Kate Beckinsale in Christian Dior

Posted on July 30, 2012

Apparently, judging by the pictures, everyone at this photocall woke up moments ago from sleeping face down for the previous ten hours. Everyone’s got sleepy eye and puffy face.

 

Kate Beckinsale attends the “Total Recall” photocall in Los Angeles in a Christian Dior dress paired with Brian Atwood pumps and Dana Rebecca Designs earrings.

Brian Atwood ‘Maniac’ Pump

Darlings, in the history of the ladyshoe, could there possibly be a more horrifying development than the introduction of the satin platform pump? Is this going to be a thing now? Because we may take to our beds in protest.

What a weird look. She’s got Bump-It hair, a dress that fades into her skin, and a pair of ridiculous cartoon shoes on. Plus the makeup is rendering her face kind of flat and moon-ish and the earrings are too showy for the rest of the look. Honey, you look like you need to go back to bed and get a couple more hours of sleep. Go ahead. We’ll make your excuses to everyone.

[Photo Credit: Getty, brianatwood.com]

    • Terri Smith

      I may be the last guest to this particular party, but has our Lady Beckinsale gotten some work done?  She looks like she’s half-way toward an actual human facial expression in each of these shots.

      • http://twitter.com/andakat andakat

        I agree. Her face is looking very stretched here.

      • kingderella

        its indeed possible. her face is looking weird as hell.
        youd think shed have done it during one of the more quiet moments in her career, not while she has a movie to promote.
        or maybe she pissed off her make-up artist somehow.

      • EveEve

        And speaking of half-ways – she’s apparently only got one nipple now…the right one has apparently gone missing.

        • Wendi126

          Look closer- you can see it in the last pic- both she and her right nipple seem to be shriveling at the touch of beard guy

      • Le_Sigh

         Right??  Something weird about the contours of her cheekbones don’t seem…natural.  That and the horribly pancakey makeup.  It looks like they blasted her in the face with liquid foundation.

      • http://essays.tumblr.com/ Nicholas

        It’s just the make-up.

        Dianna Agron constantly puts on a big cake of make-up, and it makes her look non-human, because the huge layer of make-up erases all contours of the facial features. Like Beckinsale, Agron is one of the most beautiful women in the world—and they both rock the cheekbones—which makes the make-up faux par an even bigger tragedy.I don’t understand why I as a guy can see that the make-up on the women is so blatantly awful, but what do I know. Maybe they have some very disagreeable acne they don’t know how to treat or something.

      • Jessi03

        That’s what I was going to ask.  I can’t tell if she got work done or if it’s just terrible makeup.  Stretched, puffy, and flat all at the same time.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lindsay-Maki/100003637687787 Lindsay Maki

        She looks to have had a nose job early in her career. I watched a movie on Netflix Instant recently and was shocked at what a difference it made. And her eyebrows! So much better! But I did like her skin tone more early on, as the palest person I appreciate seeing other pale people (Anne Hathaway in TDKR has boosted my confidence approx. 394058%). These pics make her look a little fem-bot, which I hope will be a one time event. 

    • moppet

      “Darlings, in the history of the ladyshoe, could there possibly be a more
      horrifying development than the introduction of the satin platform
      pump?”
      Minnie Mouse and Daisy Duck beg to diff.

      • Abigail Speltz

        So true, but in a “girl that’s not your shoe” moment, all satin platform pump-wearers should pack them up and send them to the mouse/duck of their choice. 

      • AudreysMom

         and they can get them dyed to match for the wedding of their choice.

        • Jessi03

          That’s totally what I thought, too.  DTM shoes are…in?  Ew.

      • TieDye64

        Yeah, it’s fine on a cartoon. 

    • StellaZafella

      So…there IS such a thing as Too Much Bare Minerals.
      They all look like they got as far as the base and forgot the rest of the make-up.

      • Sobaika

        I think it’s more that they didn’t contour correctly (or at all).

        • BazoDee

          Yep -this. The made her face a beautiful blank canvas and forgot to add back in the color and shape. She is in desperate need of contouring. 

          • TheOriginalLulu

            She’s in desperate need of new hair and makeup gays.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      That is one shitty make up job, if you can see the line of demarcation at her hair line. 

      • Snailstsichr

         And the lip color is just tragic.

