Dallas is BACK!

Posted on June 15, 2012

Fire up your Porsche, gitcher Stetson, and head on over to the Oil Baron’s Ball, bitches. The Ewing clan, in all their glorious dysfunction, is back in our lives. And y’know? The show is a hell of a lot better than a Dallas remake has any right to be.

No, really.

It’s good. It’s not Mad Men-level good; but it’s a pretty decent summertime cable soap opera helped along by an infusion of the DNA of a much better (for a time, anyway) network soap opera from the Golden Age of nighttime soaps. In other words, there’s a decent cast and a pretty decent setup for story, but let’s face it, the screen comes alive when Bobby, Sue-Ellen, and J.R. show up.

Bobby is still the sappy good guy he’s always been, completely unaware of any of his brother’s scheming, even though he’s spent most of his life opposing him. Bobby is in charge of Southfork now, and runs it with his wife, Not-Pam, who sips coffee a lot and occasionally pulls out a shotgun. We hate Not-Pam and her drapey sweaters and semi-weepy ways. She’s okay when she’s armed, but otherwise, she acts like she’s waiting for the Lifetime Television for Women Bus to come and pick her up so she can be dropped off in a movie of the week. Bobby is dying of cancer and, because this is a soap opera, tells no one. Not-Pam figures it out through superior detective skills, like accidentally tripping over a bottle of Bobby’s pills. Her eyes fill with tears. That happens a lot. Also: horses.

Sue-Ellen has a face of SCIENCE. She’s also considering a run for governor and is preparing for it by wearing really tight dresses that show off her cleavage. We suppose that will be helpful when her years of public alcoholism and arrest for shooting her husband come up during the campaign. Sue-Ellen has moved on from J.R. and shows her superior getting-on-with-it skills by agreeing to fund the heretofore-unseen oil drilling plans of the daughter of the cook at Southfork. Really. Never even looks at a proposal; it’s all just “I’ll have my lawyer send you a bag of money” and the deal is done.

Incidentally, it appears that all of Dallas is just floating on previously unknown lakes of oil just below the surface. The only thing a smart Texan needs to become a millionaire is a drill.

J.R. is very old and living in a nursing home. No matter what else the show did with its premiere, that one image was enough to justify the story. It was a brilliant way to kick things off and while his depression was almost as disconcerting as his EYEBROWS OF DELICIOUS EVIL, it was great fun to see him practically leap out of his seat and into a waiting Stetson upon hearing the news that his idiot brother plans on selling Southfork. We question the idea of hanging a new show on the shoulders of an actor as aged as Larry Hagman, but goddamn if his performance wasn’t a pleasure to watch. Hagman, you can tell, really enjoys the hell out of J.R. and consequently, his J.R. enjoys the hell out of life – when it’s going his way. But let’s face it; it’s always going his way.

Yes, there are schemes within schemes and double, triple, and possibly even quadruple-crosses going on. At one point, a hidden camera was revealed as two characters had sex. “Why is there…?” asked Lorenzo. “It’s Dallas,” replied Tom. “Every hotel room has hidden cameras in them; just like every office has a safe.” Once you accept the world these characters live in (and why shouldn’t you?), it’s fun to watch the show indulge in pretty much every night time soap opera trope, from land deals to oil deals to dramatic weddings to tragic romantic triangles, it’s all set up quite efficiently in the first hour.

But the show isn’t quite about the Old Guard. They’re all serving important functions and driving the action in a lot of ways, but that’s because they hold all the money. The real drama is playing out among the Ewing second generation; in this case, J.R. and Sue-Ellen’s son John Ross and Pam and Bobby’s son Christopher. John Ross is, no surprise at all, a schemer like his father, and Christopher is a wide-eyed naif with big plans and impressive tits. In other words, he’s the 2012 version of 1981 Bobby. John Ross wants to drill on Southfork and the ghost of Miss Ellie intoning “There will be no drilling on my land!” hung over the proceedings. Or at least her will, which states “There will be no drilling on my land!” did. Christopher wants to extract methane from the sea floor as an alterna–zzzzzzzz. Whatever. You know his plan’s going to fail. You also know his marriage is. But this is Dallas, after all. You watch because you want to see wealthy, attractive people have their plans fail and their personal lives implode.

