Stacy Keibler in Jay Godfrey

Posted on June 29, 2012

Emmas, we don’t know if you noticed, but we’re a couple of homosexuals. And as such, we are not predisposed to loving the super-sexy, tight little minidress because we’re so obviously not the audience for it.

But we’ve got to say, if we were somewhere and a lady strolled in looking like this, we, like virtually every other male in the room, wouldn’t be able to take our eyes off her.

Stacy Keibler attends a preview of Wii U hosted by Nintendo in NYC in a Jay Godfrey ‘Bruno’ dress in emerald silk jersey.

Jay Godfrey Spring 2012 Collection

That is one long, tall, TAN drink of water going on right there. Is this stylish and chic? No, of course not. Does she look SLAMMIN’? You bet your ass – and let’s face it, that’s not easy to pull off when you’re forced to pose with toys. The heady days of appearing on Clooney’s arm at the Oscars may be behind her, but she can still work a look, no matter where she is.

BUT.

As homosexuals, we have a few things to say. The clutch and shoes are really awful choices to go with this color. The earrings are pretty, but again, don’t really punctuate the dress. She seems to have decided that because the dress is vivdly colored, grey was the only way to go on the accessories. Pshaw to that. It’s summer, honey, and right now you are the very definition of a California blonde. Brightly colored accessories would have been fine, if not preferred. And the hair looks a bit flat and kind of matronly. Our drama-seeking homosexual selves would have told her to go with a big Bardot-esque blowout, but we realize most ladies probably wouldn’t want the hassle. At the very least, something with a little more body and zhuzh to it would have helped.

And honey, we say this with love and concern: skin cancer. Also: wrinkles. Latch on to whichever one you fear the most and use that to remind yourself why you shouldn’t over-tan. You look sexy as hell, put the piper is going to come for payment sooner than you think.

 

[Photo Credit: Getty, jaygodfrey.com]

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  • Nancy Williams

    Wait, wait, you guys are HOMOSEXUALS?  I’m outta here.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

       Snert!

      • Nancy Williams

        I just thought they were very good friends!  With cats! Named after fashion designers! 

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

           Who have lived together for years, in a very brightly colored home, blogging about fashion, and posting on a daily basis about some hot man or other,…
          wait a minute,…

          • PeggyOC

            I thought all those pictures of hot men were for their women friends and fans.

          • miagain

            I can’t read any more…I’m laughing too much… 

          • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

             This thread is precisely why I love the TLo community!

          • http://nipp.me/089 Glenda N. Paez

            Frankly, it looks like a swimsuit that ‘s made for larger women.  I just hate it...FreeLancerGetWork7.notlong.com

          • Lisa

            What, they’re gay?  I thought all those shirtless pictures of Joe Manganiello were just to even things out from all the lady pictures!  GASP!

        • librarygrrl64

          Yep, confirmed bachelors. Like Rock Hudson and Tony Randall.

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

             and you realize Tony Randall was the top in the relationship, do you not?

          • librarygrrl64

            Well, duh. ;-)

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

             Actually, the Odd Couple was a fictionalized version of their years together.

    • Sobaika

      Be sure to leave the Oreos with us on your way out!

  • Nancy Williams

    Wait, wait, you guys are HOMOSEXUALS?  I’m outta here.

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    I must say this.  I hate this dress.  Frankly, it looks like a swimsuit that ‘s made for larger women.  I just hate it.  

    • BazoDee

      I agree -the proportions look off. The tan is seriously distracting -like someone that has spinach in their teeth. I think the tan and the dress color almost clash. I like her hair like this, but some color in the accessories would have been nice. 

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=610791985 Aniela Marie Perry

         Awful tan, awful dress. The spinach stuck in teeth analogy is perfect.

        • http://profile.yahoo.com/XAFAJ53QF3DLEFQB3WTLMRM75E MarinaB

          The tan comes from a bottle fo sho!!!!  No worries of skin cancer there.

          • call_me_schmeg

            screw the tan…. i want the boobs. and the legs. and the…

          • Funkykatt

            You can buy the boobs.

