Teen Choice Awards Red Carpet, Part 2

Posted on July 23, 2012

You didn’t think we were done, did you? Many more teens making choices, darlings. For instance, the following teens made the choice to desperately claw at the cameras in order to get attention. Let’s get judgey on their asses.

 

Bella Thorne

 The shoes don’t go. Possibly due to the fact that the shoes are ugly.

 

Chris Colfer in Joe’s Jeans (shirt) and J Brand (jeans)

He’s got a very narrow aesthetic, and while this is pretty standard for him, we’re glad he didn’t wear his standard black suit with skinny black tie. Then again, it would have looked overdone on this red carpet.

 

Crystal Reed

Is it us, or is it weird to see the word MOIST floating around behind everyone? Disconcerting.

And overwhelming, when you’re forced to stare at a dress so bland it might as well be invisible. The shoulders are vaguely interesting, but only because it looks like two sequined birds landed on them.

 

Darren Criss

 Go home, you lazy douche. Try again.

 

Gwen Stefani in YSL

Serving it. She looks like the coolest mom out of all the chaperones.

Yes, that was a little bitchy.

 

Hannah Simone in Mary Katrantzou

 Cute.

 

Holland Roden in Alice+Olivia

Very cute.

Too bad she got wimpy when it came time to pick shoes.

 

Ian Somerhalder in Alternative Apparel (Tee) and Stronghold (Jeans)

 GO HOME.

 

Jordin Sparks in Chagoury Couture

 The waist is way too high and the skirt way too puffy for her. Girl, this is not your dress.

 

Kat Graham in Mara Hoffman

 Nice dress but the accessories are too matchy.

 

Kathryn McCormick

 Boring.

 

Lucy Hale in Wes Gordon

 Killing it.

 

Miranda Cosgrove in Collette Dinnigan

 We had to take a moment and sort of drink it all in. First impulse was to hate it, but we actually really like it the longer we look at it.

 

Nikki Reed in Contrarian New York

 The bodice looks badly finished and the skirt is dull. The shoes are clumsy-looking and all wrong.

 

Taylor Swift in Maria Lucia Hohan

Credit where it’s due: the girl is shutting it the hell down. It’s still a bit precious, though. You couldn’t pick some shoes with color in them?

 

 

[Photo Credit: Getty]

    • jilly_d

      Lucy Hale FTW!

      • kikisayshi

         Agreed. She is definitely the most put-together head-to-toe.

    • raeb23

      does ian’s closet consist solely of stretched out t-shirts & black jeans? ugh!…he’s making it hard for me to remember why i thought he was cute back in the day

      • http://twitter.com/sebwfu Shannon Beamer

        YES.  I think he is insanely gorgeous, but sweet jesus, could you ditch the Coachella-ready apparel and dress your age, Ian?! Or at least iron your clothes?  God knows, but his wardrobe is unacceptable. 

      • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

         Ian and Darren should both be smacked for wearing what looks like an undershirt or sleep t-shirt. You know, the kind that you only wear to sleep in b/c it’s all stretched out and faded.

        I mean, imagine how much better they’d both look if they were wearing even a t-shirt with an interesting graphic? Certainly not like they just rolled out of bed.

        • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/ZMWIWVVDFHJK5M3VJEXHOUDQPY anon

          Except that’s not what Darren was wearing – up close you could see that the shirt had a subtle beige and grey print that coordinated with the pants. You just couldn’t photo it at a distance.

        • Celandine1

          Darren looks like he is 10 seconds away from popping open a can of PBR, sitting down to watch the game, and putting is his hand down the front of his pants (bad Al Bundy flashback). Ian looks like he was lurking at corner selling pot to those kids.

          • http://twitter.com/kyjustice Matthew Just

            You say that about Darren like it’s a bad thing.

      • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

        I just posted the exact same thing!  What a creepy guy.

    • joancarol

      The way Taylor Swift is holding her left leg says “I’m the most precious ever”

    • Call me Bee

      Lucy Hale FTW!  (Whoever she is…) 
      Gwen looks good, but a little severe for an hot afternoon in LA. 
      As I look at Kathryn McCormick in her boring dress, all I can think is,  “Put your boobs away!  There are children present!” 
      Yes–TS is werqing it–but has she no other color in her wardrobe?   She won’t be able to get away with that angelic stuff forever…. 