We didn’t go into this with sky-high expectations, but it turned out to be pretty much as enjoyable as any episode of Revenge, its distant grandchild. And the best part is, if you’re someone (like us) who really doesn’t remember many of the details of the original show, or even if you’re someone who never saw it at all, it won’t affect your enjoyment in the slightest. It may be the same old story of Ewing vs. Ewing for all the oil, but it’s freshened up with new faces and virtually no references to old stories. You could come into this cold and get a handle on everything within the first hour. That may be the most impressive part of the script; that it kept it all so fresh.

It’s summer and this looks like fun, so we’ll be blogging it, if you want to catch up.

And Larry Hagman’s eyebrows deserve their own credit and possible Emmy nomination.

 

[Photo Credit: Zade Rosenthal/TNT]

Tags:

  • Sobaika

    So this is a remake, right? Not a spin-off or continuation? Because didn’t J.R. get shot? Or, uh, something.

    Sorry, I want to get into this show (namely for the eye candy) but I don’t know if watching the original Dallas is something I probably should have done beforehand.

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

      You honestly don’t need to know a thing about the original show. It’s all set up in the first hour.

      And it’s a rough continuation; picking up 20 years later and wisely ignoring most of the details of past stories.

      • Sobaika

        Awesome, thank you :) Looking forward to your recaps!

    • SassieCassy

      LMAO Im too young to have seen the first Dallas but I also know “WHO SHOT JR???” was a thing.

      • Jessi03

        If only b/c of “Who shot Mr. Burns????”

        • StillGary

          oh to be young!

        • Cautiously Pessimistic

           To my everlasting shame, I did not realize until YESTERDAY that the “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” episodes of The Simpsons were a parody of Dallas.  Even down to drilling for oil.

          • ChiliP

            Well if your shame is everlasting, mine must be everlasting plus some because I didn’t realize the connection until right now.   And to add insult to injury, I’m from Dallas! I wasn’t alive for a large portion of the show’s duration, but still…

          • Cautiously Pessimistic

            Yeah, the show premiered before I was born, but the “who shot JR?” thing is so pervasive that you’d think I’d have picked up on that before.  I guess I was distracted by Tito Puente being awesome.  ;)

    • MilaXX

      Oh gurl Don’t worry. It’s a continuation, but it’s a soap. You can jump in anytime. Also I believe JR was shot during the season that never was. Seriously they rebooted and entire season by making it a dream.  80′s night time soaps were just that cheesy.

      • Leslie Streeter

         No. That actually happened. Bobby was killed in the season of the dream. But yes…cheese abounded.

        • MilaXX

          Oops I get my timeline a bit mixed up.

    • laura512

      And yes, he got shot. But he lived.  You can’t kill of the main bad guy.

  • MsKitty

    I’m still on the fence on whether I’m gonna watch (the DVR dance card is full), but psyched to know you’ll be doing recaps.

  • thecitysleeps

    I watched this only because I’m procrastinating and wanted to waste some time and I ended up loving it and will continue to watch it.  I am 20 years old and I have no idea what Dallas was or who the older people are to be honest,  but JR is pretty awesome I gotta say. Is it OK to root for the bad guys?  It is right?  I mean Jr and his son Josh Henderson, will bring it on!

    • TheOriginalLulu

      Don’t worry, it doesn’t matter that you aren’t familiar with the original. As TLo said, you can jump right in.
      JR is one of the most awesome villains of all time and you can love to hate him or hate to love him, but he’s always fun to watch. Glad to see ole Hagman hasn’t lost his touch. :)

    • MikeW_PHX

       Yes, it’s okay to root for the “bad guy”.  Especially when the bad guy is JR Ewing with the “Eyebrows of EVIL”  

  • Spicytomato1

    I first caught wind of this the other night when I saw a preview and I honestly thought it was some kind of joke or parody…my brain just could not compute what was going on. I guess I thought Larry Hagman had passed away, hence the surreal feeling the preview gave me.

    So after being slow on the uptake, I might just have to give this a whirl since not much seems to be happening in TV land these days. Thanks for the recap!

  • Charles Barthelme

    Gah, thanks a lot guys. Now I have the theme song to the original Dallas going through my head. It’s too early for that. 

