Bieber and Gomez Step Out

Posted on August 27, 2012

Selena, honey, allow us to give you some Gay Uncle advice.

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez heading to the Bo Burnham‘s comedy show in Hollywood.

Free People New Romantics Pennies From Heaven Dress

Sweetie, if you’re expected to spend hours getting dolled up and totter around in uncomfortable shoes while the best he can manage is a sweatshirt and jeans, put your damn foot down. Tell him to put a little damn effort in. Withhold sex if you have to. Alternately, you could just dress like he does and see which one of you blinks first. We’re pretty sure you will because, sadly, you’ll get ripped to shreds if you went out at night looking like he does, knowing your picture would be taken. Well, we’re with you, Hon. Here’s our promise to you: we BEG you to dress just like the Biebster is in these pictures the next time you two go out in public together, knowing you will be photographed. Witches Honor, we will not say one bad thing about it. We promise.

No, really.

 

[Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews, freepeople.com]

    • Sobaika

      BEWITCHED REFERENCE!

      And I don’t know what’s keeping these two crazy kids together, but she can do better.

      • alyce1213

        Exactly my thought.  Other than the fact that he’s famous and rich as Croesus, he’ like a little gerbil boy.

        • formerlyAnon

           Hahahahah!

      • greyhoundgirl

        But that’s just the point–they’re only kids.

      • ccm800

         contracts

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

          Yup. Also, remember how Brooke Shields and Michael Jackson dated? Everyone was similarly weirded out, but I remember reading some really sweet things she had to say about him – they were both kids thrust into adulthood/stardom too soon and developed a really strong friendship out of that bond. The “dating” part was mostly secondary – ie, they were a guy and a girl in our heteronormative society and were spending a lot of time together. Maybe there’s something similar at work here. (Otherwise, ew.)

          • formerlyAnon

            I had forgotten about Shields & Jackson, but have wondered if the Gomez-Bieber dating is something of a mutual defense pact against all the forces pushing them to have public love lives, preferably with other celebrities.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lucía-Gavello/1253586868 Lucía Gavello

            I loved the speech she gave at his funeral, it was the best of the bunch and she sounded so sincerely heartbroken, I couldn’t help but crying my eyes out. I think you just made me look at these two in a different light…

      • Allyson Wells

        Well, they’re both cute, young, rich and talented… why shouldn’t they be together? I think they make an adorable little couple!

    • VicksieDo

      She looks embarrassed to be with him. HA!

      • Rebecca J.

        She should be.

    • j_anson

      Dear Justin Beiber: stop trying to work this look. It is not your look.

      • alyce1213

        He doesn’t seem even close to finding his look.  

        • j_anson

          True! It’s mainly that he seems to be trying to work a “tough”, vaguely rapper-inspired look here, with the chains and the pants and all, and he’s just… not tough. With his baby face and his skinny little neck… Sorry, Justin. You are not tough. But that’s okay. Millions of mid-teens girls love you because you are a non-threatening crush object. Own it!

      • http://twitter.com/thesquizz Lauren

         Dear Justin Beiber: stop

        Fixed that for you. :)

        • j_anson

          Hah. Well, sure. But baby steps, baby steps.

    • http://twitter.com/skitzfiggitous skitzfiggitous

      Does anyone really think that “withholding sex” is an option with this couple? (“couple”?)

      • mshesterp

        Ew, I don’t want to think of the Biebs anywhere close to naked.  He just reeks of tweener douchiness, which is the opposite of sexy.  I cannot reconcile him and hot young stud in the same thought.  Blurg.

        • Anna Tree

           I am 90% sure he also reeks of hair product

          • Kayceed

            And Axe body spray?

      • twocee

        Yeah, I had a good laugh when I read that.

      • j_anson

        God, I hope not, but there’s nothing to stop her “leaking” to a gossip rag that she’s “withholding sex”, right? Live by the tabloids, die by the tabloids.

