Morena Baccarin in Helmut Lang

Posted on July 26, 2012

Oh, dear, Miss Morena. Oh, DEAR.

Morena Baccarin attends the 2nd Annual GenR Summer Soiree in New York City in a Helmut Lang silk dress.

Helmut Lang Tetra Silk Printed Draped Dress

It’s a rare occurrence when we look at someone on the red carpet and blurt out “EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING HERE IS WRONG” without even thinking about it. But sweetie? Everything you are doing here is wrong.

We’ll start with the dress. It’s actually not a terrible dress, but this kind of drapey, shapeless thing never photographs well. We’re personally not fans of this style of dress – or of this dress in particular – but we wouldn’t call it a disaster or anything (although we’re appalled by any garment that adds six inches to the wearer’s waist). It’s just that a dress like this really needs some kickass styling to combat the shapelessness of it. And there is no kickass styling to be found anywhere in these pictures. We don’t know what the hell’s going on with her head, because that hairstyle is horrifyingly awful. Maybe we’re being a little hyperbolic, but … *scroll up* *scroll back down* Nope. It’s awful. And while we can tell that she is wearing makeup, we’re at a loss as to what that makeup’s actually doing for her. It’s so half-assed – and when you consider what a canvas her face is, it’s a shame it’s not being set off as well as it could be.

And finally, there are The Shoes.

THE SHOES, darlings.

Let’s run down the problems with The Shoes:

  1. They’re ugly as hell; possibly the ugliest shoes we’ve seen in a while
  2. They clash with her outfit, both in style and in color. This dress needed sandals. There’s no wiggle room here.
  3. Hack an inch or two off the heel and they’d be perfect for the Nursing Home Beauty Pageant. We don’t care what you say, them’s OLD LADY shoes.

Morena dear, you’re stunningly beautiful – even without styling and makeup. So it really must have taken some effort to make you look so plain and awkward. Our advice: a shrieking meltdown directed at everyone involved in this styling disaster, with mascara streaks dramatically running down your face and all your neck veins bulging dangerously as you scream at them until you’re hoarse. You’ll love it. It’s so cleansing.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Desiree Navarro/Getty Images]

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  • http://twitter.com/pennyeager Penny Eager

    The shoes are very funny. Do you reckon they still would’ve cost, like, more than I pay in rent each month?

    • andreawey

      exactly what I was thinking Penny!

    • joything

      “Funny”! YES!  Exactly the word that jumped into my mind!  I like funny shoes.  But they have to somehow be the reverse maraschino cherry to the outfit.

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    Oh and honey that HAIR!  What were you thinking?  It is succeeding in broadening your lovely face so that you end up with a square head.  

    • http://twitter.com/Kathy_Marlow Kathy Marlow

      She’s growing out that pixie cut, but shouldn’t she be able to afford good extensions until the real stuff comes in??? They did a good wig on her in Homeland..I know it’s out there. 

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

         You would think.

      • janetjb

        Even if she didn’t’ want to go the extension route there must be someone who could tame her hair into submission for the evening.

        The same person could have warned her to ditch the shoes too.

        • TheOriginalLulu

          Agreed. She has such a lovely face and she looked amazing with that super-short hair. I bet she would look just as amazing with her hair slicked back during this awkward grow-out phase.

    • TheOriginalLulu

      Her head is almost as square as Larry King’s and that is NOT a good look.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

         And what makes it a sad moment is that she is so INSANELY gorgeous.

        • TheOriginalLulu

          Yup. Whichever jealous bitch did this to her deserves to be taken out back and shot.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/FEP56YB4DUIXBWSLIMSSSGQHWY jimmack

    OMG. After I stopped laughing at the dress. It says “beach robe” to me. I took a look at her hair. When did the “Dorothy Hamill” come back in style?

    • http://profiles.google.com/dorothymichael Dorothy & Michael n/a

       This doesn’t even remotely resemble the Dorothy Hammill wedge cut.  That’s an insult to Ms. Hammill!  Truly, though, she’d have been further ahead to go this event with her hair still wet from the shower.  At least that might have looked a little sexy.  This whole look just makes a little bile come up in my throat, I swear.

