Jennifer Lopez in Tom Ford

Posted on July 26, 2012

Thanks to our Fairy Blogsisters, we absolutely can’t look at a picture of J Lo without hearing “Hola, Lovers.”

Jennifer Lopez celebrates her birthday with her boyfriend in a Tom Ford dress paired with Christian Louboutin shoes.

Tom Ford Fall 2012 Collection

Christian Louboutin ‘Bis Un Bout’ Pump

Y’know? We have to say, we’re disappointed. We would have expected J Lo celebrating the anniversary of her 29th birthday with her clearly bi-curious boytoy to be more of a spectacle. Where’s the glitter, Jenny? The snakeskin? The patches of J Lo skin peeking through in less-than-elegant places? The fur? The diamonds? Sure it’s tight and it’s red and it’s showing off major skin acreage (as well as the Lopez moneymaker) when she walks away, but as far as impact dresses go, we wouldn’t even put this in J Lo’s personal Top Twenty. And it’s not like her to miss an opportunity to diva her ass up all over the place.  Sad. We expected you to come out looking like a disco ball in a fur coat, girl.

Still; we’ll give her credit for one thing: she’s the only person who’s managed to make those ridiculous shoes almost work, if you squint a little.

 

[Photo Credit: Getty, tomford.com, christianlouboutin.com]

    • http://twitter.com/janedonuts Jane Donuts

      She really almost never misses. But she seems like such an awful person that it’s impacting my ability to look upon her favorably these days. 

      • Bree The Vole

        What has she done? I know she’s self-centered and thinks too highly of herself but otherwise she seems to be harmless.

        • http://twitter.com/janedonuts Jane Donuts

          Narcissists are never harmless.

          • http://twitter.com/AmandaMBetts Amanda M. Betts

            they just look creepy on people’s actual feet. And I know it’s JLo, but that back is tack-a-licious...SkilledExplorer.blogspot.com

      • Vickiefantastico

        She’s one of those people that I want to hate, but she seems so darned likeable and friendly when I see her in the movies or on TV. Perhaps that’s her evil plan. To trick us into thinking she’s fabulous when really she’s out to take over the world.

    • Clueless_Jock

      She looks good.

      • formerlyAnon

         But she’d look better if the back were just cut to be open, not furnished with a zipper to give the illusion that we’ve caught her disrobing.

        • BrightsideSusan

          Oh – that’s what that is…

        • Celandine1

          Oh wow so very tacky …

        • filmcricket

          Well said. Plus from the front, it looks like her armpits have got gills.

    • Maria Rosenfire

      Ye Gods and little fishes I hate those shoes– they just look creepy on people’s actual feet. And I know it’s JLo, but that back is tack-a-licious.

    • Violina23

      Ugh, those shoes need to die a horrible fiery death

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        Every last stank footy pair of them, worldwide.

      • AR16

         What I’m really starting to worry about is when the cheap knock-offs of these start appearing and I have to look at them on the subway.

        • JasmineAM

          The already have them LOL. on makemechic, i think. I saw a girl a Youtube doing a video about dupes for these shoes specifically.

    • Stratos Bacalis

      a) It’s her 43rd birthday b) she looks really elegant, something I would not say she usually looks like or for that Tom Ford gold monstrosity either c) the shoes are really chic. Pity you seem to want her to look tacky.

      • boweryboy

        I think saying it was her 29th birthday was a joke and JLo usually brings the tacky so it’s kind of surprising to see her being so demure, especially on such a celebratory occasion.

      • http://twitter.com/phd_tv Heather Barkman

        They said it’s the anniversary of her 29th birthday, not her actual 29th birthday 

      • http://twitter.com/phd_tv Heather Barkman

        They said it’s the anniversary of her 29th birthday, not her actual 29th birthday 

      • BazoDee

        Why so serious? 
        a) T & Lo know exactly what birthday it is – I know facetious is hard to get in print but really it is pretty obvious
        b and c) Have you been here before? We are in fabu-bitchy land here. Lots of backhanded compliments and  comments in context of the season and the celebs wheelhouse. 

