Tom Cruise for W Magazine

Posted on May 14, 2012

Tom Cruise, no matter what else one may say about him, has offered the world the longest, most public, and most sustained celebrity mid-life crisis in the history of celebrities.

Tom Cruise covers the latest issue of W magazine with models Edita Vilkeviciute and Abbey Lee Kershaw photographed by Mario Sorrenti and styled by Arianne Philips.

 

And yes, we know it’s to promote his new ’80s rocker movie, but come ON.

Credit for the abs, though. Those are not easy to achieve at his advanced age without some serious commitment. Or by paying a surgeon to cut a tiny slit in your abdomen and shove an ice cube tray up there.

But really, that’s more focus on Tom Cruise’s left nipple (which would be a great name for a band if it wasn’t so likely that he’d sue them into oblivion) than we really felt was warranted.

[Photo Credit: Mario Sorrenti for wmagazine.com]

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  • jjfg

    Well, I don’t believe that’s his face, so I’m not entirely convinced those are his abs, either….

    • http://profiles.google.com/withano Loren S

      I agree.  Girl look at that body.  I Photoshop!

      • Flooby

        It’s a real body alright- just some one else’s body.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/4KLZGI7NMQE2LQDYYSMPFXANW4 Uche

      This is possibly the most unattractive cover,ever. Is that a wig or extensions…or what?

      • makeityourself

        My copy just arrived in the mail today. Yes, it is the most unattractive cover ever.

        In fact, as a 20+-year subscriber, I can say that this is W’s most embarrassing cover too. Plus it is one of the thinnest issues ever. And the Tom Cruise editorial shots inside are just as awful ad the cover. The vibe of this entire shoot is one big cringe.

    • granddelusion

      Absolutely 100% right. None of this looks real, except it’s total silliness. That’s right in Tom’s wheelhouse.

    • RebeccaKW

       Well, I think it’s his face.  Just not his current face.  I’m pretty sure it’s a still from the early 80′s they ‘shopped on there, and drew some eyeliner on.

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

        Not enough eyeliner though. He needed to commit to the look a bit more.

    • joe_tey83

       He doesn’t really look like that in real life photos. And, I have never seen any tattoo being THAT close to the nipple like it’s just outlining it instead of being around it.

    • funkypeanut

      That was my first response: Whose face is that?

    • tylka5

      I think it’s his face, from “all the right moves” 

      • terekirkland

         Nope. Legend.

    • http://twitter.com/pennyeager Penny Eager

       That is absolutely not his face, and I could’ve photoshopped his waist better than that, really. Plus, his chest & abs are lop-sided.

    • DesertDweller79

       This is some high quality hilarious photoshopping.  If they meant this to be funny then they did a great job.

  • beebee10

    Oh god, that is just so wrong. I feel sick. 

    • EveEve

      Ick on a stick.

    • Carla_Charlton

      Embarrassingly grasping and so UNsexy.

  • MilaXX

    Those are truly awful painted on tattoos. The fx artist should be ashamed.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=677547537 John Hodgins

      They truly look fake (speaking from experience with real ones).

      • MilaXX

         If you watched Sy Fy’s reality show Face Off there are fx/makeup artist who can make realistic looking ones. These are those.

        • StellaZafella

          I like Face Off…Probably not a good match for TLo tho, not enough angst or fashion. I hope SyFy doesn’t screw it up the way the networks screwed up PR.

          • MilaXX

            I agree, it probably wouldn’t make for great recapping, but I love seeing the skill set some of these artist have,

  • http://twitter.com/NormDeplume720 Norm Deplume

    I can’t not stare at it!

    • http://twitter.com/NormDeplume720 Norm Deplume

      Also, Tom Cruise should step away from the guyliner, no matter what the movie role.

  • Laurel Lyon

    So, is he standing on a box?

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      LOL!!

    • christinewithanx

      Or those models are 4’3″.

