Jennifer Lopez in Maria Lucia Hohan

Posted on May 15, 2012

Satin-y blush dresses! The work of SATAN!

Jennifer Lopez attends the premiere of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” in Los Angeles in a Maria Lucia Hohan gown paired with Jacqueline Nerguizian Fine Jewelry. 

Y’know… even though we hate the color and think the top fits her oddly and also that it needed to have a good 8 inches chopped off the hem, we almost dig this for being divatastic. In other words, such is the power of the J Lo that she can take a dress we probably wouldn’t like under any other circumstances and almost makes it work through the combined power of attitude and posing (plus hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry). We think we can all learn an important lesson here: Attitude, posing, and lots and lots of expensive jewelry can help make any look better.

But why does she looks someone took the Photoshop smudge tool to her face?

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos]

    • clatie

      No disrespect to Ms. Hohan, but this a little Lohan in the boob department.

      • YoungSally

         She took her styling advice from Gwynnie P.

      • EveEve

        Looks like somebody didn’t quite pull the boudoir drapes all the way closed.

    • http://twitter.com/starlounging Ann M. Erickson

      wrong wrong wrong makeup and lip color. Otherwise, I’m meh on the rest.

      • MoHub

        For a minute there, I thought J-Lo was channeling her inner Anjelica Huston. That makeup makes her almost unrecognizable.

    • InLaLaLand04

      She looks like Kate Hudson…I need a nap!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1567631327 Midge Andrews

      What’s with everyone’s 1980’s eye makeup? I’m confused.

      • Lina_bee

         I know right? It’s like Patrick Nagel’s ghost is possessing all the makeup artists in the business. Creepy.

        • http://www.wordydoodles.com WordyDoodles

           Good call on Nagel!!!

    • jessicasac

      ehhhhhh

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1355527007 Rain Jezek

      All I can think is “Jenny from the block has settled on a career in fortune-telling.”

      • rh33

         My thought, too. Just needs a turban.

    • halleygee

      This looks like something Blanche on the Golden Girls would wear. And her make-up is AWFUL, all that noticeable white powder around her eyes and nose and her lipstick is bleeding and I hate the color. I do like her jewelry.

    • judith traherne

      Needs a turban.

      • Amy Ellinger

        YES!  Then it would be the fierce!!

      • Anathema_Device

         Oooh…you beat me to it. I need to go back to reading the comments before I post! I’ve been lazy about that.

        • formerlyAnon

           To be fair, now that the site gets so many comments, if you try to read them all you can fall very far behind when you’re really supposed to be working. Or at least, that’s been my excuse.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000060490093 Anita Freiler Palmer

           ack. You’re right. I just posted that at the top of the comments.

          • Anathema_Device

            Great minds and all that :-)

      • rainwood1

        And Wayland.

    • Lina_bee

      Heavens, it’s like she raided Joan Crawford’s attic, isn’t it?  I’m also not at all happy with the work she had done on her face. Given that she’s in her 40s, she’s allowed to look like she’s at least in her 30s. This whole fresh-faced as an 18-year-old Fly Girl, so to speak, makes me want to cry. Srsly. Looking old enough to know better (and do it anyway) is sexy!

      • bellafigura1

        Really?  Has she had work done?  I mean I can see Botox/fillers, but actual work? 

      • ampg

        What’s especially ironic is that I think this look really ages her.  So you go to all this trouble to look young, and then end up looking 5 years older than your actual age anyway.

    • halleygee

      I guess it goes with the 1980’s mauve color – haven’t missed either one of them!

    • SewingSiren

      I think that I am a fan of blush colored dresses. I certainly approve of this one and the one Lea Michelle was wearing.
      I hated the book this movie is based on, very condescending. 

      • Anathema_Device

         It should have been titled, “What to Freak Out About When You’re Expecting.” Followed by “What to Obsess over the First Year.”

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ginny-Ellsworth/534496198 Ginny Ellsworth

        We used to call it “The Fetal Fear” book at the library because it would scare the hell out of all the pregnant parents. Wasn’t this the book that let you splurge on your diet by having a bran muffin? mwahhahhahahhahhahaaaaaaaa! Right.

      • giiiirrrr

         I like them too.  I don’t understand why they get lumped in with the awful beige dresses.

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

      Ugh, WHAT?

