Morena Baccarin in Helmut Lang

Posted on July 26, 2012

Oh, dear, Miss Morena. Oh, DEAR.

Morena Baccarin attends the 2nd Annual GenR Summer Soiree in New York City in a Helmut Lang silk dress.

Helmut Lang Tetra Silk Printed Draped Dress

It’s a rare occurrence when we look at someone on the red carpet and blurt out “EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING HERE IS WRONG” without even thinking about it. But sweetie? Everything you are doing here is wrong.

We’ll start with the dress. It’s actually not a terrible dress, but this kind of drapey, shapeless thing never photographs well. We’re personally not fans of this style of dress – or of this dress in particular – but we wouldn’t call it a disaster or anything (although we’re appalled by any garment that adds six inches to the wearer’s waist). It’s just that a dress like this really needs some kickass styling to combat the shapelessness of it. And there is no kickass styling to be found anywhere in these pictures. We don’t know what the hell’s going on with her head, because that hairstyle is horrifyingly awful. Maybe we’re being a little hyperbolic, but … *scroll up* *scroll back down* Nope. It’s awful. And while we can tell that she is wearing makeup, we’re at a loss as to what that makeup’s actually doing for her. It’s so half-assed – and when you consider what a canvas her face is, it’s a shame it’s not being set off as well as it could be.

And finally, there are The Shoes.

THE SHOES, darlings.

Let’s run down the problems with The Shoes:

  1. They’re ugly as hell; possibly the ugliest shoes we’ve seen in a while
  2. They clash with her outfit, both in style and in color. This dress needed sandals. There’s no wiggle room here.
  3. Hack an inch or two off the heel and they’d be perfect for the Nursing Home Beauty Pageant. We don’t care what you say, them’s OLD LADY shoes.

Morena dear, you’re stunningly beautiful – even without styling and makeup. So it really must have taken some effort to make you look so plain and awkward. Our advice: a shrieking meltdown directed at everyone involved in this styling disaster, with mascara streaks dramatically running down your face and all your neck veins bulging dangerously as you scream at them until you’re hoarse. You’ll love it. It’s so cleansing.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Desiree Navarro/Getty Images]

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