Pairs Division: Lutz and Vinson

Posted on May 07, 2012

Matchy accessories make our eyes twitch but matchy couples make our eyes bleed.

 

Kellan Lutz and his girlfriend Sharni Vinson attend the Unbridled Eve Gala in Louisville, Kentucky.

So we are not inclined to be kind here, what with our currently bleeding eyeballs making it difficult to type and all.

SHE: Looks fine, actually. It’s a chic little Halstonesque throwback of a dress. We don’t particularly love the color on her, though; an issue made worse by choosing that hat to give that salmony pink even more attention. It’s all a bit too matchy to itself. Some contrast was called for here. Also, she needs to be introduced to the wonderful world of combs. Score: 5/10, mostly because of that horrible hair.

HE: Is gay.

Okay, no. We shouldn’t say that. Everything here is really cute – if maybe a little too cute, i.e., pink striped tie – and that newsboy cap looks heavy and doesn’t really go with the rest of the outfit, but overall the look is very dapper. It’s also very “look at my body” tight to a rather ridiculous extent. Nothing on him fits him correctly. In fact, these pieces aren’t just poorly fitted, they’re at least a size too small for him. He is also wearing way too much bronzer and we’re pretty sure he’s sporting lip gloss. Kellan, there’s a point where caring about how you look tips over into obsessing about it and that’s exactly when your hotness levels deflate rapidly. Think about that. Score: 5/10.

Combined Score: 5/10. Told you we weren’t inclined to be kind.

[Photo Credit: Michael Loccisano/Getty Images]

    • howdoilook

      I just LOL’ed, literally, at work. HE: is gay. Love you guys.

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      Is he having to wear his pants too low because they don’t fit!!??!!  That’s old man stuff right there.  Popeye goes to the Derby?? 
      O to the U to the T!!!  He looks douchy and fat.  I’m sure he’s neither.
      She’s cute.

      • EditKitten

        I thought she was really cute, too — it’s a shame she fucked it all up with THAT HAIR. Seriously, that’s the only real problem I had with her.

        • RebeccaKW

           Yes, same here.  I don’t even mind the matchy at an event like the Derby.  But was she in a windstorm before riding a motorcycle to this event?

          • HomeOfficeGirl

            I had to give a pass to the hair just because it IS an outdoor event and she probably walked out the door looking fabulous and then 10 mins after she got there, her hair looked like that – well, I can just relate to that. 

            • fallen_ikon

              Derby day here was very windy, so it’s no surprise her hair looks like crud. Though she really could have taken a moment to run a brush through it..

          • jw_ny

             looks more like she drove the motorcycle thru a car wash, before the event.  ;)

        • Little_Olive

          For me it’s not the matchy, it’s more the beachy. I would have changed the nautical-rope straps and belt. 

          • AmandaCathleen

             I completely agree. Between the rope straps & belt and the hat, her look feels too beachy and informal to me. (The hair doesn’t help in that regard, either.)

          • mountainFashionista

             She’s totally channeling Elle McPherson here… (except that she’s so super-duper skinny, no one would have ever called her The Body).

            • Adriana_Paula

              Or Aniston.

            • Jennifer Coleman

              Pardon my french, but bitch needs a burger. And a comb. Otherwise she’s cute but too nautical for this event. 
              Him, I just cannot deal with. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/AntoniaDonnelly Antonia O’Connor Donnelly

      It’s just gross.  That is all.

    • tween00

      That suit is comically tight on him. Is he auditioning for future Hulk movies?? Also, bad shoes.

      • RebeccaKW

         Also, the hair.  It seems to be a weird strawberry blond color…did he get fake tan in his hair?  Or does it just look different b/c of the bronzer?

      • http://www.GiftedCollector.com Nancy Abrams

        From now on, he should be referred to as Kellan Yutz.

        She obviously has no fashion sense or she wouldn’t have such a big smile standing next to that ridiculosity.

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      Kellan, when your suit is too small (which this one is) shoving your hands – and wallet, cellphone, and lipgloss – in the pockets only makes it look worse. 

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000123527335 Mary Jenkins Gomez

        That totally does look like lip gloss in his right pocket!

    • Spicytomato1

      They look like they dressed up for Halloween as Derby attendees rather than actual Derby attendees. Cute elements but costume-y in that setting. 

    • Scarlet39

      You were very generous, particularly with him!  That suit on him is horrible!  The fit alone brings his score to a fat zero!

    • http://www.thirteen.org/downton-abbey/category/the-downton-dish/ Gotham Tomato

      Did he bring Chairy and Conky the Robot with him?