  • http://profiles.google.com/grandiva1968 e jerry powell

    I preferred Larry Hagman forcing Sanaa Lathan and Julian McMahon to have sex in front of him.

    • Sobaika

      OH DEAR GOD. I’d only known him as Major Anthony Nelson before and couldn’t believe what I was seeing. What a shitshow Nip/Tuck became.

      • http://profiles.google.com/grandiva1968 e jerry powell

         True, that.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EDI2DLE7DE3YPW2ONIHBWOVHMA ecallaw

         A-MEN.  I couldn’t believe how much i loved it at first and how quickly it spiraled out of control.

  • Leslie Streeter

    I KNEW YOU HAD TO RECAP THIS! I am so psyched. I actually came here just to see if you were gonna pay tribute to all the fabulous drama and to Linda Gray’s face, whose engineers deserve a Nobel prize. And I was not disappointed. Love it. Keep it up! Great show. Great post. The loving snark completes me.

  • bxbourgie

    I had no plans on watching this past the first 5 minutes of the first episode (meaning I watched the first few minutes, the opening theme song just for nostalgia’s sake and turned the channel to something else), but now that my fav recappers are recapping, I’ll give this a go.  :) I remember watching Dallas with my mom but the only thing I remember was Who Shot J.R.  Not who actually SHOT him, just all the hype around it because it was a season cliffhanger or whatever.  So what the hell, I’ll watch.

    • TheOriginalLulu

      I watched with my mom back in the day, too. It was one of “our shows”.
      I swear, when the opening theme song started, I got goosebumps! lol

      • StillGary

        Us too, and we always so sad when our invitations to the Oil Barron’s Ball were continually “lost in the mail” — that was our thang!

        • TheOriginalLulu

          lol Ours always got lost too! Must have been someone at the Post Office!
          I can still see my mother sitting on the sofa with her Michelob and a Virginia Slims, glued to the tv set when the show started. She wouldn’t get up to answer the phone or anything and even my dad knew not to bug her when she was watching JR. “Don’t call me unless you’re dying”, she would say.

          • StillGary

            Lu, I called mom and shared your comment (she will never trust the Internet, or computers for that matter). She laughed and said, SO RIGHT!

          • TheOriginalLulu

            Haaaah! Glad mom got a laugh! :)  No wonder this show is still so beloved. The memories it conjures up are priceless.

            …And for the record, my mom doesn’t trust “those computers” either. I swear her blood pressure goes up 10 points when she sees me paying bills online. Bless.

          • StillGary

            Bless LU!

      • BuffaloBarbara

         I guess it was definitely a show-with-Mom thing.  Every Friday.  It was a ritual.  Nothing else ever quite did the trick.

    • MilaXX

      because Dallas was before the days of DVR’s, On Demand and online viewing so there were no spoilers. We all had to wait util Friday night to find out at the same time and everyone was talking about this come Monday morning.

    • StillGary

      JIC anyone is still trying to remember it was Suellen’s sister played by Catherine Crosby. I do remember a surge in naming babies KRISTIN.

      • Corsetmaker

        Mary Crosby was is it not :) 

        • annrr

          It was Mary Crosby

          • Corsetmaker

            Yup, still remember the shops being filled with ‘Who Shot J.R.’ mugs etc. It’s sad that you couldn’t really whip up attention like that now because of online spoilers.

          • Wendi126

            She goes by Mary Crosby but her father the crooner and child abuser Bing Crosby always referred to her as Mary Katherine in interviews.

          • StillGary

            Haven’t seen her in ages but she was a striking young woman — lips like lyle lovitt!

        • StillGary

          D-oh! :) I was also saying (mistakenly) OIL Barron’s Ball instead of Cattleman’s Ball — I must be gettin a little dusty!!!

  • MilaXX

    Now Lorenzo don’t go expecting logic, just our a glass of wine and enjoy the cheese. I was a diehard  Dallas/Dynasty/Knots landing watcher back in the day. (No Falcon crest for me) I was happy to see they made this work. Between this is the USA network, my summer viewing is set. Also Linda Gray owes her plastic surgeon much money. Whatever work she has had is very tastefully done. Girlfriend is 71!

    • thecitysleeps

       Linda Gray is the woman that plays Sue Ellen?  HOW IS SHE 71?  WAT WAT WAT?

      holy crap!