    • SapphoPoet

      Two boxes.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

      I was so grossed out by this cover, but then your comment made me laugh and somehow made it all safe again. 

    • granddelusion

      Well, look how bent those models are, like he would be interested in them.

  • bloggertobenamedlater

    Well, at least they pointed the gun in the right direction. 

    • kcarb1025

      lolol

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=506473106 Mori Clark

    he creeps me right out. 

  • http://twitter.com/msjwatt J.Watt

    That’s not his face, is it? It can’t be. Weird.

  • sherrietee

    Looks like they removed every wrinkle on his face and moved them down to give definition to his abs.

  • egl48

    So weird.

  • wisenhar

    I feel like Karen Walker: “Honey, what is this?  What’s going on?  What’s happening here?”

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      Agreed!!! Freaky-wrong. 

    • http://eclectictsunami.blogspot.com/ Cassie

      Karen Walker forever!

  • Sobaika

    EWWWWWW EW EW EW EW EWWWWW.

    Seriously though.

  • Sara__B

    Ew.

    • makeityourself

      Oh ew. And he’s too out of it to realize that it is ew. Which makes it ewy-gooey.

  • LongTall_Sally

    That is hi-larious!  Normally the laughs on this site come from the wit and humor of T and Lo, but Tom Cruise and whoever else is responsible for this cover have really done their part today.

    • DesertDweller79

      I know!  I can’t stop looking at it and laughing.  It is so ridiculous!  They had to have meant it to be funny, right?  Right??

  • SpcilK

    I don’t love the cover, but I’m not mad at him. He works hard and looks good for any age…You do you TC!

  • sagecreek

    Sorry, guys. No can do.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/DBSIHWVY4ECXGNXAXFXJMSCNIE Katrin

    Johnny Depp called, he wants his eye liner back!

    • MoHub

       I believe that’s guyliner.

  • http://twitter.com/arodenha Alli

    Remember when Tom Cruise was a sex symbol?

    I tried watching Knight and Day when I was traveling last week and couldn’t even finish it in an ironic way – nevermind the fact that him being “sexy” gives me the willies, how did they make him tower over Cameron Diaz in every scene?!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

      As Laurel notes above: standing on a box.

    • sekushinonyanko

      He must be wearing Don Travolta’s Saturday Night Fever shoes or else she is contractually obligated to stand in a small pit in every scene. I actually liked that movie. I would say he was playing full on crazy more than playing sexy; I spent most of the movie thinking his character was a serial killing schizophrenic under the mistaken impression he was a spy.

  • understateddiva

    Was this supposed to be funny?  Probably not as funny as it is…

  • ThaliaMenninger

    Who thinks those are not his abs and they pasted his head onto someone else’s body? Me, me, me, me! In any event, that is one silly ass look for him. Like he’s in a wee Red Hot Chili Peppers tribute act. They call themselves Tiny Peppers and put their junk in anklets instead of tube socks.

    • ccinnc

      He has an odd-looking body, wide and thick (per the latest Mission Impossible), regardless how much he works out.

      And I don’t this is it.

      • cmb92191

        I agree.  Look at his very early movies:  Taps and Endless Love.  In Taps, he is positively chunky.

    • janetjb

      I agree about his body and I think his face is from the last century.

  • HomeOfficeGirl

    Why is he dressed up like Adam Lambert??

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NMLK23QK6C7NMLMVVYA5POXKJY WhiteMage

    good god. the man does not age.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/4KLZGI7NMQE2LQDYYSMPFXANW4 Uche

      Thankfully (for him) Photoshop gets better with age.

  • Call me Bee

    Being a Scientologist, he would never have un-necessary surgery (they have a definate creed against anesthetics of all kinds…) so it’s photo-shopping and not plastic surgery that makes this just plain silly.  Oh Tom–can’t you just grow up? 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=652507064 Chantal Eagles

       Didn’t he get his nose and teeth done?