        If you are new -welcome, stay a while -it is pretty fun around here. 

      • BazoDee

        Why so serious? 
        a) T & Lo know exactly what birthday it is – I know facetious is hard to get in print but really it is pretty obvious
        b and c) Have you been here before? We are in fabu-bitchy land here. Lots of backhanded compliments and  comments in context of the season and the celebs wheelhouse. 

        If you are new -welcome, stay a while -it is pretty fun around here. 

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

        She does tacky on her own, no Tlo needed.

      • NICHOLAS PASQUALE

        Humor, darling. It’s there, look for it. Except with those shoes…those shoes are an abomination.

      • sockandaphone

        im pretty sure tlo was joking and you must be new

      • Little_Olive

        It actually says “the anniversary of” her 29th bday. As in, 29 for a few more years, then 39 for another 10. 

    • annrr

      She looks like she is going to break up with him during appetizers

      • RebeccaKW

         I think the look on his face is “holy shit, I can’t believe she fell for my act!  I hope she doesn’t drop me before I get the contract as head choreographer signed and at least 2 cars in my name”

    • Sara__B

      On the model, the back of the dress is zipped. I know JLo needs to be sexy, but she’s unzipped it all the way to tacky.

      • littlemac8

        How many times can I “LIKE” this comment.  Hysterical!

    • Vanja

      The back looks ridiculous, almost as if the sipper has been burst open. It’s closed in the model’s dress. I do like the colour, the boy toy with his hipster glasses not so much.

    • Scimommy

      Are we sure it’s the same dress? Apart from the placement of the zipper, what else is the same between them? The back, or lack thereof? It really doesn’t even look related to that gold monstrosity! Better, yes, but not related.

      • Amy Conoly

         I think I would have liked her better in the gold monstrosity. With some kind of snakeskin shoe and ostentatious jewelry.

    • janetjb

      Those shoes have found a good home with J Lo.  

      I am so annoyed at another winter dress in the summer, I don’t care if it looks good on her or not.

    • IMNAngryLiberal

      The dress JLo has on doesn’t look at all like the Tom Ford gold dress — where is all the nifty seaming in the bodice?  I like the gold dress on the model a whole lot better.

    • PastryGoddess

      She looks *gasp* her age and that just won’t do at all.  Also she could stand to lose about 150 pounds, but ya know

      • Sobaika

        Rude. Also inaccurate. She has a fabulous body.

        • PastryGoddess

           come back from the edge honey…I meant that douchbag shes’ going to eventually marry , not her body. sheesh calm down

          • Sobaika

            It’s not like I bit your head off so there’s no reason for me to calm down. And I’m glad you clarified your comment but that’s not how it originally read.

            • http://profiles.google.com/denise.alden Denise Alden

              I got the “150 pounds of douchiness” right off; maybe I’ve just heard that expression before!

            • SassieCassy

              I think the op edited the comment? Because when I first read it I thought it was body shaming too. I figured TLO were going to delete it because they dont put up with that shit.

      • sockandaphone

        body shaming isn’t cute.

        • pookiesmom

          this x10000.

        • http://profiles.google.com/denise.alden Denise Alden

          What body shaming?

      • Vickiefantastico

        Whoa, everyone! Her comment was not mean or derogatory about her fabulous body. She was taking about the douche-y looking boyfriend. Geez, chill out.

        • SassieCassy

          lol we know that NOW. i think the op edited the comment after.

    • BazoDee

      I am loathe to admit this but she looks great! And you gentlemen are correct -even making those terrible shoes work!! And yes I hate her a bit when I realize there are no spanx hidden under that dress.

      ETA – I completely and totally do the “Hola lovers” in my head when I see her. Those posts are so damn funny!

      • Sobaika

        Yeah, she looks pretty amazing – and I’m loathe to admit it for the opposite reason, I love it when she heads to Tack City.