      • MilaXX

        yup that’s her. Ironically enough Victoria Principle, who played Bobby’s first wife was married to a plastic surgeon and  messed her face up.

    • MsKitty

      I loved me some Knots Landing.  Abby Cunningham and her dark eyeshadow of evil was the shiznit.

      • MilaXX

        yes! and then she had the makeup line because we all needed 10 pounds if blue eye shadow. lol

    • http://www.deborahwiles.com/ GoodSally

       Dallas, then Falcon Crest, every Friday night. sigh.

  • mommyca

    SCIENCE has to be involved if Sue Ellen is going to look younger than Lucy!!!!
    Glad you guys are recapping…. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=677547537 John Hodgins

    Confession time:  I had a “Who Shot JR?” t-shirt, and like everyone else that summer, could not wait to see the reveal!!!

    • BuffaloBarbara

       I won a bet on the topic in fifth grade (well, made the bet in fourth grade).

  • vanjar

    I loved that they kept the old music and same visual style for the intro. As a character in this show you need to have to eyes in the back of your head , because almost everyone is a backstabber.
    I also admire the subtle product placements for Porsche and CBB. :)

  • Daniel Bayer

    Seriously. Larry Hagman has the EYEBROWS OF THE DEVIL and I LOVE IT!

    • Daniel Bayer

      …AND ALSO: “Never pass up a good opportunity to shut up.”

      And now I want a Victoria Grayson/J.R. Ewing showdown. YouTube, help me out here!

      • http://twitter.com/Goldielox73 Goldie

        I know!  I somehow want to work this into my conversations but I hardly ever tell anyone to shut up unless I’m pissed.  Then it’s more like “SHUT UP!!!” lol

    • laura512

      When he said “Bobby always was a fool”, and then turned to look at his son, I yelled “HE WASN’T DEPRESSED! HE WAS JUST BORED!!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=500077611 Stephanie Weaver

    *happy dance* Yay! This is gonna be a fun summer! 

  • http://twitter.com/ursny UrsNY

    How cool is it that it’s a continuation? I was never a regular viewer of the original, but enough that it was a cultural touchstone. The 2012 opening was more fun than I expected. Now I’m imagining this version going well and having it’s own follow-up 25 years later. A regular continuation through the centuries until the Ewings are brawling in space over their hydrocarbon claims on Titan.

    • http://twitter.com/purpleprose78 purpleprose78

       I think I love you.  Dallas in Space.  That would be better than star trek

    • JosephLamour

      That is just one of the funniest things I’ve heard this week.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/KCMF34GDZ6IMCJTZBQEO73C2VI Maureen

      Oooohh…I’m in love.  What a perfect series concept: Dallas on Saturn.  Fighting over who gets to wear the rings, who has the biggest ring, coveting each other’s rings, wives, space aliens, and orbiting trajectories…

      perfect!

      • http://twitter.com/ursny UrsNY

        DALLAS 2612: J.R.’s Personhood Implant and his 7th great grandson Xvim Ewing are plotting to divert ownership of Ewing Offworld from Bobby XV, while breaking their mama’s wishes to not experimentally harvest the asteroid belt.

    • BuffaloBarbara

       I love that it’s a continuation, and yeah… it could totally go on indefinitely.  And could totally Go There with the titan moons.  I so want SyFy to pick that idea up now. ;p

      • http://twitter.com/ursny UrsNY

        Oh, Syfy. Only if they’re wearing their special BSG hat and not their normal “random premise slapped together” hat.

  • http://twitter.com/SarahJLang Sarah Lang

    TLo + Dallas makes me SO happy. My favorite part is Bobby’s case of Night Time Soap Opera Television Cancer. You know, the kind where you grimace and grab your stomach and say “ow” a lot as you ride around your ranch on a big horse.

    • BuffaloBarbara

       And which will be completely cured or fatal depending on contract considerations.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/KCMF34GDZ6IMCJTZBQEO73C2VI Maureen

    Oh, TLo, I’m THRILLED that you’re going to blog this series.  I watched the opening and was semi-freaked about JR’s depression–until…UNTIL…He was BACK!  Just as evil as ever with plots, counterplots, backstabbing, and all kinds of maliciousness spewing from his pores. I was only a slight dabbler in the original program (that whole who-shot-JR thing), but this program was GOOD.  