      • MilaXX

         he wore adult braces for a while to fix his teeth, not sure about the nose

      • Call me Bee

        Not sure about the nose, either.  If he did, he’d need a lot of auditing afterwards….

    • Little_Olive

      I dont want to get into the argument here but I think Scientologysts can proclaim a lot of things, but i) it does not mean TC won’t get special treatment or ii) maybe they proclaim those things just so that they can do it and cover it with a veil of truth. 

      In any case, as a young teenager I loved TC with his crooked nose and normal teeth!  When are they going to realize the so-called imperfections can make a face?

    • berkeleygirl

      You can’t tell me Travolta’s never had work done.  

  • https://twitter.com/#!/rmccarthyjames RMJ12345

    That cover creeps me out. I’ve already seen it and I had to scroll past the cover real quick so I wouldn’t have to look at it.

    • sagecreek

      You are not alone.

    • Spicytomato1

      Me too. If only there were a digital equivalent to turning a painting to face the wall so you don’t have to see it!

  • kikisayshi

    I’m usually a fan of his face, but not here. Disappointed for sure.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bethany-Roullett/100000413803142 Bethany Roullett

    Wow.  That looks so much to me like TC’s face pasted onto another picture entirely that I can’t see it any other way.  Like they just cut a picture of his face out of a 20 year old Cosmo and pasted it onto a picture they found in a 20 year old  Rolling Stone.

  • deathandthestrawberry

    I cannot lie. Back in 1984-85 I had a mega-crush on Tom Cruise. Risky Business/All the Right Moves- era Cruise was the shit. But I nowadays I have an almost visceral distaste for him. This movie looks like fun, but I just can’t with him. (Same with Mission Impossible). Put the fake pecs away, Tommygirl.

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      I KNOW!!!  For me, I just want to remember the volleyball scene in Top Gun and pretend like everything after that didn’t really happen.  Especially this cover.  Especially this cover….

    • Spicytomato1

      I think it was easier to crush on him back then because we didn’t know as much about him as we do now. His personal life kinda takes over and seems to negate any redeeming qualities that may still exist.

      • Call me Bee

        Kinda like all the politicians! 

    • Little_Olive

      So much. The roles he played could have alerted us of his deluded cockiness, though.   

  • TieDye64

    This had me literally laughing out loud. It took me a minute before I could even read the post. I will have to admit the abs are rather impressive, which you can’t help but notice in the movie trailer, so kudos to him for the hard work. But, I can’t help thinking he was terribly miscast.  

    • Rrroza

      That’s how I felt when I heard he was playing Lestat in IWTV. Sheesh.

      • http://www.facebook.com/tuckeramy Amy Tucker

         Oh god that was such a traumatizing thing for me to learn. I went around for, I think, about six months raving to anyone who would listen, “Lestat is six feet tall! Lestat is blonde! Lestat is a bad ass and Tom Cruise is a giant pansy man! Argh!”

        In the end, it wasn’t all that bad, and that movie still brings some good campy vampy fun, but he will NEVER be the Lestat in my mind. NEVER.

  • Jecca2244

    ewww was my first thought. Just because it is him. 

  • SapphoPoet

    I needed a laugh today–thanks!

  • http://aldonsusi.blogspot.com/ Susi R

    ewww……………….. :|

  • Lina_bee

    OMG this is hilarious. Also, I can’t think of ANY 80s rocker who had this look. Not the new wave guys (where are the pink and blond streaks?), not the metal bands (where’s the perm and shoulder length locks?), not the easy listening guys (perm), not anybody. What are the stylists thinking?? Unless they’re going the J. Geils Band or Springsteen route, in which case WTF is that eye makeup? I will say that whoever’s body that is is in great shape.

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

      And they certainly didn’t have the abs. Nuh-uh. Henry Rollins maybe, but clearly this is not the story of Black Flag.

