Oh, Steffi. You make us laugh.
We’ve learned to overcome our initial reaction to her, which was “THIS is what everyone’s talking about? This Madonna retread?!? Please.” It helped that most of her songs were catchy, her message was largely positive, and her sense of fashion is ridiculous good fun. But she still manages to say or do things that occasionally have us rolling our eyes, like when she releases her new fragrance and is forced to walk back previous comments where she said she wanted it to smell “like blood and semen.”
“It was taken out of my own blood sample, so it’s a sense of having me on your skin. I wanted to extract sort of the feeling and sense of blood and semen from molecular structures, so that’s where [the rumors] came from. That is in the perfume, but it doesn’t smell like that. Actually, the perfume smells like an expensive hooker.”
Tagline genius! “You won’t smell like jizz when you put on my perfume, but you will smell like a hooker!” Don Draper would be proud. Who wouldn’t run out to the store to grab a bottle of Gaga after hearing that?
According to the label, the perfume smells like “tears of Belladonna, crushed heart of tiger orchidea, with a black veil of incense, pulverized apricot, and, the combinative essences of saffron and honey drops.”
Tears! Crushed hearts! Black veils! Oh, the exquisite pain of being a Little Monster! Even her ingredients are melodramatic. We think the next step for Gaga is a show on the Food Network. “To make my anti-bullying cupcakes, you will need a black veil of Dutch cocoa, the crushed heart of a vanilla seed, and the tears of two unborn chickens. Fold gently, lest you hurt their feelings.”
Yes, we’re total bitches. But we can at least say the ad campaign’s pretty eye-catching and the bottle’s kind of beautiful.
But come on. That’s totally early ’90s Madge.
[Photo Credit: Steven Klein via thefashionspot.com]