    There is no question that JR is the center around which Dallas revolves.  I just have to pray for Larry Hagman’s continued good health because DAMN that man can bring it to the screen!! Didn’t you love the way he played his age card? A walker. Bed rest. Neither. A cane. Both. Throw the damn walker away. He is sharp as a diamond drill.And his eyebrows DEFINITELY deserve an Emmy.  Or an Oscar. Or a Tony. Or maybe all three. They’re that good.

    This just may satisfy my Revenge-mania until that program returns for the second season. 

  • SapphoPoet

    Is this available online? I would watch it as my guilty pleasure. 

    My dad wouldn’t let me watch it when I was a kid, but my friends in school did, so I knew the storyline from them. I remember begging my dad to let me watch the episode where we found out “Who Shot J.R.?” (He relented and I remember eating fudge ripple ice cream while watching the episode.) Then we moved to Europe, and found out it was HUGELY popular over there–I remember hearing about all the Brits who were taking bets on who shot J.R. Anyway, good times… 

    • Lilithcat

      Here ya go, darlin’!   http://www.dallastnt.com/series/dallas/video/

      • SapphoPoet

        Oh, thank you Lilithcat! I really need a silly soap opera this summer. J.R. is such a fabulous villian–I root for him every time. 

      • TieDye64

        Yay! Thanks for the link. I don’t have cable and I wanted to watch this so badly. I, and my future sis-in-law, faithfully watched it every week. It helped get us through High School. So fun. 

  • TheOriginalLulu

    I’m so thrilled that you’ll be blogging this! As someone who watched the original faithfully with my mom every week, I wasn’t about to miss this Wednesday night date with my TV and a bottle of wine. I agree with you that this was better than expected and I found myself squealing with glee several times during the show.
    Apparently Hagman wasn’t on board with this project at first (I’m assuming he was holding out for money), but I’m so glad they were able to get him on the show. JR is one of my favorite TV characters of all time (along with Alexis Carrington-Colby and Nellie Oleson), and it was so cool to see him again. He’s just as much a bastard as he used to be and I love it! 

    • http://www.deborahwiles.com/ GoodSally

       ”JR is one of my favorite TV characters of all time (along with Alexis Carrington-Colby and Nellie Oleson)…”

      What a triumvirate!

  • Judy_J

    I’m so glad you guys are blogging Dallas.  I was a huge fan of the original series (well, right up until Pam woke from a season-long dream and found formerly dead Bobby in her shower.)  I didn’t expect much from the new series, but watched it anyway, because I was such a devotee of the first go-round.  I, too, was pleasantly surprised.  Larry Hagman is a joy to watch, Linda Grey looks amazing (kudos to you, girl!) and Patrick Duffy is as boring as ever.  I was happy to see Charlene Tilton and Steve Kanaly make apperances, wished they’d been given more to do, but hey, at least they were there.  I’ve got the DVR set to tape, and I’m ready for the ride.

  • jmorino08

    The new Dallas is nothing short of magnificent! You summed up my thoughts perfectly guys!

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/J2VE4NE2FY2BP4QD2XOYKJGLPI Laura

    Was wondering whether you would cover this. Larry Hagman will be the best part of this. Also wondering if Charlene Tilton will have more of a role

  • Dept. Louise

    Oh, yay!!  I love that you’re going to blog this.  I lived in Dallas during the show (a reluctantly transplanted Chicagoan) and the whole things makes me feel nostalgic, even though I really hated living there.  It’s all High Camp, and you will have a blast with it.

  • Amy_R

    I luv luv LUVED Dallas. Patrick Duffy was my first tv crush. I sent him a fan letter and got an autographed pic of the whole cast, which I proudly hung in my 8th grade locker. Squeal!

    Im digging the reboot. I hope Bobby isn’t too old to start punching people again. What was the point of JR Jr. and Padma Lakshmi in Cowboys stadium?

  • sweetlilvoice

    Damnit, I may have to watch this. I thought Larry Hagman was dead too so I was scared when I saw his creepy face. I saw the preview for this at the movie theater. His face was huge! If you don’t need to know the back story, then I’ll give it a chance.