      • Ceur

        I’m guessing that because she’s a dancer, she’s used to putting them away because of practical reasons, and are enjoying the standing-and-sitting-part. Anyway, I agree, her boobsy blandness is unwanted. However, I am jealous.

    • mjude

      there are only a handfull of people i recognize, i am way out of the loop.  the one named kathryn, that dress is just bad on her.

      • sisterb67

         Good lord, yes. Someone that young should not have that much underboob sagging action going on.

    • Imasewsure

      McCormick should take notes from Swift since it’s basically the same look (but looks a whole hella better and less boring on Tay Tay). And honestly the red carpets should start carding the guys who show up looking like they can’t be bothered… or make them wear a loaner-dinner jacket from Sardi’s or something… make them pay!!

      • sockandaphone

        i noticed how in this red carpet all the girls are dressed very nicely and most guys couldnt even bother with more than a tshirt and dark jeans. I mean, come on! its the teen choice awards so it should be semi-casual but its a red carpet with photographers expecting you.

    • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

      I kinda feel bad.  These people spent a ridiculous amount of time on what they would look like at this event and the first thing I said was “Hey, those are my contacts!” 

      On the flip side, the only thing I really remember post scrolldown is that my contact company sponsored the event, so that’s a total win for their marketing department.  (Of course, they just spent a lot of money and made an impact on someone who literally cannot wear any other brand anyway, so maybe I’m not the best example.)

      • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

         I hate the word “moist,” and now I can’t stop seeing it.

    • BazoDee

      Chris Colfer just looks like perfection! Yes keeps his choices narrow but I can’t fault it when he looks so perfectly put together and comfortable. 
      Taylor manages to make an apron dress look twee. HOW???
      Lucy Hale for the win -although her competition is weak tea. 

      • Larkin21

        I agree, Chris looks great. I tend to like what he wears but he looks particularly good here.

    • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

      Why do so many of the women stand with their legs crossed? They all look like they have to pee RIGHTNOWFORTHELOVEOFGODWHEREISTHEBATHROOM?

      Also? Gwen Stefani has a bit of camel toe going on. Or maybe it’s just her I-have-to-pee stance.

    • sockandaphone

      gwen stefani does not age. shes the female keanu reeves and looks better than 99% of the people in this red carpet. show them how its done girl.

      • out for a walk

        She looks great here, but I found your comment amusing in that, like Keanu Reeves, she is quite high on my irrational celebrity hate list.

        That said, props to Gwen for bringing it, cause she definitely did.

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

          Funny, I find Keanu physically beautiful, but at the same time, the “lights are on but nobody’s home” thing is a turnoff. I’ve always been very confused about him…

          • HelpHelpMeRhonda

            For me, it’s because no matter what movie he is in, I still hear his lines in his “Bill and Ted” voice.

      • Spicytomato1

        I know what you mean about Gwen. She looks fierce here but I feel like it’s only a matter of time before she’s completely bald (her hair must be fried beyond belief)…and that will diminish her youthfulness considerably.

        • sockandaphone

          she has money to get a good wig once her hair is gone, meh.

      • http://www.djplaw.com/ Tadiana

        Also funny, I think I recently saw Keanu Reeves on one of those “Celebrities who have aged badly” slideshows.  He sure had me drooling back in the day in Speed.

    • gubblebumm

      moist and douche….sigh

      darren, you don’t have the bod to carry off a white tshirt

    • Introspective

      a much better assemblage than the first round of mostly fug looks. Gwen’s the winner, shutting it the hell DOWN and showing these young girls how to do it.

      that said, Tay, Miranda, Lucy and Hannah are all looking cute. I just like that Gwen has the maturity and fashion chops to have figured out that “pretty cocktail dress” is not the be all and end all for every occasion.

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      Wait – Kat Graham doesn’t look like a crazy person! I love the dress, and I’ll forgive the too-matchy accessories just for the fact that she looks like a normal human.

      And I know boys tend to be a bit lazy on the red carpet in general, but Darren and Ian, that’s a whole new low for laziness.

      • lovelyivy

         This is clearly the best she has ever looked on a red carpet. It gets a thumbs up from me on that fact alone.

    • formerlyAnon

      Darren Criss is sent home AND will NOT be re-admitted. Somerhalder will be issued a better shirt in the celebrity lost & found & may try again. 

