Darren Criss at the Fox All-Star Party

Posted on July 24, 2012

We always bitch to each other about how hard it is to come up with something to say about guys on the red carpet and what they’re wearing, complaining in that first-world-problems kinda way that, “It always comes down to collar, hem, and ‘get your hands out of your pockets.”

And here comes Darren, eager to be our latest visual aid:

 

Darren Criss attends Fox Summer All-Star Party in West Hollywood, CA.

 

1. Collar

Oh, brothers of a certain age (and you know who you are), could you possibly see yourself going back to the the David Byrne-esque, “This is not my beautiful wife” style of a suit and buttoned-up white dress shirt sans tie, like we all did 25 years ago? Or is this something for the under-30s? So help us, if bolo ties make a comeback we’re setting something on fire.

2. Hem

Here’s the thing: this kind of highwater hem only really works when the pant leg is tapered. These wide, flapping pant legs look awkward at this hem height. The cuff should break over the top of the shoe in this case. That’s how we see it, anyway.

3. Hands

Get them out of your pockets.

 

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos]

    • http://twitter.com/connectinglines Me Again

      Nice eyes and nice suit.  But I agree with your assessment.

    • Vlasta Bubinka

      All we need now is the montage… at the end of which (whether it be sports training, hat-trying-on, car repair, what-have-you) the couple falls in love…

    • rketeckt

      Agreed.  It also reads a little “Rainman” to me.

    • http://twitter.com/Olive_la Olivia Vigrabs

      That close up face shot is seriously creepy.

      • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gabriella M

        I just never find him attractive.

      • AudreysMom

         and it suggests that he needs another visit to the dentist for some bleaching

        • save_the_hobbit

          Wow, bitch much?

        • Kristin Nitcher

          wow- kinda unnecessary to be so mean! I thought we judged fashion here, not someone’s looks.

    • http://bonobochick.livejournal.com/ Miss D.

      Does he not have socks on?

      • http://twitter.com/Olive_la Olivia Vigrabs

        Must be a method actor, Blaine doesn’t wear socks either.

        • http://twitter.com/crush_onyou crush on you

          Both do. I think it’s a Darren thing; he either goes without socks or wears socks in clashing colors. I hate it. I’m fine with the collar, but the hems combined with no socks, and the hands in his pocket combined with no belt… out. I must say though that I’m relieved to see he shaved and cut his way too abundant mane of weeks ago. Lovely eyes, Darren; thanks for letting us see them!

    • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

      These celebrities are making me sleepy, they’re so dull.

      Also? No socks + leather shoes = stankfoot. Yuck.

      • formerlyAnon

         To be fair, he could be wearing footies which don’t show. They’d be more comfortable, as well.

      • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gabriella M

        Actually, leather breathes. One doesn’t wear boat shoes with socks. 

        • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

          And boat shoes are a major source of stankfoot, or so I remember from 1993.

    • kat89

      And he doesn’t appear to be wearing socks either. Ewww.

      • hape_dex

        Come on, what is it with all these “stankfoot” and “no socks” comments. Have you ever heard of loafer socks? Why do so many people think sockless ankles equal no socks at all? You wouldn’t look at a woman and assume she has perfect boobs that need no support just because she wears a dress over her bra (or tape).

    • GillianHolroyd

      that suit has a beautiful drape.

    • http://twitter.com/monkeytoe monkeytoe

      He could kill two birds with one stone. Look at the hem on his left leg–if he took his hands out of his pockets, his hem would be fine.

      • http://onebluetree.blogspot.com/ Sara L.

         Yep, I agree. Hands out of pockets = perfect hem.

      • peacockprincess

        You hit that on the nose–the hem is fine; the hands in pocket is the problem

    • Rebecca Johnson

      I get a strong “Have you heard the good news?” vibe from this. Ick.

    • Annabelle Archer

      Are they remaking Rainman?  It’s the casino scene all over again. 

    • SapphoPoet

      I love the color and pattern of the suit. But otherwise, yeah, what TLo said. 

    • formerlyAnon

      I have to quibble and say bolo ties are one of the few cyclical fashion affectations that look *better* on gentlemen of a certain age than on the young’uns. I don’t know why I am so sure of this. There’s probably a movie actor (from watching westerns with my dad) to blame.

      Speaking of movies: He badly needs [visible] socks. And once visible, I would prefer they be *perfectly* color matched to your shoes or trouser legs. As they did in some of the old movies (where I assume they had to be dyed to match.)

      And while the sight of Darren Criss raises a visceral antipathy within me, I have to admit he’s looking better here than usual.

