Christina Aguilera in Torn by Ronny Kobo

Posted on August 13, 2012

All things considered (like: Christina Aguilera) this isn’t all that bad, except for one item. Can sharp-eyed kittens guess what it is?


Christina Aguilera attends the NBCUniversal’s ‘The Voice’ Press Junket and cocktail reception in Los Angeles in a Torn by Ronny Kobo dress paired with an A.L.C. jacket and Christian Louboutin shoes. Jewelry by Lorrie Rodkin and Erickson Beamon.

Torn by Ronny Kobo ‘Sammy’ Dress. A.L.C. Contrast-trim Leather Jacket. Christian Louboutin ‘Daffodil’ Pumps.

It’s the tights, kittens.

Honey, if the dress is too short or too tight for you, putting on a shiny pair of tights isn’t going to rectify that. In other words, if you don’t like the way your legs look in that dress, DON’T WEAR THAT DRESS. At least we’re assuming she didn’t like the way her legs looked. It’s the only thing that could explain why she deployed those godawful tights. Should’ve gone for the sheer black hose, Cathy Cambridge-style. Sure, it probably would have looked a little mature, but it’s better than looking like you have no idea how to dress, amirite?

How is is that her face looks airbrushed all the time now?


[Photo Credit: Christopher Polk/Getty Images,,,]

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  • frappefest

    Loving Mint Green Dude chilling in the back.

    • BazoDee

      Ahm -That’s Cee Lo Green. 

      • MzzPants

        He’s green alright.

      • Maybe should be Sea Low Green? And aren’t his shoes matchy-matchy?

      • kikisayshi

         Cee Lo in sea green.

      • Miranda Loeber

        More like Sea-Foam Green, amirite?

    • mshesterp

      You have to love Cee-Lo’s shoes perfectly matching his outfit.  That is a color unknown in nature.

    • Cee Lo is such a treasure.  I so enjoy his color coordinating outfits and weird, blinged out accessories.  Didn’t he even bring his cat on multiple episodes of The Voice?  I seem to remember that being the case.  Never change, Cee Lo, never change. 

      • Sobaika

        That was the best. Him, stroking that fluffy ass cat, in a ridiculous monochrome outfit, opining on why singers weren’t chosen.

      • kimmeister

        Yes, whenever they cut to a private interview with him, he is stroking a glorious white Persian kitty.  Love it.

        • RJay

          I read it’s a rented kitty.

    • janetjb

      Cee Lo looks perfectly cool, although maybe under dressed for the occasion?

      • EveEve

        Under dressed in dtm suede loafers?  Nevah!

        She looks like she’s had a lot of work done recently. And by work, I mean plastic.

  • Lilithcat

    One?   That’s all?

    • Right! Her whole outfit is a complete fail.

  • VicksieDo

    I also have an issue with ALL those layers of warm clothing in August.  And that she’s still a bitch.  LOL

  • mshesterp

    I thought you were going to say the purple extensions.  She has perfected the perma-tan drag queen look.  She doesn’t look real…not a wrinkle or flaw underneath all that pancake makeup.  At least Britney looks, you know…like a real person.  

    Dress looks cute, rack looks great.  

  • huh. her face looks… different?

    the purple hair is ok, but the platinum blond/orange glow combo still isnt working.

    the look is just alright… which means its better than usual.

    • TropiCarla

      Somehow, mysterious as it may be, her face is beginning to resemble post-surgery Lil’ Kim. I am flabbergasted by this.

    • letter_M

      yeah I thought her face looked “different” in the last season of “the voice”, but I attributed it to her weight loss.  now I am thinking it’s something else.

  • TheOriginalLulu

    I thought it was either the AWFUL hair or the Jolly Green Cee Lo standing beside her. 

  • rissa42210

    Oh, you two are being very generous.  She looks awful.  Aside from your comments, those shoes are uninspired, the dress is 90’s in a bad way, her jacket is too tight, her acrylic nails are tacky, just like those hoop earrings, her hair is looking haggard, and her face is painted beyond recognition.  She needs herself a stylist who can break through the diva to make her hear that this look is not working for her (or anyone) any more.  Time to let go and update!

