Princess Charlene in Berlin

Posted on July 09, 2012

You know what? The world spends way too much time on that other sort-of princess who dresses like her grandmother-in-law 90 percent of the time. Let’s show the love to that Grimaldi girl for once.

Prince Albert II and Princess Charlene of Monaco arriving at the Schloss Bellevue Palace as part of their visit to Berlin.

Wow. Counselor Troi to the bridge, please.

That is…

We can’t…

Ohhhhhh, honey. Come here. You need a hug.

Look, we’ll make this quick before Alba the Hutt sees us and has us executed: Ditch the Princess Di hair, dear. It’s too obvious and everyone’s rolling their eyes at you behind your back. Also, never let anyone tell you that your gorgeous Olympian shoulders need to be camouflaged or minimized. That kind of thinking leads to horrifying Star Trek outfits like the one you’re currently sporting. Avoid any outfit the color of toothpaste from now on. Pantsuits are kind of aging on you, for some reason.

Also: run. Ditch the heels and RUN.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Getty]

    • sherrietee

      Linebacker shoulders should not be framed.  Ever.

      • kimmeister

        This is the exact reason I had to give up my childhood dream of having an off-the-shoulder wedding dress.

    • KSpence

      She’s looking very ashamed to be tall here. 

    • jenno1013

      Was she always that skinny?  She doesn’t look good.  Hair is too suburban mom.

    • sockandaphone

      oh honey, no.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cortney-Dean/100002491593625 Cortney Dean

      Oof, the body language between those two is so painfully, obviously, bad. RUN my dear, run. Or swim. Whatever you have to do!!!

      • lovelyivy

        I am hoping that it’s a plot by the paparazzi to only highlight the worst, most cringe-inducing shots of these two as a couple. Because otherwise that is one miserably unhappy woman there.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lucía-Gavello/1253586868 Lucía Gavello

      These heels are frumpy anyway so ditch them and RUN indeed. 

      The top makes her shoulders look wider actually and her boobs look like they were unevenly stapled to her torso.

    • http://twitter.com/miggylol Miggy!

      It looks like Project Runway gave them a hospital materials challenge, and a panicking designer who’d only grabbed a bag full of scrubs kept throwing on more elements as he approached the deadline.

    • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

      I felt like she was half escaped from an aqua strait jacket.  Nope.

    • jmorino08

      Between her body language (esp. in that top picture) and the sartorial metaphor around her chest,  your heart kinda breaks for the poor girl…

    • kimmeister

      And the hair is very Lieutenant Tasha Yar.

      • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

        Exactly.  Much more so than Princess Diana.

    • Jecca2244

      the short hair is aging.

    • Jessica Goldstein

      I can deal with the hair. I can almost deal with the color. The shape could not be worse for her. She should be proud of her shoulders, but she should not dress in a way that makes them look bigger. This does terrible things to her proportions. And as you guys said, no one should deal with the philandering troll she married. Ditch the shoes, run, and change outfits as soon as you arrive at a safe place. 

    • schadenfreudelicious

      She has a tall athletic body with broad swimmer shoulders, in the right outfit that combination is wonderful, this is not the right outfit…..

    • Lilithcat

      I’d like that if it weren’t for that weird bandage around her chest and shoulders.  I hope she didn’t have to raise an arm higher than her elbow!  And those shoes have got to go.

      Honestly, the hair doesn’t strike me as being like Princess Diana’s, other than the fact that they’re both blondes.  Diana generally wore hers shorter, fluffier, layered and with bangs.

    • patticake1601

      She always looks so uncomfortable and awkward, even on her wedding say she had the same look and body language.  Broad swimmers shoulders with a wrap around bandage so tight that we can see your uneven headlights…not a great look. 

    • TomBord

      There it is again, Ladies !! 
      The ‘i’m married to a gay dude face ‘ ! 

    • Imasewsure

      It’s a weird outfit but I like it overall just because she’s not dressed like a dowager… she’s not wearing some stinking fruit bowl on her head and it (obviously) looks like she picked it out herself… you go rich girl!! But pick something better next time…

    • LJCdoc

      RUN, fast. That picture of the two of them is tragic. It looks like she’s literally cringing away from him.

    • AlexisPayne

      It also looks like a high fashion straight jacket and the whole look is octogenarian. 