      Because, (while I don’t believe it for a minute), Somerhalder looks like that’s just what he wears, he didn’t think about how to make himself look inappropriately crummy.  Criss has all these intentional touches (how hard did he struggle to roll up the bottoms of his narrow little trousers?, is there tape holding his t-shirt up just-so above the belt buckle?) that serve to remind he TRIED to look this awful.

    • MilaXX

      I’m gonna give Lucy hale the win in this lot. Both Darren & Ian need to go home & try again. Nikki earns worse dressed. Those shoes are hiddy.

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      Nikki Reed’s dress looks like something that might have gotten someone auf-ed on Project Runway.

      They would have gotten dinged for the styling, too.

      • AudreysMom

         I was going to say that too about Jordin Sparks’. Kinda looks like the hardware store challenge where someone ran out of time and ended up using trash bags and picnic table cloth.

        • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

           I can hear Nina and Michael say that the proportions are all off and that it looks cheap.

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      Agree.  Agree.  Agree.  Go home, you lazy douche!!
      BAHAHAHAAHA!!!

    • DinaSews

      Jordin Sparks looks bad here but I have to give it to her for not dressing like Lea Michele since her weight loss.  Props to her for not squeezing into dresses so we can see how skinny she is.
      White undershirts on the red carpet (even THIS red carpet), really?

    • http://www.facebook.com/fiddlecub Kevin VanOrd

      I know T-Lo and the bitter kittens often have an irrational dislike of Taylor Swift, but I want to defend her just for a moment. In a world of Lindsay Lohans (disaster) and Lea Micheles (of course), I like that she has found a style that works for her that doesn’t involve baring her body. I would feel differently about the preciousness if it felt forced, I think, but it just seems like her. She doesn’t carry herself as though she is self-important–she just looks happy and poised to me, at least most of the time. And I like that. If you are going to have a personal style dictate, I think that “be pretty” is a perfectly reasonable one. 

      • http://twitter.com/1carmelita 1carmelita

        I sat through this show with my daughter last night. During the performance by Flo rida they kept cutting to Taylor Swift dancing along with all the other fan girls. She looked dorky and adorable all at once. It was fun to see someone of her fame just having a good time. And she was one of the few who know how to give a decent thank you speech.

      • j_anson

        I think my dislike of Taylor Swift is totally rational. :)

        That said, I’m not sure “not baring her body” is an accurate description of the dress shown above.

        • http://www.facebook.com/fiddlecub Kevin VanOrd

          Yeah–my description was a bit lazy. I meant more: baring her body in an obvious sexual manner. She shows skin but remains ladylike, rather than a sex object. She looks aesthetically lovely, rather than like she’s displaying feminine wares reserved for the highest bidder. 

          I think I am lucky, because I don’t really know Taylor’s music all that well–I know her more as the persona accepting awards and appearing in print. But I can flip it around: I have never seen Twilight, so I have nothing to say about Kristen Stewart as an actress or performer. But every time I see a picture of her, she looks exhausted and irritated with everything, like she can’t stand THE RESPONSIBILITY OF BEING SO AMAZING. 

          Give me a princess that looks like she’s happy to be there over a fashionista with an attitude any day!

          • j_anson

            I’m curious – what makes the difference between baring one’s body in a ladylike manner and baring one’s body in a manner that suggests one is displaying one’s feminine wares for the highest bidder?

            • http://www.facebook.com/fiddlecub Kevin VanOrd

              I am not sure what to say to that. I think so many female celebrities dress for sex appeal that a female star seeking a different kind of presence is refreshing. That isn’t to say that a display of sexuality is bad either–I only mean to give Taylor props for finding a different way to express herself through clothing. 

              The difference comes down to many things, many of which we already understand if we follow fashion or simply read this blog. The cut of the dress: how much breast or butt do we see? The fit of the dress: how tightly does it grip the body? The fabric: is it shiny, or sequined? The color of the dress: Does it grab attention through use of garish colors or patterns? The design: does it draw attention to the crotch? The accessories: are the shoes dungeon mistress heels, or fuck-me pumps? The makeup, the wearer’s posture and facial expression–our brain processes all of these things at once, and we come away with some sense of aesthetic. 

