We’re on round 2 (and cup 3) and there’s no end in sight, bitches! Please keep your hands on the safety bar!
We get the distinct impression this is a dress that photographs badly. It just kinda sits there.
Allison Williams in Ralph Lauren
Surprisingly standard NY socialite look. Which maybe isn’t surprising at all given her background but we would have thought the hit cable show would afford her some leeway and opportunities to go a little more glamorous than this.
It’s not particularly flattering, but that’s the funny thing about NY socialites; they like their standard uniform, whether it works for them or not.
Brooke Shields in J. Mendel
It’s an interesting dress and possibly even a beautiful one, but wearing a one-strap and then arranging your hair mermaid style over the opposite shoulder kinda defeats the whole point, y’know?
Cate Blanchett in Alexander McQueen
Bow down, fuckers.
Elizabeth Banks in Mary Katrantzou
She looks like a supervillain, which is kind of awesome.
We did, however, burst out laughing at the sight of her – and that’s not good.
Heidi Klum in Escada
Enh. How expected.
This almost looks chic but those pants seriously stumpify her.
January Jones in Atelier Versace
That necklace is all wrong for the dress, but we salute you, JaJo. There was a time when we thought you’d never have the capability to pull off a dress like this but you are GUNNING EVERYONE DOWN WITH YOUR FIERCENESS.
Julianne Hough in Carolina Herrera
The hoedown hair is three thousand kinds of awful, but the dress is doing its job. Standard pretty.
Kristen Bell in Tommy Hilfiger
Pretty, but we think she needed an up ‘do and some bolder jewelry.
Kristen Wiig in Stella McCartney
Cute, if a little Betty Draper-ish. This is a step forward for her in a lot of ways so we don’t want to be too critical and scare her back into her safe space, but we think killer sandals would have bumped up the look some.
Lea Michele in Diane von Furstenberg
Leslie Bibb in Zac Posen
Also a somewhat standard NY socialite look, but she’s working the shit out of it.
Lily Collins in Valentino
Way too “Baby Carrie fell down the well again.”
Mary-Kate Olsen in The Row
MARY-KATE IS KILLING YOU! WITH THE POWER OF HER EYES!
That is some freaky-ass sci-fi voodoo priestess shit right there.
Nina Dobrev in Donna Karan Atelier
A small squadron of refugee children was deployed to ensure that her skirt stayed like that all night.
Rashida Jones in Tory Burch
It’s very her in a lot of ways. That sounds like pretty faint praise (if it even counts as praise at all), but we actually like this dress and it’s in her wheelhouse. We wish it had more standard straps because the simpler and more standard a dress is shaped, the better she does with it. Pretty print, though.
Rihanna in Tom Ford
The dress is okay, but we didn’t love her hair or face.
Rosario Dawson in Calvin Klein
We’ll give her credit for coming closer than anyone else we’ve ever seen, but no one has ever really pulled off a leather gown.
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in Burberry
Victoria Justice in McQ Alexander McQueen
It’s always a bad idea to show up at a gala looking like a centerpiece.
Also, purple suede ankle straps. Those are always a bad idea too.
[Photo Credit: Getty]