  • BayTampaBay

    Do not underestimate “Not_Pam”.  She is new to the plot and will take time to develop into a great character.

  • ballerinawithagun

    I didn’t watch the whole thing, but I did see the scene showcasing the Eyebrows of Delicious Evil! Amazing.

  • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

    I would never have thought to watch this but your re-cap made it sound like fun so why not right? I have fond memories from many a Friday night babysitting in the eighties and looking forward to Dallas and Falcon Crest. ha! And Mad Men is over.

  • Luee_T

    My husband and I watched every season of Dallas (even the GAWDAWFUL last few) courtesy of SoapNet and Netflix over the last few years, so we were psyched to watch this but prepared for full-on cheesiness. We were shocked that it might actually be a serviceable show! I am giddy that y’all will be blogging along (especially to fill my Mad Men void).

    FYI, for anyone needing a quickie intro/refresher to Old School Dallas, the show took advantage of their Facebook timeline and created a pretty hilarious summary through the eyes of JR. They even fill in the blanks between the end of the old show and the start of the new show, to set up JR’s situation (he lost his fortune investing in the XFL, while Cliff is riding high on Google — LOL!).

    • Judy_J

      Thanks for the tip about the FB page.  Going to check it out now!

    • Sobaika

      Oooooh nice. Gonna stalk their Facebook page.

    • alicetiara

       That Facebook page is amazing. Whoever did that deserves a promotion.

  • Lilithcat

    I can’t believe I completely forgot this was on.

  • http://profiles.google.com/grandiva1968 e jerry powell

    In my book, anything that keeps Dallas from becoming a movie reboot with any level of J.Lo involvement…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1245406754 Tracey Magyar

    Perhaps they will remake Falcon Crest too. Dallas and Facon Crest have to play back to back!

    Oh, and I’ve had the Dallas theme song in my head for the past week. Help.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=49702581 Susan Bullard Mayer

    I did not watch, but my parents did.  According to Dad, you needed to know about the original to follow along.  I’m just happy to hear they kept the opening just as it was (but with updated images).  Now I’m going to go Youtube that…

  • StillGary

    So, before I commit — is “not PaM” the character sans VP or a new wife? If I tune in, I hope there will be an OIL BARRON’s BALL — those were great and perhaps even worthy of a T-Lounge. Although later seasons of Dallas relied on them pretty heavy and were having two or three a season if I remember correctly.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/KCMF34GDZ6IMCJTZBQEO73C2VI Maureen

      “not Pam” is a new wife called “Annie”.  She and Bobby no doubt get along like crazy because they’re both so nice and a bit drippy.  As in…lots of sentiment.

    • http://twitter.com/drnels Nels P. Highberg

      It’s the Cattle Baron’s Ball, and it was in the second hour of the premiere.

      And, as Maureen already said, Brenda Strong plays Ann. Pam died three or so seasons before the show ended.

  • http://twitter.com/LPsometimes LP

    I watched the reruns of all of the original show with my mom starting when I was in middle school.  My family visited Southfork in the mid-90s on a trip to visit family in Dallas.  My main hope is that they would bring back the ultra-funky 70s version of the theme song.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elizabeth-Aldrich/100000464390154 Elizabeth Aldrich

    It was summer campy fun and I’m in!  And that you’re blogging it…bonus!

  • Corsetmaker

    Yay :) I’m not sure when it’s starting over here but I’ll have to watch it. I loved it at the time, although I didn’t watch the later ones. But I remember the Who Shot J.R. stuff being all over the press (don’t you long for the days when they could actually keep a storyline secret like that – it would all over the internet before it even was shown these days!), Jock’s disappearance, Miss Ellie’s new face for a year or so, the dream series. It really is the benchmark for that particular type of soap.

  • http://twitter.com/Goldielox73 Goldie

    Oh, you guys!  I watched the first ep for old times sake but was totally on the fence about it.  Now that you’re blogging, I’m going to have to watch it (that’s how I discovered Revenge). 

    In high school, I was in band and had to go to the football games every Friday night.  My mom recorded Dallas and Falcon Crest every week.  

  • laura512

    I was so excited about this show, I just may have cranked the theme song and done a wiggly happy dance around my living room during the credits.  Maybe even twice, because DVR.