    • MilaXX

      He’s come a long way since joining Glee and gaining high profile attention. His hair looks better, he ditched those stupid pink sunglasses and he dresses better. It’s hard to judge these pants or even the fit of the suit because the hands in the pockets ruin the lines of everything.

      • http://www.GiftedCollector.com Nancy Abrams

        Absolutely. Remember those scuffed-up shoes he always wore? 

        Speaking of his shoes, are his feet really that long? 

        • MilaXX

          It’s hard to tell if it’s camera angles or if men stars are borrowing shoes as well. A few of the man celeb pics we’ve seen lately make their feet look a bit long to me.

          • http://www.GiftedCollector.com Nancy Abrams

            Ewww, I hope they’re not going sockless in borrowed dress shoes.

            • MilaXX

              why not? The women do.

            • Spicytomato1

              I’m imagining the borrowed shoes getting sprayed like bowling shoes once they’re returned. Funny.

      • http://hereonturtleisland.blogspot.com/ iWoman

        He didn’t ditch those pink glasses. He wore them the other day to a different event.

      • save_the_hobbit

         Actually, he still wears those “stupid” pink sunglasses, because they’re a shout out to Starkids. I think his hair looks awful like this (and so does he) and I wish he could have his curly hair back. And I love how he dresses like a complete nerd in real life.

        I know this is immediately going to be pegged as a fangirl post, but whatever. People on this site act like Darren is such an asshole, when he’s one of the sweetest guys ever. I agree that fans of his from Glee are annoying, but his real fans have been with him since he was Harry Potter.

        • Jessica O’Connell

          Hey, I’m completely with you. I was a Starkid fan before I was ever a Glee fan and I appreciate that Darren remembers and pays homage to where he came from. I love the pink sunglasses – they might not be couture, but they’re very him and they show his quirky personality, which is one of the best things about him. I miss his curls too, but you can still see them like this, when they don’t pour a bottle of gel on his head, and he still looks adorable. I love that I know that a nerd like him can make it big. It gives the rest of us theatre/Harry Potter/pop culture nerds some hope!

          Also, love your username ;-).

          • save_the_hobbit

            I’m sad Darren won’t have his afro back by Leakycon. But oh well, starkid reunion for AVPSY is probably the greatest thing everrrr.

            • Jessica O’Connell

               TRUE! can’t wait :-D

        • MilaXX

          yes but he now knows when to deploy them. For a minute he was trying to wear them at events where folks who aren’t Starkids would be and it looked silly. I don’t mind the hair, but then again I also didn’t mind his downtime beard & wild man hair.

    • http://twitter.com/rocketlink Sean Selman

      > Thank God they hosed him down after that ComiCon disaster

      • mjude

        explain please?

      • Jessica O’Connell

        Since when does longer hair and a beard equal dirty? He was on vacation and he still looked cute and, in my opinion, clean. I had no problem with the more rugged look at Comic-Con.

        As far as this look goes, I agree with most people, I wish he’d wear socks and a tie, or at least unbutton a button if he’s going to go tie-less (with a starched collar, of course), but I agree with a lot of other people in that the hem length would be fine if his hands weren’t stuffed in his pockets.

        Also, love those eyes :-)

      • SignLadyB

        Yeah, that was my thought too. At least he cleaned up from the last time he was photographed.

      • Sara__B

         I don’t mind him in a beard with longer hair — it balances out those eyebrows of his. I prefer him cleaned-up, though. Now if we could just get him to wear socks when he’s working…

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_TH56FXRFTLCQNTN3JNFIYM7JPY Pattie knitter

      I would add two more requirements to your list:  wear socks and get a shave.  Though Darren has an acceptable amount of facial hair, most guys on the step and repeat don’t.

    • allj

      Yeah, the no-tie thing is deeply upsetting.

    • nannypoo

      And 4. Socks
          Wear them.

      • j_anson

        GOD YES. Guys: Your bare ankles are not sexy.

        • jblaked

          Disagree!  I love the bare ankle look.  I have been wearing sock booties all summer long – so no stankfoot.

    • sagecreek

      Smarmy, smarmier, smarmiest.

    • granddelusion

      And socks! (At least with dress shoes!)

    • Pants_are_a_must

      Honey, there are men who can carry off the five o’clock shadow. You are not one of these men.

      Also, from the waist down you look octagenarian. GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF YOUR PANTS.

      • http://www.GiftedCollector.com Nancy Abrams

        I think that, like Jon Hamm, he has a five o’clock shadow within an hour of shaving.

    • butterflysunita

      He looks adorable.  And at least he’s putting in the effort–wore a suit, albeit with collar and hem issues.  