      • Lina_bee

        Oh, Henry Rollins. *memories* But as far as this movie, I can’t even imagine what they’re thinking.

      • http://www.facebook.com/tuckeramy Amy Tucker

         I know! They were all way too busy doing drugs and becoming champion alcoholics to have the time to devote to developing six pack abs. I mean, come ON.

      • http://www.facebook.com/tuckeramy Amy Tucker

         I know! They were all way too busy doing drugs and becoming champion alcoholics to have the time to devote to developing six pack abs. I mean, come ON.

    • Rand Ortega

       Looks to me like they’re going the Glam Rock route instead of the Metal band look. I see more Iggy Pop, Marc Bolan, Sylvain Sylvain or David Johansen  than David Coverdale of Whitesnake, Robert Plant (solo) or Joe Elliot from Def Leppard. But that’s Hollywood for you. They think the rest of us are either too young or stupid or both to think about authenticity. Then they wonder why material like Mad Men or Downton Abbey et al is so popular.

      • Lina_bee

         Yes, exactly! I thought Marc Bolan immediately, even though Bolan had more wave in his hair than this. The eyeliner and desolate expression totally fit. Except for how that was 1974, not even a little bit the 80s. Then there’s Iggy Pop, but Tom would have to drop about 40 pounds to capture Iggy’s look AND most of what Iggy had going in the 80s was “Candy”. The Stooges were gone.

        God, this is breaking my brain.  /o

        • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

          Iggy would never stand on a box.

      • Corsetmaker

        It’s definitely an American metal/glam look rather than a UK one. Too much gloss for any sons of bricklayers from Birmingham LOL!

    • Corsetmaker

      The look is more Tommy Lee, Motley Crue area but I just can’t get my head round Cruise in that sort of context. He is so far from being rock and roll in any sense of the phrase!

      • Lina_bee

         Oh, but even Tommy Lee had wild bits sticking up and hairsprayed in place. At least from what I remember. But yes, Tom Cruise is the last person in the world I’d think of casting as an 80s rocker. Or even an aging 80s rocker looking back on his salad days.

        • Corsetmaker

          Oh yeah, he’s too shiny to play any rocker but the overall style is more in that ballpark. I just can’t imagine Cruise even staying up late, let along listening to anything that goes up to eleven :D

  • KQ67

    I am mostly squicked out by the (non-) expression on his face. Was that really the best picture? He grosses me out but even I have to admit that normally he has an attractive face.

  • Nelliebelle1197

    I can’t stand Tom Cruise. The only movie of his I have ever seen was the Outsiders. I barely noticed him amid the better members of the cast. I never understood his appeal and the stills of him I have seen from this film are so repulsive, I shudder…

  • Synnamin

    ew. just…. ew. 

  • mommyca

    his face is so Photoshopped that he looks worse than in Interview with a Vampire…. oh wait… is he a vampire??? 

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    OH GOD EATING BREAKFAST AND NOW I CAN’T UNSEE THE NIPPLE

    ETA: Worth it. Hilarious.

  • piecesofconfetti

    Haha I just can’t

  • MoHub

    He looks like a waxwork.

  • Rand Ortega

    Never liked T.C. He always embodied American mediocrity to me. Not really handsome, not really compelling, not at all talented as an actor. Just decent enough not to intimidate or offend.  He murdered “Interview With A Vampire” (along w/ Brad Pitt who, @ the time couldn’t act his way out of a wet paper douche bag even by being 1)– in 1994 those roles belonged to Rupert Everett & David Bowie– Period! & Jerry Mcguire is the most overrated piece of crap in the history of movies (Cuba Gooding won the Oscar for being yet another stereotype. Nothing more). This sadly obvious role is simply just another exercise in Cruise flexing his ever waning box office clout to prove he’s still relevant & hot while pretending not to know everyone in Hollywood not on his payroll is laughing behind his back.

    • altalinda

      I like him in Tropic Thunder.

