Versace Menswear Spring 2013 Collection

Posted on June 26, 2012

“We Will Rock You” by Queen was the runway music, and the message couldn’t have been louder or clearer once the clothes hit the lights: it’s all glam superheroes and wrestlers for the Versace Spring 2013 Mens collection. Flashy, body-conscious to an insane degree, and –

 

Guh!

Gladiator! He-Man! Physique Pictorial!

Sorry. Sorry about that. It’s just –

 

Fuhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

Umm…

Thighs.

 

 

Shiny….

 

….

 

Clothes. On boys. Boyclothes.

 

Woof.

Flowers.

 

Boys.

 

Pretty.

 

 

And there you have it! Our thoughts on the Versace Mens 2013 collection, darlings! Discuss.

[Photo Credit: versace.com]

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  • PaulaBerman

    OK, now that I have stopped laughing… What is that weird across the body strap thing? Does it have a notebook tucked into it?  Or is it a metallic man clutch with shiny body attachment strap included?

    • muzan-e

      It is not a strap; it is a harness, for he is armoured in gunmetal-grey Suit and riding off to corporate War! The notebook must be accessible at all times – from all angles! There are many like it, but this one is his!

      • http://lnk.co/I1G74 Michelle M. Stgeorge

        Man I freaking -love- gladiator movies!..DemoforFrank.blogspot.com

    • giiiirrrr

       You stopped laughing?  Tell me how!

      • PaulaBerman

         I got a severe cramp.

        • giiiirrrr

          Genius.

    • Amismo

      His iPhone is SO heavy

  • http://twitter.com/msjwatt J.Watt

    Hot damn on a cracker.

    • http://twitter.com/Merneith Merneith

       I’ll have what you’re having. Man I freaking -love- gladiator movies!

  • gabbilevy

    This collection is a joke, right?

    (Not that I MIND, of course…)

    • TieDye64

      I never knew it was possible to laugh out loud and drool at the same time. 

  • Leonardo Alves

    Versace never ceases to embarrass me!

  • charlotte

    And this is where ridiculousness goes to a wohle new level. How in the world can the models keep straight faces?

    • golspie

      Because they are being paid $8000 for four hours work.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lucía-Gavello/1253586868 Lucía Gavello

      It’s beyond “straight face”, shinyboys here look PISSED 

    • Aurumgirl

       Those are not straight faces.  Those are angry, sullen, “my spirit is so broken” faces.  They are “not even for $2000 an hour” faces. 

      • guest2visits

        So this.

      • Little_Olive

        Some of them are on the verge of throwing a tantrum. I mean, the one in the 13th picture (“aztec” print and sleeveless jacket” is about to go at it with his mommy. 

      • http://twitter.com/nkk Nikki

        Men aren’t paid nearly as much as women in this field- I highly recommend reading Ashley Mears’ book “Pricing Beauty” as it is eye opening… the field is not a lucrative as it believed to be, especially for men.

    • donkeygospel6

       STRAIGHT? Please. These are models.

  • http://twitter.com/hmbscully WendyD

    *stunned silence*
    Who would ever wear any of that anywhere? Even crazy fashionistas? 

    • http://twitter.com/SparklyCasanova UglyCasanova

      Gay porn stars, don’t tell me you’ve never seen any Miss. Innocent 

      • RebeccaKW

        Except, unlike the gay porn stars, some of these boys, as exquisite as their thighs are, don’t seem to be packing any heat.  Ahem, pink underoos.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1576973112 Patricia Groves Dobrowski

          They’re hiding from fear and embarassment.

  • crash1212

    I like the shoes and the thighs. Wonder when any/all of them had time to win the Heavy Weight Championship of the World, which is where I assume they got those belts.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1576973112 Patricia Groves Dobrowski

    is this Versace, or the latest American Male catalog?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m digging the view, but, seriously?????!?

    • Deac82

       that would be International(!) Male

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1576973112 Patricia Groves Dobrowski

        Acck.  Going on memory alone.  That’s the last time I skip the Google.

  • Clueless_Jock

    It’s a bit ridiculous.

    • Peeve

       A bit??? That was a costume show, not a fashion show! I just giggled my way through it. Yes, the thighs (and the boys) are damned hot, but I was embarrassed for them…

  • muzan-e

    What’s with all the warface on the catwalk that night? 

    Not that I’m complaining, mind. It’s just so deliciously camp!

  • http://twitter.com/thesquizz Lauren

    Versace and I have very different definitions of beautiful style. Her looks always seem tacky and cheap-looking to me. I like nearly none of these looks (excepting the the boys. The boys can stay.).