    Maybe…not sayin’.

  • donnaINseattle

    I am so glad you chose to cover this. I think it tried a bit hard, but is satisfying nonetheless. I told my husband I was going to start thinking of JR as JR and the Caterpillars of Hell, but EYEBROWS OF DELICIOUS EVIL (especially in all caps) is simply delightful. Now if they will only have him start Dastardly Whiplashesque twirling them during moments of Machiavellian machinations. I think that would make me shiver in happiness.

    And I like non-Pam. I like having one just nice person on the show.

  • jennifervney

    Yay! I’m so glad to see you’re recapping this AND that it’s good! Something to look forward to this Mad Men free summer! Thanks T-Lo!

  • judybrowni

    didn’t watch the 1st time, can’t take soap opera clunky dialogue, for one.

    not even tempted.

  • Jessica Goldstein

    I was on the fence about this one, but you’ve convinced me. I need some summer juicy fun, and this looks like a good bet. Looking forward to your recaps VERY much, as this was a promising start. 

  • MikeW_PHX

    This makes me hope for a Dynasty reboot.   Bring back Alexis Carrington and her shoulder pads of doom to have a face off with JR and his “EYEBROWS OF DELICIOUS EVIL”  

  • beebee10

    Great, I need a summer show! So seriously bored with TV right now. You should get paid for bringing the viewers. 

  • BayTampaBay

    Does anyone know why Victoria Principal did not come back for this reboot?

    • http://twitter.com/drnels Nels P. Highberg

      Because Pam died in a house fire before the original series ended.  Can’t come back if your character is dead.

  • http://twitter.com/TMamBo Therese Bohn

    I never watched the original Dallas when it aired (save for the “who shot JR reveal, except it did’n't really matter to me!).  I did watch all the reruns of Dynasty, although, my God, it was soap supreme, lather, and a mouthful of foamy dialoge to make you gag. But I’ve loved Larry Hagman ever since ‘ I Dream of Jeannie’, and gave this one a chance. 
      You know what?   It’s okay! If I can look past Sue-Ellen’s desperate attempt to look 30, and skip the sex unless it’s two characters I care about (I’m sure people are rooting for Christopher and Elena to get back together already) I can actually handle this.  
     It’ll do until Mad Men comes back next year (Mad Men is, of course, a whole different, much more sophisticated animal which tops this any day)  This is a fun Summer lemonade.

  • Funkykatt

    I would watch ‘Three’s Company’ if you guys would write a T&L synopsis of it and I hated that show. 

  • Rebecca Jay

    I laughed aloud with joy when the theme music started Wednesday night.  
    I did so again when I saw you will be recapping.  I am so happy you liked the premiere as much as I did.

  • http://twitter.com/drnels Nels P. Highberg

    Glad to see Ray and Lucy, too, though they made it look like they were a couple, which gets back to that whole incest thing in the original.

  • BuffaloBarbara

    Oh, I’m glad you guess are doing this one!  I enjoyed that premiere a great deal.  I was a Dallas junkie as a child.

  • Angela Worster

    I don’t know about most of you guys, but hearing the theme music made my little 80s child heart swell with happiness :)

  • bellesprit

    Well, isn’t this fun! I didn’t have much hope for the new Dallas; but, of course, I recorded it just in case. Ended up watching and enjoying. I was surprised & delighted to pop in here for fashion posts and see that my favorites bloggers are going to blog Dallas. YES! In this dry season without Mad Men & Revenge, we can still have TLo tv fun with Dallas.

  • michelle shields

    my dvr decided to be noncooperative so didn’t get to watch it. will have to catch the  repeat this weekend. can’t wait to see what you guys come up with on this one!

  • Le_Sigh

    You know what, I rolled my eyes when I saw the plugs for it on the TV, but goddamn, you two just made me SO FREAKING EXCITED for a ridiculous summer soap drama to enjoy.  At the very least, I’ll be enjoying the hell your recaps :-)

  • JaneDC

    Oh God, Dallas was a ritual for my husband and me.  He’s my ex-husband now, but it’s good to know some things live on.

  • MsMajestyk

    Dallas was awesome! I loved making my Barbie dolls reenact scenes. They were such a scheming bunch. I may have to watch this cheese.