    • Vickiefantastico

      Very generous indeed. She’s become the person that other women see, shake their heads, and look away out of embarrassment for her.

      • rissa42210

        It makes me sad!  She’s so beautiful!

        • bitchybitchybitchy

          She could be stunning and stylish, but she seems to be wedded to this version of herself that is very close to becoming a caricature.

        • I agree – she’s so pretty, and has an amazing voice (unlike most of her contemporaries ie Britney).  Sadly, she now very much resembles the women who shopped at the shitty mall near where I used to live in inland SoCal (Montclair Plaza for those of you in the know).

          My guess was the giant ring or the orange fingernails. But you boys are right, the footless tights trump both of these.

          • She has a good voice, but her singing “style” is terrible. She spends more time improvising than singing words… 🙁

          • Point taken!

    • Agree 100%.  Even if I were in a charitable mood (which I am NOT — it’s Monday after vacation and the Olympics are over), this would be BAD.  Homegirl needs help. 

    • Tamara Hogan

      She really needs a fashion intervention. STAT.

  • NDC_IPCentral

    Cute dress, too tight on Ms. Aguilera.  Everything else, tacky, tacky, tacky.  What gives with the right sleeve of that jacket?

    Did I mention “tacky?”

    • BrooklynBomber

      It’s not the sleeve–it’s the green hornet’s hand on her waist.

    • Is that a sheer inner elbow patch?

  • Sobaika

    She must need a wood buffering machine to get all that makeup off.

    • DeborahJozayt

      Milwaukee 6021-21 Random Orbit Palm Sander with dust collection bag.

  • schadenfreudelicious

    it must be a lot of work to maintain that unatural orange hued skin tone so evenly!

    • MoHub

       Just ask Michael Kors.

      • schadenfreudelicious

        LOL, touche!

  • BazoDee

    Wait -lets talk about the fact that Blake’s face is missing and Adam is relegated to a hand on Cee Lo’s shoulder. 
    I love the dress but it is not one she should be wearing. And I think I’d take tights over stockings in this situation, for this occasion. 

    And seriously with the airbrushed look -I thought I was the only one noticing. 

    • I think she looks like a wax figurine from Madame Taussade’s (or however you spell that).

  • SewingSiren

    Vacuum packed.

  • alyce1213

    Also skin tone and toe cleavage.  Otherwise, not that bad — for her, that is.  Everything is relative.

    • kimmeister

      Yes, copious amounts of toe cleavage!!!

  • tereliz

    Eh. Sheer black tights wouldn’t have been “edgy” enough for Xtina, methinks. I have matte footless tights and thick leggings, which I wear, not because I don’t like the way my legs look, but because a few of my dresses are a little to short to feel comfortable in all day. But the shiny, lycra spandex options only draw more attention to the leg. Maybe that’s what she was going for y’all. 😉 Give the girl the benefit of the doubt.

    • RebeccaKW

       Yes, I too wear matte black leggins with a few dresses that I just feel are a bit too short to wear to work.  Dear god, I hope  don’t look like this when I wear mine.

      • kmk05

         I wear those too! As long as we all don’t have our hair bleached to the end of the earth, our skins this shade of orange, and not that make-up artist on speed dial, I’m thinking we should pass muster 😀

        • RebeccaKW

          Well, the fact that I wear them with a dress and not an extra long tank top makes a difference, too, I think.

          It’s a cute dress, but it’s way too tight on her.  I wonder if the jacket is b/c she couldn’t zip it up all the way.

          • kmk05

             I do both extra long tank top and dresses, but they’re usually a little more slouchy.

            Ha, I think this is one of those slip-on dresses! The material looks way too stretched over her chest, like a too tight t-shirt. You can see the white weave under the stretched black: I think that should have been a sign that she should have gone a size up.

