2012 MTV Movie Awards Red Carpet – Part 3

Posted on June 04, 2012

Home stretch, bitches! You can do it!


Brie Larson

Another coffee here, Miss. And can you tell us what your pie of the day is?


Chris Hemsworth in Hugo Boss

THREE undone buttons. There is no way that’s not douchey. We realize your ThorPecs are massive, Hemsworth, but we’re pretty sure they actually can be contained by the power of cloth.


Ellie Kemper in Dolce&Gabbana

While the accessories are not to our liking, she wins overall.


Eva Amurri Martino in Holmes & Yang 

A bit too classy and demure for the event.


Ezra Miller


This is now officially a rule.

You look like King Dork of Dorksylvania.


Jackson Rathbone

 Hipster car salesman.


Janelle Monáe

Privacy is her middle name, but her first name ain’t Baby.


Jenna Dewan in Lublu

She’s blown right past “sexy secretary” and thrown open the doors on “slutty secretary.”


Johnny Simmons

Catering entrance is in the rear. You’ll have to change in the parking lot.


Julia Jones in Joy Cioci

It’s all right. A bit eye-searing, but there’s nothing wrong with that at an MTV event. Neutral shoes with a neon dress, on the other hand, that’s just stupid.


Keahu Kahuanui

 Not bad. Nothing to write home about. Is that a zebra print hanky?


Kirby Bliss Blanton



Lauren McKnight

 Come back to us when your dress has fully matured, dear.


Leighton Meester in Christian Cota

Dorothy Zbornak: The Sexy Years.


Lucy Hale in Catherine Malandrino

Blanche Devereaux: The Tasteless Years.

Paris Hilton

 It pains us to say this, but she looks pretty fierce.



Not only does he appear to have FOUR undone buttons, thereby snatching the crown from Hemsworth, but also everything he’s wearing is a size too small, with the possible exception of the shoes.


Russell Brand

God, he must be exhausting.


Shailene Woodley in Stella McCartney

Jane Fonda dresses more youthful than this.

[Photo Credit: PR Photos, Getty]

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  • kimmeister

    That vest is giving Chris H a paunch.
    I despise Ellie’s shoes.
    Jenna’s decolletage looks painted on.
    Aaaaaah Lauren’s foot looks like it’s going to snap off.

    • Carolyn J. Hogue

      It is a giant can of beer, right?..FreeLancerJob.notlong.com

  • MK03

    “Nothing loves you.” Well, fuck you too, Mr. Beach Ball Balloon. 

    • Seriously, I’m waiting for a Pokemon to hatch and kick his teeth in.

      • Rand Ortega


      • demidaemon

        As a rabid Pokemon player, I approve!

      • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

        OMG I just laughed outloud.  As a mom who had to watch Pokemon for years, thank you for reminding me what that dumb balloon looked like!  I have no idea who this Ezra kid is, but he’s a real douche.

    •  I just woke my dog up laughing. Thank you for this.

    • Ever since I read of Lainey Gossip’s encounter with this douchecanoe at last year’s TIFF, I have just dismissed him utterly. He looks like the spawn of Atreyu and a hipster from Williamsburg.

      • I just look that up on Lainey and he seems to have the personality of a cheese grater sliding across one’s teeth. These are certainly “textiles”.

  • Hey Ezra (who is so generic, I had to scroll back up to find his name), no props on the show, backstage, or in pre-show interviews. You’re an idiot and I hope I never really know who you are.

    Chris Hemsworth can show me his pecs all he wants. It’s the MTV Movie Awards, if you’ve got it, you can flaunt it. 

    ETA: SHUT UP fringe that is actually part of Russell Brand’s pants. WTF is that? Who designs that and makes those pants?!

    •  Even worse, I think its feathers.

      • Oh dear god in heaven. I scrolled back up and it WAS feathers. Crap on a cracker.

        •  Would that be a Ritz cracker, or a Triscuit?

        •  Would that be a Ritz cracker, or a Triscuit?

    • And… is he wearing a necklace that is also a belt? Ugh… he is a big jar of obnoxious ass.

  • Russell Brand would look less like an asshole if he wore a t-shirt that said “I’m an asshole.”