        • BazoDee

          Tack City is fun -then I get to forget I’m jealous of her bod and just make fun. She does this occasionally to remind us I think. Or maybe she has decided to grow old gracef…oh wait..ha ha -nevermind. 

          • SassieCassy

            Growing old gracefully is something that doesnt happen in all of Hwood let alone with jenny from the block

      • TheOriginalLulu

        Seriously. That body is all hers and she’s 43. And has had children. That’s pure craziness.
        Maybe that’s why she left the zipper open in the back. It looks stupid, but it’s her way of saying, Shapewear is for lesser women; this is all ME, so suck it putas. 

        • BazoDee

          I’m 100% sure that’s what she was saying. 

      • Introspective

        maybe there’s a pair of backless spanx we mere mortals dont know about?? hoping so, because if not, and she’s managing this tight of a body as a 43 year old mom, i hate her.

        • BazoDee

          Yep! Maybe she has them custom made. But I always suspect that’s what her cut-outs are always about -proof that she’s not wearing any control garments.

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      She looks amazing – the only thing that bugs here is that the color of her dress clashes so bad with his jacket. 

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      She looks amazing – the only thing that bugs here is that the color of her dress clashes so bad with his jacket. 

      • TheOriginalLulu

        Remember when she was with Affleck and their outfits always looked perfectly coordinated? I guess she got over that, huh?

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

      TLo, “celebrating the anniversary of her 29th birthday with her clearly bi-curious boytoy” may be some of the funniest words you’ve ever written. :-)

    • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

      It’s a nice dress on her. She certainly has the body for it. I don’t like the back at all and I don’t think it’s the same dress as in the photo, as the red version doesn’t have the pleating/folding thing in the bodice.

      I fucking HATE those shoes, though. Hate. Them. 

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

      Also, what’s with the glasses on said bi-curious boytoy? Are they supposed to make him look older? Smarter?

      • PaulaBerman

         Doesn’t he look a lot like her bi-curious ex-husband, if he shaved his head? She certainly has a type…

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

          Which one – creepy Marc Anthony? Or that other dancer guy before him?

          • MilaXX

             JLo never married Chris Judd. She married the waiter, Ojani.

            • PaulaBerman

              According to wikipedia, she married both Ojani AND Cris Judd. What is sad about this is that I remembered how to spell Cris Judd, but I can’t remember where I put my car keys.

              ETA: the current BF is named Casper Smart, which combines both the transparency and the nerd glasses in one rad name. Jennifer Lopez is officially a cartoon character.

            • MilaXX

              I don’t think the tour is selling that well. we just scored free tix to the AC show this weekend.

            • call_me_schmeg

              actually, she married both of them. just not at the same time, of course. it goes waiter-dancer-marc with an engagement to ben between dancer-marc.

            • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

              All of this has gotten me curious and I looked at her Wikipedia page (am SERIOUSLY procrastinating)… I didn’t realize that she and Ben were only together for 18 months TOTAL. Doesn’t it seem like it went on for YEARS? The engagement, the several (!) canceled weddings, etc… they must’ve gotten engaged, like, the day they met or something.

            • call_me_schmeg

              18 months?! i’ve had the same jar of pickles for longer than that. gurl sure does love to be in love.

          • PaulaBerman

             Marc Anthony. The other one was beefier and not transparent IIRC… but also bald. Hmm.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/QK3MTAHUVJCMI7DANY6WFCAIUM n a

      I cannot stand her- I wish we would all just stop staring at her– talentless media whore that she is– to stop feeding the beast!  Then,she might just fade away…  Ah, a girl can dream.

    • tinyredlocks

      I love love love me a backless dress, so this, to me, is awesome. I think she looks great-much better than she normally does. Not fond of the shoes, though. Looking at them makes my feet sweat.

    • butterflysunita

      She looks great.  

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      Those Fug girls did that to me too.  HOLA LOVERS! I can’t contain it.  

