Boy, That’s Not Your Suit: Jeremy Renner in Dolce&Gabbana

Posted on August 08, 2012

Hi, Jeremy Renner. We don’t like your suit.

 

Jeremy Renner attends the premiere of ‘The Bourne Legacy’ in Sydney in a Dolce&Gabbana suit, shirt and tie paired with Christian Louboutin shoes.

Our first reaction was a barely audible “Meh.” Black suit, white shirt, black tie. As standard as standard gets. But then our laser-like Fashion Vision kicked in and we noted that the tailoring on the pants is a little odd and makes him look outrageously hippy, when we’re pretty sure he’s tiny-hipped. Then we noticed the kind of boring, shiny, pointy-toed shoes. Then we noticed that his jacket sleeves seem a bit too short, with too much shirt cuff showing. And while all of these discoveries helped explain just why we were underwhelmed, working towards actively not liking, it wasn’t until we got to the jacket closure that we’d found the answer to the mystery. It’s a double-breasted jacket with one button and a split. In other words, it’s tailored like a tiny little lady’s trench coat, pulling in and flaring out at the points where most women’s tailoring does, and giving him the hourglass figure precisely no man wants.

Now, we absolutely don’t think this works at all, but we have to admit, we wound up giving him credit and a begrudging form of respect for wearing something with a twist to it. We wouldn’t have pegged him for the type. To our thinking, anything’s better than a “meh,” even if it’s a “Is he wearing womenswear?”

Which isn’t to say this wouldn’t work, but we tend to think if it does work, it’s going to be on a body much slimmer than Jeremy’s currently worked-out one. We’re actually curious to see that jacket on someone else to see if it works. Jeremy, pack this one up and send it to one of those nameless little twinks the tween girls all go crazy for. In fact, go straight to the top of the heap and send it to Bieber.  Next time, pick tailoring that works for an athletic body (Hint: That usually means no double-breasted anything).

 

[Photo Credit: Brendon Thorne/Getty Images]

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      Yep, pretty much everything about this suit is wrong headed for him. He’s not wide enough in the shoulder to carry double breasted looks well. Especially when the two button closure hits him where it does, and the deliberate notch at the bottom of the coat opening only widens his hip line further.  The pants are an inch too long and the sleeves roughly that much too short.  Oh and Jeremy, straighten your tie, its giving me fits.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lucía-Gavello/1253586868 Lucía Gavello

        Such a shame too, he really has a great body for suits and tuxes. Sometimes we of the lady extraction underestimate the difficulty of dressing up for men, but suits are complicated, you see that a lot more often with bigger guys like Mangianello or Hemsworth though.

      • StellaZafella

         I just opened this post and I’m seeing John Inman… except  John Inman would be dressed better.
        “Are you being served?”

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sierra-Delta/100003182924700 Sierra Delta

        Ah, Kiltd, I so look forward to your analyses of celebritypersons!

        You pinpoint details and focus precisely on why something does or doesn’t work.  You have a great eye, and I read you with total envy.  I almost always agree with you, and it’s nice to know that there are tangible reasons why something appears wrong or off to my eye.  You and TLo are great educators. 

        *Blushing at my boldness and demurely lowering eyelashes*

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      I just can’t get past the double-breasted jacket. Sorry, Jer.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_YVVJ5LZ7Y4OZDTFEWSAFTTWAJU Purple Fish

      Totally agree. It looks terrible.

    • MoHub

      Not sure he can move or even breathe in that jacket

    • Judy_J

      I don’t like his suit, either, for all the reasons you stated.  And the tie is wonky as well.

    • Sobaika

      Maybe not the look I would associate with him, but he looks fine. I’m concerned he can’t breathe, but he’s fine. The only major misstep is the cuffs showing.

    • http://twitter.com/ILikeShiny Cindi Williams

      Yeah, I’ll just look at pic 4. Love your face!

      And yes, and I did just channel Blayne.

    • Nicky Pierce

      Give him credit for not having his hands in his pockets for any of the photos.

      • alyce1213

        He doesn’t quite know what to do with them, but it’s a good start.

      • SassieCassy

        Lol sad but that’s what its come to with dudes on the red carpet

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1476648069 Scott Cooper

      Well, what about those mismatched pants?  And age-appropriateness?

      • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

        What about them?

    • Snailstsichr

      How about some color Jeremy? In addition to the fit problems, this outfit is screaming “Mortician” to me.

      • tereliz

        LOL, to me it screams Metrosexual “Men In Black”. Where’s his Noisy Cricket?

    • stephkat

      Remember that old episode of The Office when Michael gets a great deal on a new suit and it’s a woman’s suit?