    • EEKstl

      I actually really like the color (I see “Robin’s Egg Blue” vs “Toothpaste”) but this is just off the wall.  And hair is hiddy.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

      :(
      Nipples. That is all.

      • http://twitter.com/TheRedZavodnik Ginger

        LOPSIDED nipples at that!  Oof

      • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

        I was going to ask: Is it chilly in Berlin this time of year?  Because those nipples are saying “hello” through several layers of fabric.

      • carpediva

        EXACTLY. Everything else is secondary. Tragic. But secondary.

      • AZU403

        For a princess, unless you’re one of Albert’s slatternly sisters, that has got to be a first, and hopefully a last.

        I like the pants, though, and the color, too.

    • Joyce VG

      I’d take dressing like a grandmother-in-law any day over this this thing she’s wearing.  It looks really weird on her.  

    • call_me_schmeg

      naomi watts. no?

    • http://twitter.com/MFMblog MusingsFromManhattan

      She’s giving some serious Chloe Moretz face here.

    • marilyn

      Having just watched some of the old James Bond (Sean Connery) movies, I say I like the outfit.  It is refreshing, clean and elegant. The one criticism I have is that she is a busty gal, and the fabric is draped way too tight around the boobage. It is flattening her out. This look is for a flat girl, not one with boobage.  

      HOWEVER, it is for evening, and should be loaded with jewelry.  REAL DIAMOND jewelry.  And of course, she is one of the few women in the world who has impressive, real diamond jewelry.  So, she needs to pull this out of the closet at night, and sparkle it up.  Because of the pants, it will be a little unexpected, like a breath of fresh air. At least she doesn’t have to wear a hat.

      • formerlyAnon

        I thought just that: “this needs jewelry!”

    • susu11

      I always have the same reaction too when I see pictures of Princess Charlene, I just want to give that woman a hug. She always looks like she’s on the brink of tears to me. I actually don’t mind the color that much, but the shoulder wrap shawl thing is awful. I also don’t know why she’s wearing a pantsuit-she’s not Hilary Clinton. A nice pencil skirt minus the wrap would have suited her better. Poor thing, I’m rooting for her.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_YX3ZXKZRRAQL5WR5YUJN4KLZXQ fabric

      She has some impressive nips to show through all that. I like the color though.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      The aqua ace bandage confining her shoulders has GOT to go.

    • Ramona Boersma

      I actually like it because it’s different and striking. Agree the hair is boring. Also, what exactly is she doing in that marriage?? Do you really want to produce an heir into that particular environment just for a paycheck? I guess it’s the same calculation that Katie Holmes made. But no amount of money is worth the level of unhappiness these ladies have to go through…

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Clydette-Wantland/673315286 Clydette Wantland

      It looks like a straight jack.

    • In_Stitches

      I think it’s fabulous.  The color suits her well and outside of the too tight fit in the bust, the fit is classy and flattering.   Sure, it’s a little Princess Jasmine, but it’s within the royal wheel house, so why not?

      • http://twitter.com/thejessgill Jess Gill

         Thank you! That’s exactly what I was thinking – she looks like Princess Jasmine more than anything.

        • http://twitter.com/TMamBo Therese Bohn

           I actually like the color, and it’s nice to see a pantsuit– I’d just lose the huge bandage. 

    • Jangle57

      The body language is almost more interesting than her look; in that first picture it looks she’s cringing as far from his touch as she can get away with and he looks like the controlling dirty old man.  It’s only in that last picture where she appears alone that she finally looks tall and proud.  That shawl thing looks like a modern straight jacket – and maybe that’s appropriate given the circumstances. 

    • guest2visits

      I don’t mind the hair style; but it’s not as youthful as I’ve seen her wear it before.
      The color is good on her, but this pant suit needed to be the nice, simple, sleek, long dress it almost is.
      That addition around the shoulders is ridiculous; a light, floaty wrap would have been more attractive. The shoes look dated.

    • kikisayshi

      I love the color, but the rest is just awful.

    • mjude

      poor thing.  she looks scared to be near her husband. LOL

    • MilaXX

      She has a bit of a “help me” look about her, but other than the hair, I like this outfit on her. I think it’s aging because she can’t jazz it up with a big cocotail ring and funier footwear.

    • tonibaloney

      She looks just like Chloe Moretz in the third picture! Whatever that thing is on her shoulders/arms must be destroyed.