      I think she looks tasteful, and guys, it doesn’t happen often.  I groaned when I saw those shoes, but you’re right, she’s the only person that has managed to make them look somewhat reasonable. 

      • NICHOLAS PASQUALE

        I don’t know. I suppose these are one of the less offensive pairs of these shoes from the collection, but I still think it looks like she has one giant, pointy, painted toenail.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

          Great analogy.  I loathe the neon ones, but I said somewhat reasonable. No where near acceptable though. 

          • NICHOLAS PASQUALE

            “Somewhat reasonable” is about as far as one could go with the shoes from that collection, so I have to agree.

    • Terence Ng

      I think she looks great. It’s what I’d expect to wear if I wanted to look nice and was planning on enjoying my birthday for me.

    • MoHub

      I was fine until I saw the back, but then, that definitely puts the JLo stamp on it.

      • meowing

        Yeah, I was thinking, “wow, so covered up.”  Then the back, so “of course.”

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=506473106 Mori Clark

      why ISN’T she wearing the gold snakeskin version?  the red is kind of boring. also those shoes look like they were designed by someone who actually never looked at feet before.

      • kimmeister

        I know, the gold snakeskin is so much more of what we’d expect!

    • call_me_schmeg

      can we please please PLEASE see TLo’s list of the JLo top 20 dresses? pwetty pwease?!
      (without reading the other comments, surely i’m not the first person to beg for this, right?)

      • sockandaphone

        i agree!

    • http://surelysonsy.blogspot.com/ Jessica | Surely Sonsy

      sure, it’s lower impact comparatively, but it still packs quite a punch. she looks slammin’!

    • MilaXX

      I thought the same thing about the shoes. They finally work here. I think this is JLo’s idea of demure. Sad, you’d think after Ojani & Chris Judd she would have learned to stop sleeping with the help.

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      Why isn’t she smiling?  She does not look like a happy camper in this picture. 

      • SewingSiren

        She’s probably burning in that dress. But it does look like they are having a closed lip argument in the photo where they are facing each other.

    • Srw27

      Those shoes look remarkably tacky for being Louboutins.  She looks sexy if rather understated for JLo.  He, however, looks like a waiter at a bad restaurant 

    • SewingSiren

      Oh, Jenny you have a July birthday you shouldn’t be wearing a winter dress.
      And I wonder what kind of bra she’s wearing because I want one.

    • Bree The Vole

      The guy in the middle of third pic is making me LOL.

      I also like this look on her, although the tacky HOLA LOVERS Jennifer is more entertaining. I’ll always have a soft spot for her despite her, um, slight talents.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1241487378 Lauren Lynch Fox

      WOW, she has a great back! hate the shoes with all the toe cleavage.

    • Jessica O’Connell

      WHY WON’T THOSE SHOES JUST DIE ALREADY????

    • Cathy S

      I’m surprised she didn’t go with the metallic version. Where’s the bling, Jen? I really hate those shoes.

    • Alyson Epstein

      Is that a cell phone in the bf’s pocket or is he just happy to see photogs?

    • http://www.GiftedCollector.com Nancy Abrams

      Wow, how bright were those lights that he made such a dark, distinct shadow on her? It’s amazing they can keep their eyes open.

    • Beth G

      Do his pants have sturrips????????

    • Judy_J

      I love this dress from the front; the back looks a bit too trashy for my taste.  And those shoes are ridiculous; I don’t care who is wearing them.

    • afabulous50

      I’m sorry – her boyfriend is not 100% straight.  Not that they’re anything wrong with that!

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UCLO5V2YD36T7QMPKOC7YXPOFU Erica

        Yep, as I was scrolling down, I was thinking to myself, mm, he seems to have a hint of mint.  I’m glad I have TLo’s support in my musings….

    • melanie0866

      Really?  I think she’s (as you would say) shutting it the hell down.

      • PinkLemon

         agreed. but it’s just not up to her usual standards, i suppose.