    • http://profiles.google.com/melantha.chimera Eileen Duffy

       I had a Dorothy Hammill.  That, my dear, is no Dorothy Hammill. ;)

      • Suzanne Antcliff

        I was always jealous of my sister because she always got the Dorothy Hammill while I got the “Tenille” 

        • Sartorial_She

           Now I can’t stop singing “Love…Love will keep us together…”

  • Larkin21

    *Love* the color palette but that certainly doesn’t make up for how unflattering the entire look is.

  • Alyson Epstein

    what’s with that hair?  She is usually so polished . . .

  • SewingSiren

    Just because a dress is expensive doesn’t mean it’s a red carpet cocktail dress. This dress would be fine poolside with a swimsuit under it and a refreshing drink in your hand. Worn as suggested by the hosts with flat sandals. 
    Worn as is it is, terrible. 

    • Celandine1

      The dress would be great for a poolside cocktail party. Those shoes had to have come from Goodwill and have been sitting around since the 80s. This look is all so tragic. 

  • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

    The shoes also look uncomfortable, so they don’t even have utility on their side!

    • TheOriginalLulu

      Ugly AND useless. Like a lot of people here in the office.

  • lizajane1776

    Um, the shoes fit? And from the side, the dress isn’t horrible.
    That is as good as I can get.

    • CT14

      That was my reaction, too.  They fit.

      And “Oh, look, she’s growing her hair out.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    Morena dear, 1985 called. They want their shoes back. 

    I can see that dress with some sandals lounging at a resort pool.  Not in this setting though. Definitely not. 

    • out for a walk

      They DO look like they probably are vintage shoes. I feel I may have seen this very pair at Goodwill.

  • sesomai

    I just noticed how much she looks like Ashley Judd here. Maybe it’s the hair? 

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Linda-Harris/1358701372 Linda Harris

      At first I thought it was Ashley Judd, too

    • Celandine1

      I thought it was weird how much she looked like Ashley Judd, especially it the last picture.

  • janetjb

    Are you sure this isn’t a flag from some unknown country fashioned into a dress?

    • Celandine1

      LMFAO!!!! Maybe it was a challenge “winnner” from PR and she had to wear it for a red carpet appearance.

  • http://twitter.com/TMamBo Therese Bohn

    The shoes are straight out of the 80′s.  The hair is confusing, and that dress would not flatter anyone — makes her legs look thick. Aside from that, she’s a very lovely girl. 

    • MilaXX

       bathing suit coverup

  • Scarlet39

    She looks incredibly… stout, in the first picture. 

    And those shoes are a 1980s nightmare. 

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/WRIGZZ4I2MRXWVTR5MQVH5PNB4 Henry

    I can hardly believe this; Baccarin is one of the great beauties around today.  Her stylists (if there were any) should be shot.

  • Ceur

    Do we know where the shoes are from? I wanna laugh at someone.

    • littlemac8

      Maybe they’re from the bottom of her closet?!!  Hideous!

  • mjude

    the shoes made me laugh.  WTF girl?

    • MilaXX

       They look like something cobbled together for a challenge on PR accessories.

  • formerlyAnon

    Thank goodness she’s so lovely. It reduces the damage to “that’s unflattering” when on another it could have been “you look awful.”

    With, as our leaders state, sandals, this is a lovely “summer gathering with your besties” dress. The kind of gathering where you could wear a borrowed swimsuit & wouldn’t cringe when someone breaks out a camera.  The hair, ditto. It’s trying to replicate something your stylist did all on you own when you’re on vacation.

    Those are not just old lady shoes, they’re old ladies shoes from some forgotten decade.

    Thank goodness she’s so lovely. And I like the colors in the dress.

  • Jessica Goldstein

    What I find most disturbing is that she can do everything wrong and  still look better than me on my best day. As others have said, that is a pool-side dress to be worn with flat sandals. She can take consolation from the fact that she probably looks good screaming at her stylist, too.