  • Catiline

    I was reading another gossip site that pointed out he looks eerily like Kristen Stewart in this picture.  Now I cannot unsee. 

  • MoHub

    The only movie I can watch Tom Cruise in is Tropic Thunder,, mostly because he’s rendered almost completely unrecognizable in it.

    • MilaXX

       they even ruined that for me when they did that bit on the MTV awards

  • Leonardo Alves

    Tom Lambert… What a drag!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=517890557 Willis Cramer Kliefoth

    Why are his eyes and hair purple? and, OH MY GOD, help me stop staring at his nipple!

  • quiltrx

    If I wasn’t sure there were several hours of Photoshop involved, I would say how incredible his face looks.

    I do, however, believe that is his suprasternal notch, and that looks pretty sexy.  So I’ll just look there.

  • VicksieDo

    Laughing hysterically here!  

  • mjude

    W.T.F.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_HREPOWNBVUBRIVPQCF3ST2IKDM Euphory

    Man, he actually used to be very pretty. 

  • Jessi03

    I first saw this pictures elsewhere and I died laughing.  Now it just looks sad.

  • Beardslee

    He looks like he should be in a hair band.  And why did they decide to make a man look like a boy?  Where did his natural face go?

  • marilyn

    Fake tattoos + hot fashion models =desperation.  His wife should be insulted.

    • AthenaJ

      I don’t think Scientology will allow her to feel insulted.

  • PastryGoddess

    Apparently Mariah Carey’s retoucher was allowed out from his padded pink fluffy cage to work on this cover.

  • miagain

    oh for godsakes… go away Cruise, go AWAY!!!

  • RebeccaKW

    That is Tom Cruise’s face from Risky Business photshopped in there.  His abs are pretty fab.

  • Stephanie Leach

    I am so distracted by the abnormally long neck on the model on the right… I guess she wasn’t willing to put her face that close to his guyliner, so they stretched her neck?

  • Susan Crawford

    Not one single thing about Cruise looks real. Airbrushed-on abs; painted-on tattoos; added-on hair; and I don’t know WHOSE face that is, but it isn’t his, that’s for sure. I understand mid-life crises – and I bought the convertible to prove it. But for Cruise to think anybody could possibly buy into this incarnation is sort of tragic.

    I know he’s a hard worker, but honey he’ll have to work triple-time to make anyone who remembers his couch-jumping, batshit Scientology-fueled ranting and crazy-eyes believe he is a bad-boy rocker in his prime.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=816120314 Chason Dailey

    Adam Lambert sure seems to be aging nicely

  • StellaZafella

    Is that Willam and Sharon Needles?, Could be Willam, Sharon’s on tour.

    • nancylee61

      Sharon Needles is on tour with Chris March as her designer!! :)

  • Lilithcat

    Tom Cruise, no matter what else one may say about him, has offered the world the longest, most public, and most sustained celebrity mid-life crisis in the history of celebrities.

    I’m not sure that’s a good thing.  No, wait.  I am sure that it is not a good thing.  I have no interest in him or his crises, mid-life or otherwise.

  • http://tigergray.blogspot.com/ Tiger Gray

    He looks ridiculous and maybe a little dead.

    • Rand Ortega

       This is truly a genius quote.

  • Eva_baby

    What a terrible cover.  I am not a major Cruise fan but I enjoy some of his work and I think his current, more lived in face that he has now is much more attractive than his younger pre-Jerry Maguire face.

  • lordandtaylor

    Another nominee for Photoshop Pix of the year. The head looks pasted onto another body.

    TLO: Let’s save the photos and run a col at the end of the year. Everyone votes for the Photoshop master! I nominate this photo…his abs do not look like that in the movie previews. Another good nominee is the Desparate Housewives cover from the current Entertainment Weekly.