    • Sobaika

      She looks incredible. You’d think she was showing up to “Fashion: A Retrospective, Hosted by Valentino” instead of what promises to be an awful movie based on a non-fiction pregnancy book, but still. Incredible.

      Makeup is way harsh, Tai.

      • http://www.GiftedCollector.com Nancy Abrams

        I see Ginger Rogers waiting for Fred to appear. 

        The bracelets on her right arm make it look from afar like the cuffs are beaded, which would have been gorgeous. But I agree, it is too much for this movie premiere.

    • stilly001

      I can see her boobtape. No diva attitude can overcome visible boobtape. 

    • holdmewhileimnaked

      she looks like she’s wearing a nightgown, but a stunning one.
      the biggest problem w/ all of this is the movie made from a self-help book.

    • http://twitter.com/mizzelle Julia

      Looks very boudoirish to me — and that dress looks strangely familiar.

      • CheriCPat

         Like maybe Michael made it on PR All Stars?

        • http://twitter.com/urban_gypsy Tess Danesi

          Yes, exactly my thought so I looked it up and then checked to see if anyone else noticed – http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/2012/01/pr-all-stars-feh.html – It’s true that J-Lo elevates it somewhat but Feh about says it. The jewelry however…gimme!

        • Courtney Ashe

           I had the same thought when I saw it.  This looks right in his “Palm Beach ladies who lunch” wheelhouse.

          • bitchybitchybitchy

            It does scream Michael Costello, doesn’t it? The color is very reminiscent of his serape/shroud for Miranda Kerr.

    • Judy_J

      Sorry….this gown looks a couple of sizes too big, if you ask me. And her makeup….atrocious!  Looks like someone did a paint by numbers job on her.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=517890557 Willis Cramer Kliefoth

      she looks like an elderly kardashian sister. but maybe that’s what she was going for???? She and I have never really understood one another.

      • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

        HA!  Loved that phrase “elderly Kardashian sister.”  xo

    • http://profiles.google.com/denise.alden Denise Alden

      Awful.  And usually for me, this woman can do no wrong.

    • Anathema_Device

      So much of this week’s fashion on T Lo is giving me flashbacks. The dusty rose satin thingies are reminding me of my favorite blouson blouse circa 1978. Puffy, lace-trimmed sleeves and all.

      Her lipstick is pure ’90s though.

      Damn, I’m old.

      J Lo needs to rock a turban with this to bring it to full fabulosity.

    • RebeccaKW

      I also don’t like that you can see the underskirt and that it’s shorter than the dress.  The dress is like fancy pajamas from the 40’s. 

      But no doubt, JLo is working this dress.  Take note, Kristen Stewart.  

    • prettybigkitty

      She looks puffy.   

    • formerlyAnon

      The dress is a little old for her, the face a little young.
      I hate the “half-open drapes” bodice.

      And yet . . .

      I don’t know why, but when I am just seeing her face in a haze of blush pink & the neckline (which I like a lot), and not focusing on the reality of the details, I think she looks like a slightly exotic fairy tale princess.

      Not a lot like J-Lo, though.

    • Vaniljekjeks

      Eugh… reminds me of old bras, and those creepy pillowcases my grandmother had when I was small… 

    • J MN

      JLo does like to let the girls out to party and see old friends doesn’t she.  I have to say there comes a time when women hit the 40ish mark that it’s time to put the free range girls away.  At her age and after having had children the breasts are never going to look 25 and perky again without medical intervention.  It’s nothing personal, simple gravity.   

    • Call me Bee

      Yah….no.  Too Faye Dunnaway from her 1976 “Network” days.  Maybe Jenny was going for that.  Or not.  Either way, it looks like she picked this complicated dress and makeup and got to the party and is too tired to enjoy it.  Looks like she is just not having a good time. 

    • Rand Ortega

      Not feeling any of it. From the puddle on the ground to the spackle on the face, it’s all too overwrought. I will keep the jewels & the handbag for my time.

    • TonyGo

      She looks like the Madame Tussauds version of herself.

    • StellaZafella

      Maybe she used RuPaul’s make up artist?

