Michael Fassbender at the “Prometheus” London Premiere

Posted on June 01, 2012

Darlings, here is your Morning Fassie. It’s long overdue. It’s also kind of hilariously bad.


Michael Fassbender attends the world premiere of “Prometheus” in London.

Yes, the face is cute, but let’s focus, people. The fit here is, as always with Fassie we’re sorry to say, execrable. The pants are too long, as are the shirt cuffs, and the jacket is too tight.  We have no idea why anyone would choose a heavy knit tie at this time of year. Also, we’re starting to suspect when he gets in a limo, he curls up in a little ball on the floor, for some reason. It’s the only explanation we can come up with as to why his clothes are always so wrinkled.

We coined “Pulling a Jolie” for those times when actresses don’t put the effort in and we’d love to start using “Pulling a Fassie,” but anyone who saw Shame will find it hard to read that phrase without picturing something entirely different from its intended meaning.


[Photo Credit: Awais/PacificCoastNews.com, Landmark/PR Photos]

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  • Anathema_Device

    Ack, male scroll-down fug, per your sisters in blog bitching.

    Reminds me of something a neighbor girl said to her mom when she was asking for some new shorts or a skirt or something: “I look at myself, and I like my hair, face, and shirt, but the outfit is sad in the pants.”

    This is sad in the pants.

    •  “Sad in the pants”  I LOVE this.

      • RebeccaKW

         Maybe it’s a cry for help.  He needs me to make him happy in the pants.  I’m on my way, Fassie!

        • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

          he makes me happy in the pants on Thank God It’s Fassday.

    • I want that girl’s autograph.

      • Anathema_Device

        The best part is that she is the sweetest, most earnest kid you’d ever want to meet. She wasn’t even trying to be funny. She was just truly sad in the pants.

        • quiltrx

          Love this story!  My hubby and I have, for many years, tagged “in my pants” on just about anything.  So “I’m sad in my pants” has been uttered around here more times than I can count!

    • Stallett

      Love your reply and username in equal measure.

  • The only possible solution is to get him OUT of those offensively bad clothes, AT ONCE!

    • AMEN, brother.

    • librarygrrl64

      You beat me to it.

      • I may be short, but when it comes to my Fassy, I’m fast!

        • librarygrrl64

          Hahahaha! Enjoy. 🙂

  • Sobaika

    Wrinkles, you say? Hadn’t noticed. I’m too busy drooling all over my computer screen at work. Professionalism be damned.

    • Ditto. Does he have a lazy eye? And could it be possible that slight flaw ADDS to the cuteness? Have I been staring too long?

  • Lina_bee

    Oh, Fassie, whoever did you borrow this suit from? Surely there’s a story there.

  • Can’t get past the knit tie. A knit tie??

  • MzzPants

    Gah!  I had to go find pretty pictures of him to erase this from my mind.  

  • Nice beard!
    And since I haven’t seen the “Shame”, help me out here: do the curtains match the carpet?

    •  Yes.

    • charlotte

       I don’t know…I’m totally into beards normally, but this one isn’t working for me.

    • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

      dropping all pretenses of decency, he’s a glorious firecrotch and hung like a mule.

      • mountainFashionista


      • BayTampaBay


  • schadenfreudelicious

    May i have my morning Idris Elba from same premiere??. 🙂

    • RzYoung

      I read that he wasn’t at the premier 🙁 Must be off filming somewhere.

      • schadenfreudelicious

        ah, too bad…:( must be the new movie where he will be playing Mandela

    • Well, that’s disappointing.

  • I don’t care. I still would! He’s rumpled from all the pussy he’s getting in the limo!

    • Patricia Hoffman

      Yes! I thought, “Really? You can’t think of ANYTHING ELSE he might be doing in the limo to get so disheveled? Or anyone, I suppose?”

  • RzYoung

    Hahaha, I’d love to pull a fassie 

  • jahphotogal

    I have tried hard to get on the Fassbender train – I loved Jane Eyre and thought he was wonderful in it, but there’s something just not quite “it” about him for me. He’s such a skinny little guy maybe that’s why he’s hard to fit?

  • What a poorly fitted suit. Here, Michael, let me help you take it off.

  • Aurumgirl

    “Sad in the pants” manages to be both kind and devastating.  I’ll never look at a photo of Fassie again and not think “Sad in the pants”.  But that tie will also make me think of my Woodshop class’ teacher, Mr. Hebor, who wore the same knit tie for a few generations of high school students.

    To me, the jacket is far too tight, especially at the shoulders–you can see his arms push out further than the shoulder pads!  Clothes should never fit like that. 

  • gabbilevy

    You know what, I so don’t even care. *Imagining him in his crisp British officer uniform in Inglorious Basterds*

  • Just back from the film…. there is NOTHING of him… he is such a slim little thing.. no waist, no hips, fab arse… is that why the trousers always look shite?? Enquiring minds must know!!