    • muzan-e

      Russel Brand looks like a man that I would cross the street to avoid. Solely because I do not trust my children near someone with that stare. And also the giant can of Guinness.  It is a giant can of beer, right? Or perhaps a very avant-garde man-pur..  er..  man-clutch?

      • VicksieDo

        It’s an award actually!

      • FunButNutz

        I’m sorry, but he makes me laugh, and he’s a fabulous talk show guest…extremely witty and intelligent (And no its not just because of the English accent)

        • raeb23

          i know, he’s very entertaining on talk shows…but the unkempt hair & crazy eyes do him no favours!

        • NinaBoo

          The piece he wrote about Amy Winehouse after her death made me completely rethink him. He must be exhausting but anyone who puts together thoughts like he did deserves a little more respect from me.

        • Gorengirl

          I love me some Brand!

        • RebeccaKW

           Yes, I love his comedy and he’s very intelligent.  I do just love him.  His clothing just seems like part of a costume, like Nikki Minaj or Gaga.  He HAS to dress this way, and the more he dresses that way, the more we get used to it, and the more whacked out he has to get.

        • RebeccaKW

           Yes, I love his comedy and he’s very intelligent.  I do just love him.  His clothing just seems like part of a costume, like Nikki Minaj or Gaga.  He HAS to dress this way, and the more he dresses that way, the more we get used to it, and the more whacked out he has to get.

  • Make Russel brand go AWAY!!  He scares me. And Ezra Miller?  Who told him balloons were really, really, RC essentials?

  •  “Dorothy Zbornak: The Sexy Years.”

    Okay, instead of just plain “Girls”, HBO should totally do Golden Girls as four younger, sassy women on their own in the world.

    Dorothy Zbornak: The Sexy Years–I would SO watch that show.

    • Brassy Girls!

    • lovelyivy

      I want that so much. MUCH better idea than that Sex and the City: the Wonder Years crap that is in production.

      ETA: That said, it doesn’t take much to be better than that looks, and I think we should let shows that are over just be over.

  • IAmJ

    This has to be one of my favorite TLo posts ever. The captions are deliciously brutal. And this on a day when I needed a laugh very badly. Love.

  • WHY DO THEY ALL LOOK SO SHIT? This is painful. Is there not a single stylist in Hollywood working at the moment? Is there a strike no one told me about? These people are preternaturally gorgeous and privileged and none of them can put on a frock that suits them? Ridiculous. 

    • Little_Olive

      Oh, thank you. Such contempt for aesthetic disgusts me too. 

  • TLo you guys have to be just exhausted by all of that awfulness!  That was bad!

    • mjude

      but still able to make us laugh our assess off. 

  • Does Janelle Monae have another outfit?

  • Good god, the way Paris is standing+ her expression. I sort of like Shailene’s vest although it’s completely off at the bust.

  • Char Crop

    Oh Lord…I must be getting old! I don’t know half of these people…and I read a ton of blogs!
    BTW, uncles, I know you have Ellie Kemper for the win, but I swear I had a DVF wrap dress in this print in the 80’s!

  • ChaCha_70

    Wow, Eva Amurri (aka Susan Sarandon’s daughter) continues to get more and more beautiful.

    • Lina_bee


    • filmcricket

      I know right? I look at her (or, say, Isabella Rossellini) and say to myself, “Yeah, well, I could TOTALLY be that gorgeous if one of my parents were a world-class beauty, so, you know, neener.” Then I harrumph. She really is stunning, that girl.

  • Lina_bee

    It is a sad, sad thing when Paris Hilton counts among the best dressed at an event.

    •  Seriously, what the hell is wrong with her left eye and her back.  It looks like she’s trying to do a new sex tape move on the red carpet with her back all arched like that…and either she has lazy eye from being inbred or she’s super stoned…

      • Lina_bee

        Please don’t be offensive about people with disabilities. Ding Paris all you like, but please leave innocent people born with congenital eye defects out of it.

      • Katie Truax

        It’s the vajazzling that gets me about this dress.  And the stance doesn’t help!

        • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

          Vajazzling – what a wonderful word!  I’m going to use that one!

    • But, she really looks awful.  I have to disagree with TLo.  Like a cocktail waitress/Vegas whore with a heart of gold and really bad extensions.

    • From the neck down, she looks fantastic.

  • Judy_J

    “King Dork of Dorksylvania”….I’m totally stealing that line!

  • minnye

    Ezra may be dorky but he sure is cute.

    • Great cheekbones, but apparently he thinks that gives him license to be Johnny Depp Junior on the RC. Depp had to earn his crazy, dude!

      • Ha! I just posted practically the same thing! (And he played Tilda Swinton’s son (Kevin) in We Need to Talk About Kevin.)

        • Oh no. Is that who he is? I have been wanting to see that movie. I’ll try to wipe this from my brain…

          • The consensus of our watchers was that he was fab in his role, so try not to let his real-life persona take away from the movie (although I am glad I saw the movie before this picture).

          • The consensus of our watchers was that he was fab in his role, so try not to let his real-life persona take away from the movie (although I am glad I saw the movie before this picture).

  • ringthing

    Spot on assessment of Russell Brand. My eyes would roll but they’re too tired.

  • AngelaGreen

    Whoever the hell Janelle Monáe is, she is serving up some Lisa Turtle realness.

    • charlotte

       She does music.

  • MilaXX

    Johnny Simmons makes Channing Tatum look over dressed. Everything else is predicatable.

  • Shoelover1512

    All of Thors buttons should be undone 😀

    • I think it would probably look less douchy that way.

      • AnaRoW

         I’m not getting why it’s douchy. It’s not as if his shirt is open to the waist. I think he looks great, especially compared to every other man who appeared on this red carpet.

  • SpcilK

    Ha! Love the Russell Brand comment, I’m exhausted just looking at him.

  • Lauren McKnight’s dress reminds me of a kombucha mother.

    And I don’t know who Kirby Bliss Blanton is but… Blaw haw haw!

  • “King Dork of Dorksylvania.” Is this trademarked? I’m using this. Let me know where to send the royalty checks.

  • “You look like King Dork of Dorksylvania” is my new insult of choice.
    Thanks for keeping my arsenal well-stocked, TLo!

  • I loves me some Chris Hemsworth…even with a soupcon of unbuttoned douchery. But the gold chain jumps the line for me. Bleh.

  • It looks like there are knives sticking out of Paris’s clutch.  Is that so she can cut a more relevant bitch on the RC?

  • schadenfreudelicious

    Has Russell Brand just finished writing his manifesto in a cabin somewhere cause he appears to have fully embraced his inner Unabomber complete with crazy eyes…..good gawd, exhausting is right, it is also unclear to me how Paris Hilton has yet to slip a disc….

  • unbornfawn

    The fashion police don’t have enough citations to cover everything that is wrong with this group. 

  • VicksieDo

    I have only ever heard of four of these people, so I’ll just comment on them…
    Leighton Meester — meh, with a dash of WhyOHWHY did you dye your hair?
    Paris Hilton — fierce but even more irrelevant than before, and that is saying something.
    Russell Brand — douchebag!
    Shailene Woodley – adorable little suit, much better than anything I’ve seen her in before.

  • areyoukiddingme13

    Ezra Miller can wear whatever he wants, I would never ever dare correct him.  He scared the shit out of me in “We Need to Talk about Kevin”.  

  • JasmineAM

    Good God, I’m 20 and I have no idea who nearly all of these people are.

  • I don’t know… with Romeo and Russel Brand there, Hemsworth looks downright demure. His three undone buttons aren’t so much douchey as cruel. I’d prefer if he showed up shirtless to everything. But then, I’ve given into my complete adoration of him…

  • LesYeuxHiboux

    When one has performed as one-third of a Threesome Tango, can one ever go back from Slutty Secretary to simply Sexy?

    Leighton looks better than she usually does when dressing herself (I can never forget the shiny blue dress with the cutouts. It haunts my nightmares).

    Brie Larson deserves a more interesting outfit. She was the most entertaining part of United States of Tara.