  • AnaRoW

    I really don’t get why people have such a hard time with him. Yeah he’s got issues but I can’t see that he’s done anything to deserve the level of animosity directed at him. He apologized for his comments re: Brooke Shields and Matt Lauer.  Who cares if he jumped on a couch.  He’s an excitable person. Anyone who knows anything about him knows that.

    Anyway this picture is hilarious. 

    • greyhoundgirl

      I think it might have something to do with the way people perceive that he treats his wife–a little infantile, a little misogynist, sort of weird.

      • Call me Bee

        And in realty, we have no idea how he actually treats his wife, do we?  We just see pics and RC interviews, which certainly don’t tell a whole story except the one we make up in our own heads. 

        • greyhoundgirl

          True–no matter how creepy I feel looking at and listening to him–no one knows what goes on in their relationship but them and those close to them.

    • roadtrip1000

      To each his own, but I think when he scolded Matt Lauer he revealed his arrogance, ignorance, and emotional immaturity. Of course later he had to apologize in order to preserve his public image. But I doubt his fundamental views have changed because he was just parroting the beliefs of Scientology and he remains a Scientologist.

  • http://twitter.com/graceishuman Grace

    Gross.

  • Lola67

    I can’t stop laughing! Looks like a great SNL skit. Can anyone really take him seriously?

  • Char Crop

    Last week on the Suri’s Burn Book blog…the following was posted…

    It’s taken me a few days to really come to terms with what I am about to show you.

    After three panic attacks and one emergency session
    with my therapist, I am finally ready to admit that the following
    photograph exists in the universe, that it does not reflect on me, and
    that I now understand where my entire eyeliner collection disappeared
    to. (It’s okay, I definitely don’t want it back now.)

    I was laughing hysterically then, as I am now! What a great way to start the week!

    • Sartorial_She

       Loved that Burn Book post…Brilliant site.

  • Beth G

    Man…. I wish I hadn’t JUST eaten.

  • Little_Olive

    Bwahahaha

    Thanks, Tommy. Just what my monday needed

  • BeeBeauNYC

    He’s uninteresting on so many levels. 

  • altalinda

    Thanks for the good laugh.

  • GorgeousThings

    He skeeves me out to no end. I’m just waiting for him to have his Mel-Gibson-like meltdown. We all know it’s coming.

  • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

    Kittens, as obnoxious as Tom Cruise is, can we please stop bashing his religion? Denigrating someone because of their religious beliefs is not cool. 

    • roadtrip1000

      And denigrating others because of ones religious beliefs isn’t cool either. Scientology has some very uncool beliefs about homosexuals and many other people they deem imperfect.

  • Anathema_Device

    Oh good lord. We’re going to be seeing a lot of this nonsense in the coming months, aren’t we?

  • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

    He gives me the heeby jeebies in normal dress – no way can I handle this mess.  Ewwww.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Karen-Stephens-Bassett/1503492602 Karen Stephens Bassett

    What a complete douchebag.  Eyeliner and nail polish?  Is this “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”?

    • cmb92191

      No– Tim Curry did it just so much better.  

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Karen-Stephens-Bassett/1503492602 Karen Stephens Bassett

        True that!!

    • Anathema_Device

       Well, in his defense (can’t believe I just typed that), he’s dressed like his character in Rock of Ages.

  • greyhoundgirl

    His face is so very photoshopped.

  • http://twitter.com/londonpenguin Teresa M.

    He’s such a pretty girl.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=49702581 Susan Bullard Mayer

    THAT is the most ridiculous cover.  EVER.

  • Judy_J

    Oh, yuck.

  • http://twitter.com/watchinginkdry Dr Skylaser

    Wow, that’s a lotta eyeliner.  And I was just assuming the abs were photoshop-aided. . .

  • rainwood1

    Tom Cruise has NEVER done it for me.  Photoshop, guyliner, and tats aren’t going to change that.  Plus, the gun pointing to his crotch would be a turnoff all on its own.  

