Malin Akerman (x2)

Posted on June 11, 2012

To close out our three consecutive (x2) posts, we present Miss Malin, who has inadvertently provided a perfect illustration of why we like to do these types of compare-and-contrast posts. It’s because the really fun dressers (note that we did not say the really good ones) present an almost drag-like ability to switch up their looks.

For instance, there’s the sextastic, “This dress could hit the floor with a flick of my wrist” attention-seeking Malin:

Malin Akerman attends premiere of “Rock of Ages” in Los Angeles in Reem Acra.

And really, there’s not much that needs to be said about that one.

But there’s also the slightly demure, but no less attention-seeking, “I’M AN ACTRESS, BITCHES” getup:

Malin Akerman attends premiere of “Rock of Ages” in London in Marchesa.

And while we don’t love her makeup and really don’t even love the dress all that much, we think this look is one of the better ones we’ve seen on her and she clearly loves the way she looks in it. This is the direction you should be heading in, dear. Free advice from us. Also: love your shoes.

[Photo Credit: David Gabber, Winston Burris, Emiley Schweich, Landmark/PR Photos]

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  • http://133t.us/gn Angelina M. Braden

    This is the direction you should be heading in, dear. Free advice from us. Also: love your shoes...DailyJobPosition3.notlong.com

  • hughman

    After this and Zeta-Jones’ dress, I shudder to think that “faux-nude covered with leaves” is a thing now. 

    • Lina_bee

       Don’t forget Chastain.

      • Sobaika

        I’ll never recover from that boobular mess.

        • Sarah M. Jeffries

          Please let this trend die and bloody, violent, and quick death...PositionWorkOnline.notlong.com

    • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

       I’m shuddering as we speak…

      • MilaXX

         shaking right next to you.

    • Judy_S

      Of the 3 (including Chastain) this is the best, though. I think because the nude part is faux….

  • SpcilK

    Totally agree! She looks lovely in the Marchesa dress. Try to work along these line and leave the Battlestar Galactica looks for someone that knows how to wear them.

    • M_E_S

       Awesome BSG reference is awesome.  Tricia Helfer would look great in a paper bag.  With side cutouts.

  • ccm800

    boyish hips. Padded ass. 

  • Aurumgirl

    I cannot bear to see another starlet’s belly.  Please let this trend die and bloody, violent, and quick death.

    • MoHub

       I also don’t want to see any more of a starlet’s boobs than a little cleavage on top. I do not want to see the inside, outside, or underside; it just ain’t attractive.

  • Lina_bee

    This Marchesa is — surprise — really not working for me at all. Maybe if it were more than a bedazzled slip, but it isn’t.  The Reem Acra just shrieks desperation.

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    Dress number one is vulgar, vulgar, vulgar.

    • Qitkat

      True that, and yet, I like her in it. The tat works too.
      [call me slutty ;-0]
      She does look quite at ease in it.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

         I have to agree that she looks like she loves it and is quite comfortable in it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lucía-Gavello/1253586868 Lucía Gavello

      And unflattering to boot, for a near naked dress on a killer body, it makes her look kind of boxy from the side. And call me old fashioned, but visible hipbone is a big no-no in my book.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

         I live is SF, where public nudity is not illegal, and there are a group of folks routinely seen sans habit.  However, there is a way to be fully dressed and look tacky as hell.  Case in point,…….

      • MK03

        I’m stunned that a dress with that many cutouts somehow manages to obliterate her figure. Seriously, how does that work??

  • joe_tey83

    Poison Ivy from Batman will love the second dress. Just like how much she love that Zeta-Jones’s dress. When did Poison Ivy become such a fashion inspiration?

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6RS6NLL44AED3E4QWIYTDQGU6I Psy_Chick

      I think fashion designers are secretly frustrated that Poison Ivy isn’t one of the villains in The Dark Knight Rises, and they’re taking it out on us.

  • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

    That Marchesa looks like a Junior High art project.

  • filmcricket

    Sigh. The figure skater illusion netting trend needs to die now. If the stuff actually fit like a second skin, that would be one thing, but all those dresses look so wrinkly. Is there a Lycra shortage in the world I’m unaware of? Also, I want those J. Choos she’s wearing.

    The first dress … well, I give her props for having the bod to pull it off, I guess.

  • Lisa Dugan

    The second look is miles better.  The first, while pretty from the back, is all sorts of unflattering from the front.

  • M_E_S

    At least you can tell she has a second dress under the gold leaf and it looks intentional, which is half of the reason I think it looks better than what Jessica Chastain wore last night.  The other half is that she clearly is loving it and is comfortable in it.    

  • TieDye64

    Dress #1 is all sorts of gawd-awful tacky.

  • jmorino08

    She is so gorgeous! She could easily hit a home run every time she steps on the red carpet, but I think in trying to be interesting, she’s losing sight of the hotness!

  • norseofcourse

    So, did ANYONE look good at the “Rock of Ages” premieres? 

