Pairs Division: Biel and Timberlake

Posted on May 08, 2012

The minute we saw these two last night, we knew they were getting the Pairs Division slot.

Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake attend the Met Gala 2012 in NYC. Jessical Biel wore Prada dress, shoes and clutch paired with Lorraine Schwartz earrings. Justin Timberlake wore a Tom Ford tuxedo.

The power of fashion, darlings. It can take two fairly blandly good-looking people and make them into head-turners. We thought they both looked chic as hell. This is fairly easy to break down.

HE: Is wearing a tux that fits him beautifully. Special attention must be paid to whoever did his hair and whichever products they used to get it to look so silky and smooth. Also: perfectly shaped brows and glowing skin. Somebody had himself a spa day. Score: 9/10. Should have gotten a shave along with the rest of the treatments.

SHE: Is wearing a dress that is gorgeous, eye-catching, and unique, which is hard to pull off with this crowd. Unfortunately, she has a mismatched bag and pair of earrings because someone got it in their head that everything had to be green. Except for the shoes, which appear to be a pale pink and that makes no sense to us at all. Also, her hair’s a bit too much. But still, that dress is stunning. Score: 7.75/10. Hair and accessories are important things, kittens. Remember that.

Combined Score: 8.375/10. Precision, bitches.


[Photo Credit: Getty]

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  • Sobaika Mirza

    Bridesmaid shoes. Work of the devil.

  • EEKstl

    That dress is stunning but could someone please have pressed the flippin’ hem????

    • shirab

      That was the first thing I thought, too! And then I thought, get your hair out of your eyes, missy. Other than that, love the dress.

    • Katie Armstrong

      Yes! that hem ruins the look for me (well, and her hair). It looks like she wanted it a different length, but couldn’t actually alter it, so she taped it up or something. 

      • My mom once “hemmed” my dad’s pants with duct tape and achieved a similar effect. 🙂
        But even if it was taped, it should have been ironed!

        • ballerinawithagun

          My first thought was tape also!

        • Rand Ortega

           Mr. Ortega did that for me Sunday. & ironed them.

      • kimmeister

        The place where it is “hemmed” isn’t particularly flattering.

      • Sweetpea176

        I’m guessing ironing the tacked hem is as verboten as actually hemming a borrowed dress?

        • Perhaps, and one wonders why she would “hem” it to such a weird length anyway. She’s tallish I think, so it’s not like the runway version would swallow her the way they do some of the teenier starlets. It’s the Met Ball so wearing a long gown is not inappropriate.

    •  Huh, I hadn;t even noticed that, but you’re so right!  It looks like it was folded under to get to that length.

    • miscorrections

       Hem, bangs, and butt-puff are a tragedy.

      • makeityourself

        I agree wholeheartedly.  She looks so awful I’m surprised he approved of it.  From the side she looks like Mrs. Hwiggins.

        Those bangs are a disaster.  She has one of the most beautiful faces in the world and by covering her brows all of her personality is immediately removed.

      • Fairly certain that is the actual size of her ass. And yes, brunette bangs like that always look sweaty to me like. Regardless of how fresh and clean the hair, it will appear as if she endured the dripping treachery of a bikram yoga class and went out with shampooing. 

        • No, the dress is pouffing out in back.

    • sockandaphone

      i honestly cant get over that effed up hem. its making me cringe.

      • Spicytomato1

        It ruined the whole look for me, too. That and the hair.

        • sockandaphone

          my mom does tailoring and thanks to her Im a huge snob about hems. Like these dresses are worth thousands of dollars and no one could bother to hem up that in like 5 mins? jfc.

        •  Ditto!!  She shared the sketches, and they were for a floor-length gown, so it’s definitely a fold-and-pin job.

    • The hem looks like it’s turned up and held with tape or a safety pin.

    • I think she got a last minute hem-job.  They got the length right, but sheesh, press it!