      • tereliz

        LOL, what kmk05 said!

  • Oh sweet baby Jesus. Someone help her, please.

  • She looks permanently airbrushed because she’s wearing 10 pounds of makeup. I would have said that she needed to get rid of the lavender extensions, but yes, the tights need to go too, and the dress up a size to be “passable.” But even in this state, it’s an improvement from what she normally wears.

  • call_me_schmeg

    listen, we’ve all passed out with our makeup on before. i want to know what HER pillow looks when it happens. oh xtina, this forever 21 jersey shore version of you makes me harken back to the days of your cheap marilyn impression.

    • RebeccaKW

       You know she doesn’t sleep on her stomach or side.  That would cause wrinkles!

    • Wouldn’t it be creepy if it was pristine?  Turns out it’s not make-up, but instead a result of wearing so much make-up over the years that the weight and pressure actually caused the lower layers to permanently bond with her skin, like rock layers…

  • She is so pretty, I don’t understand why she globs on the tanner and makeup, wacks out her hair and wears clothing that is 4 times too small for her.  

    It really is a shame.  

  • Call me Bee

    She’s taking way too many lessons from the Kardashians.  Or Snooki. 

  • belfebe

    Love the jacket.  Hate the tights. Hate the shoes with that getup. Hate the hair. Love the dress.  She needed a larger size.  Her makeup is awful.  There you are.

  • MK03

    Damn it, Kors! You gave her the name of your tan dealer, didn’t you??

  • I get how if a woman can’t close a jacket at her bust the jacket can still work.   But when you can’t close the jacket at the waist it’s time to get a bigger jacket.  The whole outfit looks like she went dumpster diving in the alley behind Cher’s house fifteen years ago.

    •  Unless you’re pregnant — I would like to add that, because I didn’t buy new jackets while pregnant, I just wore them open over maternity tops.  Because good jackets are expensive, and I don’t want to pay that much for something I won’t wear for more than a few months.

  • MzzPants

    Christina!  Run ’til those tights catch on fire!  There’s a giant mint candy ’bout to gobble you up!

  • This is Christina, so grading on the curve is a given – but I think she looks good here.  Would I love to see her less blonde with a more natural skin tone? Of course.  But that’s not gonna happen, so I’ll just be grateful she stepped away from the red lipstick and found a more attractive silhouette.

    • MilaXX

       Honestly if she didn’t have the tights on I would give the rest of the look a pass.

  • DaveUWSNYC

    Geez. She’s giving face…Malibu Barbie face.

  • l v

    How has her hair not fallen out yet?? It makes my roots hurt just thinking of the mass amounts of bleach that must be used every other week just to maintain that insanity.

  • Little_Olive

    Her face?

  • She looks like an Oompa Loompa with a gift certificate to Forever 21.

  • nannypoo

    She looks skanky but Cee Lo looks adorable.

    • I don’t know, a little too Jolly Mint Green Giant for my tastes

      • nannypoo

        Well, and maybe his shoes are too matchy. 

  • IAmJ

    Also: toe cleavage.

  • miagain

    oh please… it’s all wrong, all horrible, all too tight, all too cheap, all too yuck!

  • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

    she looks like the spokesmodel for both orange and grape soda.

  • Scarlet39

    She needs an intervention. 

  • elleg929

    I would start with taking off the oompa-loompa spray tan.

  • JuliaInBlack

    ZOMG I guessed tights.  Ridiculously proud of myself.

    Homegirl here is in dire need of a makeUNDER.

  • AthenaJ

    Oh God, she’s become blonde Snooki!!

    • Judih1

      You’re right – blonde Snooki

  • MilaXX

    She needs to either go up a size or wear a different dress. On the positive side, she appears to have turned down the dial on the makeup gun.

  • BarbaraNovak

    Hmmm…at least you showed the best parts of Blake.