    • carolynmo

      That’s just what I was thinking! sad, sad dresses. . .

  • ItchyInKentucky

    Dress #1 – As Nina would say, “There is a taste issue.”
    Dress #2 – Attack of the Leeches.

  • eight_of_nine

    While I think both dresses are pretty tacky, she looks so happy and beautiful that I can’t begrudge her a silly dress or two.  Best she’s looked in AGES.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BARN2K234KUKPF5RACXYEFZ4HI Maggie

    Her body is bangin. How does she look so square in that first dress? Why would you put something on that makes it look like you have no waist? And it’s just so slutty.

  • nannypoo

    She looks skanky in both, in my opinion.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    Dress #2 is fine and she looks lovely, even though the hair is a little severe. Dress #1… The only word I’ve got is “whore.” I do apologize. I ought to be able to do better than that.

  • snarkykitten

    that second dress looks like she has some kind of creepy crawly growth on her arms

  • Allison Woods

    Blech….slutty tats. Can’t get past it.

    • snarkykitten

       neck tattoos are slutty now? wait, what’s wrong with women having sex anyway?

  • BazoDee

    She’s trying to prove something to someone in that first dress- an ex boy/girlfriend or a director that said she was too sweet for the role or some such.

  • Elizabeth_10

    That first dress?  Trying way too hard.

    I can’t stand her hair.  It looks so overprocessed and it’s just the wrong color or something.  It screams “fake.”  

  • MilaXX

    As much as I’m not a fan of the illusion netting, I prefer the second look to the hoochie first look.

  • turtleemily

    She’s gorgeous but needs to go back to being a brunette.

  • Call me Bee

    Oooh that Reem Acra dress just emphsizes that she has no waist.  And of all the nude dresses with shiny leaves strewn upon them, this one is the best version.  With her styling, Malin is wearing it the very best.  She looks great! 

  • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

    The first one is tragic (and just a slight breeze away from a serious wardrobe malfunction), but the second one is really pretty. 

  • Pennymac

    Wha…? How???? Huh…??  I LIKE the Marchesa? Has hell frozen over?

  • quiltrx

    This Marchesa isn’t Marchesa enough for me!

    And I normally really like Reem Acra, too, but I don’t care for this one.  Looks like trying too hard…and all that strappedy-doo-dah in the back looks like a Project Runway abomination that someone was safety-pinned into.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2VBWWGHZEBKTVQMXE5SO5NCU2I Mich

    she’s a good ten years older than julianne hough, but between styling and makeup/hair choices, they look about the same age

  • kikisayshi

    I don’t know if it’s just her body shape, but that cutout in dress #1 makes her look wide and straight through the middle.
     

  • PeaceBang

    The Marchesa looks ice-dancerish to me. 

  • guest2visits

    She looks amazing in the Marchesa. If someone can look that good in a dress; why would they EVER in that first piece of trash.
    Love her whole look in silver leaf dress, she needs to keep it.

  • GTrain

    i don’t like either one and i think the first one is just trashy. It looks chip.

  • Scarlet39

    The first one is vulgar and the second resembles a skin disease.

  • alyce1213

    The first dress is vulgar and jokey.
    The second dress is nauseating. The whole Marchesa aesthetic makes me sick.

  • RzYoung

    I hate that first dress with a passion -that cut out is the least flattering area on a woman’s body to have a cut out, other than maybe like the elbow or something, yuck

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1241487378 Lauren Lynch Fox

    Taste?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    She is so gorgeous, that watching her red carpet disasters pains me.  That second dress looks like her house plant attacked her on the way out the door.  The first one, is entirely too tacky.  

  • ChaquitaPhilly

    Icky and yucky on both outfits. 

  • Judy_J

    Tacky.

  • TheOriginalLulu

    I think she looks absolutely stunning in that second dress.
    The first one. I don’t know, but I don’t think it’s necessary for anyone to know when you’re not wearing underwear.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1401197785 Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

    Lovely Malin, a center part is not your friend, darling.

  • marilyn

    The first dress made her look like a block.  It took away her shape.  The cut-outs put it into stripper costume territory.  The second dress looks great on her.  I question wearing it during the day, but that is about it.

  • nancylee61

    The cutout at the waist of the first dress makes her look blocky, like she has no waist. The second dress looks much better on her.

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    Second dress is lovely.  First dress is Sluttastic.

  • golden_valley

    When is TLo going to start a commentary on starlets’ tattoos?   I’d think there is plenty to snark about…like on this babe.  What on earth was she thinking when she got that thing?  Obviously she wasn’t planning on wearing designer dresses when she got it.  I’m sure the designers don’t like tattoos competing with the dresses.

  • amywinns

    To TLo’s last point, she clearly loves both these looks and she is having fun at these RC events. And there’s something to be said for that… it’s a pleasure to see celebs clearly appreciating and enjoying their priviledge.
    That said, these are two tacky dresses, but at least the second one has some whimsy and character. The first look is 100% upscale gentleman’s club entertainer.