  • introspective

     I hate dyed to match prom shoes.

    especially when they dont match anything.

  • judith traherne

    Odd hem. Scotch tape?

    • introspective

       definitely a wonky hem going on. that plus the shoes and the bangs could have brought down her score at least 1 1/2 pts.

  • Her ass is slammin’. Too bad it didn’t pull attention away from the hideous bangs.

  • I want to give her credit and say she wanted pink for Schiaparelli, but it’s the wrong pink, so… 

  • Nicole Chubb

    Is it just me, or does she kinda look like Jessica Pare in the first pic? Somehow, her bangs are shaping her face like hers (at least for me)

    • leftcoastpickle

      Yes, I totally thought of JP. But Jessica Pare is a thousand times prettier. JB always looks like a robot to me.

  • alyce1213

    I think they both look gorgeous for “two fairly blandly good-looking people,” which to begin with, they ain’t.

  • Carla_Charlton

    Wow, I really disagree about her!  That dress would have hung so much better if it had been floor length.  In fact, in the photos, it looks like someone took it up at the last minute and forgot to press the new hem.  I also don’t think it fits her very well in the bottom half.  I do agree about the bangs — they overwhelm her face.

    •  I agree. That length is hideous and cankle-inducing. Floor length would have been stunning. Totally agree with the hair, too; JBiels is not my favorite, but I think she’s much prettier without the fringe.

  • Little_Olive

    hmmm, the bangs a tad shorter, the cleavage pulled a smidge closer, hair a wee bit fuller, hem just better finished (either rounded or pressed), 1 inch shorter, shoes just different, a touch of jewelry… 

    I like it but it’s a bunch of couldabin perfects for me.  

  • Kayceed

    I love the idea of pink and green, but it’s not working here. The thing that is distracting me the most, however, is that hem. I know sometimes designers like a more rounded, rather than sharply pressed, hem, but this looks a bit like it was simply tacked up for the occasion. Also, I think the strong bang can take more eye makeup. Anyhoo, nice-looking couple.

  • susu11

    I hate her shoes but I like the dress, though I think it would have been more elegant if it had a longer hem/train.  Just noticing also-did someone hastily pin that hem? Because it looks folded up underneath a bit.

  • Britt McCombs

    Is whatever that is even a length now? Looks like a full-length dress was hastily – VERY HASTILY –  shortened to show off her … ankles? Boring shoes? eh.

  • butterflysunita

    To think Justin Timberlake is the one raising the score!  That’s the best I’ve ever seen him look.  

    • Cathy S

       Yes. He looks fantastic. Her bangs are terrible and I’m not feeling the dress at all.

  • SpcilK

    Her body is working that dress. I don’t like the hair at all and the bag and shoes are so bad that they hurt my feelings. I don’t really car that much about him.

    • TAGinMO

       I guffawed at “so bad that they hurt my feelings” and am officially appropriating that as my own elsewhere on the internet. 🙂

      • SpcilK

        They did and do… Happy to share fellow blogger!

      • Call me Bee

        I’d like to do the same! 

  • PastryGoddess

    Her ass looks great in that dress.  That hair has got to go.  This is the best it’s looked since she started rocking that heavy banged look.  Go out on a high note.

    Those shoes are evil evil things and should be burned.  

  • MilaXX

    He – looked pretty good. I’d give him a 9/10
    She -I agree with all the critiques. I can forgive the bag, but the shoes really throw this look off and that hair is a really bad move. Also the hem at times looked odd, as if it had been taken up but not pressed flat. 7.5/10 BTW did anyone who watched the live stream see her slip a ring flash in?
    My score 8.25/10

  • The view from the back on that dress is not flattering at all. Its ballooning out over her butt. I think its pretty terrible all around. it also makes her hips look wider from the front. He looks great she looks terrible. 

  • Ew, really? She’d be lucky to get a 5 from me, what with those shoes and bangs and makeup. Love that dress, but maybe not for the Met Ball.