  • holdmewhileimnaked

    i usually have some sympathy for this one & all her public misery & problems but today is so hot, so very very hot, that the only nerves i have left belong to a total crab. as per my first comment is that if she’s in LA she should not be wearing stockings of any sort whatsoever & nor should anybody else–unless required by his or her employer.

    three guesses, all of equal value:
    1/ she just had dermabrasion. if you have an extensive amount you like like this for a week or so, before yr scars resurface, or
    2/ some sort of synthetic fillers, or
    3/ a wax-fill, but that’s an old technique. i’m not even sure they still do it.
    over all of it, of course, she’s been as airbrushed as if she were a submarine & needed to be paint-fast through not only all sorts of weather but beneath the ocean [salt+water]. okay.

    i think what’s really wrong w/ the tights is their footlessness. she’s not so young that she shouldnt know wearing those idiot things is one of the most stumpifying things you can do to yrself. if she’d worn footed tights she’d look better than if she wore black pantyhose. black pantyhose look really desperate. but what she really shouldnt have done is wear a dress that looks hideous on her–under, of course, a jacket that cannot zip. & as much as i may be fond of these myself–& i am. if i didnt wear jackets this way i would probably not wear jackets–there is a rule as to how you wear them. the bust need not but the waist must fit. elsewise one just looks as if one is wearing someone’s child’s clothes as per the abovenoted.

    i’m gonna go take a nap. dont be jealous–it’s only so i can work from around 7pm through noon next day. i guess i do get to avoid the worst of the heat but at a certain weary weary price.

    • formerlyAnon

      “airbrushed as if she were a submarine & needed to be paint-fast”

      It is sad that cannot imagine a way to work this into conversation. 

  • Bridget Dierks

    What happened to her face?!?  Did I miss something here, or did her whole face change recently?

  • janetjb

    Lose the jacket and tights.

    Also, clean the orange stuff off her face and color her hair somewhat close to natural.

  • … maybe because it IS actually airbrushed? 
    They all live in a world that I’m so far removed from I can’t even.

  • granddelusion

    Only one?

  • My guess about the one thing that’s wrong is that Christina AckI’llscareya is in the picture.  This photonegative Snooki always looks like a cheap ho-bag w/ fried hair (new & improved with purple!) no matter what she wears.  She seems to be constantly working on her stockpile of the old-time tan in a bottle that turned skin orange (she’s probably got a basement closet full of it).  Being so frugal is why she never spends money to make her hair look like it belongs to a human.  Rational hatred.

  • mjude

    i think she is so pretty that i just do get her looks these days. 

  • kmk05

    I feel bad saying this, but this is how I sometimes dress (except for the heels): a patterned tunic with black leggings and high boots, and a leather jacket. In London, at least, this really is a common sight (not so much in July, though). I think it’s the 3 kgs of make-up on top of the spray tan that make this go into slightly skanky territory.

    That or I have no taste and must rethink my clothing habits right now -.-

  • Aww…  The tights were what jumped out at me (cuts her proportions terribly), but I second guessed myself.  I thought for sure you were going to harp on the toe cleavage instead.

  • Oh, the tops of all those toes showing in those pumps!!!!

  • For real question here. It makes me sad that you guys don’t like leggings and dresses. I wear that combo all the time. What exactly are you supposed to wear leggings with? I won’t do it with a long shirt, because LEGGINGS AREN’T PANTS

    • kmk05

      I totally do it with long t-shirts! As long as the legging are opaque and aren’t actually thick tights. I pair them with boots, my coat, and off I go! (this, obviously, starting end of September or whenever it starts getting colder). You should give it a try.

      •  Even very opaque tights are a bit see-through on me. I am booty-licious.

        • kmk05

          Bootylicious is the way to go 😀

          I just get the leggings at H&M or Topshop, which are not tights. Tights are always slightly see-through on me too, no matter what it says on the front of the package. They’re also a little bit shiny, which tends to make me look like Xtina up there.

  • Ha ha tights. Second guess was going to be toe-knuckle shoes; so much toe cleavage. Third guess was standing next to C-Lo who’s in head to toe “C-foam” green. In total, a poisoned feast for my eyes.