      • Little_Olive

        I don’t think it is but because I CANNOT fathom the idea of sex between these two. 

        I actually question that he has a (working) penis. Ewewew.

    • http://twitter.com/jelenawoehr jelenawoehr

      She’s going to a comedy show, and the girl behind her is dressed more like Bieber than like Selena. Maybe she just likes gauzy, floor-length dresses and the photographer caught her looking moody for non-outfit related reasons? I don’t think anyone forced her to dress up like this to watch someone tell jokes.

    • Excellence_and_Elegance

      Oh. No. Bieber is just a monochromatic mess.

    • hughman

      Also, Selena darling, taking you to a “Bo Burnham” show is a deal breaker. 

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/HXP23KQJL7DA2RR2HJRNZLROYY Katie

        Why? I’m in Selena’s age and gender (though sadly not income) bracket and I’d be jumping up and down with glee if I got to see Bo Burnham live. Dude’s funny.

    • nannypoo

      I don’t care about him either way as a celebrity, but at least he’s dressed like a normal person his age. What is she here? A princess? A hippy? A live Barbie? Some kind of act for a toddler’s birthday party? She looks ridiculous.

      • DCSheehan

        Hippy-Barbie? I wouldn’t let her near children in that dress, they’d end up with years of nightmares.

      • TheOriginalLulu

        I don’t know, but I think he’s the one who looks ridiculous here. I mean, it’s August and he’s wearing a knit cap and a sweatshirt. Plus, his pants are too big and they’re tucked into his sneakers.
        Selena may be a little over-dressed (and I personally hate sheer long skirts over short skirts), but at least she’s dressed for the right season and her clothes fit correctly.

      • formerlyAnon

         I know several late teen girls who like browsing the Free People catalog, and if they had more money would buy out of it. Of course half the allure is the willowy models and the color-enhanced settings in which they’re photographed, but c’mon – I bet if we all lined up photographs of ourselves taken in our early 20s, most would have several shots in which the picture in our heads was obviously what we consulted rather than the mirror.  I sure would.

        And, I don’t really think it looks all that bad. His hat, THAT’s bad.

        • nannypoo

          Well, I didn’t say he looks good. He actually looks like a slob. 

          • formerlyAnon

            I cannot disagree with you, though with the caveat that he looks like a squeaky *clean* slob. One who possibly still uses Mr. Bubble in the tub.

            • Little_Olive

              You made me see that (him in the bathtub, rubber duck and all). Can’t stop laughing. 

      • charlotte

         Linda Ronstadt!

    • siriuslover

      She just needs to dump him already. 

    • http://www.thirteen.org/downton-abbey/category/the-downton-dish/ Gotham Tomato

      That’s not the advice I thought you were going to give her, but it’s spot on nonetheless.

      I can’t even remember the last time I used the word ‘nonetheless’.

      –GothamTomato

    • DaveUWSNYC

      Nothing ruins a beautiful summer day like seeing a hipster wearing a winter hat…an abomination on both coasts

      • mshesterp

        and a sweatshirt and pleather jeans!  is it late October and i just didn’t know it?

    • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

      By having a straight hem, she’s taken away the most attractive part of this dress. Maybe that is her signal to him?

      • ballerinawithagun

        Yes, I was looking for someone who said that about the straight hem before I posted it. It is only interesting when it is tied and ruched. I do lots of popular skirts on my Ballerina With A Gun clothing site and I make it so that the wearer has the option of tying the skirt differently but rarely do women want to wear the skirt straight down.

    • Anathema_Device

      They need to average out their outfits.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=677547537 John Hodgins

      I hate you both. :-) After seeing that,  I’m now going to become Endora and say it (and make the finger-movement) all the time, driving my partner crazy!!!

    • gabbilevy

      It’s amazing how much more casual the dress looks with the hem on the model. She should have left it that way.