  • Gener1c

    I love love love original Dallas, and I adore this show (says a 29yo … for two more weeks).  I’m tickled pink that y’all are going to blog it!!

  • Denny Li

    Have yet to watch this, but it’s a shame Scott Porter from “Hart of Dixie” hadn’t been cast as J.R.’s son. When I first saw him, I was convinced that he was Larry Hagman’s son.

  • Joyce VG

    “Sue Ellen has a face of SCIENCE.”  I love you TLo.  I am old enough to remember Dallas and I am so happy to see Bobby and Sue Ellen and of course J.R.  I was thrilled by the show!

  • Kathleen Gillies

    Holy moley, I knew I could count on you to post big lovelies on this series.  I couldn’t wait for it to start.  Love the new series.  
    Did anyone see the Hollywood Heights which seemed like a cross between Fame and Melrose Place?  Anyway, loved Sue Ellen altho she reminded me of a tall skinny bug… kind of like a praying mantis.  JR was gold.  And the schemes behind the schemes, absolutely everyone has an angle… except NotPam Ann.

  • donkeygospel6

    “A wide-eyed naif with big plans and impressive tits.” I would’ve said, “big plans and even bigger tits” but yes, that pretty much sums up Jesse Metcalfe. I hope T Lo plans to do weekly recaps. Lord knows reading them makes watching these shows even more enjoyable.

  • Dallas_Fan2012

    So love that you blogging about Dallas as I loved the old show and enjoyed the new. The intro music took me back in time to Friday nights when we had watching parties with popcorn and wine.  
    “Sue-Ellen has a face of SCIENCE.”Giggle! I thought it odd that Sue-Ellen looked like the face of science until I watched the roundup on the TNT site. Linda Gray looked so much prettier than on the show. Wonder if she puts that Sue-Ellen face on, it brings out the science?

  • lojoso

    I must admit, I got a bit choked up as the opening credits rolled on the pilot episode. 

  • OneTwoThreeFashion

    Saw the second episiode and it was great!

  • kmc1138

    I am not even the teensiest bit ashamed to admit that I teared up during the opening theme song.  I fixed Pillsbury breadsticks and Cheez Whiz just like my mother and I used to do, and I loved every second of the show.  Especially Lucy and Ray!  And I firmly believe that JR Ewing is the greatest villain in the history of television.

  • http://twitter.com/ReignOfApril April

    Based on Larry Hagman’s eyebrows, I’m assuming we’ll learn at some point during the season that Martin Scorsese is a relative.

  • SF_Gal

    This may have been commented on already…I can’t go through 125+ comments, BUT isn’t Not-Pam also Sue Ellen Mishkie, the candy bar heiress who refuses to wear a bra (and who got married in India in that brills backwards Seinfeld Ep)?

    • Ashley Bilby

      YES! And I think this is the actress who also played Mary Alice on Desperate Housewives, the one who killed herself in the pilot and narrated the show for awhile. I thought the characters name was Annie, though… the Not-Pam references confused me.

      • SF_Gal

         Ah, yes…Desperate Housewives.  She does get around.
        And the Not-Pam reference is in regards to Victoria Principal and her original character, Pam, Bobby’s long suffering wife.  Was Pam the sister of the loser guy that Sue Ellen hooked up with?  I can’t remember his name…

  • Ashley Bilby

    Can I just say when I DVR’d DALLAS I wasn’t too excited about watching it but figured I’d see what all the hype was about since I am still in Mad Men-withdrawl… but I definitely was pleasantly surprised! I mean, it’s no Mad Men but that’s a pretty high/unfair standard to set for a DALLAS remake. Hilariously though, my first thought about 10 minutes into the show was, “Man, I hope TLO decide to blog this show.” Something has to take the place of my Monday and Wednesday morning site visits for Mad Men recaps and Mad Style posts. PLEASE may I cast a vote for DALLAS style posts as well as recpas??? PLEEEEEEEASE!

  • butter nut

    thank you again for introducing me to fun television.  i grew up on Dynasty & almost never watched Dallas.  but i just finished the pilot & damn if it wasn’t a healthy dose of some old timey nighttime soaps! i have been crying for another Dynasty, but i will happily settle for new Dallas!