    • MarinaCat

      C-foam green. I am dying.

  • turtleemily

    She looks great in that photo next to Cee Lo, who appears to be wearing his coordinated slippers and pajamas.

  • frannyprof

    Stank crotch with those tights, stank pits with the jacket, and stank scalp with that hair. It’s August in L.A., for Chrissake.

  • She sure has a knack for looking trashy.

    • PinkLemon

       Have you seen her ring collection? There was an editorial shot in her closet once, it was ATROCIOUS.

  • UGH. I like her nails?

    Also, Cee-Lo is ridiculous.

  • PeaceBang

    What’s wrong? Everything. Everything is wrong.

  • marilyn

     She needs to find a new look.  She is too old and fat for that one, tights or no.  Purple hair, leather jacket, tight short dress, nails matching insold of shoe, too much jewelry, and the list goes on and on.  This is too bad, because she has a spectacular voice.  She needs to find a new image.

  • Trisha26

    Forget the tights (which I call leggings) – does she actually not know how she comes across? Seriously?

  • Dr. Derf van der Derf

    I was going to go with the orange skin as being the wrong thing.

  • I thought maybe it was the toe cleavage…

  • MarinaCat

    The same thought bubble is always over my head when I see her: She’s a pretty girl who puts a lot of effort into looking…rather ugly.

  • Judy_J

    When I saw the photo, I said “Tights” out loud.  The jacket is pretty bad, too.

  • She looks like she might be competing against Michael Kors in the Prince/Princess of Orange Sweepstakes. Such a pretty girl, why does she always look like she steals her clothing from the laundromat when no one is looking?

  • crash1212

    Huh. I thought you would say the one thing she needed to take off was that awful spray tan.

  • My, my, she is rather pneumatic, isn’t she? 

  • AnneElliot

    ONLY the tights?  what about the troweled-on makeup up and the tacky ring?  I won’t even mention the shoes.  I so hate the Bride of Frankenstein trend.  

  • Christina, why do you insist on dressing like a Barbie come to life?

  • bitchybitchybitchy

    I cannot get past the heavy handed spray tan-it’s as if she got it done by the same shop that Ms. Clinique Counter frequents.

  • GTrain

    Still looking like she’s about to pop. She should go up at least one size in everything but her shoes.

  • bellafigura1

    Cripes, if that last photo isn’t the very definition of “a vacant look,” I don’t know what is. 

  • Those leggings look like she wore them camping a hundred times and never washed them. They are very maternity clearance section at Ross. 

  • glennethph

    I kinda love that they’re using Cee-Lo’s bulk to keep her and Adam away from each other.  And it’s not just me, right?  She’s getting wider and wider.

    • holdmewhileimnaked

      she’s lost weight lately. either that or she has better undergarments. but if this was taken in LA w/in the last couple weeks she wouldnt be able to wear extraordinary underthings w/o fainting. it’s been that hot. then again, she’s wearing the jacket as a kind of attempt to minimizer. still, a jacket is not a full body double spanxing.

  • margaret meyers

    Mae West for the 21st Century. 

  • emily mcginnis

    she could be so beautiful. 🙁 

  • YayaGurl

    Does “everything” count as just one?

  • understateddiva

    I would do tights instead of leggings if I forgot to shave…

  • guest2visits

    She’s looking like anime. There’s so much that doesn’t look quite real about her.  The jacket’s cute.

  • tinyredlocks

    Well, she’s looked worse…

  • I quite like the tights, but I like that kind of look. The post modern tunic and leggings look seems rocker appropriate.  The hideous purple bits OTOH…

  • one word.  cankles.  i rest my case.

  • BrooklynBomber

    No, no it IS that bad! It’s either a living monument to bad taste or a cry for help. Maybe both.

  • quiltrx

    Her feet kind of look like pickled pigs’ feet crammed into those shoes.  And being able to see EACH toe cleavage isn’t helping anything.