  • ryaddictive

    it’s a good think you gave paris a thumbs up, or she’d have stabbed you with her purse.

  • jilly_d

    I’m giving Ezra Miller a pass just this once, because I just saw “We Need to Talk About Kevin” this weekend and he was so fucking incredible I could barely stand it. Hear that Ezra? One freebie. Now lose the balloon and act like you belong on the RC.

    • Spicytomato1

      I need to see that movie. The book was amazing and from the trailers I’ve seen he looks like he nailed the role, creepy as it was. I’d be inclined to give him a pass, too.

  • drdirection

    Paris Hilton for the win.  Did I really just say that?

  • aimee_parrott

    haha!  You guys are on FIRE today!

  • Nonnah

    What is up with the clown makeup on Leighton Meester? 

  • God this is a whole bunch of fug.  thank you for taking one for the team, T and Lo.

  • Also, Romeo appears to have a farmer’s tan.

  • BazoDee

    Wow-three pages of dreadful. I’m sorry you guys had to endure this.

  • Sophie Collier

    Paris has been dressing spectacularly well recently.  I think she must have hired a stylist.  And Shailene usually looks rather worse than this, so I have to give her props on her suit.  Kinda cute!

    • Spicytomato1

      Yes, I thought this was one of Shailene’s better efforts myself.

  • Spicytomato1

    I don’t know what my blind spot is with C. Hemsworth is but he always seems to look exactly the same to me at every appearance, no matter what he’s wearing.

  • Little_Olive

    Except for the three regulars, WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE.

    To the men: not even Jonny Depp can pull it off. Just don’t try it. Stop it. Go home. 

    To the girls: really? Ugh.  

  • Holding my nose with one hand and typing with the other, but Paris wins this round. That Romeo fella’s jacket gave me the best laugh of the day, but I’m tapping out if there is a part 4 of this mess.

    BTW, I though Erza Miller was so hot in the “Kevin” movie. What happened?

  • JimMcC

    I have hated everything related to that Dolce & Gabbana collection until Ellie Kemper managed to look fabulous in that dress. I don’t know if I should love her for pulling it off or hate her for making me doubt my across the board dismissal of that wave of D&G output.

    • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

      The dress is cute, but those shoes – Oy!  Eye-searingly bad.

  • Katie Truax

    Overall winners for me were Mila and Ellie.  

  • Ezra Miller: an actor most people wouldn’t know, and now don’t want to know.
    It’s a shame because Ezra Miller was the lead opposite the fabulous Tilda Swinton in We Need to Talk About Kevin, and our household thought he did an _amazing_ job, especially for a young actor and a role that needed nuance and subtlety. He’s going for the Johnny Depp-cray-cray too early in his career. Note to Ezra: this is the Johnny Depp order-get known as a good looking, talented actor who takes on offbeat roles. THEN gradually add unexplained accessories to your red carpet look.

  • JMansm

    OK. Through all three of the MTV posts today I have been so angered by the commenters complaining about how people dress for this kind of function. HOWEVER, there is absolutely no way I can defend Johnny Simmons. Granted, that t-shirt and those jeans probably cost more than any t-shirt and jeans I will ever own, the fact is that IT LOOKS LIKE AN OUTFIT I OWN AND WEAR TO THE PUB (or I might even throw a sweater over the t-shirt, because it’s too casual.) WHAT IS GOING THROUGH THAT BOY’S HEAD? Also, I love Brie Larson but even her clutch looks like it could be the notepad for her waitress costume. 

  • I’m sorry, but there is nothing Janelle can do to make me not love her.

  • quiltrx

    Your Leighton Meester comment caused me to make a most unladylike noise.

  • Janelle looks ADORBS. I actually think Julia Jones’s dress is cute, but agreed that silly putty shoes were NOT the way to go.
    Shailene’s outfit is cute, but she’s way too young for that. Also, differently colored pants in hot pink or something might have been a good detail instead of all black.

    All the men need to go home. Even the hipster car salesman.

  • Thanks guys. I really needed the laughs your comments provided. 

  • MzzPants

    Does the props rule apply to La Gaga?