    His tailor deserves a raise.

  • I think Jessica benefited from wearing TLo’s favorite, Prada.  That dress is an awful length, no two ways about it.  And that hair and makeup!  6.5 at the most for her;  7.75 together.

  • I think her dress would have been perfect as a floor length gown (and by looking at that shitty hem, it looks like it was tacked up in the limo).  Hate the damn bangs, they hide her face, plus they look like they come from the back of her head.  Justin looks dapper, but needs to shave. 

  • He’s divine. Her hair is in my eyes.

  • librarygrrl64

    7.75??? But what is going on with that HEM? It looks like someone tacked it up with Scotch tape in the limo. And no dress should do that to a woman’s ass. It’s scroll-down AND turn-around FUG.

  • Gorgeous dress, nice ass, hideous bangs!

  • What is up with that hem?  Why did you all not even mention that?  There should be points off for that hem.

  • Jo Koster

    Could they not have ironed the hem of her dress? Seriously….

  • IAmJ

    No problem with his score, but 7.75 is a little too much for Jess here. The hair is atrocious, as is the DIY hem, and the shoes just make me sad.
    I did love “Precision, bitches.”

  • I’m just waiting for Beyonce, the Queen Creole mother, to get her WERQQQQQ!!! I’m not here for these irrelevant folks. Where is the QUEEN???????

  • TheOriginalLulu

    Oooh, girl, bangs are not your friend. Especially not heavy bangs with the wispy sides. Who the hell did that to you? Your mother? After about five martinis? I see plenty of headbands in her immediate future. Also, her bridesmaid shoes and clutch should be burned.
    Love the dress and he looks great.

  • leftcoastpickle

    I love the dress to death, and I can forgive the green bag because I LURVE that little bag. Her hair. Ugh. She’s not one of my favourites, but her best accessory is Justin Timberlake. I can’t believe how hot he is, every time I see him I have to re-consider him, and he is always hot.

  • pattyw

    I don’t get her insistence on the Chrissie Hynde bangs.

  • I want to cut her bangs!!

  • raininmai

    The first thing I thought when I saw the dress, is “that color is not doing anything for her”, though the dress itself is very pretty. Then I noticed the unpressed hem, and the long bangs that obscure her face. I saw the poor fit of the bodice and of her backside too. And the shoes, which do nothing for the dress at all. Justin looks great but there are so many things wrong with her look, I’d give her a 5 at best.

  • Are silly putty SATIN shoes becoming the trend now?  Carey Mulligan had them too, only more peach instead of pink toned. UGH, they are hideous.
    Love the dress, though.

  • BazoDee

    Oh what the what with her hem??? 

  • What’s wrong with her hem?

  • lilibetp

    It always looks to me like she’s sticking out her backside.

  • RebeccaKW

    I hate her hairstyle with a fire of a thousand suns.  It is terribly unflattering. The dress is chic, although the hem is that awkward length.  And the shoes should die.

    He looks good.

  • they both look amazing. 
    love the shoes with the dress. 
    can’t really see the earrings, which i’m guessing is a good thing?

  • Hate the hair- love the dress minus the hem.

  • Susan Crawford

    Not loving Jessica’s bangs. Also, it looks as if the hemline was tacked up at the last minute – it looks folded-over and bulky. Was there NO time for a real tailor to come in?

    Basically, this is the most “meh” couple in Hollywood. To me, there is just zero charisma going on.

  • Lina_bee

    Her: I love the dress from the front, except for the gaffer’s tape hem. If it’s borrowed, I get not wanting to ruin the hemline, and yet it looks tacky and unfinished as is. Also, her hair is terrible. I can only assume it’s for a role where she’s meant to have ridiculous hair. The side view looks like she’s throwing her back out. Very odd.
    He: is wearing a very good suit. He’s still completely annoying, though.