    • j_anson

      I like the high-buttoned collar in this case. But YES on 1 and 2. I am curious, though, what is the prescribed thing TO do with your hands? It looks awful to shove them in your pockets, of course, but the temptation to do SOMETHING with them is nigh-overwhelming. As a woman, when I’m dressed formally I almost invariably have a bag of some sort, so that gives my hands something natural to do, which is frankly 50% of the reason to have a bag in my opinion! (I mean, other than the convenience of not having to tuck your money in your bra. Heh.) But on the rare occasions when I don’t, I find the awkwardness of just letting them hang there to be very hard to ignore. I tend to end up crossing them or clasping them in front or behind me, all of which don’t look good in photos.

      I suppose the answer is, suck it up and learn to feel natural letting them hang at your sides. Stupid arms!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1430717080 Scott Woodard

      I wear leather shoes with footies, it achieves the same look and no stank foot. I could never wear shoes without socks of some kind.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1342720565 Eileen Dennery Mannion

      2. Hem: Make sure the hem is the same length for both legs …

    • NurseEllen

      This is really a barrel-scraper, and I totally concur with all the PUFs who have referenced Rain Man (a movie I loathe, by the way).  And once again I have to roll my eyes at someone marking the place for celebs to stop with a duct tape “X”.  So tacky.

    • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gabriella M

      Unrelated: There’s going to be a RuPaul’s Drag Race AllStars! 

    • alyce1213

      4. Socks

      Put them on with this kind of suit.

      • redgauntlet

        5. Finally, don’t look like a squinty douche.

        • ClaireZ

          Um, isnt this a bit racist? He is half Filipino.

        • Jessica O’Connell

          Um, he’s half-Asian…Those are the way his eyes look normally. Same as mine.

          • redgauntlet

            I’m sorry but, Asian or European, he has a venerean strabismus and looks like a dochue. If you have a veneran strabismus and look like a douche too, it’s not because you’re asian, it’s because you’re a swivel-eyed douche.

    • redgauntlet

      T-Lo, please answer:

      If you are a man on the red carpet without a girl to put your arm around, what do you do with your hands?

      Thank you in advance.

      • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

         Leave them at the end of your arms.

    • guest2visits

      He’s cute, too bad about the suit.

    • indigospade

      I am fine with the hands in the pockets. I know I tend to do that because I feel awkward with my hands just hanging at my sides doing nothing. I tend to fidget. 

    • VanessaDK

      same as it ever was
      same as it ever was

      I got stuck at the David Byrne reference and the big suit.

      • formerlyAnon

        That’s such a high quality earworm it almost doesn’t count as one.

    • JMansm

      Is it just me or is there something kind of sexy about an extremely attractive guy when he makes fashion mistakes like this. I want to undress him and then re-dress him properly. 

      • boweryboy

        I just want to undress him…

    • siriuslover

      That hem is just downright awkward.

    • quiltrx

      I LOVE this style of no-tie collar…but I must correct you, it is the PETER GABRIEL COLLAR.  Seriously, Google some pictures of him, and you’ll find at least twenty pictures of him in one of these.  From the 80s to a couple weeks ago.  Even Claymation Peter in ‘Sledgehammer’ had one.  (can you tell I absolutely worship Peter Gabriel??)

      And every time I see Darren, I am reminded of the “guys with big feet” thing, and figure he’s pretty gifted if it’s true. :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Paige-Boerman/670140590 Paige Boerman

      Are the pants really high waters, or does it just look like that cuz his hands are in his pockets?

    • afabulous50

      He is getting less and less attractive to me.  And, what’s with the high-waters all the time???

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/FEP56YB4DUIXBWSLIMSSSGQHWY jimmack

      Even scarrier than the return of the bolo tie is the honest-to-goodness of the tab collar shirt (also refered to as a nehru collar). Lord help us all. Mr Criss: Look down, you are not standing on the “X”.
      Note to Fox: horrible backdrop especially with the birth white metal stands.
      Note to all Fox “stars”: Stand away from the backdrop…the lighting is better…and you will look better.

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      All that being said, he sure is pretty.

    • boweryboy

      Stank feet.

    • BrightsideSusan

      Perhaps a tutorial about where to put the hands?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=713709401 Randy Noak

      Is he not wearing socks?

    • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

      Agree on all 3 points.  I still think he’s cute as a button, though.  I just don’t get the Darren Criss hate!  Of course, others might not get my irrational hatred of that can’t-act “actress” Kristen Stewart.

      • Jessica O’Connell

         I completely get your hate for Kristen Stewart, if it makes you feel any better :-)

    • aristida_girl


       So help us, if bolo ties make a comeback we’re setting something on fire” I love you guys! The kittens will rise up as well and it will be the apocalypse…