Heidi Klum in Michael Kors

Posted on May 22, 2012

If we were Michael Kors — hey, that would be kind of a fun party game.

If we were Michael Kors …

… We’d color-coordinate all the people on staff. Wednesdays are FUCHSIA!

… We’d order $3000 worth of pizza from Domino’s and have it delivered to Jason Wu.

… We’d make Lea Michelle grovel for a dress.

… We’d tell Nina Garcia to crack a smile and then smack her on the ass to see what she does.

… We’d blow through a string of male personal assistants with impressive cheekbones and tiny waists, all of whom would leave our employ in tears – but much richer.

… Fittings would be catered.

…We’d sit behind a 24-karat gold-plated desk and throw diamonds at low-level staff when we’re in a good mood; small pebbles when we’re in a bad one.

But we digress.

What we’re trying to say here is, if we were the Duchess…

Heidi Klum picks her children from a karate class in Los Angeles in Michael Kors. Wildlife by Heidi Klum necklace.

Michael Kors Spring 2012 Collection/Model: Bette Franke

Wildlife by Heidi Klum Hammered Tassel Aztec Necklace

We’d stop lending shit to the Klum until she apologizes and promises never to do this again.

Not that it looks totally awful, but those Scooby Gang pants aren’t helping at all.


[Photo Credit: Survivor/PacificCoastNews.com, qvc.com,  elle.com]

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  • Her shoes look like they’re trying to escape.

  • sherrietee

    Hey, I’m glad she wore pants.  

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Word. After the Miley Cyrus mishap, Iwant everyone, everywhere, to wear pants.

      • But, but,…can I, as a kilt wearer extraordinaire, have special dispensation? I love la Klum’s top, but the hippie chick jeans are an off note.

        • sherrietee

           I love kilts as a general rule, and carry blue ribbon around just in case.  But, a kilt would look ridiculous with that top.  🙂

          • Ha ha! I should have said that I like that top on Heidi. I would never wear that, kilted or not.

    • I was actually shocked to see her legs covered, especially after the runway shot.

  • schadenfreudelicious

    in the harsh light of day tiger stripe/army green is a frightening color combination…..

    • Aly Light

       They’re especially bad on a blonde– it takes perfectly tuned make-up for me to be able to wear army green at all, but pairing it with “don’t shoot me, I swear I’m not a deer” orange is going to completely ruin that.

  • ChaquitaPhilly

    Oh Crap! She looks so awful…but it sure is funny!

  • No way in hell would I smack Nina Garcia on the ass just to see what she does.  I enjoy being alive too much.

    • Betcha when you get enough gin in her, she’s a crack up, and really down to earth. I’ve always gotten the sense that there are two distinct Nina faces.

  • It’s a shame what she did with those pants.  Because I actually quite like the top.  Skinny jeans and sandals and she would have nailed it. 

    • terekirkland

       Read my mind. Even cute walking shorts and sandals would get a pass from me.

  • AlinaValero

    love this post. 

  • Scarlet39

    I never thought I’d say this, but I think I like it better without pants.

    But bless her heart, she does try, doesn’t she?

  • Super_Red

    I’m gonna be in the minority here, but I really love this look. While I don’t do it anymore, my highschool days consisted of skirts over jeans, and this look just makes me happy. Plus, flare jeans are awesome! 🙂 

    • MoHub

       Yes. But Heidi is a long way out of high school.

    • Cathy S

       I love it too!

  • Sobaika

    I guess I’ll just resign to being annoyed whenever another culture is watered down and made palatable in the name of fashion. What is a Hammered Tassel Aztec Necklace and what business does Heidi have making one?

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Heidi’s done a number of side businesses-jewelry in addition to the clothing lines that she’s worked into challenges for PR.

      • SassieCassy

        Does she make “tribal” jewelry in all of her side businesses?

  • egl48

    Is it Halloween already?

  • formerlyAnon

    It’s nice to know that on a Harried Mom day, having a great body, killer cheekbones & designer duds in which to schlep the kids doesn’t really make as much of a difference as the rest of us might think. Even the nanny didn’t save her.

    • CozyCat

      Yes indeed!  Because Schaudenfreude is better than no freude at all.

  • Pupioso

    I like the fact that Heidi can look just as drab as the rest of us on occasion. Two thumbs up. 

  • Heidi, honey, take a cue from your nanny behind you and wear a billowy shirt with skinny jeans.