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

           I also just noticed that in the shot with her hands weirdly pushed forward, the skin of her arms is a totally different shade from that of her hands.
          Some  one  did  n’t  fi  nish,…..

          • SassieCassy

            I think thats normal, hands fade quicker because people wash them all the time

      • kimmeister

        I can’t see/hear the phrase “line of demarcation” without thinking of Ted Gibson from What Not to Wear.

      • NCDFan

        I noticed the funny lines too, then I realized that the lighting for this photocall has to be coming from the sides. Her costars’ shadows fall on her at  really awkward angles. It’s really apparent in the closeup shot where it looks like she has really dark bronzer or something on her face which doesn’t show in the other pics.

    • Sobaika

      Meh. She looks fine. Not her best outfit, but it’s terribly hard for her to look bad.

      • http://twitter.com/janedonuts Jane Donuts

        I actually was just going to say I think this is the first I’ve ever seen her actually look bad. Tough to do for such a beautiful woman. 

    • Snailstsichr

      And yet, for all her failings, she looks more polished than anyone else in the shots.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

         Not hard considering that the boys just rolled out of bed, picked some rumpled stuff up off the floor and showed up.

        • SassieCassy

          There were pictures of biel from the same event, ick

          I swear that girl cant dress (nor can her stylist i guess) and she cant act. why is she here

          • Sobaika

            I think she fits the bill as Generic Hot Female Kicking Butt. But that’s where her range begins and ends.

            • emcat8

              All I can ever see are her teeth. She can’t even close her mouth, those veneers are so huge, and so she looks like a rodent. I’ve never understood the love for Biel. (Man, am I catty today. Menopause is making me such a whiny bitchface.)

    • Sobaika

      Edit: This was supposed to be in reply to StellaZafella. I hate when disqus acts up.

    • Vlasta Bubinka

      That dress seems to be more interesting than her… I guess I just don’t get her appeal.

    • http://twitter.com/Nancer Nancer

      Um.. (hides her head in shame)… I actually like the shoes….  

      • Snailstsichr

         I like the color.

        • http://twitter.com/Nancer Nancer

           Yes! It’s a beautiful color!

    • Patricia Gillett

      Dress wrong, shoes wrong, make-up REALLY wrong. This is a team fail. 

    • ChiKat67

      At least she put in some effort.  What’s up with the untucked denim shirt dude’s who’s name I don’t know? Why is Colin dressing like Johnny Depp from the waist down & a typical Hollywood douche from the waist up.

      • StellaZafella

         Because, sadly, he’s become just another Hollywood douche who would love to be Johnny Depp.

        • formerlyAnon

          Ya know, I’m generally (though not invariably) pro-Depp, but that strikes me as an unusually damning characterization. I almost feel sorry for the guy. 

          • StellaZafella

             It wasn’t intended as an insult, not really…just a personal observation. The career arcs of the two are clearly different. Colin started out to be the next “Great Mad Celt” ala Richard(s) Harris & Burton or even Peter O’toole. Lately he’s been the go-to guy for 80’s/90’s horror remakes…not the stuff of greatness.
            I’m an avid Depp fan, for many reasons, but mostly because, he takes chances. Sometimes he flops…but he clearly has a hell of a lot of fun doing what he’s doing and, like it or not, even the “Pirates” series has made a mint so far but is also fun to watch. Who wouldn’t want to be Johnny Depp at the top of his game?

            Depp makes some reeaallly ‘douchey’ sartorial choices sometimes…but with him, I don’t care because, even then, he fails because he takes chances.

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/FEP56YB4DUIXBWSLIMSSSGQHWY jimmack

        Because he is a typical Hollywood douche, that’s why.

    • LesYeuxHiboux

      She should lose everything but the earrings (it’s kind of mesmerizing how well they echo the colors in her eyes) and start over. The satin platform pumps are making my skin crawl. 

    • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

      But she also has a guy staring at her boobs, so that’s something for her ego to hold onto at least…

    • AthenaJ

      I’ve never seen Kate Beckinsale look so un-KateBeckinsaleish

    • kingderella

      cute dress, but about everything else is wrong here. i dont actually mind the pumps, but theyre in the wrong colour for this dress. her make-up is horrific; or maybe she has, like terri already suggested, indeed gotten work done. the earrings are too large and not that beautiful anyway.