          • Flooby

            Fingers crossed anyway.  It is remarkably even.  And weirdly deep on like her neck.  

        • YoungSally

          Guess George was craving chocolate this week.

        • Lisa

          I agree – the whole look is awful.  It’s just so Miami Beach Tacky (with all due respect to our Miami Beach Bitter Kittens).

    • boomchicabowwow

      BWAHHH!  I have a black swim “dress” that is shaped exactly like this!  Add that to the fact that she looks like she’s wearing a flesh colored swim cap and this goes from “hot chic” to “grandma at the lake” in an instant! Now I just can’t unsee it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      I’m with you.  The blue version is pretty much a longer version of my swimsuit.  

    • bellafigura1

      Total agreement.  She looks, as my sainted mother used to say, cheap. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, and not that it wouldn’t completely captivate the straight men in any room. 

    • Warrior89

      Swimsuit was my first thought too.  Icky.

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    I must say this.  I hate this dress.  Frankly, it looks like a swimsuit that ‘s made for larger women.  I just hate it.  

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    She does look delicious, even to these jaded old Faggyman eyes.

    • librarygrrl64

      “Jaded Old Faggyman Eyes” sounds like the most awesome bluegrass song ever.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

         (snorting with laughter)
        Actually I started thinking of how I could rewrite “Bette Davis Eyes”
        “All the boys, think that he’s high, he’s got, jaded faggyman eyes,….”

        • librarygrrl64

          Bwahahaha!!!! Iced tea, meet nostrils.

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

            Glad I could return the favor!
            And I secretly love the idea of a bluegrass song called “Jaded Old Faggyman Eyes”.

          • librarygrrl64

            Me, too! Wish I could write it. But I think it needs to be done by an old man with the word “Boxcar” somewhere in his name.

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

             You are SOooooo right!

  • Maigan Hulme

    There must be some latent heterosexuality in you two, because this girl looks CHEAP. Obviously her bod is bangin’, but come ON. She looks like a sorority girl who spent her allowance at Forever21.

    • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

      YES, THIS!

    • Aly Light

       Worse: She looks like Heidi Klum on a bad day.

      • http://twitter.com/NinjaCate Cate Young

        YES! she looks JUST like Heidi in these shots.

    • bellafigura1

      Like minds.

    • Kristin McNamara

      latent heterosexuality hahahahahahahahaha

    • GTrain

      Exactly!!

  • Spicytomato1

    The only thing I like about her look is her hairstyle. Actually, scratch that, I don’t really like anything about this look. She does have a slammin’ bod, that’s for sure.

  • getouttadodge

    The color is gorgeous; but to me, she looks like every female on a Friday night waiting to get into the club.

  • M_E_S

    I swear, there’s a girl in my program who wears dresses like this ALL THE TIME when we go out.  I’ve never understood it.  It just looks so damn UNCOMFORTABLE for dancing.

    • TheOriginalLulu

      Yeah, but the goal here is not comfort. It’s to make sure that all eyes, even the homosexual ones, are on you.

      • M_E_S

         Very true.  And it’s working, that’s for sure.

  • http://twitter.com/thedogsmother thedogsmother

    The solid inch worth of roots…

    • schadenfreudelicious

      WORD, she should spend less time on her tan and a bit more on her roots :)

  • Joyce VG

    I’m not nuts about her lip color and i’m not digging the color either….oh it’s fun to be critical of a beautiful woman with an amazing body and a hot boyfriend.  Thanks TLo! I mean Thanks Stoneys!

  • janetjb

    Stacy looks beautiful, but I don’t like her dress, shoes or clutch.

  • RebeccaKW

    The dress isn’t that spectacular-it looks like a nightgown.  But if the goal is make people stop and stare “BOOBS!  LEGS!” then, goal achieved.  It is a pretty great color on her, though.  The hair-when you look at the faraway shot and you don’t really focus on her face, she looks like the Klum.

    • TheOriginalLulu

      I’d be willing to bet that the Klumster has this dress in her closet, too.

  • http://www.filmsbyneptune.com/ Dani Colman

    I want to know about the secret support system she’s got going under there.  That doesn’t look like a dress that’s designed to be particularly uplifting – how’s she hiding the cantilevers?