    And honestly, I thought it was her doo-doo brown head/neck makeup that was the faulty item here. 🙂

  • ccm800

    If Kim Kardashian and Snookie somehow spawned…

  • redgauntlet

    What gigantic tits this lady has. How I’d like to place my head between them and go wibble-wobble-wibble-wobble-wibble-wobble-wibble-wobble-wibble-wobble.

    • Amy Ennis

      Lol. My husband says the same thing. Don’t get me started about what he says about her lips! Lol. 

      • redgauntlet

        Wow – comment removed. But it was harmless.

  • aeg66

    One item??? Put down the damn cocktails or drink more but either way its waaaay more than one.

  • RJay

    I was going to guess the platypus nails.

  • RzYoung

    Her face is contoured to hell and back

  • That dress is really neat and I could have overlooked the tights. What I will never be able to overlook is that godawful makeup. Girl desperately needs a turn on snog, marry, avoid for a make-under.

  • Susan Crawford

    I’m OK with the dress and jacket. Even the tights and huge platforms are OK. I don’t mind the fried hair or the lavender dip-dye effect. I really love the ring, and the neon nails are fine with me.

    But the make-up! Please, someone, somewhere STOP this girl! Surely there must be a twelve-step program for the maquillage-addicted. She is poweless before her addiction, and needs an intervention.

  • Honey, can you arch your back a bit more to make your chest look bigger. Now add an industrial strength bra to push the puppies higher and higher. If you are going to show up your assets to this extent, please make sure spray tan covers your neck and chest.
    Oy. She looks like a cartoon.

  • blumonky

    Jeez, and I thought it was that her eyeshadow matches her hair tips…

  • Every time I see this women a word that starts with the letter C comes to mind. CANNOT stand her… /rant. She just looks so fake.

  • Too much makeup and I hate those clodhoppers on her feet. In light of those two issues, the tights don’t seem so bad, no? 

  • southernpeach

    I thought it was going to be that that jacket would never be able to close.

  • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

    I just want to take her and shake her, throw her in the shower to wash all that makeup and orange tan off her, and teach her how to dress her body.  She’s got a slamming bod, really, if she would just wear the right size.  This too tight too short too ugly dress, with a too small jacket and really incredibly ugly shoes, is pitiful.  Then adding the leggings – what a crime.  Her hair needs to be darkened and she needs lessons on how to have her makeup applied so that she doesn’t look like a drag queen.  Sheesh, girl, wake up!

  • Scoobydrew

    She has superhero hair which i kinda dig

  • formerlyAnon

    I know she’s petite and wants to be taller and they are in style and expensive and all, but those shoes are ugly.

  • formerlyAnon

    Also: I don’t know what world these young women (she is an extreme case but not at all alone) live in that this looks normal to them, or at least *desirable/fashionable/attractive.*  Everyone judges ‘normal’ by their own context, what IS the context some of these people inhabit? [probably don’t want to know, do I?]

    What makes it so.much.worse. in my eyes is that she is, by our culture’s standards, a lovely, pretty – to many, downright beautiful – woman.  She is not someone whose need to mask their just-outta-the-shower self in layers of armor is obvious. She is not a latter-day, 90-degrees-twisted Janis, choosing to be a tad bizarre since they can’t compete with the “pretty girls.”  Whether she feels like one or not, she IS one of the pretty girls.

    Looking at her makes me sad. If she seemed more joyous about it (like Katy Perry or my fave, Dolly Parton) that’d be one thing. Unlike Britney, I am pretty confident that this one will survive with enough career and enough on the ball to publish some memoirs, but these years are not going to make fun reading.

  • Cindy Claussen

    think Cee Lo gets fug outfits like that custom made? made from a queen size set of sea foam green 400 count sateen sheets

  • gaowmichelle

    WHY. I don’t understand why she can’t figure it out. she always looks so terrible. ugh.

  • I’m old and fashion challenged in the extreme, but I still knew the answer was the tights.