  • Violina23

    I was trying to think of something snarky to say, but this just makes me too sad…

  • Charmella…a DIVA at large!

    Sorry Morena! Looks like you’re draped in the flag of an obscure Olympic country! …and those shoes are beyond Payless – they seem to be from the back corner at the Thrift store.

  • annie_wonder

    Oh wow, that is one of the most unflattering outfits I’ve seen in a long time. And she looks like she’s doing lunges in the first photo. How did it all go so wrong?!  

  • MilaXX

     WOW! That is bad. It is the rare celeb who gets everything wrong. Even Christina Hendrix would look at that ad say, “Girl you jacked up.”

    • lovelyivy

       Then they could reminisce about their time together on Firefly! /endgeekgirl

  • sagecreek

    On the other hand, it’s refreshing to learn that even Morena B can look like shit from time to time.

    • charlotte

      But she is still incredibly beautiful and her beauty makes up for this mess. Imagine these clothes being worn by someone more ordinary- looking…

      • sagecreek

        Oh, yeah, she still looks better than I ever looked in my entire life. I was just clutching at straws…

  • Le_Sigh

    I want to take that thing off the top of her head and burn it.  That cannot be coming from her head.  Its like George Costanza’s toupee episode from Seinfeld decided to attach itself to her. 

  • lilibetp

    Is that dress supposed to be a bathing suit coverup?  The styling on the model looks kind of Hamptons-y.

  • call_me_schmeg

    how did this even happen?

  • RzYoung

    Those shoes are totally East London Ironic Charity Shop Vintage, yuck

  • elemspbee

    WTF happened to her?

    • TheOriginalLulu

      I think a gang of evil, hateful stylists have kidnapped her and done this to her. Someone needs to save her.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_B3CIEK7XAS3YKAAKFJFMIIKC4I Nacogdoches

    I love this dress, but it’s so much more “throw it on to grab a glass of wine at some island cafe” than whatever this event is.  

    And those shoes not only look like old-lady shoes, they look OLD. What are they, hand-me-downs?

  • jmorino08

    The makeup actually appears to have added bags under her eyes! That is an impressive feat of hackery.

    Also, to borrow a phrase from the Fug Girls, that dress is ridiculously stumpifying!

  • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

    I appreciate the IDEA of that dress.  But it makes her hips look wide and her boobs look nonexistent.  Not being Kors or Nina, I can concede that there are some women who would like their hips emphasized in that fashion — hell, I know a couple women who I make their hips look a little wider to give them more of waist, and they prefer it — but I don’t think there are too many who want hips and no boobs.  Generally if you want hips, it’s because you want curves, and most women want them up top too. 

    • LesYeuxHiboux

       She already is fairly curvy, which is why dresses like this are unlikely to flatter her. They hang straight down from the ends of the tits, obscuring all shape. This is a dress for one of those “coltish” girls.

  • HobbitGirl

    I accidentally literally bumped into her at Dragon*Con a few years ago, and she’s TINY. Speaking as a short gal myself, this sort of dress never ever works on someone who’s not 8 feet tall and 82 pounds.

  • YoungSally

    I actually like the dress on the model — but then I love the whole 20s thing.  Morena’s stance (and some poor fit work) are making it look a lot worse in the photos …but those shoes…..God, I hope those ain’t coming back in style…but then every style tip this season is saying “colorblocking”

  • Judy_J

    I actually gasped when I saw the close up of those shoes.  They are stupendeously ugly, and cheap looking to boot.  What or who in heaven’s name thought those shoes were a good idea?  Everything else that’s wrong with this look pales in comparasion to those ugly, ugly shoes.

  • NDC_IPCentral

    Poorly wrapped bath towel and winter shoes from, oh, the 1950s.  I barely remember multi-color, patchwork shoes from way back then, and these are reminiscent of ‘em.  This is an apparel botch on all fronts, backs and sides.

    I love the BK “obscure country flag” observations!

  • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

    I’ll bet she owns those shoes and that they have fond memories for her.  And I like the dress.  Sue me.