    • kimmeister

      I like the earrings, because they add some pizzazz to a relatively plain dress (which I would totally wear).

    • sagecreek

      She’s probably ashamed.

      I’ve seen that trailer three times, and I’ve hated it a little more each time.

      It’s okay, Kate. Boat payments. Keep that in mind. Boat payments.

      • Catiline

        The trailer looks awful.  However, John Cho, Bill Nighy and Bryan Cranston are in it, which means I’m pretty much doomed to see it anyway. 

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/FEP56YB4DUIXBWSLIMSSSGQHWY jimmack

        Yes, the movie trailer is everywhere. You can just tell by the scenes used in the trailer that the film is in trouble. Let’s all go see something else.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/63F4DF4VDHSF2LPYOSWO5ZHAGU AdrienneD

      Beige dress + nude lip color = super bland boring fail. 

    • HobbitGirl

      Satin shoes are never going to NOT scream “bridesmaid” to me. Especially in a color that looks like it was dyed to match a dress from David’s Bridal.

    • Lilithcat

      I think that her outfit is so boring that it’s putting her, and everyone else, to sleep.

      On the other hand, at least she doesn’t look as though she slept in the back seat of a VW beetle, like those guys do.

    • Kayceed

      The “natural” face almost always photographs poorly. Why does this continue?

      • BazoDee

        Because every now and again -someone like Halle Berry pulls it off. This version is downright dreadful though. 

    • fursa_saida

      It cracks me up how the Biel got cropped out of the first shot. 

    • http://twitter.com/sebwfu Shannon Beamer

      La Beckinsale looks like a mannequin — albeit a very pretty mannequin. The make-up probably is not helping things (who am I kidding, it is a whole lot of awful). The shoes make me ragey, so I will choose to ignore them.  I otherwise do not hate the outfit, but it sure isn’t inspiring on any level.  I guess she figured that she could show up in a neutral, blah outfit with heinous makeup and still outshine Jessica Biel.  On that level, she succeeded. 

    • EEKstl

      Here’s how poor Kate could have saved this look:
      1. Stronger lip (might I suggest a matte red?)
      2. Good-sized hoop earrings (much more clean yet still reads “important”).  These earrings are way too fussy with that neckline.
      3. SHOES THAT AREN”T THOSE.  Might I suggest a fierce sandal, as your dress is so bland, uh, I mean classic that it can take it.  Put those all together and she might have been on to something he

      And in what universe does burnt orange go with taupe?  We need to immediately gather an army of TLo minions (with TLo at the helm, of course), go there, and conquer it.

      • Tatiana Luján

        In what universe is shiny burnt orange a good color?

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      Is that her nipple poking out in the last picture?

    • BazoDee

      Her hair is so dark in the front it looks like she’s wearing a large hair band. 
      I like the dress and I approve of the red color if not this particular execution of it. 
      I love the earrings -I think the add a nice pop
      Her make-up is dreadful! 

    • BeeBeauNYC

      That guy cannot stop looking at her tits. Everything in these pics is just meh.

    • MilaXX

      The guys are okay, nothing offensive, but nothing impressive either.  I don’t mid the dress on her, it’s everything that doesn’t work. Someone needs to find whoever decided that satin platform pumps was a good idea and kill them now. The fact that she decided to have a pop of color with those things is just compounding a bad idea. The earrings are too showy, the makeup is one dimensional & the hair is tragic.

    • TheOriginalLulu

      Satin shoes will never not read BRIDESMAID to me. And bridesmaid wear is truly one of the most horrifying things in life.

    • http://janeaustensworld.wordpress.com/ Vic

      On my best day I don’t look a third as good as Ms. Beckinsale in this image. 

      • formerlyAnon

        Oh, honey. You’ve got lots of company.

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/FEP56YB4DUIXBWSLIMSSSGQHWY jimmack

        Oh, I bet you do. You are pretty cute.

    • Judy_J

      Those pumps have “bridesmaid DTM” written all over them.

      • mjude

        LOL you are so right.

      • Tatiana Luján

        What does “DTM” mean?

        • Judy_J

          Dyed to Match. It used to be a thing to have your shoes dyed to match your dress.

          • Tatiana Luján

            Thanks! I HATE DTM shoes.