  • golspie

    These seem like a wonderful capsule collection for expensive male prostitutes but otherwise I just can’t see who would wear them and when.

    • j_anson

      Well… at least they have a customer in mind?

      I’m sure no one would do this for fear of burning bridges in the industry, but I’d love to see a Project Runway style show where folks like Michael Kors critiqued ACTUAL designers’ runway shows like this. Actually, no, I want to see Tim Gunn do it.

      • Little_Olive

        Although, there are great pieces here for them to put together their costume for Heidi’s halloween party.

      • golspie

        Great idea. I’d watch that for sure. I would also like Bunim-Murray to stump up some real money and have a ‘Real Designers Project Runway’ with Vivienne Westwood, Karl Lagerfeld and Vera Wong all having four hours to make a cokctail dress out of cheese for Kimchi Kardashian (or some other Z-list Kardashian).

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

        I can already imagine the horrified expression on Tim’s face.

        But at least Kors would be unable to use his “mother of the bride” comparison here… Maybe… Right? 

  • http://twitter.com/amandawelliver Amanda Welliver

    I like the blue shoes at the end.

  • PinkLemon

    joe jonas is rocking the SHIT out of that bathrobe coat!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001637020912 Zula Khramov

    I love all shoes and “bags”! but then again I am a woman….

  • TonyGo

    Seafoam sleeveless double breasted suit jacket with cuffed shorts.  Dyed-to-match high top boxing boots. Gosh, when you type it out it doesn’t sound hilarious.

    • alyce1213

      It reads hilarious.

  • Imasewsure

    I think we just picked out your new pool boys TLo!! The clothes themselves were cray cray but the hangers were awe-inspiring…

  • AJ

    Wait, hold up. Are all those sneakers actually gladiator sandals worn with socks? Cause if so, I need to make some serious decisions between laughing and crying.

    • Aurumgirl

       For you, it’s the gladiator sandals with tube socks.  For me, it’s the top row, middle picture:  Illusion Netting has arrived, man style! 

    • Leonardo Alves

      You’re right! What is up with this sandals and socks trend? I am NOT gonna accept that! hahaha

  • Lina_bee

    Oh, Versace, NEVER CHANGE. *laughs forever*

    I wonder which fashion rag will treat us to a guyditorial of a hot actor wearing one of these dresses, a wrestler’s belt, and the pink lace-up speedo. With gladiator sandals. Oh! And the notebook harness/holster. Can’t forget that! He can brood studiously on a cliff overlooking the ocean while his filmy silver and white beach coverup flaps in the breeze. (God, I so want this to happen!)

    • donkeygospel6

       Please god let it be Taylor Lautner. For text AND subtext.

      • formerlyAnon

        I would like this multiple times, were that possible.

  • http://www.facebook.com/fiddlecub Kevin VanOrd

    All of it ridiculous. Nice eye candy, but the clothes? I’d be ashamed to put my name on this collection of–whatever you would call this. Clown clothes, stupid belts that look like wrestling trophies, awful prints, cheap metallics. Good God, between this and the Burberry collection, I think I’ll just avoid buying clothing altogether this year. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1045295912 Charles Purdy

    The first three rows are pure high-budget gladiator-themed gay porn movie. There’s simply nowhere else you could wear those getups! Shiny suits — the perfect look for a Brazilian gigolo’s introduction to his oligarch-boyfriend’s thirty-something kids. Then we get into some sort of psycho gay beach party. I especially like the lace-up-crotch pink bikini with matching tote. If this guy comes near you, run. He is a drama vortex and he steals. …. Then toward the end we get back to her familiar “Nouveau Eurotrash Moscow-Disco” look, but whenever I see those guys they are wearing knockoff Versace, so I don’t know who’s buying the real stuff! 

    • aeg66

      Nouveau Eurotrash Moscow-Disco…nailed it Charled. NAILED IT.

  • lizajane1776

    So…you approve?

  • Abigail Speltz

    Is it just me, or did the shiny suits have a real Jersey Shore vibe? The hair and shoes were stolen from the DJ-kid on there. 

  • sleepycat

    After I stopped drooling I kinda hate this collection, too much shiny and just plain tacky. Never liked Versace very much.

  • hughman

    I wonder if you push the button on the belt it makes their, um, “hair” grow?

  • http://twitter.com/urban_gypsy Tess Danesi

    And here I thought lady models had perfected the bitch face, these boys are sure giving them some stiff competition. Maybe they needed the ultra stern look to keep from laughing their way down the runway. Oh Versace, never change.