    • MilaXX

       Nothiing that any demi cup bra wouldn’t take care of.

      • Peri7473

        or the surgically implanted permanently uplifted type.

        • MilaXX

          true

  • Peri7473

    i guess that you gotta be male, straight or gay, to appreciate this.  for me, the dress looks too short and like it is caught on her hip,  pulling the fabric askew.  I agree with BWGP below, it does look like a plus size swimsuit.  She is certainly lovely, but this outfit isn’t doing it for me.

  • IMNAngryLiberal

    Am I the only one who thought this was another post about Blake Lively at first?  Anyway, Stacey looks fabulous and the color is great on her, but the dress looks cheap (as in inexpensive) and CHEAP.

  • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

    I like her better in black. But she has very little style.

  • MilaXX

    Considering she’s like 7ft tall & well proportioned, with access to nice frock it’s kinda hard for her to look bad,but I am unimpressed with this look. The dress is doing the heavy lifting here. I don’t mind the hair, but the shoes & bag are all wrong for this look.

  • Miranda Neville

    I always love that you know how to spell zhuzh

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

      Like all cultured homosexuals should, we speak fluent Polari: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polari

      Although we don’t agree with how Wikipedia spells “Zhuzh.”

      One of these days we’re going to write an entire post in Polari, just for the fun of it.

      “Love her bona togs, but her aunt nelly danglers are all wrong. She should have gone for something a little more bijou. The eek looks great and really sets off her ogles, but we don’t like the riah. The batts are gorge but they look too small on her lallie tappers. Still, the drag looks great overall (even if it is a little meese) and really shows off her lallies and jubes. You go, dona!”

      • PeggyOC

        I’d never heard of Polari. I just learned something! Who said fashion isn’t educational? Thanks, TLo.

        • formerlyAnon

           I had heard of Polari, but only from Brits. I didn’t know it was a transatlantic language! More education!

      • Sara__B

        Thank you for the continuing education. (Polari hasn’t made it to tiny towns on the Oregon Coast yet.) It will be fun to translate the Polari paragraph and see how close my guesses are.

        • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

          It’s a dead language. Even most modern gays don’t know anything about it. We all throw around terms like “Drag,” “Camp,” “Butch,” and “Queen” without really ever knowing the etymology.

          And we can guarantee back in the day the closeted gays of Oregon used it. It was purely underground.

  • Allyson Wells

    I assumed all celebs had a professional airbrush their tan on them nowadays… do you guys really think she’s laying out in the sun or in a tanning bed to achieve that glow? I’d guess she’s more careful with her skin than that, but I could be wrong!

  • Introspective

    what all the other emmas said: nice color, cheap dress we’ve seen in regular life like 40 jillion times before on a friday night.

  • TheOriginalLulu

    Also, she’s suffering from harsh Michelle Obama eyebrows.
    Honey, well-definied is one thing, but you shouldn’t look pissed off even when you’re smiling.
    Otherwise, this hetero woman has no problem admitting that the bitch looks hot.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=622570407 Alyssa Ball

    Love the color, but that’s about it. I will consider this my much needed inspiration to go to the gym today though!

  • David Lowe

    Honey, you are at a wii-u event. If you’re showing up in that green at least wear a plumber cap to go with it. Seriously, go full on point for this. The nerds and gamers will love you forever for it.

  • Ivona Foster

    I can’t with that tan!

  • Saucysusan

    How on earth can she sit in that thing? She has a great body, but surely she could find a more tasteful way to showcase it?

  • Kate4queen

    I think she looks lovely, healthy and happy.

    • boomchicabowwow

      STACY?! *waves* You have wonderful taste in blogs!

      • Kate4queen

        LOL I wish-just a mother of 4 who wishes she had those legs. :)

  • Anathema_Device

    Sorry, I think the dress looks cheap. My 13 yo daughter bought a dress in a similar color in the Juniors dept of Nordstrom for about $60. Not as short or booby as this, but kind of similar. Agree on the accessories.