  • Her bangs are AWFUL. Pretty dress though.

  • TAGinMO

    I’d give him a 10, her a 5.

    The myriad problems with her dress and overall look are well-documented elsewhere in this thread so I won’t re-catalogue them here.

    As for JT, perfection. The tux is standard but fits him PERFECTLY. So many boystars with nice bodies wear their suits too tight; this one has just enough room for him to breath. And I don’t deduct a points for the stubble as TLo did, because I think JT looks far better with it than without it. His facial bone structure is on the low end of the celebrity bell curve, and the whiskers give it squarer edges and better definition. Clean-shaven, he tends to look fetal.

  • Laurie Bergman

    That dress is springtime fresh; only the funky hem mars it for me.  That, and the fact that bowl-banged Jessica Biel is wearing it.  JT looks good and he knows it.  Nothing wrong with that.

  • Merridith Kristoffersen

    No.  Her dress is too long.  And that “hem” situation adds to the no, as does her hair and shoes.  I’m thinking 5 outta 10 here.

  • What was with all the satin shoes last night?  Yuck.

  • ccm800

    Dull and Douchey out on the town. I think her dress is too short for a gala event. 

    • Rebecca Jay

      Dull and Douchey hah.  Perfect!

  • noelster_sf

    pink satin shoes sound good in theory, but the are a bit too payless DTM. i have to say that a sandal would have worked so much better, even in a light pink. justin looks stunning of course.  

  • TieDye64

    With that hair all I can think of is Chrissie Hynde. 

    Him 9/10 
    Her 6/10

  • Judy_J

    I agree that Jessica is wearing a gorgeous dress, but it appears from the photo that the hem was turned up at the last minute and not pressed.  Also, that side view of her makes her look like she’s got a “shelf-butt”.

  • mom2ab

    Just can’t get over the awkward fit of the dress.  The way it bunches on her butt and the weird in between hemline that looks like it was “hemmed” with duct tape is making me very unhappy.

  • calimon

    First thing I looked for was the ring. First thing I saw was the conehead. 

  • Hair, no. Shoes, no. The length of the dress is throwing me off. A little shorter probably would have been better. He is gorgeous as usual.

  • That hem is distracting. It completely ruins the good features of the dress. 

    • sagecreek

      No kidding, was it hemmed with duct tape?

      • formerlyAnon

         I am ashamed to know this, but: unless that’s a VERY heavy fabric, it’s probably not literally duct tape. Duct tape is relatively heavy and you would be able to see where it was pulling on the skirt.

        • Pennymac

          There is a light hem tape available, I’m sure. Even though I know these dresses are promotional for the houses that design them, nothing says “loaner” to me more than an unpressed hem. It’s like they want to keep it uncreased for the next borrower.

  • Call me Bee

    He?  yes. 
    She?  I totally disagree.  The dress is an interesting shape and is of beautiful fabric.  She is actually pulling off the odd length here, thanks to the shoes.  But, while I know one likes to emphazize one’s behind, the dress pucker and cups the fanny oddly here.  Also–the hem needs to be pressed, as if she was stitching it up in the limo on the way to the event.  The whole thing needs to be tailored better. 
    I do not like the bangs on her, either.  Makes her head all smushed-looking.  I give her maybe a 5.5/10.

  • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

    Really dislike the bangs on her, and the lack of eye makeup.  She’s so pretty – but the bangs are just covering up her best feature.  Him – shave, for bob’s sake!

  • miagain

    but but but… sputter sputter, what about her bum???  That side shot is alarming…

  • formerlyAnon

    I will agree with both scores, with one caveat: I have less of an issue with bag, earrings, & hair than do you. (With ya on the shoes, though if the bag weren’t mismatched green – almost but not right – I could make an argument for them).