              And so when I see Taylor above, we see her skin (along with some nude fabric on the torso to give us the illusion of skin), but I don’t see an overt attempt to communicate “sex.” Her hair and makeup are on the clean side. The dress and shoes are both relatively neutral in color. The hem has a billowy line. Her pose is similar to a ballerina’s, which evokes ideas of grace to me, rather than “come hither, big boy.” The overall takeaway, for me at least (and maybe this is because as a gay man, I am not inclined to see women in a sexual way), is: pretty to look at, but not an invitation to touch. 

              I hope that makes some sense of where I am coming from. Again, I am all for the expression of sexuality in fashion, presuming some level of appropriateness for the venue. On the other hand, “pure sex” is standard for many starlets when making fashion choices. That’s why I appreciate those that explore different methods of expression. Taylor Swift and Tilda Swinton dress very differently, but I like that they express themselves differently than, say, Jennifer Lopez or Fergie. A Taylor Swift or a JLo can both werq–they’re just different kinds of werq! 

              (Gosh–sorry for the wall of text.)

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      What is UP with the boys here?  I mean, when someone wearing a tie seems to bat it out of the park in comparison to the rest of these douche canoes, its a sad thing indeed.

      • wisenhar

        Hehe, douche canoes.  So much love!

    • Lilithcat

      Taylor Swift is wearing hooker bridal.

      • TonyGo

         Taylor Swift is wearing Hooker Bridal on Ice.

      • janetjb

        Yet she still looks so darn sweet.

    • elirt

      I had the exact same reaction re:  Miranda Cosgrove. At first I scrolled and thought – ugh, no – but then I scrolled back up and thought “that’s actually really fun and it fits her well. Lucy Hale wins – the color, cut, style – all of it is full of win! 

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

      Message to Kathryn McCormick (whoever you are): visible implants at a children’s event = icky.

      • AudreysMom

         worse yet, visible implants that make her boobs look droopy at 19 (or whatever age she is).

    • kirkyo

      “The shoes don’t go. Possibly due to the fact that the shoes are ugly.”

       hilarious.

    • http://twitter.com/NJPaganelli NJPaganelli

      At least Darren got rid of the animal that was on his face at Comic Con

    • Spicytomato1

      Chris Colfer is the man! Love this look, kind of mod rockabilly. His shoes are the coolest, I wish I could get my tween boys out of their Nikes and into these for a change.

      Side note: What are the odds that Bella Thorne is Bella Thorne’s real name? I haven’t heard a stagier-sounding name in ages.

    • Judy_J

      I have an irrational hatred of balloon skirts, and that one Jordin Sparks is sporting is particularly offensive.

    • julnyes

      Loved Miranda’s outfit (but as an adult fan of iCarly, I am a bit biased)

    • teensmom99

      Jordin Sparks’ really deserves her own girl that is not your dress.  Lucy Hale is an example of how the right shoe choice can take you to a whole different level.  And I’d guess that if Taylor Swift had a shoe with some color it would have come off more precious–I think it was a good choice.l

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Beth-Rang/1362051737 Beth Rang

      I misread this: instead of taking a moment to look at Miranda Cosgrave’s dress, I thought you were going to take a magnet to it! Very appropriate actually.

    • Little_Olive

      I CANNOT with Darren Criss’ outfit. 

      I love me an adonis with no socks and loafers, so I know: Those are NOT i) the pants (ew! and cuffed!) ii) the look and iii) the shoes, to go all Amalfi Coast on us.

    • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

      I covet that Alice+Olivia dress that kid is wearing.  Covet it.  Also love the Lucy Hale orangey dress.  Otherwise, meh.  Has Ian Somerhalder got ANYTHING in his closet besides black jeans and sweaty, stretched out gray t-shirts?  Douche.

    • http://houseofestrogen.typepad.com/ Ann

      Did Darren Criss just forget the rest of his clothes? It looks like he’s got on his undershirt and just rolled out of bed, forgetting to brush his teeth. Ick.

    • PinkLemon

      Hanna Simone’s shoes are HIDDY.

    • janetjb

      Lucy looks fantastic, nearly perfect.

      The only shoes that I like are on Chris, he’s wearing a great pair of shoes. 

    • http://twitter.com/connectinglines Me Again

      That’s the best I’ve seen Chris Colfer look.  Dude has been hitting the gym.  And I like the hair.