    • MK03

      Another tip: Dump that smirking little douchenozzle. Preferably in public, so we can all rejoice in it.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ginny-Ellsworth/534496198 Ginny Ellsworth

        With shrieking, name-calling and tears. And then she’ll get mad too?!!

    • l_c_ann

      What a pretty young woman.

      Does she’s know she’s being stalked by a guy in a knit cap?

    • Judy_J

      If she had worn the dress as it was originally styled, with the soft little boots and all, she would have looked much better, and more in tune with the Bieb’s casual attire.

    • Amy Ellinger

      Who wears that to a freaking comedy show? (Even if it is Bo Burnham, whom I adore.)  Next time honey– Cute jeans, t-shirt and jacket, with some kickass boots or heels. 

      • ballerinawithagun

        No, that would be too boring.

        • Amy Ellinger

          she could have at least done the skirt like the model’s- would provide some funky-fresh and make it seem less….fairy princess?

    • Aurumgirl

      She looks like a young woman and he is still in his baby shoes.  Seriously, this pretense should end, they don’t look like they’re even remotely close in age anymore.

    • SapphoPoet

      She looks a bit overdressed for the event, but I can see how she’d want to wear that dress. It’s really cute. However, she should have copied the gathers from the model; it would look far better. 

    • turtleemily

      Free People New Romantics Pennies From Heaven Dress

      I had to go get my glasses to make sure it didn’t say what my brain thought it did: Penis From Heaven.

      • Sweetpea176

         I’d wear that dress.

    • MilaXX

      Not only does she look overdressed for this event, she had the dress altered so that it loses all it’s original charm. 
      She should take a page from Rhianna. Before the whole Chris Brown abuse and before she started dressing like a skank. Rhi Rhi and Chris used to go out looking like a cute 20 something couple.

      Selena could at least try wearing skinny jeans and cute tops instead of all this frou frou.

      • Kayceed

        On her Disney Channel show that is exactly what she wears – and she looks cute.

    • Scott Hester-Johnson

      I wanna slap that little douche right out of his over-sized, unlaced trainers.

    • joe_tey83

      What a cute lesbian couple.

    • another_laura

      Oh my god, thank you for the Agnes Moorehead clip!

      I couldn’t agree with you more, guys, concerning her getup here.  So much effort put in, to be seen on the town with someone who’s put in so little effort.  It is to sigh.

    • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

      God, he’s such a douchebag.

      She’s stunning. Doesn’t seem to matter what she does. 

    • formerlyAnon

       I’m feeling mellow. (No, not chemically mellow, just in charity with the world for a few moments. It’ll pass.)

      Maybe she likes dressing up [though honey, listen to the commentariat, you should have left the hem gathered as shown on the model] and buying all those things that teens without her money just flip through catalogs lusting after.  And maybe they get along. And maybe (unlikely as it looks) they actually share lust for each other . . . (I know it’s a stretch).

      Maybe they get along so well/share so much lust that she doesn’t even notice how silly he looks in that hat – NO. I’m not feeling that mellow. She’s GOT to know, right?

    • Spicytomato1

      This post reminds me of the time I was going on a date in high school (mid-80s). I cannot remember what I was wearing but chances are good it was v-neck Forenza sweater worn backwards with short, skinny jeans that zippered at the ankles…anyway, my date showed up wearing a plaid shirt, faded denim overalls and huge basketball shoes. I took one look at him and feigned sudden sickness because I was so horrified by his look.

      In this instance, I’m not sure who is more inappropriate. She is definitely more tolerable than he is, however.

      • Kayceed

        Good times! Did you cinch the aforementioned Forenza sweater with an enormous elasicized belt in a primary color?

        • Spicytomato1

          Ooh, nice. No, I somehow managed to miss that trend. But a belt like that would have probably taken away from my teal plastic earrings in the shape of giant triangles and my Swatch.

          • Kristin McNamara

            I was definitely born in the wrong decade. This whole outfit sounds FREAKING AWESOME.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      Lord I wish she would.