    • fringebenefit

      I think she looks great. But who cares? TLo, you are right about the most important thing–ditch the heels, girl, and get the hell out of there!

    • http://aldonsusi.blogspot.com/ Susi R

      She looks like she escaped from a mental institution! 

    • Rand Ortega

      What a gorgeous, statuesque young lady in 1 of the worst, weirdest outfits I’ve ever seen. Her breasts look like 2 glued on softballs; her shoulders look ready for the defensive line; the shoes & purse are completely wrong for the ensemble. & sadly, by her posture, she knows it (whisper: & what a horrible mistake it was marrying the bald guy).

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/C2DD5ZRX5WE4HZNNJBHERFA7OU Daisy

      Bless her, Prince Fathead is now dressing her in high-end straight-jackets.  She looks freakin’ miserable.  Somebody give her Katie Holmes’ personal cell phone number….she needs an exit strategy.

      • Pennymac

        Straight Jacket was my first thought, as well.

    • Violina23

      My first thought was that she stole Princess Jasmine’s pants…

      • kimmeister

        I’ll bet she wishes she had a magic carpet.

        • http://thehathorlegacy.com MaggieCat

           Or a pet tiger bodyguard.

    • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

      Me?  I like the color, and I totally missed any Princess Di reference in her hairstyle.  The biggest problems here are her shoes and body language.

    • http://www.lippsisters.com/ Deborah Lipp

      Also, nipples.

    • TSkot

      If she’d lose the “wrap” she’d look really cute.

    • GorgeousThings

      She’d look a whole lot better if she lost that 200 lbs of unsightly fat she’s carting around. He’s so creepy!
      That poor woman looks like she’s afraid he’s going to beat the crap out of her. 

    • SapphoPoet

      She always looks so uncomfortable and that outfit doesn’t help.

    • Pants_are_a_must

      Has she not seen Michelle Obama? FLOTUS would NEVER frame her shoulders like that.

      Contract Princess needs to quietly contact some divorce lawyers, stat, before Alba the Hutt sucks all of her spirit away.

    • nannypoo

      She doesn’t look very happy, does she? This outfit seems like an interesting idea poorly implemented. The color is awful and the straitjacket is pretty bad, but the rest of it could have worked. Well, maybe not the shoes. I like her hair. To reference Princess Diana it would have to be sprayed within an inch of its life and form a sort of forehead wing. This looks casual and pretty.

    • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

      Wow, yeah…no. I don’t mind her hair. But that outfit is just….yeah….

    • Vera L-

      Charlize Theron’s stunt double in Prometheus 2.0

    • terekirkland

      No comment on their personal lives, but I feel like without the upper arm snuggie, this outfit could have been really chic. I like the color on her, but it needs a go-big-or-go-home necklace. Something fun and funky, though, not classic and stuffy. 

    • Jessi03

      She looks like she’s terrified of getting smacked and also that she doesn’t want to be anywhere remotely near him.  Poor thing.  The outfit is not helping you hide, sweetie!  Go out there in something fabulous and show him who’s boss.

    • Jill Roberts

      I just don’t see Princess Di hair here.  PD wore hers longer, feathered, and in a brassier tone (though somehow it all managed to suit her as most everything did).  PC’s style is more Eton schoolboy, classic and chic.  It frames her gorgeous face beautifully.  Now just lose the shrug shroud, gurl…

    • Mexxoo

      I’ve been looking and looking at this, trying to decide – is that band around her upper arms THAT far off, or does the princess really have such disparagingly differntly shaped boobs?  Poor dear, many of us share in the problem that our boobs are not perfectly symmetrical.  HOWEVER – this top does THAT area (wave hand in a circle over the chest area) NO favors.  It makes it look like her boobs are pointing two wildly different directions.  Of course, much of this could have been solved by wearing the proper undergarment.  You’re a Royal, honey.  Invest in some nip-concealing bras.  They’re all the rage, here in the States!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=506473106 Mori Clark

      okay how is she wearing like 5 layers of cloth on her chest and yet i can STILL see her nips. honey, get some padding in there, please. when you’re going for the column (of toothpaste) look the nips just become highlighted and it’s all sad. 

    • PaperPusher2

      She looks like she’s been ill and lost weight. 