    • Kayceed

      The fact that she looks to be wearing a half slip and is dragging that hem around kind of cracks me up. These things do not seem divaesque to me.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ginny-Ellsworth/534496198 Ginny Ellsworth

        I don’t think it is a half slip, I think it is her industrial strength Spanx.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000060490093 Anita Freiler Palmer

      She needs a matching bejewelled blush turban. Very Dynasty…

    • Lilithcat

      I have a negligée just like that, except it’s off-white.

    • mozzer0906

      Hate.  Hate.  Hate.  It looks like a mu mu and her boobs have a sad.  

    • pattyw

      She’s got Catherine Zeta-Jones eyes (to the tune of “Bette Davis Eyes”).

    • Larkin21

      Bad dress and not a fan of the make-up either. 

    • mini_d

      This dress screams Michael from PR All Stars. Screams! She looks good though – despite the smudge face and long hem.

    • http://aldonsusi.blogspot.com/ Susi R

      This outfit makes me think of Michael Costello! lol

    • merciblahblah

      I’m going to go against the crowd and say I actually like her makeup here, but then I have been digging on a dark burgandy lip since I saw it on Camille Belle at the MET Ball. The dress, however, is waaay too Michael Costello for my liking.

    • Scott Isaacs

      Who knew that Michael Costello would be such a trendsetter with his Mrs. Roper caftan? (Well, aside from Diane von Furstenburg, who asked Michael for his number when he sent his caftan down the runway during All-Stars.)

    • http://twitter.com/AShinyOConnor A Shiny O’Connor

      I want to like this also but I can’t get away from belted tent. Also not feeling the matchy Day-to-Night Barbie accessories

    • ICFashionChic

      See…I like the makeup. This is when dark lips succeed…not on pale skinny girls because then they look like vampires. She has the right skin tone to pull it off. The dress, besides the over exposed boobage, looks a bit matronly don’t you think? However overall, boobtape and all, she still looks amazing!

    • pookiesmom

      Eeegads, I think this looks terrible.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      Really? I think from the hair to the make up to definitely the dress…it all looks like shit.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=610791985 Aniela Marie Perry

      JLo? I thought it was Wendy Deng Murdoch.

    • http://howtofaint.tumblr.com/ How to Faint

      She looks like a trophy wife trying to hard to play at being mother-in-law. D:

    • dramamajor

      I’m getting flashbacks of Michael C’s grapefruit dress from PR All-stars….so I can’t help but hate it.

    • BrooklynBomber

      I agree — cuckoo dress, but she has some of that old fashioned movie star mojo that makes these things work for her. 
      That color really is awful, though. I pity the poor pale movie stars.

    • TheDivineMissAnn

      Good God, how long IS that dress?  I am sure she is wearing the very high heels she is fond of, and the dress is STILL in a puddle on the floor.

      She is on my irrational celebrity hate list, so that is all I am gonna say.

    • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

      How funny – when I saw Naya Rivera’s dress I thought “Bet J.Lo likes that colour” and here she is wearing something in the same sort of family. But I prefer this treatment really.

    • Sara__B

      Blah color, puddled hem, visible spanx slip, sorry cleavage, bleeding lipstick, greasy face, too much white around the eyes, and a belt that looks like the one I use to roll up my sleeping bag. Even one of the greatest living divas can’t pull this off, at least not without a turban (great idea, Anita!).

    • SpcilK

      VampiraLO is a drapy mess and wants to Suck Your Blood!

    • jblaked

      Is she wearing a wig? Her hairline looks odd.

    • http://www.lippsisters.com/ Deborah Lipp

      Alexis Carrington.

    • sagecreek

      Blanche Deveraux.

    • giiiirrrr

      I just do not have a problem with dresses in the pale-pink continuum of the skin-tone range *if* paired with a dark lip.  This totally works for me.

    • cteeny21

      Looks like a Michael Costello original.

    • cteeny21

      Looks like a Michael Costello original.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Karen-Stephens-Bassett/1503492602 Karen Stephens Bassett

      I’m glad you told me who this is, cause I didn’t recognize her.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Karen-Stephens-Bassett/1503492602 Karen Stephens Bassett

      I’m glad you told me who this is, cause I didn’t recognize her.

    • Pants_are_a_must

      Horrible make up. HORRIBLE. From the neck up, she’s an extra from True Blood.

    • calimon

      typo: But why does she looks someone took the Photoshop smudge tool to her face? 
      sb:But why does she looks (like) someone took the Photoshop smudge tool to her face?

    • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

      Very 70’s right down to the cheap looking fabric. You are right though – she is somehow making this work. Such is the power of JLo indeed. 

    • http://twitter.com/kperi1962 Kristin Peri

      Cougar mother-of-the-bride.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F73LIJ3SJGI5AJQMXMWXCKILHI Pamela

      It’s Fay Wray’s nightgown!!

    • Vanessak69

      Lips and fingernails really clash with the dress. Too much eye makeup. I keep staring at her lips.

    • Bill Curtis

      Her makeup gay apparently decided that she needed to look like Catherine Zeta Jones.

    • Zippypie

      Blech!  This is Michael Costello gelato all over again.  And please, HEM it!  Why are these dresses never hemmed properly?

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_CQPXLNCBM5CZSHZZXJDHPVFS7E Buffy

      Other than the color i like this a lot!

    • janetjb

      I like her earrings a lot.

      The dress is almost likable.  It’s too long, the skirt is too sheer, too much bosom, too much dusty blush pink.

    • http://profiles.google.com/adj.blair Adriana Blair

      Oh dear, this reminds me of that satiny pink dress that Michael Costello made on PR All-Stars. I hated that dress and I hate this one too. And is her mouth stained with lipstick around the edges?

    • littlemac8

      Maybe that’s not the underskir…maybe those are her spanks!  Horrible lip color.  Eeek!! Frigihtening!!!

    • splix71

      Looks like she buried her face in a pound of coke, which is oddly appropriate for the 70s vibe she’s got going there.

    • EEKstl

      She’s working it even tho I’m not a fan of that color but PUH-LEEZE, people: Get your hems in order! Love the earrings.

    • PaulaBerman

      This is so Krystle Carrington it’s not even funny. Do not dig.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JSGAZPEESHQT47ATH55GNOHHBY Erin

      My prom dress* was dusty rose satin, and you bitches are wounding me.  WOUNDING ME.

      *in 1987

    • http://twitter.com/Merneith Merneith

      I think that’s a really pretty color. I wish I could get it in a nailpolish.

      • Chaiaiai

        you can.  sally hansen diamond strength, color champagne blush.  am wearing it now.  PERFECT color.

    • nannypoo

      Whoever did her eye makeup needs to be punished.

    • 3boysful

      Oooookaaaaay–I can probably work on the attitude and posing.  Now, where to find hundred of thousands in jewelry . . . . 

    • unbornfawn

      Nope, she’s a hot mess here. Terrible color, the length of the hem is unforgivable, she looks dumpy as hell.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

      Is she in this movie? If not, why is she at the premiere? It looks TERRIBLE, like possibly even offensively so.

    • aimee_parrott

      ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

    • Rebecca Johnson

      NO WIRE HANGERS EVER!

    • Eva_baby

      Eh.  I get the impression she tried to dress old Hollywood glamour but it just comes off left of all wrong somehow.  Like a bizarro mirror.

    • MilaXX

      I actually think her face is a bit overdo, even for JLo.

    • marilyn

      What happened to her face?  Is her lipstick traveling up her face or is it the picture?  In the first picture she looked pasty white, while the rest of her was nice and tanned.  She has a very mean look on her fact, while in her negligee.  This is an aging look for her.  

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/K3O2QNXDJIU3AJINAGNJRYWDZ4 mrspotts66

      the lip color is awesome…meshes well with the nail color.  but it looks like a 7 year old applied it.  what’s up with that.
      i actually like the dress.  needs a hem, but meh.
      and how about a little product to tame those flyaways around her face?

    • Allison Woods

      Yuck.

    • guest2visits

      I think she looks pretty amazing.  Her fashion mojo is so fierce the gown automatically sweeps out of her way when she moves.
      If it fails to do so, it winds up as one of her tiny butt scarfs on American Idol.

    • Lisa

      I hate her.  I’ve always just freaking loathed her.  So when I see her looking like she’s gone full-on Nora Desmond, it nourishes my evil, black soul.

    • jw_ny

      Divatastic indeed.  I’m conflicted because I really hate the color, the length…almost everything to do with the dress…but dang if she isn’t selling it.   It has an extremely matronly look to it…minus that deep plunging neckline.

    • cleep1000

      The dress is very similiar to one that Michael created on Project Runway All-Stars.