    What I’d take at least an entire point off for is the unpressed hem. SO WRONG. (I honestly don’t think this is OCD of me.)  If Prada lent the dress and didn’t want any change in hem to mark the fabric, then idiots work there and they shouldn’t have lent it out.  If she *could* have had the hem pressed and didn’t, her people are idiots.

    It’s the whole “so close but not quite” phenomenon. On a dress that worked less well for her I might not care so much about the hem.

  • Qitkat

    Justin gets as close to 10 as any man could. But I don’t know how to score Jessica. That dress is seriously unflattering on her, oddly fit with the bunchy hem and poufy bum, probably the wrong color for her too. That length of bang drives me itchy, but I think the pink shoes and green purse worked.

    That last photo is very sweet of the two of them.

  • Is is just me, or does the dress not fit her through the hips?  I can’t even talk about that hem…

  • kimmeister

    I nearly gasped to see that Justin got the fit of everything perfectly.

  • guest2visits

    I like the shoes and the clutch. But the rest not so much. Where’d she go ? I didn’t even know who it was except she’s with
    Timberlake.  Jessica’s hair looks great in many ways, even as a blonde. But this is hiding so much of her.   My real problem is with
    the dress. She looks a little washed out and the shape is weird; and she has a great figure! I do like the embroidery or gems
    or whatever it is on the fabric.  He looks ok, maybe it’s the side stripes on the suit pants that make it feel a little dated to me.

  • marilyn

    I am sure that dress is very expensive, but it looks homemade.  As if someone got drapery material and got creative.  Too bad.

  • amian3

    The pink shoes are insanely wonderful.

  • Zippypie

    Her hem isn’t hemmed but tacked up and not pressed.  Tacky.  And that hair – WTH?

    He looks standard for him.

  • she seems to have so much work done to her face.. 

  • Trisha26

    That profile photo of Jessica is horrible, the dress looks very large on her, and my pet peeve – dresses that were obviously hemmed in the limo on the way over without being pressed. Fie.

  • JustJenn142

    Love that dress….hate all the fricking bridesmaid shoes. Hell if I had any idea that these were ever going to come back in style, I would never have thrown the half dozen away that I was forced to buy.  Sorry…they are yuck.  Dress awesome though.

  •  One thing my sister drilled into me as I was coming out of my fashion shell: DON’T MIX YOUR GREENS!!! This is perfect evidence as, individually, each shade is pretty. Together? No.

  • nannypoo

    I think she looks pretty sloppy here. Her skirt is too long, the hem is not pressed, and the fit of the dress when she turns sideways is comical. Her bangs are too long and too heavy, and the rest of her hair is thin and stringy. He looks great. Bringing sexy back, one might say. But would it kill him to shave?

  • v

    Her hem is not pressed! I just can’t… Points off for that. He, however looks great.

  • Anathema_Device

    That’s a gorgeous dress and it looks great on her. that side view though! I’d deduct points for the hair, the hem, and the apparent fit in the butt.

    I’m with you on his scores.

  • Orange Girl

    Agreed with you all.  The hem is an embarrassment.

  • girliecue

    Girl, those are not your bangs.

  • I admire Justin.  Never thought him cute, but he’s really talented.  This is the best I’ve seen him look.  Jessica is a stunning woman with a beautiful figure.  I’m not really feeling the dress but, she’s wearing it well.  I HATE HER HAIR AND SHOES!!!.  Sad because she could have really knocked it out of the park.

    • i appreciate his talent too, and imagine he must be a smart and interesting man.  did you see his performance at the grammys a few years back when he played a grand piano and sang “dead and gone” with T.I.?  best ever.  you can find it on you tube.

      • No, I’ll need to check it out.

    • Roman000

      JT is totally talented and the hate he gets is totally unwarranted.

      I just wish he’d get back to making music, it’s been FAR TOO LONG.

  • that hem is driving me nuts. She took a pretty dress and did everything she could to ruin it- weird hair, random shoes, badly matched accessories…ugh. 