    • http://twitter.com/DarthJaeda Jaeda Laurez

      That first photo is just…depressing and sad. 

      Happiness makes a difference y’all. Imagine this outfit on somebody fierce and happy to wear it. Or at least Rihanna.

      • lovelyivy

        I never would have imagined it, but I gotta agree, Rihanna would have rocked the hell out of this. We’d have all thought it was bizarre and odd, criticized her hair and her nails, commented on how she can’t really sing, and loved it anyway.

    • formerlyAnon

      I think she looks uncomfortable but chic, if the two can be combined. I don’t think the wraparound stole/bandage thing really works, and I hope that’s why she looks uncomfortable.

      I also think that as long as she stays slim, her shoulders are nothing but an asset and should be cherished for how well her clothes will hang (given the fact that she can afford to have things custom made and/or altered.)

      This IS a slightly “mature” look, but maybe that’s her comfort zone when she also has to look “appropriate.”

    • http://twitter.com/Hussified Coleen

      She is a freaking ROYAL. If I was trapped in an (allegedly) loveless marriage with a head of state, you can be DAMN sure that I would have a phalanx of stylists at my disposal to make sure I looked Fierce as Shit every moment of every day just as a metaphorical F-U to the groom who (allegedly) humiliated me right before my wedding.

    • yulaffin

      I thought she looked as stiff as a Romulan.

    • TheDivineMissAnn

      Is that Royal Nipplage I see?

    • TieDye64

      Oooooooh my. Nononono honey. Tall, lovely woman with athletic shoulders. In the right silhouette she could look stunning. This just makes me sad.

    • judybrowni

      looks like a weird bondage outfit meant to entice those freaks for whom the upper arm is a fetish.

    • turtleemily

      Fancy hospital scrubs

    • joything

      That pantsuit is EXACTLY something I would love to wear, when I am 20 lbs thinner, so I have to love it up and down … but the lady’s body language is a cry for help.

    • another_laura

      I dunno, the bodice wrap kills this whole thing but….

      I like the color on her and don’t mind her wearing pants.  Without something striking like that bodice wrap in this outfit she’d be in a too-casual pantsuit kind of thing, which would be awful and we’d be sniping about that.  

      I like her hair, it suits her.  As to her body language only she knows and still photos may not tell all.

    • GillianHolroyd

      I like the outfit (and the color) and don’t mind her hair but until this girl grows a spine, couture will be wasted on her.

    • bellafigura1

      Wow. I love it. I can picture Swinton doing it infinitely more justice (with a royal purple or kelly green shoe?), but princess here is doing fine, albeit somewhat tentative (which is my only problem with the look).  And I think her hair looks terrific, very sleek and suited to her delicate features.

    • Anathema_Device

      It really looks like a cry for help, and given her marriage, I can believe it.

    • megohd

      reminds me of a dress I wanted to get when I was in 6th grade, in the mid-eighties. My mom told me I looked like one of the Golden Girls. I was mad, but looking back, she was so right.

    • Louise Bryan

      No.  It’s a curious mix of bondage and unflattering.  Terrible color and limp hair.  Just, no.

    • LinXGUA

      Awful. It’s like a nurse let a mentally challenged child to dress her.

    • RzYoung

      Jesus, it’s so bloody bad.

    • ninjac

      Her body language in the first picture makes me wonder if she is ok.

    • SophieCollier

      Could there be a worse outfit for her?  Wow.  How to make a beautiful woman look like Frankenstein.  

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_CQPXLNCBM5CZSHZZXJDHPVFS7E Buffy

      This looks better than what she usually wears.  So you can imagine…!

    • greyhoundgirl

      That’s a mighty big and mighty turquoise ace bandage.

    • greyhoundgirl

      And now I’m looking past the turquoise (took me a while) and seeing how very sad she looks.

    • Srw27

      The whole ensemble is just like her life: a hot mess.  Poor girl.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1553165860 Joseph Goins

      The hair isn’t Princess Di, at all.  Nope, i just don’t see that.  But the bandage across her breasts does seem to make her breasts look fake–very perfect spheres and all.

    • lisaepc

      she does look in pain…TLo did you not see the Royal Nips? Lets just say she is a little chilly….justsayin…

    • librarygrrl64

      An aqua pantsuit can’t help but read as “heading to Boca for some canasta” to me.