      –GothamTomato

      • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

        Love.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1084733830 Kate Andrews

      NBC kept showing them in the stands with these two blond women, and I was like, “Am I supposed to know these people?” Thanks for clarifying, TLo.

    • Rebecca Johnson

      I was at a Derby party this weekend, and one woman had sewn her own (fabulous) dress and made her husband a matching bow tie. Whimsical but not too much. These people? Too much. 

    • Laurie Bergman

      Her dress is nearly the same color as her skin and he is about to Incredible Hulk himself right out of that suit jacket.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LI35AZLWSZEYRDZ4PUCBHUCZUI Jonathan

      Does anyone think that button on the jacket managed to stay secured the whole night? It seems like it is really straining. The jacket is short tight if it were a bit shinier it would have Heidi Klum’s name all over it 

      • lordandtaylor

        [spita take]
        HA HA…best comment! Our Heidi likes it short and tight and shiny! Thanks for the laugh on a rainy day.

    • out for a walk

      I think the person who gets the best score here is Yum’s logo designer! Pretty hilarious on a RC backdrop. And yeah, he looks painful.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      I refuse to claim him as one of ours.  No effing way. Not in THAT outfit.

      • MilaXX

         Please take him. The het world is already over run with douche bags.

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

           Trust me on this. The homo world is also replete with those of the douchey sensibility.  But, for you, my dear Mila, I will take him under my wing, show him how to select clothes, teach him some manners, and class,  and return him to the world, a better, more tasteful person.

          • MilaXX

             why thank you!

            • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

               It will be an difficult task, but for you, m’dear, anything.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EDI2DLE7DE3YPW2ONIHBWOVHMA ecallaw

      I don’t get what his appeal is.   He does absolutely nothing for me.

    • Pants_are_a_must

      Gay or not, he is a visual “erk”.

    • MzzPants

      You gave him a 5?!?  No.  I just can’t with that.  He’s a hot mess.  Looks like a muscular PeeWee Herman in that suit.  Pants are too tight, too long, and worn too low.  Jacket’s too tight and too short.  The cap is just embarrassing.  Please tell me you meant ’2′ or ’3′, but missed the key.

      And while she is cute, that hair looks like it’s starting it’s journey toward white girl dread locks.

    • lordandtaylor

      OMG! He looks like one of those kids that has not made the transition from the boy’s department to men’s. Or maybe he had a growth splurt. Or maybe it shrunk it the wash.

      Quick fix…unbutton the sport coat…and, stand a bit more to the side…a little more…a little more…good! out of the picture.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_B53PQYXSJR4YJBV3J6BWYSICRQ Jamie

        growth spurt was my thought too

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1344922354 Eric Scheirer Stott

         OMG- I just realized…..Jethro Bodine in his citified clothes!

        • alyce1213

          Thank you for that observation. You nailed it.

    • jw_ny

      I give him an ounce of credit for at least trying to have fun with fashion…but that’s about all the nice I can muster up.  Each of them should be slapped for allowing the other to go out of the house looking like they do.  

    • PeaceBang

      I think you were actually QUITE kind. Lutz the Putz. They both look idiotic.

    • Judy_J

      He looks absolutely ridiculous.  5/10 is exceedingly generous.  I give him a .02.  She looks OK, I suppose, but that floppy hat looks like something she picked up in the bargain bin at Big Lots.  Dress is kinda cute.  Hair is awful.  3/10 for her.

    • PastryGoddess

      She looks great if you look at her from the neck down.  She could also stand to lose about 200 pounds or so

    • Lina_bee

      She…looks fine. I don’t like white strings on the dress, but it’s a quibble. He looks clownish — and that’s only because of the fit and color scheme. If he’d gotten a 20s-ish Derby costume THAT FIT, i.e. is one or two sizes larger than this, in a color palette less obscenely matchy to hers, then it would have been FUN and CUTE and potentially good for getting him cast in some interesting films.  But apparently he thinks he’s about 30 pounds less muscular than he is.

    • drdirection

      There is rarely a picture of Lutz that does not make me want to vomit

    • http://www.gregmce.com Greg McE

      Short of the Incredible Hulk, Lutz is the ultimate definition of “exploding out of your clothes” in these photos. Yikes.

    • Eclectic Mayhem

      I’m afraid this is a terribly British reference but he looks like Billy Bunter to me.