  • AthenaJ

    Poor thing, his legs must have shrunk. That’s the only reason I can think of why a sane person would wear dress pants so ridiculously long.

  • He desperately needs a stylist.  It’s not that he can’t look amazing in a suit.  He looks amazing in photoshoots. 

    But I forgive him because he’s an astonishing actor and KILLS IT in Prometheus.

    • It is terribly scary and gross?  Because I love me some Idris Elba, and I really want to see it, but I’m a little leary.

  • BeeBeauNYC

    It’s hard for me to focus on the fashion when it’s Michael Fassbender. Can we get Hot Ginger Handler as Fassbender’s handler so that they’ll be photographed together?

    •  Oh that might just be too much hot ginger realness in one spot.  Though I sure would love to see it.  dayum

      • turtleemily

        Damian Lewis and Fassie were both in Band of Brothers, for all your hot ginger needs. 🙂

  • RebeccaKW

    I really wish he’d make more of an effort.  He is so good looking.  I hate to think he believes he’s too handsome to have to put an effort in.  If he’s going to be this lazy about it, I wish he’d just start showing up in tight, tight jeans with no underwear and a tight tshirt.  At least let us see the goods.

    • Corsetmaker

      I don’t think it’s choosing not to make an effort so much. It’s just that the scruffy Irishman in him outweighs the immaculate German 🙂

      • RebeccaKW

         And I do so love a scruffy Irishman…

  • He has an extreme swimmer’s build.  Slender legs, tiny hips and waist, very built upper body. 

    • Woops, that was supposed to be in reply to someone above.

  • I don’t get the Fassbender love. ????

    • MilaXX

       He cleans up good.

    • Rand Ortega

       2 words: Netflix. Shame.

      You’ll get it.

      • Saw it for the second time last night. It gets better with repeated viewing. He’s fab in the role and he’s amazingly well hung. Cmon over here, Fassie, I’ll help you get happy in the pants.

      • ooh, I wish it were on-Demand. It would be my “the kid and the husband are away tonight” movie. (My husband might like the movie, based on what I’ve read, but also based on what I’ve read, I have no desire to pretend I’m not watching the show and then stroke my husband’s, umm, ego, after seeing Fassbender on screen)
        Wonder if another 2 words will work: Red Box?

        • Libby Rhoman

          It’s definitely a boner-killer.  At least for me.  o_o

          • susu11

             Oh you’re not the only one Libby. Aside from Fassie being ‘impressive’, the film was not really titillating at all. He gives an absolutely devastating performance, I was in tears at the end. Fassie was totally robbed of an Oscar nomination.

  • Snailstsichr

    This is so totally wrong, it looks like he got the wrong luggage at the airport and wore a stranger’s clothes.

  • I’m dying at the mental image of him curled up on the floor of a limo.

  • bitchybitchybitchy

    Even a less than impeccably dressed Michael Fassbender brings a shit-eating grin to my face!

  • MilaXX

    I play a game with myself when I come here. I look at the pics and first then read T & Lo’s commentary. My first impression looking at this was that the suit was both too big and too small at the same time.

  • afabulous50

    NOOOOO….oh, those pants!!

  • kirkyo

    That last pic tho has me forgiving EVERYTHING. Also, good hair.

  • Chaiaiai

    OMG.  TLO.  I just had an epiphany.  Without your tutelage, I would have, I’m ashamed to say, fallen right into the Fassie-is-hotter-than-the-surface-of-1000-suns thing.  However, I calmed myself, prepared for the scrolldown, and was UNDERFUCKINGWHELMED by his “effort”.

    TLO: saving observers from mediocre judgement since the beginning of time.  Bless you. 

  • susu11

    Oh Fassie…when bad clothes happen to beautiful people. Tragic.

    Also why does it seem like his hair has so many little cowlicks? Is that a thing now? I loves me a ginger beard though…

  • alyce1213

    I like his pocket square.

  • AWS

    Rumor I love keeping alive: he’s January Jones’ baby daddy.

    Yeah, the suit is tight and wrinkled but you know he’s having limo sex with some hot broad on the way over…

    • susu11

      oh dear God, I hope he’s not the father of Jones’ baby. The rumor I heard is that Bobby Flay is the papa, but they’re keeping it under wraps cause he’s married to another woman. Scandalous!

      Getting ass in the limo excuses Fassie’s wrinkled suit, but not that knit tie. That knit tie is sad.

      • AWS

        I haven’t IMDBed him but I thought Fassie was married as well…

        What I’ve seen of January Jones in interviews is not likeable. 

        I was hoping Jason Sudeikas was the father.  She dated him for a couple of days.  But I guess the timing is off on that rumor or she cheated on him. 