  • http://opinionandamovie.blogspot.com/ Deitra S.

    I love you boys so much :)

  • demidaemon

    As someone whose brother is an avid wrestling fan, I am looking forward to when I tell him about this ridiculous collection!

  • http://twitter.com/AmberAndronicus Fucking A.

    YES LAWD

  • http://twitter.com/AmberAndronicus Fucking A.

    Also, this may be just me but I can’t see this on anyone. Not even Ewan McGregor, who can get away with a lot. Maybe Adam Lambert but that’s as far as it goes, and that’s pushing it.

    • MilaXX

       I could see Lambert rocking those last 2 rows.

    • formerlyAnon

      I could see plenty of men who aspire to a touch of the dandy [and who don't work for standard corporate/business America] wearing the black & white suits that aren’t blindingly shiny.

      The green and the black & white dusters will (in cheap knock offs) be treasured by art/drama students far & wide.The robe in the leading photo & the one in the middle of the first row will be worn by more men than you might imagine in the privacy of their own homes/on vacation. (It’ll go perfectly with that Roman tub their master suite has, if they bought any one of about half of the high-end suburban homes built in the last 10 years.)The blue & white sweater on the right of the final row of triplets is down right mainstream, and I bet many of the shirts and some of the shorts & slacks will read that way as well, away from the runway madness.

      I mean, the market niche is narrow for the looks as presented – and those floral pieces are gonna be confined to the flamboyant and confident (and/or the generously-maintained kept man/former pool boy) – but I’m guessing these will sell as well as Versace ever does once these ensembles are deconstructed. 

    • Little_Olive

      Shouldabin available as Hank Azaria’s costume for his Agador character in The Birdcage. So right with the plates’ pattern!

  • Saucysusan

    Craptastic. Anyone who’d wear this would be crazy. Soooo tacky.

  • j_anson

    It’s, like… professional… 23rd Century… space gladiators. What the… that’s just ridiculous.

  • Rokesmiths

    Some of the hair veered straight into Vanilla Ice territory. Yikes.

  • PaulaBerman

    I ask you ladies to imagine a selection of these as a Project Runway finale collection. Just imagine what Nina, the Duchess, and Heidi would say. Hilarity ensues.

  • Trisha26

    WOW! GORGEOUS! Yes, please, I’ll have another. Could do without the WWF belts though!

  • michelle shields

    no no no no no NO!

  • aeg66

    The models need an Oscar for not laughing the entire time.

  • alyce1213

    OK joke’s over. Very funny.  Now can we see the real collection?

    • formerlyAnon

      I dunno. I went on about it in a reply to “Fucking A.” a little earlier in the comments, so I won’t repeat it all here. But deconstructed into component parts, I’d say a close to third of this is salable in any better menswear store/department.  Just not as presented here.

  • TieDye64

    Thankfully this does have some redeeming qualities. Namely thighs. And abs. And thighs.

  • KeanCole

    Sans the world wrestling federation belt and over the top shoes, versace men ss 2013 is fashion forward – silhouette and materials are exciting, fun, and daring. You have to have a devil may care attitude and have a lot of confidence with your sexuality to carry most of the looks in this collection. To afford them is another story. The models and the styling are the ones that made the collection easily get ridiculed.

  • LesYeuxHiboux

    The pinstripe duster is so Corey Haim. My husband made a guest appearance to say “All these clothes are either gay or 80′s” scrolled down and he confirmed “…just got more gay”. He did enjoy the championship belts. 

  • boweryboy

    Fashion for the European porn star in your life.

    Also, if your thighs rub together then they’re too big.

  • http://surelysonsy.blogspot.com/ Jessica | Surely Sonsy

    i laughed throughout your commentary, briefly interrupting the funny sensations in my ladyparts whilst ogling those menparts. 

    THANK YOU.

    p.s. i don’t give a fuck about those clothes.

  • kimmeister

    I guess it’s the boys’ turn to have open-toed boots and random sheer panels.

  • Alisa Rivera

    Somewhere Joe Manganiello is frantically texting his agent to get him some samples so he can wear this collection on the Magic Mike promo tour.

  • MilaXX

    The collection is hideous, but da-yum, homeboy could crack walnuts with those thighs!

  • frankystein123

    Epic fail.

  • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

    The boys are gorgeous. I can’t EVEN with the clothing. If I saw a guy walking down the road in one of those getups, I think I would literally fall over AND laugh my ass off.

    I do like that last guy’s shoes though. Those are cute. 

  • ChelseaNH

    “Thighs” is right.  Who knew male models were allowed to have that much meat?