      • FashionShowAtLunch

        YES! That is totally what this is.

      • http://twitter.com/ILikeShiny Cindi Williams

        “Are you wearing lady clothes, Mike?”

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

        Omigod, YES!! I was going to say the same thing!!

    • FashionShowAtLunch

      Yeah, I have a simple solution to this: Take it off, Renner.

    • bookish

      Yes, I see what you mean about the jacket. But he still has a dreamy face, so I’m very happy with this early morning post. Thanks! :)

    • Catiline

      A suit that gave Hawkeye childbearing hips.  That ain’t right.

    • VanessaDK

       It has a very 60’s vibe to me–like something Tommy Tune would have worn, sort of Carnaby street shape (except of course that it is in black) but it is amazing how much it makes his chest and shoulders disappear!

    • janetjb

      His hands aren’t in his pockets!

    • indigospade

      Oh I know quite a number of men who wouldn’t mind an hourglass figure. Still doesn’t excuse this suit.

    • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

      I didn’t notice that weirdness until you guys pointed it out.  But now that I see it, that’s just so damn odd.

    • quiltrx

      It looks tight, and like something a little boy would wear.  And I agree with others that it takes a strong pair of shoulders to work a double-breasted properly.

      And why does it look like the pants and jacket are two different fabrics (or shades of black)?  Makes it look cheap.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/KM5F6YLMLXS3AIQ5H3BIIIVABA fabulous

      oh yikes, that is the worst jacket he could have chosen.  

    • TheOriginalLulu

      Brazilians have an expression that goes, “the dead guy was shorter”. As in, somebody died and Jeremy inherited his suit. And he was shorter. That’s why it’s too…    No?   Never mind. It’s funnier in Portuguese.

      • kimmeister

        I’m officially going to use that phrase in both English and Spanish.  :-)

      • formerlyAnon

         I love that expression. I’m gonna try to use it, though having to explain it may ruin the joke.

        Which is o.k., I guess, a lot of what I say is primarily for my own amusement.

    • claudemtl777

      If you squint, it’s Ellen!!!

      • TheOriginalLulu

        OMG!!

    • SapphoPoet

      Yeah, what TLo said. 

      I wouldn’t have been able to articulate what was wrong with the suit, but he looks terrible. And I really dislike pointy shoes–they always look cheap to me. 

    • MissAnnieRN

      I think he is so hot that I’m usually jut tying to envision him not wearing anything at all. He seems so down to earth and chill. Which makes like 100x hotter. He has replaced Tom Brady at the top of my celebrity dream f*ck list.

    • Pants_are_a_must

      Poor Resting Face Renner. He never gets it right. He is the Biel of men, though with actual talent.

    • Zaftiguana

      Yeah, my first thought as I scrolled down was, “Is that a ladies’ suit?”

    • http://twitter.com/Kathy_Marlow Kathy Marlow

      I would love to take him under my wing and dress him…and keep him.  He is the hawtness for me. Not so handsome (I like to be the pretty one), but very, very definitely manly. 

    • DaveUWSNYC

      If I wore that jacked I’d look like Marilyn Monroe.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Renner just looks so uncomfortable in that suit, as if he’d been stuffed into it and then pushed on to the red carpet. Whoever suggested this suit to him needs to be smacked.

    • kimmeister

      Wow, nice eagle eyes for catching the split.  I had to scroll up and stare with all of my might to find it.

      The drape of the pants is only adding to the hourglass impression.

    • AlexisPayne

      His clenched fists at his side make me think he’s trying desperately to not shove them in his pockets. Really unfortunate suit. 

    • greymain

      at least his hands aren’t in his pockets….

    • http://twitter.com/lemonfreshmoxie Donna Lee

      He looks like Tobias when he wore Maeby’s suit.

    • http://twitter.com/marared Jaime

      That’s not his makeup job either – he looks pasty!

    • PastryGoddess

      I didn’t see his hips until you pointed it out..thanks guys

    • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

      Makes his shoulders look narrow, also not a look someone who plays Hawkeye and any sort of Bourne would want.

    • http://twitter.com/Alloyjane Alloy Jane

      This made me chuckle.  He’s having a Michael Scott moment in a woman’s suit. Oh lol…

    • PeggyOC

      Please send that jacket to Matt Smith or Andrew Garfield.  The skinny boys can wear that.  It’s not for you.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/FEP56YB4DUIXBWSLIMSSSGQHWY jimmack

      Oh, I did not know he was doing a roadshow version of “The Addams Family.” Suit works perfect as the costume for Gomez. Mr Renner looks so hot in the movie preview. Really. Go look.