      • MilaXX

        they made a joke about that on Graham Norton this week, please explain

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=567835404 Patti Lever

           http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Bunter

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1344922354 Eric Scheirer Stott

           Billy Bunter is the main character in a series of british novels set at a public school. Bunter eats- constantly & frequently bursts his clothes.

        • Eclectic Mayhem

          Hey MilaXX, sorry it took me a wee while to get back here.  Eric has basically covered it, Billy Bunter is a generously proportioned school boy.  The combination of Mr Lutz’s too tight blazer and the cap reminded me of the public (ie private in the US) schoolboy uniform.  You’ve probably already done a wee Google image search but if not – lots of stuff turns up.  I’d post a link but then this message would get held up.

          Bunter is just part of the UK’s national consciousness I think!

    • 3rdsister

      But look!  He’s thinking about taking his hand out of his pocket — doesn’t that count for something??

      • alyce1213

        not in this case

    • HK4Seven

      I saw the first picture and said “ew” and I am in my office with people around.  It was a gut reaction.  She’s not so terrible but that suit???  COME ON!

    • SapphoPoet

      His suit just makes me laugh. 

    • DCSheehan

      Dude, that’s not your suit. Or tie. Or hat.

    • Rand Ortega

      Don’t like none of it.
      His get up is too tight. The hat is stupid & the stripe array is seizure inducing.
      She looks like a lollipop you buy just before exiting Disneyland.

    • JenniferSzczublewski

      OMG! I was laughing at just the tiny thumbnail I saw on your link from Facebook. I was hoping the full-size picture revealed something better, but even enlarged it still looks like Little Lord Fauntleroy has outgrown his play clothes.

    • TieDye64

      She gets a 5 and he barely earns a 3. They both look idiotic, but he looks particularly ridiculous and he’s about to explode out of that thing. I do appreciate the 2nd photo where YUM appears to be a (matching) thought bubble…hahaaaa!

    • mjude

      they remind me of candy. 

    • prettybigkitty

      You forgot to mention his perfectly shaped and plucked brows.  

    • Ms_Flyover

      He looks like he was shopping in the boys department, both in size and style.  

      Actually, he just looks ridiculous.  1/10.  The point is just generosity, since I can’t find a single thing from head to toe I think is good about this costume.

      • alyce1213

        I couldn’t even justify a 1; I gave him a solid 0.

    • MilaXX

      I think they both look a bit of a mess. They are dressed for the wrong event.
      She looks like she’s going to the beach and need to comb those ratty extensions.
      He looks like a slap of meat in a suit too small. I don’t mind couples matching/coordinating if done well. He should have stopped at the tie, because the different shades of pink in his tie and hankerchief combined with her varying shades of salmon are making my eyes bleed. The newsboy hat/seersucker suit combo is better suited for and Easter Day parade. A straw fedora would have been better for the Derby. Lastly his fake tan is giving Kors a run for the money on the orange scale of tanning.
      Honestly I would give wither of them more than a 4/10

      • formerlyAnon

        Thank-you. I hesitate to remark on color because I sometimes see it wrong, but the difference between the pink in the tie and the pocket square was bugging me, as well. She might step away, but the tie and hanky are together till the jacket comes off.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1355527007 Rain Jezek

      I think the matching of the clothes would have been a little more cute if their skin tone wasn’t the same matching orange.

    • dschubba

      Terrible fit. He looks like he’s about three seconds into a Hulk transition.

    • librarygrrl64

      I think you were generous with that 5.

    • http://twitter.com/riosramblings Michael Rios

      He looks like a southern dandy who never managed to come out. I think her hair is unkempt, but otherwise I think she looks quite lovely actually.

    • rawrgrowlrawr

      She looks like she is going to the beach and I do not think she is the type to pull off the big hat. A 5/10 is fair though.

      He…no. -5/10. He looks ridiculous. 

    • judith traherne

      He’s going for the pouter pigeon Gibson Girl wasp-waist effect.

      5/10 is TOO kind. Please rethink this.

    • hughman

      I get the distinct impression that she dressed him, laying out all the clothes on the bed like it’s the first day at school, and he’s too much of a dolt to say anything. CLOTHES ARE WHAT GIRLS DO. 

    • alyce1213

      Surely you jest. His outfit is a joke, no?
      5/10 ???
      I give him 0/10. NOTHING works.  Ridiculous

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=567835404 Patti Lever

      The second and third pic has YUM in a voice bubble placed right around his head…made me giggle. He looks silly.

    • spooki C

      She looks fine but he looks like a hot mess. That too-short jacket is distracting, but not distracting enough to make me ignore that barber pole around his neck.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1344922354 Eric Scheirer Stott

      If someone can confirm that he dressed like that as a joke I’ll feel better.