    • PinkLemon

       I like the dress too. I’m thinking……..these just may be the ugliest shoes I’ve ever seen on here. Could we have a contest? Maybe? Cuz these would win. Or Hannah Simone’s clunky nudes from the other day.

  • Judy_S

    A dress that makes a tall woman appear to be sitting down when standing. Impressive.
    She looks pretty and comfortable, and  if there were no photographers or grotesque price tags I can imagine her going home after a pleasant evening and sighing a bit as she realized that not one single person had told her how great she looks, and hanging the unfavored dress in the back of the closet or wondering if her niece would like a hand-me-down. As it is….

  • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

    Good lord, those shoes! I think they’re leftover from 1986. Possibly from Thom McCann. 

    • sagecreek

      I just spit on my keyboard. Hadn’t thought of Thom McCann in years!

    • kimmeister

      Their shape is identical to some pumps my mom bought c. 1986 to be her “fancy” shoes in celebration of her medical career.

    • Dagney

      I was thinking Leeds.  Or Sbiccas.  

  • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gabriella M

    I think the hair is so bad because she’s growing out her pixie, no? See also: reasons I am terrified to hack off all my hair, even though I really want to. 
    Old lady shoes is right. Bleh. 
    The pattern on this dress reminds me of the type of curtains you see in old Miami hotels.

  • AuntieAnonny

    That is some Julianne Moore level wrongness right there.

    • Adriana_Paula

      Nice.

    • Adriana_Paula

      Nice.

  • http://twitter.com/GuidosDaddy Jason M. Galloway

    Beach wrap from the Jacklyn Smith Collection, shoes from Value City. (she is SO gorgeous, though!)

  • http://twitter.com/mizenkay Nancy K.

    Pair this dress with some flip flops and she’s picking up the kids from swimming lessons at the club. Also, she should rethink growing out her hair. The pixie cut was perfect for her.

  • TheOriginalLulu

    While I do appreciate the spirit of this dress, it’s really doing nothing for her. Maybe you’re right that it needed kickass styling or maybe it’s a dress better suited for a VERY tall and VERY slim woman or maybe both. But she should have walked away from this one. WHY is her hair so wonky?? It’s killing me.
    The shoes are insane. Even my 86-year old grandmother would say that those are old lady shoes.  

    • PinkLemon

       haha! Yes, that’s a ‘TWIGS ONLY’ dress. The Duchess would probably rock it.

      • TheOriginalLulu

        I’m assuming you’re talking about the Duchess of Cambridge, but I just had a giggle fit imagining Michael Kors sachaying around in this ensemble. Thanks for that! :P 

        • PinkLemon

          hahaha yeah, right after i wrote that, i had a feeling it would be interpreted as such. haha

  • onyxkatze

    This makes me miss Inara even more.

  • Snailstsichr

    My Grandma had polyester pantsuits that would be killer with those shoes!

  • kcliff

    The shoes are actually the only part I like!

  • crash1212

    I actually like the dress and think it’s appropriate for a summer gathering – it’s everything else that’s just awful. What did they even DO to her hair? I can’t figure it out. Did they use side bump-its? Is it long and the sort of swept it back? GAH! And those shoes are a crime against humanity – I do believe they are the ugliest shoes I’ve seen in quite some time…and there are some ugly-ass shoes out there. Such a shame…so much potential there. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1129137319 Paula Pertile

    It reminds me of a thing I threw together for a toga party once (remember toga parties?).
    The shoes should be cremated.

  • plinkiedoodle

    Poor dear….

  • GorgeousThings

    Those shoes look like they came straight out of a bad ’80s movie – a “Working Girl” wannabe

    That kind of dress only looks good when paired with sandals and a wide brimmed hat on location in St. Barth’s. Other than that, it should be banned from being worn.

  • Joyce VG

    this is bizarre.  

  • altermyego

    If you just look at the top half of the dress it doesn’t look bad. Pretty, artistic material. Then it goes so wrong. I especially hate the ‘tug’ from her thigh to her waist. We hear it all the time on PR – edit! edit! edit! Why don’t big time designers have to do the same?