    • LesYeuxHiboux

      She’s going to be like the female version of Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused, isn’t she? Using all that dough to keep herself supplied with muscular twenty-something boytoys.  Looking good, Lopez. Nice of you to remind us you don’t need the patented Fonda pulleys yet.

    • mommyca

      what’s so bad about the shoes? I really like them… (not in neon though)…. I’m in the minority apparently… 

    • David G

      Bi curious? Really necessary? 

      • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

         Yes. Someone in the world would have died if we hadn’t made that joke. It was NECESSARY.

    • sashaychante

      Age appropriate…I am very surprised that she’s not in something more over the top.  She looks tots fab.  Still hate those shoes. 

    • j_anson

      She sure does look better in that dress than the model, though. So that’s a win.

    • lolaleen

      Yes, thank you! I HATE those shoes on every person I’ve seen them on. UGH.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F73LIJ3SJGI5AJQMXMWXCKILHI Pamela

      That shot of the back of the dress looks like there was a long zipper left unzipped.

    • PinkLemon

      mos def agree with her being the only person who’s worn those shoes well. possibly because they’re red, and not BRIGHTYELLOW

    • HobbitGirl

      NO STILL HATE THE SHOES. HATE FOREVER.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/W7A5N4G7FDTV5U2KOHBVSB55XI Basket

      That boyfriend is GAY! 

    • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

      in my imaginary world, i believe she left american idol because of the fug sisters.

    • aristida_girl

      I like her look, bless her, but that boy is so young, goodness me! More power to her, I guess, but even that guy behind them in the 2nd photo down looks disturbed ;)

    • teensmom99

      Merry Christimas!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-Cleary/1201575213 Patrick Cleary

      Are those shoes way too small or are they supposed to cover only 2 1/2 toes?

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-Cleary/1201575213 Patrick Cleary

         Oh, wait. They’re lucite in places. It’s like the illusion netting of shoes.

    • http://cheekypinky.wordpress.com/ Rebecca

      “Besos! JLOooooooo,” She seemed to say.

    • guest2visits

      Well; I was also shocked that it wasn’t the gold glittery snakeskin version, it was surely invented for her.
      Is it me or is her boytoy getting younger and younger…

    • quiltrx

      See, to me she’s the older version of Lea…OF COURSE.

      And ugh, those shoes.  And the design of the dress makes it fit very poorly from the back, even fitting well from the front (except the weird armpit-bagging).

    • http://twitter.com/vintagesewing Utter Chaos

      I don’t understand what is going on with her legs in that last picture.

    • up with pod people

      I fecking love those shoes, I don’t know what you’re on about. She looks fierce!

    • RzYoung

      Hmm, i can’t say she looks bad, I thought it was boring until I saw the back and then BOOM. I wish she’d ditch that little boy, she needs someone like that filthy rich older dude that Salma bagged.

    • ConnieBV

      Jesus Christ, THE SJP/MADONNA HANDS.

    • margaret meyers

      The chief benefit of a bi-curious boytoy is that you are going to be dressed better, guaranteed. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/bert.keeter Bert Keeter

      TOM FORD? Not much to it??? And the “no back” back…not that interesting! Do like her styling, hair n stuff!

    • MaryAtRealityTea

      I sort of crazily love those shoes in theory, but they look ridiculously uncomfortable and I imagine everyone’s feet stink after wearing them. Something about the plastic. 

      On to the dress… why oh why did she not wear the gold version. And zip the back a skosh more. Casper (and their other bi-curious menage a toi partner) can unzip it to unholy levels in the bedroom BEHIND CLOSED DOORS but others need not see. Remember kids crack is wack and I hope those restaurant chairs had covered backs! 

      Instead of divatastic she has taken this dress to Kardashian-tastic – which is never the way to go!

    • http://twitter.com/photosbyjenh Jen Hofstetter

      She looks fabulous, except for the matchy shoes.

    • ccm800

      He is NOT attractive.