    • mom2ab

      You know how we were all complaining about the inappropriate Christmas/NY Eve dresses on the RC in July?  If this is the alternative we may have to rethink…

    • mjude

      everything is just wrong.

    • SophieCollier

      Her airbrushed makeup (that’s gotta be what that is) is creeping me out.  She doesn’t look like herself at all here.

    • antheapena

      Cartoon shoes is right. So klumpy in a Kardash-kinda way

    • kittenwithaquip

      The guy ogling her tits and ass is actually her husband, Len Wiseman. I’m looking to see if he directed the film, too. He directs her in most of those “Underworld” movies.

    • kittenwithaquip

      Len Wiseman is also the director of the film.
       

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/FEP56YB4DUIXBWSLIMSSSGQHWY jimmack

        Yet another reason to avoid this film which is not getting good advance press.

    • Tatiana Luján

      I love the earrings and I don’t thin they’re too much for the look. I don’t like the hairdo or the lip color, but the only thing I really hate are those awful shoes.

    • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

      I love that dress, but I hate that color.

      As for the satin pump on steroids, this is what happens when drag queens can marry.

    • bellafigura1

      Holy mackeral, maybe someone’s figured out how to photoshop faces for the red carpet in real life!  ‘Cause that’s what she looks like.

    • granddelusion

      Does she play Sharon Stone in this movie?

    • http://wipgirl.wordpress.com/ kristel

      On the other hand, at least she didn’t show up in a t-shirt or an untucked-button down.

    • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

      god is a gay man, and he is unleashing his judgement upon us.  repent, or he will open the fourth seal, and rain down wrath on the oscars in the form of nude satin peeptoe platform pumps, with ankle straps.  

      • formerlyAnon

        First chuckle-out-loud of this post. I thank you. I needed that.

    • PeaceBang

      I remember Miss Beckinsale when she was the moon-faced, buck-toothed ingenue in Kenneth Branagh’s “Much Ado About Nothing.” Any bone structure she has was bought and paid for. It always weirds me out to see her.

    • formerlyAnon

      Her hair is weird, but if she’d worn the pink version of the pumps and gone with an old lady pale pink-tinged champagne nail, the ensemble would have had a pleasing unity.

      Mr. suit jacket with jeans is wearing at least 4 different shades of black/grey. It’s not photographing well.

    • guest2visits

      Agree, a nice mess. Although I get what she was going for- the hair is just lumpy. I don’t like the earrings. I don’t like the shoes.
      It would be better if the hair was smooth, and down – or just a simple ponytail. She’s got enough going on with the high neck.
      The shoes could be alot of different things; but not these satin-y ones, I don’t understand the color choice either.
      I do like the dress itself on her.

    • dramamajor

      Her shoes are giving me FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE

    • http://www.facebook.com/bert.keeter Bert Keeter

      I like the dress…just not fitting well at arms…needs to be cut away n let her breath! Like hair but agree makeup is half finished…nice foundation now some COLOR PLEASE! I dont mind the satin pump…we have see worse! OUI?

    • TieDye64

      Oh Dear God, I just can’t with this. She looks like a very poorly styled doll. Yikes!

    • RzYoung

      yeuch

    • holdmewhileimnaked

      i actually think she looks kinda sorta, well, nice. it’s not what i would wear, mind, even if i could afford it, & it’s pretty bland, but it doesnt look all that bad on the abovenoted.

      agreed, btw, almost mostly about the shoes. mostly almost, though, cos theyre gonna pick up schmutz just about immediately &, of course, once they got it it aint gonna go away too easy. i like the earrings however.

      otoh, whoever the lady is on the left? i think she’s got something way more intriguing cooking sartorially. cant say about anything else in her life but i like the quarter of a dress i currently see.

      the guys, you know, je ne sais pas.

    • http://twitter.com/auntyberyl Monica

      She looks as if she’s been replaced with a wax version of herself.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/FEP56YB4DUIXBWSLIMSSSGQHWY jimmack

      Well she tried, at least. If Heidi was watching, she would claim the dress fabric looks cheap. Which it does. VISA polyester or Dacron polyester? You decide and let me know.

      Her face has that weird cellophane mask look to it. Scary. Looks like someone who had a makeover at the Macy’s cosmetic counter.

      Looks like guys put in no effort at all. Including not shaving. How I long for Hollywood gliry days when a film opening meant some serious glam outfits.