        • susu11

          Being the fangirl I am, I checked and saw Fassie is not married 😉 

          Have you seen the Mad Men cast on Inside the Actor Studio? January Jones seemed especially unlikeable to me in that interview. (She looked especially stinked-face when Kieran Shipka (Sally) was introduced)

          I think Jason is dating Olivia Wilde now? (God I am such a celeb gossip whore) I always thought he seemed too nice and normal for JJ

          • AWS

            I most certainly did see her on Actors Studio!  I first saw her on Oprah with Jon Hamm and she treated Jon like an older brother who is mom’s favorite.  He has that long time gf in real life.  I’ll bet you anything JJ made a pass at JH during Season 1 and it was unrequited.  Theory.  But I like it!

            Yes, Jason is dating OW now.  Snore.  She’s so skinny she looks like a hanger.  

  • Even when a rumpled fashion mess, Michael Fassbender just oozes charm.

  • mmc

    TLo writes “Yes, the face is cute, but let’s focus, people….”

    I’m sorry, did you say something?

  • MsMajestyk

    Sorry TLo, I can’t focus AT ALL on what’s below the face.  Hello ginger beard!  Okay, okay, the saggy crotch of his trousers and knit tie are making my eyes twitch.

  • TheOriginalLulu

    Also, too much beard.

  • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

    as an actress, mother, and big fat hairy gay bear, i just want to point out that his ginger beard…  well, i just want to point that out.  my only complaint about his clothes is, as usual, that he is wearing any.

  • mozzer0906

    So disappointing.  I just watched XMen First Class and it truly made me love him even more.  He has the BEST on screen presence.  

  • Joyce VG

    Yeah okay…but who cares!! *swoon*

  • Susan Crawford

    Pants like accordian-bellows, wrinkly jacket, bad tie – but, oh, that ginger beard and those naughty eyes.

  • I like a little Fassbender as much as the next woman, but where are the Idris Elba pictures?  Surely he attended that same premiere.

  • XPT

    Yep, the outfit is a mess. Now just think about what’s under it.

  • You know, I think Fassie and Christian Bale should play brothers at some point in their careers.

  • egl48

    I love it when he lets his ginger hair show.

  • Dan_In_NYC

    I don’t see one thing I like.  Maybe the proportion of the collar on that shirt.  If you are genetically gifted Fassie wearing a suit and tie – and my favorite thing is the collar on your plain white dress shirt?  That is not good.

  • Vlasta Bubinka

    So sad… the only thing that can purge this from my mind is some naked Azazeal…

  • j_anson

    Wow, he managed to go from “incredibly hot playboy” to “jovial uncle at the (oddly formal) family Christmas party.”

  • First time I’ve seen what all the fuss (fass?) is about

  • He needs some suit training from Ewan McGregor – STAT!

  • guest2visits

    Looks like someone gave him a big, linty hug, too bad; I love his look, – good attitude overcoming suit defects.

  • DaveUWSNYC

    I’d gladly kneel and do some hem work…and steaming.

  • MC B

    Ha ha I laughed at “he curls up in a little ball on the floor”, imagining Fassie actually doing that!  Also, the poster to his left hand (our right) says “Meth”.

  • LinXGUA

    He was also playing with a cat, because his jaket is dirty. 

  • golspie

    Brown hair, ginger beard? Fuck no!

    • kimmeister

      I’m confused by how that even happens, given that it doesn’t appear that either one of them is dyed.

  • Meh. Fassie has never done it for me. Maybe I’ll change my mind after I see “Shame,” but for now, just “Meh.”

    • Patricia Hoffman

      I agree.

  • I mean, tousled ginger locks and beard go a long way, but really …..

  • In some of the pics he looks like the love child of Chris Pratt & Bryan Cranston. 
    Do you think “Fosse, Fosse, Fosse!” should be replaced by “Fassie, Fassie, Fassie!”?

  • turtleemily

    It’s the suit version of a mullet.

  • msdamselfly

    Looks great except for the pant length

  • another_laura

    Dear Stars, it simply could not be easier.  Get. A. Fitting.

  • apparently in GQ he just lives out of a couple of suits in his wardrobe, and he lives by himself, this is probably why his suits are so wrinkled. I KNOW YOU ARE DOWN TO EARTH FASSY, BUT GET SOMEONE TO IRON YOUR SHIT BEFORE GOING TO A PREMIERE

  • ccm800

    He can curl up in a ball on my floor any tie he wants. 

  • quiltrx

    LOVE his hair here, and his smirk.  The rest…well, honey, go find Ewan McGregor and ask him for some lessons.

  • imho, he and that face of his look better when the hairs are a bit more shorn then they are at the moment. that suit, though…depresses me. PUFs, it behooves me to introduce you all to Fassy’s Fancy Footwork as a pick-me-up until the next post: 

  • frankystein123

    Horrible execution Michael, for SHAME.

  • CatherineRhodes

    Seems like “Pulling a Jolie” just means she’s a bit lazy with her styling. She never looks bad.

    On the other hand, Fassbinder doesn’t look lazy on the details — he looks downright awful.

    (For the record, I’d love to “pull a Fassie.” Meet me in the guest house in 10 minutes.)

  • donkeygospel6

    Eh, his dick’s not that big.