  • frankystein123

    The only one whom I can root for here is Ms. Eva Amurri Martino. Dressing tasteful and classy makes the rest look like a gigantic pile of garbage to be disposed of.

  • Seriously. Who on Earth are these people?

  • Call me Bee

    I thought the outfit Shailene Woodly’s wearing was kinda cute and that I could totally wear that (with a little cami under that vest….) then I remembered.  I’m old, and she’s only, like, 16 or something.  Yes–way too old for her. 

  • guest2visits

      It looks like the police blotter line-up after the party.

    CANNOT get over how gorgeous Hemsworth is .  More stunning in real life then film.

  • Kimmu

    Hemsworth could prance around in a moomoo at this point and I’d find him attractive. I don’t get what is so douchey about what he’s wearing. It’s not like he’s got it slit to the navel.

    Of course, I may be biased. I met him this weekend and he is seriously the most adorable, sweetest man ever. Incredibly charming and good god, he is even more gorgeous in person.

    • judybrowni

      It’s spelled Muumuu.

      Of Hawaiian origin, not cow reference. 

      Originally introduced by uptight missionaries to replace the grass skirt.

  • ccm800

    Does Hilton have scoliosis?  

  • damn, i think paris hilton might have won best dressed at this thing.

  • russell looks downright scary here.  and i don’t scare easily.

  • choco

    Lucy Hale: Up where they walkkk, up where they runnnnn…

  • My goodness, but Janelle is a wee thing, isn’t she?

    Other than that, who in the hell are these people?

  • Give Chris a break. He grew up in the Australian outback wearing a loincloth. I love Shailene whoever she is in that pants suit.

    • I’d have been more than fine if he wanted to show up here in said loincloth. In all seriousness, I’d say he’s one of the victors of those present. He’s put together. Everything seems to fit well enough. He’s not wearing anything particularly ridiculous. He’s got a nice casual look there. Is three undone buttons really a huge crime? Especially compared to everyone else who showed up? He just looks like a cool 20-something year old guy to me.

      Of course, I’m thinking he’d have to go far far out of his way to make himself look bad. Seriously, a third button undone? So what? Romeo’s got four AND he’s trying to Hulk out of his jacket. No, Hemsworth is totally in the plus column.

  • nothing thrilled me.
    and russell brand has charlie manson eyes.  does he stare like that on purpose?

  • “Privacy is her middle name, but her first name ain’t Baby.”

    Oh my gosh, I almost choked when I read this.  So dead on, and why am I not surprised that you boys know the words???

  • Ellie Kemper is displaying swatch 42, from Sofas-R-Us. You can also order it in the matching foot stool. Now did you want piping or matching drapes with that?

  • Lilithcat

    Russell Brand looks like one of those guys of whom the neighbors say, “He was a real loner.  Always kept to himself.  But we never expected he’d do anything like this!”

  • Another event where NO ONE looks any good!

  • MsKitty

    +1,000 points for the Golden Girls references.

  • Dear Jenna Dewan, your shirt makes you look boxy instead of sexy. rethink your choice

  • Dear Jenna Dewan, your shirt makes you look boxy instead of sexy. rethink your choice

  • Cathy S

    Paris Hilton’s been looking really good lately. You go Paris.

  • lordandtaylor

    Romeo…seriously? Was this a joke?
    Russell Brand just needs to go away…far away.
    Why do the guys are look so..umm..stupid.

  • O Tlo, Ive needed these laughs this morning. THANK YOU! *kisses*

  • LuisaNL

    this may be the most tragic red carpet ever.

  • judybrowni

    Jenna Dewan: Slutty Secretary who borrowed a blouse from her 52 DDDD stripper roommate.

  • greyhoundgirl

    Janelle looks like a teeny tiny matador.  Russell Brand looks crazy in a not-good way–like he’s coming down off something and might crash.  Susan Sarandon’s girl looks beautiful but, yeah–wrong event.

  • random_poster

    It really says something when Paris Hilton is the best-dressed of the bunch.

  • JenXer

    Ezra Miller clearly came in costume as Ash Ketchum of Pokemon and the balloon is his pokeball

  • artgirl9

    Romeo- looks like the horse he was riding bolted