  • SummerSquash

    That makeup is way too heavy. Love the dress and I think it stays just this side of trashy.

  • drdirection

    I think the aspect that makes her most beautiful is her confidence and smile.  That was the first thing I noticed.

  • AthenaJ

    I just can’t with that tan. It’s making her look more like a stick of beef jerky than a tall drink of water.

  • http://twitter.com/AmberAndronicus Fucking A.

    SHOES. 
    Those shoes. Those shoes. Those shoes. Gurl.NO.

  • http://www.facebook.com/izzzyy Dixie Murphy Ross

    My eye was instantly drawn to the Yoshi doll and the little Mario blocks. I don’t know if that says something about me as a gamer or about how “meh” the “hot blonde” thing is to me.

  • HomeOfficeGirl

    She looks amazing!  She’s got such a gorgeous fresh face!  Body is killah!  The color and cut of this dress is fantastic on her.  I’m surprised at all the bitter posts.  She’s tan – It looks great on her.  Might be really good spray tan – who knows?  90% of what celebrities do to look good is probably not “good for you”.  Football players get concussions.  Emma poses with Andrew.  Stacy tans.   Whaddayagonnado?

  • LuisaNL

    ta-cky! did she and clooney break up? cuz I can smell the desperation from here!

    • Wellworn

      I was wondering if they broke up too based on the comment from TLo about the heady days being behind her.  Not that I care…ya right.  But I just googled and they are together right now in Lake Como, so does TLo know something we don’t?  Again, not that it really affects me whether Clooney is single again, mmm hmmm.

  • Susan Crawford

    Every time I see someone sporting what appears to be a real tan, or a tanning-bed tan, I want to slap them silly. OK, I know she probably got this lolling on a yacht on Lake Como, or hanging around Cannes, but still: SKIN CANCER!! WRINKLES!! AGE SPOTS!! And, did I mention SKIN CANCER???

    But how much would I give to have that body, in that dress, with better accessories? A whole lot, commentariat. A whole lot.

  • Charles Barthelme

    I’d agree with your assessment if she wore it for more than 5 seconds in my fantasy world. Alas, it is removed in short order. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    Too tan, and the dress looks a bit shiny and cheap.  The shoes…gray? Its’ summer…get with the program.  Can’t knock the body though…

  • Lina_bee

    She is fun to look at, definitely. I have no idea if she has talents beyond being professionally gorgeous, but I hope there’s something more on her dance card than shilling for Wii.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_RHLSUVX3NCPB4OSS5BM7GZIXUE P. Capet

    it’s all a big no for me, but she looks happy in it.  i often don’t get her style but she seems really comfortable with whatever she chooses to wear and that’s a big part of looking good.

  • PinkLemon

    meh. she does absolutely nothing for me. and i’m kind of sick of her….PER USUAL.

  • http://twitter.com/delysia_lafosse Delysia LaFosse

    This is one of the frumpiest ‘sexy dresses’ I’ve ever seen. The shape isn’t doing hers any favors at all, the rouching makes it look like she’s trying to hide rolls of fat – which, clearly, she does not have. The shiny face, tightly pulled-back hair, and appalling tan aren’t doing her any favors either. Something sleeker would have suited her a lot better, while still managing the tits-and-legs look she was obviously going for.

  • Sara__B

    Sexy? I guess. But the baby heads, super short skirt, and Dancing with the Stars tan take this look into “trying too hard” territory. With another three or four inches on the skirt and a less aggressive bra, she’d still look sexy, but not desperate for attention.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000088447181 Sam Smith

    She matches the frog?  I can’t even say she looks slammin.  She is too orange, and the dress color and texture come of as cheap looking.  The shoes are horrible, the bag is cute, but not with the rest of the outfit.  

    The only I like in this photo is the frog, the rest is horrendous.  

  • msdamselfly

    Horrible–looks like a bathing suit

  • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

    Hallelujah for a SUMMER look, even if it’s not necessarily Earth-shattering. 

  • another_laura

    Holy cr@p!  Ms. Kiebler’s open for business, eh?