  • FlamingJune1967

    Really?  I kinda like this.  But I’m a maxi-dress wearing hippie kind of girl so probably biased.

    • TropiCarla

      I kinda dig it too. 😉

  • formerlyAnon

    P.S. I think “TLo Take Over for Michael Kors” could be a successful reality show.  On Bravo, because I’d pay money for the after show with Andy Cohen.

  • GorgeousThings

    Oh no, she does look awful.

  • Amy

    You know it’s bad if a supermodel looks hideous in it. I mean even a trash bag would trump this.And not the kind with the handles that draw it in- I’m talking full on generic hefty bag.

  • Especially criminal for a gal who owns – and regularly rocks – skinny jeans like no other mama can. I understand wanting to wear something under the top but not ugly, gray cords. Chic to hippy in one fell swoop.

    And it is remarkable that your ‘if I were MK’  list is the same as my ‘if I were DVF’ list.
    Except I would send the pizzas to Georgina Chapman.

  • Patti Lever

    Well this explains the judging on PR!! 

  • janetjb

    Heidi, please take note: my teen says big top + skinny pants + sandals = happiness.

  • Lina_bee

    Yipe. I tried on a pair of pants last month that fit like these do, and left them in the fitting room. What the HELL happened to pants that fit? The size on the tag was right, but the hip fit was a full size smaller than the length would indicate.  I am so sick of this trend.  WOMEN ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE THIGHS.

    • kimmeister

      I do like, though, that many stores now have a “curvy fit” line of pants for those of us who are bootylicious but with small waists.

      • I am a mom, so I shop on the cheap, and Old Navy has a line of sweetheart cut jeans that are to die! They fit curves, and you don’t have to have a tiny waist with those curves. 

  • J MN

    She looks frickin’ awesome just to be running around town picking up her children.  She really is a great, attentive and involved mom.  I like the whole look for a casual easy day.  I especially like necklace and checked out the link.  She has nice things in her Wildlife line and are a vast improvement over the clover jewelry she was selling.    

  • butter nut

    she looks like someone’s tired mother and i kind of love her for it.  werq that motherhood realness!

  • Nay to the Poncho-Hippie_blouse-Dress-thing. Fug-city. Even on the model.  What’s with the Morticia Addams sleeves?

  • In_Stitches

    She backed Mondo, but that tent and the necklace she apparently designed are pure Gretchen…interesting.  

  • Terence Ng

    The Scooby Doo pants look like they go with the Scooby Doo top. Literally. It’s like they stitched Shaggy’s shirt and Velma’s sweater together, then smacked it against the Mystery Machine after its decals were just freshly repainted.

  • miagain

    That thing wouldn’t work on anybody!  Have you seen a lot of his ready to wear stuff in Department stores… ugh.  How can he unleash such stuff on the American public?

  • Wednesdays are FUSCHIA! may become my new catch phrase. 

  • SewingSiren

    I think she looks right for the occasion. I’m not a big fan of the color/dye of the top, but I love the cut. 

  • Judy_J

    I think you’re being a bit harsh on the Heidi.  I agree that the jeans are a bit too 1972, but other than that, she looks like a typical mom hearding the children from one playdate to another.  She’d blend right in here in Austin.

  • marilyn

    It’s her day off.  She is picking up her kid from karate class.  She does not need to look runway ready.  The weird retro 60’s top needs pants.  I view this as an off day in her personal life.  Cut her some slack.

  • E_bee

    Love that her little girl looks cute as can be in a dress that’s currently on sale at Zeller’s for $7.99.

  • Anathema_Device

    That outfit is godawful and dumpy. Her casual looks are usually so much better than this.

  • MilaXX

    Tights would have been better, but this is Heidi we’re talking about. Be glad she wore pants at all.

  • It’s the green…and the Scooby pants are fine. They sure as heck fit.

  • I think she kind of looks like Rachel Hunter here. 

  • Char Crop

    Yeh…lol…be glad she wore pants!

  • TheOriginalLulu

    I love the top, but those pants are making her look so stumpy!
    Also, why does she torture her children with those hideous Crocs? Why Heidi, why??

  • momogus

    OMG “Scooby Gang Pants”!!! Exactly.

  • erinbinek

    Skinny jeans would have saved this look. It still wouldn’t have been good, but it would have helped.

  • Sorry, I love the Scooby pants with this. I would totally wear it.