    • enid soto

      HILARIOUS makeup FAIL. I’m too distracted by that to care about the rest of the look.

    • plinkiedoodle

      Poor thing, it ages her.

    • MissMariRose

      Dorothy Zbornak lives!

    • samo_samo

      She should put this dress in storage and pull it out in about 10 years.  It might work for her then. She’s too young for it now. 

    • PeaceBang

      I think that’s a JLo impersonator. She must have felt like staying home in her sweats and ordering pizza. It happens.

    • lifetime_student

      This color should only be seen at weddings, on bridesmaids or Mother-of-the-Bride.

    • jabes

      I’m fascinated by the collar — how is it staying so perfectly curved? Is there a wire in there?

      • BrooklynBomber

        illusion netting.

    • http://vvatima.livejournal.com/ murt

      Great makeup!

    • http://twitter.com/dollsaga Helen

      night gown for a mother who needs to  breastfeed her baby  every 2 hours.

    • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

      Can anyone else hear this theme music wafting in from the 1970’s?  “And then there’s Maude… And then there’s Maude.”   Make it stop.  

    • erinbinek

      She seems a little overdressed for the movie theater.

    • Judih1

      looks like a nightgown with with expensive accessories

    • Lisa_Cop

      Sorry but I think this dress is so unflattering on JLo. The top especially, with the very full sleeves, makes her look heavy (which she is not). IMO it just looks very matronly.

    • BayTampaBay

      I think this dress ages her. 

      My 80 year old granny would have worn this dress and worked but JLo is too young for this.

    • bluefish

      Her hair and make-up are gorgeous.  If anyone can pull off a blush satin it’s Miss Jennifer.  She’s old school 60s in a lot of ways.  Would’ve fit right in with Angie Dickenson and Ann Margaret back in the day.  I think she looks great.

    • Cathy S

      Nope. You’re wrong. She can’t pretend that nightgown is a dress. I’m not buying it.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2B6U4UNVYIV5DLEG6Z24ALYOC4 Dan Alexander

      Makeup by Casper of Beverly Hills!

    • sweet_potato

      Jeez, that’s some fugly shizz.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Micaela-Cannon/1465504041 Micaela Cannon

      Oh look, she’s wearing a Michael Costello dress!  How sweet of Miss Jenny to support a new and struggling designer….oh…wait…

    • Beardslee

      It’s hard to carry off Blue Steel in a dress that is too long for you.  However, she almost rises above it.

    • Pcatt

      Too much droopy boobage showing.  Not very classy.  Re: the mauve-y, satiny dress — My mother wore that fabric/color to my wedding.  In 1979. 

    • http://twitter.com/wonderdivaEtsy wonderdivaEtsy

      I looked at this dress and thought “Michael Costello.”  It just doesn’t wow me.

      • LambeeBaby

         I thought the same thing, that f-ugly pink sherbet challenge.

    • H3ff

      She looks ridiculous.

    • http://twitter.com/MsAfroCAN Ms JJ

      If she had other colour options, love the dark lipstick on her, but too much brightness under the eyes. I’d assume that could give you a bit of a glare.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Clydette-Wantland/673315286 Clydette Wantland

      Oh JoLo.  Whatever.

    • Caaro3

      Has Ms Lo had her eyes done again?

    • Renaissance_Man_ATL

      Dusty rose/mauve and rose gold = NASTY!  She looks like she was in bed in her own and realized she forgot she had a red carpet to “grace”, threw on some jewelry and dashed off.

    • Qitkat

      What an odd look for her. Gown is a fail, much too long, just asking for a Janet Jackson moment, not her color. I’m beginning to think this is nobody’s color, which means we’ll probably be seeing a lot of it for a while.

      The makeup is overdone, and she barely looks like herself, but she still looks pretty, and I like her soft hair and those dramatic earrings.

      • Diego!

         I agree with you 100%

      • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

        but those earrings are making my earlobes hurt.

    • Diego!

      I don’t like this at all….

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      it’s joan crawford’s nightgown!  and the eye makeup is making her look like she’s had a too tight facelift.  

      and, what’s next?  “Our Bodies Ourselves”-  the broadway musical?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1313126032 Ajuna Ariel Fenty

      No bueno

    • lilazander

      “I am desperate; fuck me…” j.lo.