  • bluefish

    Obviously an eye-popping mixture of elements — Hard not to stare at the cornucopia of vulgar she is serving up here!  I still cannot believe — and I don’t really know why — that she is Clooney’s girlfriend.  Just relentlessly tacky all the time.  Sensational body for real — The tan screams George Hamilton!

  • elleg929

    She looks like a giant oompa-loompa.

  • elleg929

    She looks like a giant oompa-loompa.

  • sweetestsith

    The dress looks cheap and crappy, and I’m not into blondes, and I *still* think she’s rocking the hell out of it and looks awesome. Impressive in my book! 

  • SophiaPehawkins

    Ignore her, look at Yoshi! I want that so bad.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=4501978 Martha Jackson Deutsch

    No. No. No. This looks like one of those old-lady bathing suits, useful for covering up the jiggly bits. 

    • Caaro3

      What she said. Plus, the implants are too obvious.  

  • granddelusion

    Because she looks grotesque. Did this woman have any cred before she dated Clooney?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1540233153 Malve Lyborg

    I like it, but then again I’m a sucker for “Difficult colour, green”. 

  • momogus

    Not to be my grandmother, but that skirt is tooooo short.

  • nannypoo

    If by sexy you mean slutty-looking and wearing a dress that looks like it costs $29.99 then, yeah, really sexy.

  • nancylee61

    I have two words: fake boobs.

    They look really fake here, when they normally don’t. I don’t know, they look really tacky.

    Are she and George over? I swear, that man is hiding something, and it makes me sad.

  • CPK1

    pretty girl, amazing body BUT fugly dress, ridiculous tan and pinhead……….

  • guest2visits

    I’m probably the only one that thinks the dress would actually look better just a few inches longer. Cuz it would look more like a dress,
    less like a bathing suit cover. I think the model’s is just a bit longer than Stacy’s. Too short is kind of desperate, unless you’re a child.
    Otherwise; I like her shoes and accessories, and she looks amazing.

  • quiltrx

    I hate this dress, and her legs look like Magda from There’s Something About Mary.

  • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

    I don’t like it.  But I’m a straight woman, so I’m obviously not the target audience.

  • frankystein123

    She just doesn’t do it for me. You cannot just wear a clubbing dress and still set your hair that severely.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/EMW7LN5K75OUYGX5C2VIHOVS4M Gloria K

    I’m trying to decide if I should have a second tab open in my browser so I can google these people.  I am so out of touch!  When Clooney’s name came into the commentary, I was able to say “Ahh, I get it”.  But for the most part, love the fashion, wouldn’t miss the dialogue, but don’t have a clue who most of the  people are.

  • Lilak

    I’m not havin’ it.  She looks like a casino billboard in human form.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Louise-Bryan/1177213326 Louise Bryan

    Very attention grabbing.  Not chic atall.  A propos for a gaming thing…maybe.  Could be a geekfest.

  • Judih1

    Looks like the older sister of “Boobs legslyl” – aka Blake Lively

  • TomBord

    if international male did dressses……….they’d look like that. 

  • librarygrrl64

    Meh. I think she and the dress look cheap.

  • butter nut

    in that first picture, something about the cut, the material & the way she’s styled, makes it look like she’s wearing an old lady’s swimming costume.  you know, the kind that’s a bathing suit, with a little bit of a modesty skirt on the bottom.  slap on a bathing cap & swap out the background for a pool at the Y & the outfit looks more appropriate.

  • laurenoodle

    She is beautiful but this is NOT working. Her skin is darker than her hair, which is never a good look. I think she would look great if she dyed her hair back to her natural color and used much less faux tan. 

  • EEKstl

    She looks like she just realized she’s 12 minutes into her 15 minutes of fame.

  • GTrain

    I think she looks desperate. Shopping for a millionaire or a new date for the 2013 awards season.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1303837450 Lauren Dorsee Dillon

    THANK YOU for that last bit. August marks 20 years since melanoma killed my father yet people still roll their eyes at me when I talk about the dangers of tanning. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VA5XLSF3QRELSC3MUFSXLP4EIE rebecca

    No. Tack-AY. Jeesus, she looks low rent in that.