              You ARE special! Don’t let anyone tell you anything else ;-)

          • Sobaika

            Can someone explain this new interface? Can we not sort comments oldest/newest anymore? The ordering seems random right now. And what’s that stars thing at the top right?

            I don’t do well with change.

            • Kriky

              You can still sort if you click on Discussion. And now it’s upvotes and downvotes instead of Likes so it’s more like reddit, I guess.

            • Sobaika

              Bless you. I think the stars thing is us ‘liking’ TLo’s actual post. I think.

            • MilaXX

              Oh I hadn’t figured out the stars yet. I found the sort for oldest vs newest post and notifications are easier since it’s hit or miss if I actually get them sent to my email

            • Kriky

              I was wondering about that! Thank you.

      • Anathema_Device

        What’s weird is that I’m reading this on my iPad, and I’m still seeing the old interface.

    • jenuwefa

      I hate her hair.

    • Jessica | Surely Sonsy

      my face was frozen in a grimace for this entire post.

    • MilaXX

      Holy Upgrade Batman!

      Okay, the outfit. I think it’s fugly, but it could work on someone under 25 and a size zero. Jen, while very pretty is neither of those things.

    • clatie

      Dear Jennifer Garner:

      FIRE YOUR STYLIST.  She/he hates you.

    • Linda Harris

      her hair looks like shit, too

    • formerlyAnon

      I am not sure that is anyone’s skirt. It looks awkward on the model, and she’s not walking in it. The lace detailing (faux yoke?) on the shirt cheapens the lovely drape of the silk shirt, IMO, but I may be judging harshly given my love a pristine silk shirt.

    • Kathy Marlow

      she needs to go all “Elektra” on who selected this outfit…she looks terrible!

    • Sobaika

      The skirt and top do not belong together. Both need to be paired with sleeker items.

    • mhleta

      I wore this in the 80s except the bottoms were pleated linen shorts and I had Stiff Stuff in my hair. Our poor girl is lost and she looks so uncomfortable. Let’s hope she finds her way back soon. Did Rachel Zoe do this to her? The two of them must have post-baby mush brain and need intervention.

      • MilaXX

        Except Rachel’s kid is what 13, 14 months old? Jen’s baby I believe is still under 6mths and that may be part of the challenge in dressing her for the movie promotion.

      • Spicytomato1

        I know, my first thought was 80s, too. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing but poor Jennifer looks mighty unhappy. I’m sure she was so happy when she got home and was able to change into jeans and a t-shirt and exorcise the demons of this ensemble once and for all.

    • formerlyAnon

      P.S. Think I love the new format of the comments section. It must be an improvement; I rarely have immediate positive feelings for any kind of change.

    • miagain

      Oh Jennifer… no

    • Susi R

      It looks like something Kim Kardashian would squeeze herself into.

    • AngelaGreen

      I have watched 13 Going on 30 probably ten times in the past month (it’s easy to sleep to and I’m getting over bronchitis) and I can say from the heart: try again Jenna Rink.

      • emcat8

        Plus Mark Ruffalo is so effing adorkable. I love that movie, I’m not ashamed to admit.

    • Larkin21

      Wow, very unflattering. I don’t like either piece and can’t really imagine anyone making them work.

    • 3boysful

      I am afraid that unless the unfortunate wearer of this outfit were 6′ tall and a size 2 (in which case she might be fortunate), this outfit as presented on the model would cause her to receive the question “When are you due?”

      And the sheer mudflap looks ridiculous.

      And you can’t tell me those are Jennifer’s lips, either,

    • AmeliaEve

      Did she fall asleep and wake up in a blouse from 1989? And then put wear a slip that is longer than her skirt? This whole outfit has me puzzled. Ugh. I agree, not anyone’s dress.

    • BazoDee

      Possibly a belt could save this (as styled per the runway) but even then -I just don’t think this works for anyone.

    • Dixie Murphy Ross

      I won’t lie – that very first picture made me laugh out loud. I totally get that moment, the “oh geez, did I get out of the car without flashing girlwang? And I can feel it riding up in the back…” but the expression on her face is LOLARIOUS.

      • TieDye64

        I had the same reaction. My (unintentional) laugh of the day.

    • Meg Burgess

      That top photo has to be the most unflattering photo of anyone, ever.

    • Susan Rappenwolf

      Outfit: not so hot. But that first picture…my, my. Sort of Brigitte Bardot with the strands across her face and her mouth with the open pout.

    • ojosazules

      That outfit looks like it got splattered on her by a passing car. The look on her face is, ” Mummie made me wear it!”

    • cocohall

      The same top with a great black pant would have been chic.  But I agree with TLo – the top needs to be worn untucked.  I’m thinking she is nursing and wearing oversized tops to accommodate that fact.  You can change sizes from one hour to the next depending on when you last nursed/pumped.  Poor girl having to deal with a movie premiere, but still.  