    • Vlasta Bubinka

      Jordin Sparks has been all over the media talking about her weight loss. So what does she do to show the fruit of her labors? Well, she didn’t go the JHud road, oh no. Not Princess Promise Ring. She borrows Carol Brady’s dress top and pairs with a coffin liner. How new! How fresh!

    • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

      Kat Graham is almost subdued for her, but, Primo Bitch Face!

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/FEP56YB4DUIXBWSLIMSSSGQHWY jimmack

      I have never been a huge fan of Mr Colfer. But damm, if he isn’t maturing into a good looking guy. Mr Criss, on the other hand, is going downhill rapdily.

      • semirose

        Seriously. I watched the Bomer ep of Glee recently because I will suffer anything for that man and was like hoh shit when did Criss usurp Morrison’s sleazedouche #1 role?

        Colfer may have one look but at least its a good one.

    • DCSheehan

      This sloppy look for male stars has got to end. It looks like they’re about to do yard work. Scratch that, it looks like they did yard work in those outfits then wandered into the red carpet.

    • http://twitter.com/londonpenguin Teresa M.

      I’m getting a Xanadu vibe from Crystal Reed’s dress.

      Holland Roden’s dress is so cute!

    • mountainFashionista

      Why no love for the rest of No Doubt?  These guys know how to dress!

      Okay, I’ll do it: I totally love everything about Adrian’s perfect rockabilly getup, and am also digging Tony’s classic 8-hole docs (though I wish he’d tied them) and almost-cat-eye sunnies. 

    • HM3

      Half-disagree regarding Jordin Sparks: *LOVE* the bubble skirt on her (those legs are KILLA). However, I agree that the waist is too high, and I think the top part in general is kind of tacky.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_HBS4KWJ6XTPDEL2JMD37ZS5YHA Ben

      Love Gwen’s outfit. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1401197785 Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

      Yes, the “MOIST” in the background is a little weird for me.

    • kikisayshi

      What is it with all the satin shoes in summer? Am I wrong to think that satin and suede should be worn in winter (and weddings)?

    • margaret meyers

      Taylor Swift, is there a back to the skirt of that slutty apron, and did it come with matching pot holders?

    • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

      Hannah Simone? Really?  TAN PEEP TOES?  I thought you HATED tan peep toes?  Orange lipstick?   NO.  I say OUT.

    • alyce1213

      Gwen makes all the teens look like shit.

    • SorayaS

      Taylor’s looks like a fancy apron but I love Crystal Reed’s (?) sequinned bird shoulder pads! I’m ashamed because I would send all the boys home but Ian!

    • save_the_hobbit

      It’s too bad Darren shaved off his beard, he works hobo pretty well. And I’m glad he still wears his starkid sunglasses to the awards show (even though he wasn’t in this pic, he was wearing them last night), it’s like a small shoutout to all his TSK fans. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1241487378 Lauren Lynch Fox

      Has Gwen Stefani aged at all? She looks the same as back in the day. Madonna should take note….

    • quiltrx

      Lucy and Holland (I say it like I know who they are) both look really put-together and cute.  Pretty and stylish–and age-appropriate!

    • guest2visits

      Have to admit; Taylor is wearing a dress that I would hate on most anybody else. Hannah, Holland, and Lucy -really great dresses.
      All of No Doubt looked together and terrific.

    • http://6things.blogspot.com par3182

      I love the arrow to tell them which way to face. Towards the cameras, kids.

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      I don’t have the hate for Taylor that many BKs have. She looks great here, but a bit overdressed for the event.

    • NicholasGirling

      It’s not pictured here but I thought Ariana Grande’s dress was really cute (though not the best for a windy day).

    • YoungSally

      Is the arrow on the carpet to distract one from the not-at-all subliminal “Moist” or there to point you to what should make you think “moist contacts”

    • turtleemily

      I’m actually fine with what Ian’s wearing. It’s a combination of him being cute and me thinking that anyone at least twice the age of this show’s demographic gets a pass on what they wear.

    • Kim Pham

      Holland looks so pretty here! I gotta say that cut and pattern for the dress is working with her! But don’t all starlets wear either neutral or bridal shoes on all/most of your posts? O_O

    • LinXGUA

      Jordin Sparks, i don’t know you honey, but i agree with T&Lo: That’s not your dress!
      And Bella Thorne, on my first impression i thought your shoes where crocks. Crocks, girl.