    • JasmineAM

      Her skin looks so bad in that color. It makes her look sunburned.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1401197785 Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

      You were far kinder than they deserved.

    • Pennymac

      Is he dressed as little Ronny Howard for a remake of the Music Man?  This is hideous!!

    • Dan_In_NYC

      He looks terrible – hate it all.  The shoes aren’t fun enough, the suit is too fun (for him) and definitely too small for him.  That’s a suit for a slimmer man than he.  The only saving grace is that the baby blues are definitely popping!

    • http://twitter.com/MandySCG MandyJane

      She looks pretty cute, imo. He looks like he could knock you down with his douche fumes. 

    • Roman000

      Too much bronzer, For both of them!

    • nannypoo

      She needs to be introduced to the wonderful world of food. The dress looks like it’s still on the hanger.

    • nannypoo

      She needs to be introduced to the wonderful world of food. The dress looks like it’s still on the hanger.

    • poggi

      He is trying way too hard. In the second picture he looks about 7–the too small suit, the cap, the expression, the  speech bubble with “Yum.”  Really, you should slack your way to a 5.  To try this hard and get a 5 warrants some kind of automatic deduction (-2 points). 

      She also deserves an automatic deduction for not vetoing this or using some non-lethal projectile net or rubber bullets or mace to stop him from leaving the house in this get-up (-2 for her too).  I would say a 3/10 average for the two of them.

    • minnye

      She looks way cuter than any of the women in the other Kentucky Derby posts. He looks silly, but if a guy ever has a hankering to dress like a dandy, the Derby is the time, right?

    • glennethph

      Oh he and that girl from 90210 broke up?

    • glennethph

      Oh he and that girl from 90210 broke up?

    • sleepycat

      He is pulling her a bit too tight that it defiantly starts questioning whether or not he is gay or not. I would give him a three because of the fit but he is still hot regardless and I know where he can find a change of clothes or at least strip down to be comfortable. Lol I am bad. :P

    • Beth G

      That jacket is because ridiculous. And just… the hair on her… and just… I kinda feel like he’s gonna break out in some song from a musical involving soda jerks.

      • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

        i’m hearing and seeing andy kaufman lip sinking to the mighty mouse song- “HEAR i come to save the D_A_A_Y”…..

    • marilyn

      I am confused about what is proper attire for the Kentucky Derby.  She looks like she is at a resort and on her way to the cabana.  His clothes are way to small and he looks kind of, shall we say, unintelligent.  Who let them in?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1253053236 Belle Burnett

      You were too kind, they both look ugly. Why are his pants pulling like that but not bulging? 
      Actually, I’ve always had a problem with him. His body is just too yoked in the wrong places, he’s on the fine line between muscular and pudgy, and now with the over bronzering, manicured brows and lip gloss… he’s just ridiculous. Don’t bring down the gays by even joking that he’s one. Because only a 13 year old gay boy would think he looks good like this.

      • boweryboy

        Only a 13 year old gay boy would look good like this.

        Or Alan Cummings….

        • formerlyAnon

          Ah, but Alan Cummings’ ensemble would FIT him. Makes all the difference.

    • phrenk

      When a female celebrity doesn’t wear makeup for a planned public appearance, you say the occasion called for a little effort (/makeup).  But a male celebrity wears lip gloss and he’s obsessing over how he looks?

      • boweryboy

        No tea, no shade (too much RPDR)… the world is full of double standards – get used to it.

      • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

         Yes. Welcome to planet earth, the 21st Century, and the western hemisphere.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/OPEVUFEA6OUVJV3WO7ZV7MMUEU v

      You are far more kind than I…

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      ugh.  that white rope tie at her waist?  and he looks likes a cartoon character, like might mouse with his chest busting out all over.

      • alyce1213

        A cartoon absoltely, especially with Yum in a speech bubble coming out of his head.

    • siriuslover

      His clothes may be cute, but not on him. He looks like an idiot. Look at the way those pockets are bursting. That’s when you know you need a new pair of slacks–the pockets don’t lie flat. And he cannot carry the newsboy look. What it all looks like to me is that they had somewhere to go, he didn’t have clothes, so he found some ragamuffin newsboy on the corner giving headlines about the depression and he gave him a $1 for his clothes. They look that bad.

      ETA: I think giving him a 5 is being kind. More like a 2.