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

       Correction: fake tats. And bad ones at that. :-)

  • dschubba

    You can’t convince me that this image didn’t begin as Jared Leto.

    • Little_Olive

      You mean, from the same pool of ew factor? 

  • http://profiles.google.com/marteani Barbara Guttman

    I don’t know who that is, or what dimension it’s from, but it’s not Tom Cruise.  I am not convinced it’s human either.  The women might be real (except for iguana neck on the right…), but they are going to be sorely disappointed when they unwrap that package I find out the Photoshop doesn’t extend below the belt.  It’s just going to be stock cardboard legs.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sierra-Delta/100003182924700 Sierra Delta

    Um…  shouldn’t he at least look interested in what the two ladies presumably have in mind for him?

    • http://twitter.com/ennisamy Amy Ennis

      Not if he’s a rock god. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_CIPKMOXHLA5KG34HMH55OXHCVM Angel H.

    pfft…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

  • Aurumgirl

    Vile.

  • judybrowni

    His face has been photo shopped to the point that it resembles nothing so much as a pencil eraser.

    • http://twitter.com/Kamilaahh Kamil

      Not to mention his torso. If those are his actual abs (hell, his actual anything) I’ll eat the box that Photoshop comes in. 

      Lovely dead expression in his eyes, as well. Come on, Tom, you’re supposed to be an actor. Would it have killed you to act like you’re having a good time there? 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BUKL3CV3Y66UWR7BWYJMPSDRR4 Annie

    he’s been photoshopped so he doesn’t look like himself

    • holdmewhileimnaked

      he has been photoshopped so he looks like he’s twenty years younger than he is whereas all the 80s rockers look, from all kinds of physical self-absuse, pun intended, twenty years older.

  • Amy Ellinger

    Ew.

  • nancylee61

    OK, I am 50, so maybe I’m an old fart, but I don’t like that front model with her hand headed southward in his pants. Just totally tacky, unnecessary and vomit inducing. His nipple is also totally gross. Who told him this was a good idea???

  • turtleemily

    I remember seeing a way different torso when he was shirtless in MI:GP. And didn’t he not let Katie Holmes do a sex scene in some movie a couple years back, but he can have models hanging all over him?

  • formerlyAnon

    Well, it’s the first thoroughly amused chuckle I’ve gotten from Tom Cruise in, well, ever.

    If he weren’t Tom Cruise, I could feel a smidge sorry for him given that someday years from now he’s going to be asked to autograph that cover and be forced to pretend  that he’s not deeply embarrassed. 

    • Pennymac

      Hahaha. Yes! I actually feel embarrased for his crazy ass already.

  • Pennymac

    Oh please, he’s just gross. Not because of the tattoos, or the longish hair, or the slutty models, but because he’s just, well, gross.

  • Zippypie

    EWWWWWWWW. 

    That’s all I have to say.

  • holdmewhileimnaked

    he looks more ridiculous than any 80s rocker, even then but particularly now–when almost all of them are burnt to tiny little rocks & shards of their once selves. whoever wrote this movie knows not a damned thing about or, in fact, any 80s rockers. or if he does [cos i imagine it's a he?] he has taken the fantasyland train into oblivion.

    • Corsetmaker

      He doesn’t even look like he’s ever stayed up past 10 o’clock!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1303837450 Lauren Dorsee Dillon

    What a joke. I despise him and regret my long ago “Cocktail”-era crush.

  • http://twitter.com/ennisamy Amy Ennis

    It’s the Vampire Lestat as a rock star. Love it. 

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    TELL ME HE DOES NOT HAVE A GUN TATTOO POINTED AT HIS PENIS.  I now must go have a martini and lie down in the dark. 

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NMLK23QK6C7NMLMVVYA5POXKJY WhiteMage

       i think it’s fake for rock of ages…

    • http://twitter.com/yankeefoxtrot Alex McGeagh

      I shall join you and clutch my pearls. Which I never do. This is just…ew.