      It would have helped if she’d gone with the original, more casual styling too.  But he’s practically in his jim-jam’s so I’m not about to make it her fault.

      Witches Honor!

    • mjude

      “witches honor”  that makes me happy :)

    • poketom

      If she dressed like him and put her hair up in a beanie it would be nearly impossible to tell them apart. 

      It would be one of those awkward moments where a couple looks like they’re related, like when you meet a gay couple and think they’re twinsies at first. 

    • Trisha26

      She’s very cute – great dress! He looks like a baby thug.

    • ASK26

      Gosh I can’t tolerate him.    I wonder how many adults over 25 can?

    • maggiemaybe

      Those chains he’s wearing around his neck make me want to punch him in the face. Does that make me a bad person?

      • formerlyAnon

        Only if you assault him or incite others to do so.

        • maggiemaybe

          Okay, I’ll behave…

    • unbornfawn

      Damn, I want to hack that overskirt off. It would be a very cute little short dress. She’s OK. I just can’t stand the little douche she’s with.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sierra-Delta/100003182924700 Sierra Delta

      Oh, ick!  Her skirt is dragging all over the pavement! Ick, ick, ick!

      And Justin Bieber! Ick, ick, ick!

    • Funkykatt

      Let them break up, I am so over them. Actually I had no idea they were together.

    • julnyes

      This is hard for me to admit, but Biebs is dressed more appropriately for this particular event than Mz. Gomez.

    • Snailstsichr

      At first glance it looked like she was wearing a pseudo wedding dress and wanted to scream, “Girlfriend, leave that nonsense to Jessica Biel!! If she had left the hem as shown on the model, I never would have gotten the wedding dress vibe.

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      Ummm…She seems a bit overdressed for a comedy show. As rediculous as the Bieber dresses, he looks more appropriate. Besides, that’s totally Taylor Swifts’s dress.

    • FashionShowAtLunch

      That is my favorite gif I have ever seen.

    • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

      I want to love that dress but because there’s a short slip underneath I hate it.  Damn.

    • LambeeBaby

      Selena looks like a princess and he looks like a pauper.

    • SewingSiren

      I am so glad I clickyed on those little blue words. I’m imagining you two doing that for reals.

    • Lisa

      “Witches Honor” – I love you guys!  

      This is just so mismatched, it’s dismaying.  She’s dressed for the prom, he’s dressed to hang out at the mall and play air hockey.

    • Call me Bee

      They are just kids–you can see it.  Neierh has any regard for the other.  He–running ahead.  She–overdressing to get attention.  Ugh.  I kinda wish theyd disappear until they learn some manners and how to treat others. 

    • DesertDweller79

      He looks ridiculous and she looks embarrassed.  This is sad and pathetic. 

      I promise that if she goes out with him dressed like he is here I will not make fun of her.  But, I can’t guarantee that I won’t make fun of him.

    • Qitkat

      What is he, 12?

    • UptownNippy

      They are the most foolish looking couple I’ve seen on here.  
      ugh 

    • http://www.kurvendiskussionen.at/ Denocte

      I confess: I really like the dress. It’s quirky and cute <3

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/FEP56YB4DUIXBWSLIMSSSGQHWY jimmack

      Gosh…why did she change the emine…it looks so much beter on the model.
      Between you and me, I think guys that wear wool hats in the middle of summer are just idiots.

    • iCouture

      God, he is a douche!

    • gsk241

      Well, I live in a college town and I see a lot of young couples on dates looking like this.  The girl will have on a pretty little sundress with espadrilles, hair and makeup all nicely done, and her date will be in cargo shorts and a t-shirt with his baseball cap on backwards.  Seriously, ladies need to call their beaux on this.  Right now.

    • redgauntlet

      How can they have sex? His balls haven’t dropped.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/J2VE4NE2FY2BP4QD2XOYKJGLPI Laura

      Why did she ruin that dress??!

    • Susan Crawford

      She: Going to Prom
      He: Going to job at Jiffy Lube