  • guest2visits

    O my God this is funny.  Some good looking guys and an embarrassingly large slice of silly. There are 2 or 3 suits - minus their
    super power shield, of course; that are very cool (4th frame, last frame).  Some nice shoes.  HeeHeeHeeHee…..

  • quiltrx

    LOVE the loafers and the shortest of the wrestler-looking shoes. (oh wait…the wrestler-y shoes don’t have toes, do they? Closed toes and I would love them.)

    And *some* of the clothes are pretty fabulous–like the dotted suit, the suit with the designs on the sleeves, that grey/black striped suit, and I even like the bright splotchy print.

    But otherwise, I think these really incredible-looking men are to divert us from how completely whackadoodle this stuff is.  Particularly “world championship belt” and “oops, I forgot my pants.”

  • momogus

    WTF.

  • Sarah Thomas

    This looks like an unintentionally hilarious sci-fi movie. 

    • Little_Olive

      Nailed it. 

  • lifetime_student

    Oh my, (waving fan vigorously) oh my….I believe that will hold me until the opening of Magic Mike. Well, perhaps one more look.

    Oh my!

  • DCSheehan

    Love the detailing on the sleeves of that dark suit. More of this for men please fashion industry.

    I am so adding embroidery to some of my suits now…

    • Pennymac

      I thought the same thing when I got to it. That suit is like an exclamation point of fashion. Love it!

  • lrhoff

    I live in Montana, and those big belts are usually from the rodeo champions.  Therefore, I’m not liking the fashion industry rip-off here……  Otherwise, what was going on here?  

  • lesmaha

    Hee-Larious!!

  • throwslikeagirl

    Who wears this stuff? I get that it’s conceptual, but what’s the concept? Metallic? Okay, but even so, who’ll wear THAT stuff!? 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1241487378 Lauren Lynch Fox

    I just can’t….

  • joything

    You guys are adorable when you’re gibbering wrecks.

  • angryparsnip

    It’s gladiator granny panties !

    cheers,  parsnip

  • NCDFan

    Giggle

  • Jessica O’Connell

    Thank you so much for, once again, making me laugh after a long, hellish day.

  • Dagney

    Help, I have fallen and I woke up in a WHAM! video.

  • formerlyAnon

    Hilarious. But on a slower perusal:
    Shiny’s gonna be a thing, here, for a nanosecond?

    Suit vest-jackets are not going to catch on any place I’ve worked. Not even with cuffed formal shorts in a fetching green.

    There ARE some suits & other pieces buried in the flash that are nice. I do not include the WWF-style belt. [giggle]

  • silaria

    I think they all wear identical grimaces because they know exactly how ridiculous they look. XD  But they are pretty.

  • Susan Crawford

    Dear T and Lo,
    Sending smelling salts, cold compresses, and that chap in the first photo over to TLo Mansion to brew you both a pot of chamomile tea. Sounds as though you both need some reviving after this post.
    Love,
    Susan

  • granddelusion

    Hahahahaha! The pink speedos ftw!

  • Amismo

    I am SO not the demographic (40-45 female)

  • poketom

    I want all of the slutty underwear. Right meow. 

  • PeaceBang

    By the time I got to the pink, I was guffawing. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sierra-Delta/100003182924700 Sierra Delta

    This is the silliest fashion parade I’ve ever seen.  I know these outfits are just supposed to be inspiration and that they’ll be modified to varying degrees for mass consumption, but SERIOUSLY…

    All of the clothing should be removed this instant — it’s too ridiculous and can’t compete with the sheer perfection of thighs, abs, and other body parts.

    *shaking head wondering who would actually buy any of this*

    • http://profiles.google.com/dorothymichael Dorothy & Michael n/a

      The very same thought was in my  head, too … Who would buy and/or wear any of this? What a waste of fabric, time, money, and energy.  Although I sure enjoyed the physiques. 

  • http://twitter.com/solastalgic Ayman Itani

    You could work some pieces from the flowery photoset (flowery jacket, teal vest) but the rest of it is so wonderfully ridiculous.

  • jessicasac

    All of this is hilarious, puzzling, almost shocking! What is not ok is any kind of sleeveless blazer. NO.

  • Thathoodwink

    Sometimes the clothes do not make the man.

  • afabulous50

    Though I certainly understand your enthusiasm for this collection – there isn’t one straight man I know that would be caught dead in any of these looks.  And, I know…that isn’t the point.

  • ChaquitaPhilly

    It is to laugh! WOW! You guys have brightened my morning. I’m going to save this post for ever!
    The belts are just great, and the bods, too, of course. Thank yuz both.