    • bellafigura1

      Whoo Haa, as blind Al Pacino says.  Whooooo Haaaaaa.  So freaking horrible there’s nothing to call out.  Just.  Ugh.  The fact that they look drunk and so self-satisfied just makes it worse.  Oh, and that they’re rich. Ick. Makes me wanna revolution.

    • funkypeanut

      He looks like he’s trying to wear his old prep school uniform. I bet he didn’t sit down all day long.

    • JenXer

      He is possibly getting ready to sing “Shapoopie” in community theatre, it is the only reason to wear that outfit

      • formerlyAnon

        AND he’s a last minute replacement, kitted out in someone else’s costume.

    • Monabel

      You WERE kind.

    • Sophie Collier

      He looks RIDICULOUS!  Pee Wee Herman’s suits fit better than that.

    • lucasuk82

      I like his shirt and tie, and love her hat. Her clutch is cute.  Everything else, including their grooming products, should be cleansed with fire.  WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?  I know their faces because of TLo and Celebitchy, but I’ve never seem them do anything but stand on red carpets.  I guess I’m out of touch.

    • boweryboy

      The most offensive thing about this photo is Lutz’s jacket.  It’s way too small, like he mugged a child on his way to the step and repeat.

      I get it Kellan - you’re young, rich and have a hot bod (with a meathead on top) but you can also afford to buy a jacket that fits.

      Sheesh

    • http://twitter.com/TMamBo Therese Bohn

       Has she been ironed flat? Not her hair, her body! I think she’d disappear if she turned sideways!

    • http://twitter.com/ABeautifulCult iansee

      his pants is really really tight, and sorry for being so evil, but look at his crotch, you can literally see his….

      • http://twitter.com/ennisamy Amy Ennis

        i had to go back and look…

        • leftcoastpickle

          me too! oh god, me too…

    • crash1212

      I think you were very kind. I would’ve given them a 2 – TOPS. This is just all kinds of bad from the tip of her awful hat (atop those ratty uncombed extensions) to the tips of his squared off toes (below the too tight pants). Just god awful all the way around. Blech. 

    • Susan Crawford

      “Introducing Kellan Lutz, this year’s winner of the ‘Raid PeeWee Herman’s Closet’ contest.”

    • formerlyAnon

      If his extremely ill-fiting ensemble and mismatched cap are 5/10, she gets at LEAST 7/10 from me. 6/10 overall. 

    • http://howtofaint.tumblr.com/ How to Faint

      What in the cheap hell is she wearing? And him! He looks like he mugged her little brother. 5/10 is being overly generous with these cretins. 

    • KathKo

      I think you are being way too kind with those two : pants are distorded, jacket is so pulled that it looks like it wants to tear itself away from him… I mean, whose clothes are those ? his small little brother’s ?
      silly, really…

    • Larkin21

      I think people should be given a break for things like the Derby. Rules are different and people mess them up. But his “look at my body” super small jacket would be enough for me to rate him lower than you guys did. That is bugging the crap out of me. Which is strange, because I usually do like to look at his body.

    • http://twitter.com/LianaBrooks Liana Brooks

      I like his hat, but from the neck down everything falls apart. 

    • TheOriginalLulu

      Oh hell no.

    • marywv

      That’s a thing at the derby. Matchy couples. It’s a big thing in the south. 

    • guest2visits

      Pretty; but she almost looks like she’s headed for the beach, and not the track due to the hair and the super casual draw-string
      dress. He might be handsome but that is one goofy outfit.

    • Snarky_Amber

      5/10 IS being kind, TLo.

    • joe_tey83

      HE:
      is wearing clothes meant for a host of a children’s variety show – and screaming “Yum!” in a pink speech bubble.

    • CatherineRhodes

      You’re giving him a 5? That is way too generous. He looks ridiculous bordering on pathetic.

    • golspie

      He looks like an idiot man-child from Tobacco Road.

    • donkeygospel6

      The best thing about Kellan dressing badly is that I can fantasize about helping him take off his clothes. Without her. 

    • quiltrx

      I haven’t had internet since Sunday, so I’m just catching up.  When I saw his picture elsewhere, I knew you two were going to laugh and point and scream GAY!

    • MilaXX

      thank you. Very helpful and makes me giggle to look at him now cause all I see is Billy

    • Diego!

      hahahaha I’m gonna quote you guys by saying he is doing a Mariah Carey look! His suit is ‘Mimi tight’ and also he is wearing the same lip color Mariah looks during summertime. He definetely is gay. Well said. LOL :p

    • butter nut

      this is like one of those color vision tests.

    • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

      The only thing he isn’t busting out of is that hat. Dress like a grown man!!!