  • granddelusion

    Love the dress, but it seems to be too tight. It does something very odd to her rear end. He ooks l fabulous, especially when he remembers to take his hand out of is pocket. Agree about the shave.

  • he looks mighty handsome.  agreed about the shave, i am way tired of the scruffy-chinned look.  will it ever go away?
    she also looks lovely.  i adore her dress, green is my color, and i like the purse, finding it just enough of a different green to be interesting.  the dress certainly flatters her, her waist looks miniscule.

    can one of you new yorkers answer my ignorant question?  is this gala for the metropolitan opera or the metropolitan museum?

    • nyll18

      metropolitan museum of art. I think it might have something to do with the costume institute located in the museum (basically a set of galleries to display clothes), but I’m not 100% sure on that.

      • tsid2012

        You are correct.  When in NYC, the galleries are always a must see.

  • and in that shot where she is walking away what the hell is that dress doing to her ass?

    • tsid2012

      I know, right?  It seriously looks like she had a #2 accident….. not attractive. At all…. But the dress is stunning, just has some fit issues on her.

  • and in that shot where she is walking away what the hell is that dress doing to her ass?

  • bitterk

    You are too kind.  That hem!  That length!  Those shoes!  That hair!   No, no, no, no!  

  • m0r0

    Her dress is spectacular! 

  • Lilithcat

    I love the dress,except for the fact that they forgot to press the hem when they shortened it.

  • Sophie Collier

    I can get behind a green-and-pink combo, but that’s now how you do it.  Her butt looks amazing, though.

  • quiltrx

    Can’t stand her–she’s way too Zira, and made of wood at that.  The dress is beautiful, but the hem would be severely criticized if made in an hour on PR, much less here.  And there are odd things going on in her butt region.

    Him…I just can’t.

  • TomBord

    Dress is going back to the showroom hem!

  • PrunellaV

    Those bangs look like the ones I cut myself in 9th grade, when I was trying to look like Toni Tenille.

  • bellafigura1

    I saw another shot of the shoes elsewhere and they appeared dustier pink (which is meant to echo the lip). I think it’s an inspired color choice for this exquisite (though, yeah, weirdly hemmed) dress.  The only other shoe color I could accept would be a matte silver?  I think she made the right choice on the clutch color. I actually think the accessorizing here is brilliant and takes this look from a triple to out-of-the-park (yes, sports metaphor, ftw).

    OTOH, are these two people happy together?  I can’t get a read on them. 

  • Cousin_Rose

    She should have been an In or Out and I say Out. His suit is OK but the scruffy face and Tux don’t mix.

  • MissAnnieRN

    I love the dress, but what is it with the hem?  Could they not do it up properly because it’s a borrowed gown and someone else will need to be able to wear it?  Orange would have gone great with this, but then, I’m a sucker for that combo.  THOSE BANGS.  Ugh.  They have got to go.  And she needs more make-up.  I feel her, because she’s apparently not much of a girlie girl, athletic and all (LIKE ME) and I don’t know the meaning of “a lot of make up”.”  To me that is wearing mascara, lip gloss, blush, AND eye shadow.  This is apparently her definition as well.  If she is going to hide her eyes under those heavy bangs, she needs more eye make up and lips that pop because her face is lost.

  • tsid2012

    She looks very pretty here but WTF is up with that dress?  The ehm looks like it was scotch taped up and her ass looks like, well, she did a #2.  It is a possibly stunning dress but it has some fit issues.  he still bores me…..

  • GTrain

    I’m not sure how I feel about that dress. Hate the bangs

  • ChaquitaPhilly

    You LIKE that dress??? I know I’m late with this but still. You LIKE that dress???

  • They were trying to match her eyes with all that green … hazel, maybe? Her hair always looks like a wig even when it’s not. He looks like he won the prize!

  • mozzer0906

    Shiny satin baby pink pumps are always an out.  ALWAYS.