    • Amy Ellinger

      My Texas-Belle Granny taught me to always try to find SOMEthing to compliment in every person, because nobody is completely bad. And so, regarding this outfit- Her skin is gloriously beautiful.

    • SapphoPoet

      Did she forget to rinse out her conditioner? That’s the limpest, flatest hair I’ve ever seen.

      Also, I don’t think that’s anyone’s dress. The proportions seem totally off and the black design on the top looks like a gun holster.

    • MandyJane

      I like the top, but the skirt is awful.

    • teensmom99

      Why is the blouse unbuttoned, you may ask .. . because it’s not winter or fall and it’s hot.

    • UglyCasanova

      Look at all the people in the background who don’t give a shit.

    • Clydette Wantland

      That is one ugly skirt. Not flattering at all!

    • Lucía Valencia

      I LOATHE those two pieces, together and separately. I’m specially puzzled that we’re talking about an outfit that almost hits the $2000 dollar mark, yet it looks like something from the reject pile at Salvation Army.

    • SignLadyB

      That is just a totally odd combination both on Jennifer and on the model. And in the first pic (outside the car) she looks all of 13 years old in something she pulled out of the dress up box.

    • Lilithcat

      Sheer black hose would have helped a lot.

      ETA: What the HELL happened to the comments section? It looks completely weird.

      • Susan Crawford

        Something is going on with DISQUS, apparently. The Twitterverse was all over this situation tonight. Things seem back to normal – whatever “normal” is on the fractious and often downright nasty DISQUS scene.

        • sleah_in_norcal

          i’ve been having trouble too, not getting my reply notifications since august 2.  it’s my lifeblood, help!

          • Susan Crawford

            Have you checked out the DISQUS website for help and possible solutions? Also, you can follow @discus on Twitter, if you’re a tweetie-bird – you can report problems through Twitter and get rapid replies. Like you, I would be lost without the ability to be part of the Tom and Lorenzo conversation, so let’s hope your problem is resolved!

    • CPK1

      I just don’t get that somebody would consider all the myriad designer options at their fingertips as J Garner’s stylist and then pick this

    • Vera

      The outfit looks sloppy, and her hair is awful. Oh, and the mullet skirt/dress fad can’t die soon enough.

    • crash1212

      Seems like she should’ve downsized the top (and left it un-tucked) and gone up a size in the skirt – might’ve cut down on the ride-up factor. Her hair is pretty any shiny.

    • VRuss

      I will cut Jen some slack… She gave birth to her third child a few months ago and by the looks of her body, she must still be breastfeeding. That being said, this outfit looks horrible on her! The shirt is way to big and it looks like it has shoulder pads… What the F?!?!?!?! Looks like the kind of clothes I wore in the 80s.

      Definetly snot your dress, Jen. *thumbs down*

    • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

      black lace + sheer. that is not a dress, that is a mourning veil.

    • prettybigkitty

      Love the outfit in theory. It just doesn’t quite work in execution. Her hair and make-up look super cute!

    • BrooklynBomber

      That first picture says it all.

      • sleah_in_norcal

        caption for the first picture:  you expect me to walk around in this getup?  okay, but you’ll see, i’m gonna look like an ass.

    • Susan Crawford

      I guess she was really not ready at all for the step-and-pose in that first picture. Or else she was caught doing her best Courtney Love expression.

      I don’t have much love for either of these pieces – this is wildly unflattering and frankly, a tad bit cracktastic. But that’s just me after a sort of blah day. On the other hand, by the third picture, Ms. Garner’s amazing smile and dimples made up for the outfit. It’s always a treat to see that smile.

    • boweryboy

      The sad thing is in the 6th photo down the woman in the background wearing the yellow and white check dress and wedge sandal looks way more chic and savvy than Jen.

      What a sad, sad, sad little outfit.

    • guest2visits

      I appreciate that she’s trying something less ‘sweet’ and more unusual then her standard; but this is an ugly top and bottom.
      It doesn’t look any better on the model. Sloppy and dreary.

    • GTrain

      A mess, from head to toe.

    • sleah_in_norcal

      OMG jennifer, no.  this is one of the worst things i’ve seen in a long time.

    • margaret meyers

      This does need a model’s figure to look right, but it is also a very young look. 

    • Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      Oh Jenny, no. I expected better from you. 

    • Rachel Council

      I actually think Michelle Williams could rock this look. Untucked, of course. 

    • leave_Blake_alone

      Hmm, I think she looks hot as shit here.

    • Lauren Lynch Fox

      She looks very uncomfortable in her clothes and she is such a lovely girl, she needs a new stylist.

    • Tanya Edwards

      Is she still working with Rachel Zoe? Cause, UGH.

    • Nikki

      ISn’t Rachel Zoe her stylist? I can’t help but think this every time we see her come up on TLo lately… eeeep!

    • PeaceBang

      Just seeing this horrible ensemble is taking me back to 1986 therapy issues. I hope I don’t start shoplifting again to compensate for losing my father at such a young age.