Darlings, in case you got drunk and passed out without the news reaching your ears, you probably already know that last night was Fashion’s Prom Night, otherwise known as the Met Gala. What does that mean for you? Why, at least a hundred self-important celebs wearing millions of dollars of borrowed couture, footwear and jewelry are all going to parade in front you today and we’re all going to rip them to shreds. Sound like fun? Get your coffee.
Gwyneth Paltrow attends the Met Gala in a Prada dress paired with Miu Miu sandals and jewelry by Anna Hu Haute Joaillerie.
Gwyneth has a rather famous droopy-boob moment in her red carpet history, one for which she was widely criticized at the time (and that link was found by typing “gwyneth oscars droopy boob,” just so you know). So you would think that she of all ladystars would know the dangers of going braless on the red carpet. Apparently, the lesson didn’t take. We tweeted the following last night when we saw this look:
“Gwyneth. Sweetie. Bra.”
And that about sums it up, wouldn’t you say?
Although we’ll say that the dress is actually quite interesting and if it had provided coverage for the side boobs (and allowance for some form of titular support) we might actually like it. The shoes are sharp and we like the earrings, although we don’t know that they really go with the dress and we think they’re kind of fighting with the cocktail ring. And, okay, we don’t think that skirt works very well at all. It’s weird. We thought we almost-liked this look but we just talked ourselves into not liking it at all.
IN! It’s all working for me. I don’t know what you’re going on about. Also, bras are overrated.
OUT! DROOPY TITS AND MULLET SKIRT. Why are you even asking this question?
Also, please don’t correct us on the use of “titular.” We like it.
Ellie Kemper’s attempt to be interesting fell flat, and she was voted OUT for it. The Bitter Kittens can be so cruel, can’t they?
[Photo Credit: Getty]