      Bombay and Dolin, please. Ugh. 

    • FloridaLlamaLover

      Worse than one — two!

  • Toto Maya

    Wow, this looks like something you’d find on DeviantArt done by some 14 year old who just learned how to use Photoshop.

  • http://blue-again.myopenid.com/ blue

    So odd. It really does look like his face was photoshopped crookedly onto that body.

    • aeg66

      My thought exactly!!! & ewww…

  • annrr

    Two words. not. hot.

  • http://twitter.com/LOfficielEbony TheVeryLivingEND

    :-(

  • http://twitter.com/pennyeager Penny Eager

    HA HA HA! (Plus, ew.)

  • nycfan

    What the hevk did they do to his face? I never would have known who hat was. And ewwww.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_63FW2Y5BWUARL7PJGWK54TUDGE Carrieanno

    Whatever.  I shuddered mightily at seeing the word “fall.”

  • http://twitter.com/neeBarbero Debby Griffiths

    Sorry, not buying it.  Not even a little bit.  He’s become a farce.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/76MOACGITT5AHEG24N6E7RZWDA Kay

    Nothing sillier than fake ink. And. The. Nipple.  Ick.  I am ashamed I ever enjoyed Cocktail.  I will blame it on the soundtrack.

  • http://twitter.com/lareveuse lareveuse

    I wonder where they found the mini models? They have to top out at 5’2″ in order to not look like Amazons next to him. Also? Gross. He looks like he’d give off the scent of formaldehyde. Not sexy, not interesting, not going to make any money, that one. Ew.

    • Char Crop

       He’s standing on a platform! LOL! The man has no shame!

  • LilyPad

    Ew

  • JaneDC

    I’m speechless, and not in a good way. This guy has no shame, and not in a good way either.

  • Geoff Dankert

    Wow, Adam Lambert has really lost weight.

  • RonHermione42

    There aren’t better ways to promote an 80′s movie? I mean…what the hell??

  • kim i

    is he cross-eyed?

  • http://twitter.com/grooxcore Marie Ee

    Dead in the eyes! Did they bring in his Madame Tussaud’s model instead??

  • siriuslover

    over the past 10 years, he has succeeded in creeping me out to such an extent that I don’t ever want to see one of his movies again. This cover shoot doesn’t help.

  • BradWatson

    Jesus, Mary & Rebecca DeMornay… you’d think it was Tommy who’d been charged with groping the masseur!  You can certainly see which horse the Scientologists are backing. Just in case.

    • alyce1213

      laughing so hard . . .

  • bellafigura1

    Gawd, imagine the wife passing a newsstand and seeing that?  It’s so … what I wouldn’t want my husband-in-his-50s to be doing.  Smaller paychecks, people!  Dignity matters!

  • Presumptuous Insect

    Creepy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    This pretty much guarantees I’m over what little bit of appeal he had left to me.  I miss the 1980s-1990s Tom.  

  • bluefish

    This is SO not a good look for Tom Cruise.  Very surprised that he went there.

  • Cathy S

    What the hell did they do to his face?

  • guest2visits

    I thought it was humorous. It had all the features of the typical glamazon fashion cover.  Photo-shop, blowing wind, ridiculous
    poses, faux or contrived edgy-ness.   He seems to keep a steady career, it’s his personal life (the religion/cult thing) that
    makes it all a bit weird.   

  • alyce1213

    Irrational hate.  Well, maybe not so irrational after all.

  • lilazander

    As annoying as he and his family entourage is in media, I like him as an actor; he can really transform himself into a character he’s playing.

  • friedacarmen

    He has nauseated me since Risky Bidnis and always will.  And are those his real abs? They look painted on.

  • http://ultimatevariety.blogspot.com/ Thombeau

    What a joke.

  • TomBord

    Giiiiirlfriend looks right at home in drag…….and isnt’ it magical! 

  • PantherontheRunway

    his face looks lifeless…..