    The shoes are probably from the PiperLime wall from PR several seasons ago. Something I’m glad to see is gone from this season’s work room.

  • PinkLemon

    who in the???what????WHY?????? Ms. Saldana would be killa in that dress. AAaaaand that’s about it. I CAN’T with those shoes. GAWD.

  • EEKstl

    Just add “Me” and she’s standing in front of the right backdrop.

  • kikisayshi

    By “dress” you meant “sheet draped over her shoulders and around her waist”, right?

    • kikisayshi

       Or just a hot mess all around.

  • Patricia Gillett

    Whoever is responsible for this needs a Stylist Time Out. How do you make Morena Baccarin look THIS terrible? The dress is bad enough but the shoes need to be taken out behind yonder shed and given what for. 

  • EEKstl

    Add “Me” and she’s standing in front of the right backdrop.

  • sashaychante

    At least the dress is appropriate for SUMMER.  So tired of seeing fall looks in July.  Those shoes are just really, really unfortunate.  I seem to remember this type of shoe from the ’80s, and they stand in testament to the fact that some trends should just be forgotten.

  • Dagney

    Oh dear, those shoes are from the bargain rack at the Dollar Store.  

    The dress is cute but it obviously meant to be a summer-beach-sandals garment, and it’s just too big for her.  And let the hair….just….no.

    The makeup is Clinique counter makeover all the way.

  • marilyn

    That dress would work for a model who is 6′ tall and a size 0.  The colors are questionable, and the only good thing about it is the choice of colors for her.  

  • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

    kill me now, i like the shoes.  probably because i’m an old lady.

  • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

    kill me now, i like the shoes.  probably because i’m an old lady.

  • PaulaBerman

    I agree with all you said but I think you really went easy on her about her HAIR. WTF is up with the mushroom head? Remember how enviably thick and wavy her hair was as Inara on Firefly? She was perfection. Now she looks incredibly frumpy. Grow your hair back, Morena. The twee short hair thing has run its course.

  • PaulaBerman

    I agree with all you said but I think you really went easy on her about her HAIR. WTF is up with the mushroom head? Remember how enviably thick and wavy her hair was as Inara on Firefly? She was perfection. Now she looks incredibly frumpy. Grow your hair back, Morena. The twee short hair thing has run its course.

  • Adriana_Paula

    She needs to whip out her pointy lizard tail and kill her stylist with it.

  • guest2visits

    This is pretty awful.  And I’m pretty sure one of the PR designers has this in their personal wardrobe. With flip-flops.
    It just looks too much like a sloppy bath towel (it kind of reminds me of something Jerell would wear).
    That with the hair-do makes it look like she just stepped out of the shower. And then there’s the old lady slippers….
    She’s obviously very pretty; this is a strange choice.
     

  • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

    I kinda like the dress, but the styling kills it. I get that she’s growing out her hair, but it still could have been styled – even without extensions – a little more flatteringly.

    Those shoes need to be taken out back and burned. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=720742723 Sarah Winningham

    She should have known better about that dress – it might look decent on someone else, somewhere else, but it is obviously not designed for anyone with actual boobage.

  • msdamselfly

    What a gorgeous woman!

  • demidaemon

    This is a beach towel pretending it is a dress.

  • oohsparkley!

    And she’s still so dang pretty, in spite of all the handicapping her stylist gave her. Are those shoes from Goodwill?

  • rumcg66

    I think my Nana HAD those shoes. Like, that exact pair. Oh dear.

  • aristida_girl


     Our advice: a shrieking meltdown directed at everyone involved in this styling disaster, with mascara streaks dramatically running down your face and all your neck veins bulging dangerously as you scream at them until you’re hoarse. You’ll love it. It’s so cleansing.” I couldn’t agree more…

  • CassieLee22

    so much wrong happening here  Also what is with the random pickup thing in the skirt so WEIRD!

  • ZnSD

    omg that dress and those shoes and that hair? I. Just. Can’t. I love her, but that outfit: kill it with fire.

  • clairellis

    This is bad. Very, very bad.

  • random_poster

    The post title should have been “Morena Baccarin in Helmut Hair”.