  • save_the_hobbit

    As a lesbian, I must tell you that I am just generally frightened by this collection.

  • Stubenville

    Perfect for the attention whore visiting Las Vegas. Everyone else? Not so much.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mary-Stone/100001328135240 Mary Stone

      Agreed, international male done in more expensive materials, but equally tacky.  Just not feeling this at all.  As St. Dolly would say..”It’s expensive to look this cheap.”

  • MsKitty

    I’m looking at these pics with Peter Graves saying “Do you like gladiator movies?” over and over in my head.

    Must give it up to the models being able to make it through without doubling over in laughter.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

    The belts suck. They are blocking the abs.

  • lordandtaylor

    HA HA Love the wide belts that look like ones given to the “champions” on world wide wrestling.
    More shiny…make that…super shiny suits.
    Model’s hair is a combinatinof superman circa 1955 and conan on TBS

    For once, the model due not look like stick figures…there are hot legs, great pecs, nice arms on that runway.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2B6U4UNVYIV5DLEG6Z24ALYOC4 Dan Alexander

    I can only imagine the d-bags with enought money to buy this stuff struttin their butts poolside at Cesar’s palace!

  • http://twitter.com/Nancer Nancer

    Made me laugh out loud. Just ridiculous.

  • aimee_parrott

    Um… wow?  I mean the boys are beautiful, as are their delicious thighs.  But this whole thing is just do deeply strange.  If somebody showed me these pictures and told me it was a spoof of a runway show, I’d believe it.

  • VicksieDo

    The labels should all read “douchebag”. SOOO bad, so very very very bad.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/K3O2QNXDJIU3AJINAGNJRYWDZ4 mrspotts66

    oh, shit.  my side.  it huuuuurts!
    gah.  i like looking at the boys and the boy thighs.
    there may have been ONE piece of clothing that i thought might work for the everyday joe.
    maybe.
    but i don’t know one man who would wear the flowery pants or the pink bathing suit or the shiny suit.
    seriously.  maybe i need to meet some new people.
    because people who *would* wear these things are people i’d like to hang around IRL.

  • Dhammadina

    It’s weird to get a visual of Rocky Balboa in these clothes due to those champion-gladiator belts. 

  • http://www.anorexicescapades.com/ BougieHippie

    This collection way trashy. I seen better fashion at party city. 

  • trisker

    Almost everything is absolutely RIDICULOUS!

  • Puckndc

    They are kidding right???

  • Puckndc

    Fire Island meets Spartacus

  • Qitkat

    Munnff….knorp…..snorph……ahhhh…… da hell??

    As I was scrolling down, all I could think of was *how did those models effing keep a straight face as they stomped the runway?*
    Mustabeen drugged. Or better yet, under what influence was the designer at Versace?

    Guess we ought to give them some credit. It’s not boring.

  • BeeBeauNYC

    For the “high fashion minded” West Hollywood homosexual male who used to shop out of the International Male catalog in the 80s….

  • http://twitter.com/april_anita April Goff

    I don’t know… it’s very reminiscent of Color Me Badd and that does NOT make me want to sex you up.

  • JasonKL

    What the fuck am I looking at.

  • Scott Hester-Johnson

    More of a hot mess than usual. Not that I’m complaining, mind…

  • MzzPants

    Granny panties + man-thighs =  Everyone Wins!

  • john v

    some of the tennis shoes are pretty cool looking i have to admit. 

  • glennethph

    Nggh. Thighs.

  • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

    What’s the word for male bitch face? Bro-face?

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

      Bitch face.

      • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

        Fair enough! Donatella obviously ordered “scowl, by pretties!”

  • damnfinecupofcoffee

    This just reminds me of the shopping montage in National Lampoon’s European Vacation

  • Valerie Jones

    I kinda want one of those iPad holsters. But only if I can balance it on the other side with my phaser …

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=583505025 Kelley Comfort

    Ah, Versace. The crazy crap you come up with! 

  • KathKo

    Well… It’s very… Spring in Roma’s arena, I guess ?
    I’m sure it would have been the thing, back in the days where the boys were slaves, battling for their lives against lions and other gladiators.
    In fact, I’m pretty sure Donatella has finally given in her grudge of not having been called by Ridley Scott to design the costumes for his “Gladiator” and screamed “f**k it, I’m gonna show him !”.
    … And Scott just watched the runway show and thought he had been wise…

  • Vyy Nguyen

    Why is everyone here being so shallow ? Fashion is art for god’s sake…

  • Trisha26

    Menswear. Yum.

  • ccm800

    Thighs, Thighs, Thighs yeah!