      I will give Mr Renner some credit for not shoving his  hands into the pant’s pockets, wearing shined shoes, and I tie perfectly in place. Now when is the last time you saw any of that on a red carpet.

    • lilibetp

      I don’t know, but it seems to me that you’re expecting an awful lot from a man who can’t tell the difference between a sleeping pill and Viagra.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=733516833 Toby Wollin

      Actually, I think it’s the jacket that makes him look pear-shaped here. God, that is a horrific shape on him. DB is definitely NOT his look.

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      trying for daniel craig, but giving undertaker realness.  shudder……

    • margaret meyers

      This waist nipped in/swelling hip cut was popular right after WWI.  Robert Downey Jr. also falls for this aggressive tailoring.  It’s great that they are both so trim, but they have to resist showing it off this way. This look only works on a few very young men.

    • MilaXX

      Oh please no. Bieber doesn’t need any help in looking girly. As for the suit, the fit almost makes it feel like separate, like he’s wearing a jacket with a pair of slacks, which makes me wonder if the cut of those pants work with say a tight tee or a black turtleneck. Hate the shoes and overall this look is a “honey no.”  for me.

    • formerlyAnon

      Can’t argue with your opinions on the suit. (Gosh, isn’t Renner cute?)

      Doesn’t somebody look at these fellas right before they hit the lineup & straighten ties & collars, pick off bits of fluff, etc?  You’d think it’d be worth paying somebody minimum wage to do so.

      Heh. If they’d arm him or her with an electric razor to take off the artfully cultivated stubble, I’d kick in to help pay. Though I guess they’d then have to have a couple of strong extra employees to hold the guys still.

      But he is pretty cute. Really cute. Really, awfully cute.

    • jw_ny

      oh..now ya got me thinking about Jeremy’s hips….good thoughts tho.  ;)

    • joe_tey83

      Maybe he deliberately wants to show off his butt? Maybe?

    • sisterb67

      That first photo, the stiff posture, hands at his sides, face looking a little pinchy…  all I can picture is Tony Randall, totally in character, puffing out his chest while his character is introducing himself to someone and saying “Felix Unger, photographer. Portraits a specialty.”

    • Cat_In_A_Hat

      He’s still cute, though, and I thank you for the close up.

    • butter nut

      everything is a size too small.  

    • Truly_Outrageous

      100% agree with the assessment on the jacket. I do hope there are more “Boy, That’s Not Your Suit” posts in the future. The comment about the twinks was hilarious.

    • Neverbuynewclothes

      Jacket left over from his teens, before he worked out.  That’s why the sleeves are too short and the hem is too short (even to be currently fashionable).  Gotta be someone else’s shoes, though, since they seem to be too long.  Nice but dangerous-looking face, which is probably appropriate for the role.

    • http://www.fatladysings.us/ TFLS

      Hate the suit – love who’s in it.  you know, I remember Jeremy Renner from a program about 10 years ago called “The ‘It’ Factor”.  The show followed several ‘up and coming’ actors for a year.  Jeremy had just completed a film on Dahmer, garnering an Independent Spirit nomination in the process.  I really liked Jeremy.  He was special.  He really stood out.  Towards the end of the show he spoke about being offered two roles – one a splashy big budget monster (with a huge paycheck), the other a smaller character study for little money but with a top name actor.  Jeremy took the big budget ’cause he was broke and wanted some security.  I remember he worried he was making a mistake.  It was.  ‘S.W.A.T.’ tanked, and Jeremy’s career kinda folded for a few years.  Then came ‘The Hurt Locker’ and now he’s hotter than hell.  You know, I’ve always wondered what that other film was – the one he turned down.  Would it have made any difference?  Kinda makes a person go hmmmmmm.  ‘Course, now he can afford better clothes.  Pity he’s yet to suss that out.  Still – I’d rather look at Jeremy Renner in a bad suit than some of his contemporaries dressed to the nines.  Something about that weathered face…….  

    • ccm800

      This dude has zero appeal for me. He is one of the list of men who seem to make the ladies sigh and the gay guys dismiss. Yawn. 

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/63F4DF4VDHSF2LPYOSWO5ZHAGU AdrienneD

      I love Renner, but he looks disturbingly like my 50-something accountant being sworn in as the President of the Chamber of Commerce in this. 

    • guest2visits

      Have to agree, I know the suit is wrong – but I wouldn’t have picked up exactly why. I just instantly spotted the oddly cut pants
      and didn’t realize the jacket contributed to their poor fit. He does look better in these darker shade suits, though.

    • fursa_saida

      Oh, Jeremy, no. I love Renner a whole lot, but this is just wrong.