  • CatherineRhodes

    WTF is going on with celeb’s resistance to hemming their pants. It just looks stupid.

  • golden_valley

    So nice to see that Heidi’s kid is dressed like a normal kid, not like the kid of a fabulous super model.  As to the Crocs…listen folks, it is hard to get shoes on a busy 3 or 4 year old.  The kids can put their own Crocs on with a minimum of drama so leave them alone!

  • AnaRoW

    The only problem I have is that the jeans are too long. It looks like she’s stepping on the back of them. Otherwise I kind of like the hippie look.

  • Yes, you know we’re ALL glad she’s wearing pants — she’s picking up the tots from karate!! I think she looks like the coolest mom ever, including the Scooby Gang jeans. LOVE IT!

  • EEKstl

    It is not the fact of Scooby Pants that I have the problem with; it’s the COLOR of aforementioned Scooby Pants.  Blue jeans?  Sure.  White?  Why not.  GREY?  Yuck.

  • susu11

    If those pants had been skinnies and she had some cute leather sandals on, this look could have been uber-cute. I think this might be the most covered up I’ve ever seen Heidi.

  • The first place my eye went was to her inner thigh, where it looks like there is a touch of flab.  She’s HEIDI FUCKING KLUM.  Flab is not a sin, but I bet she’s got about half a pound of it (all of which is highlighted by her outfit).  Those pants need to be burned.

  • PaulaBerman

    Are flares back in now? I have been saving mine in the hopes…

  • Pennymac

    I usually love the dutchess, but this olive and orange poncho thing, not so much. Frau Klums styling of it is not helping, but I think its fugly either way.

  • HeatherD9


    Thanks E_bee, OriginalLuLu, & golden_valley.

    I thought I might be the only one  that caught her daughter’s outfit. I’ll confess to a making a small  “Squeee!” when I saw it…
     My little girl has the same dress & like Lou is a mixed race child.  I think the colours look great on her & it’s v easy to get on & off a wriggly toddler.  She does wear sandals instead tho’.

    Hey Tlo, how’s about a celebrity kid fashion show?  No need to critique, just loads of photos of itty bitty fabulousness 🙂


  • giiiirrrr

    Guys, if you were Michael Kors (and you should be for at least a day!) you would NOT design an orange tie-dyed poncho.  Right?  

  • bluefish

    If we were Michael Kors we would disavow this look.  Terrible.

  • I love what she’s wearing. Especially with the pants. #FightMe

    I think it looks relaxed, and yes, “hippie,” but not in an unwashed way, just in a chill, cute way. 

  • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

    Although, to be honest, that is one ugly dress/shirt/poncho/whatever that Kors designed … so maybe they owe each OTHER an apology.  Sure have seen Heidi look better than this shit.  Those pants are atrocious.

  • samo_samo

    Seriously…give the woman a break. She’s picking up her kids from karate class. I bet she looks 100 times better than the rest of the moms picking up their kids.  I think it’s a cute look. As for the pants, be glad she’s wearing some.  You guys would have ripped her to shreds had she opted for the pant-less runway look. 

  • I’m guessing that she was going for daytime demure mommy with the pants and missed.

  • Heh, you guys should implement a day out of the year for your readers to wear a certain article of clothing/accessory — and when we see each other out and about we can shout out, ‘heeey guuurl!’.  This will mark the nerdom that is TLo.

  • Laura Valentine

    how cute would this have looked with a dark skinny jean?  oh, heidi.

  • Ezmartin

    This looks like an outfit ugly Betty would wear.

  • Ezmartin

    This looks like an outfit ugly Betty would wear.

  • Zippypie

    The color combination and the Scooby pants are making my eyes burn.

  • SouthernGirlRena

    I like the pants much better than the top. Her daughter is adorable but how can anyone do karate in a dress and crocs?

    • LambeeBaby

      I think the Karate Kid is behind her. I see a white leg poking out behind her.

  • guest2visits

    Although not a terrible outfit to pick-up the kids in; I would have paired it with darker jeans or darker pants of some sort.
    Right now it’s on the faded fringe of hippie grunge. Expensive hippie grunge.  Not a bad use for an African safari inspired
    smock top. Wearing it probably gives it a little boost, in fact.    Comes with the necklace.  ha.

  • AutumnInNY

    Happy Halloween. Hiddy all around.

  • Susan Crawford

    This would have looked OK with leggings, or with bare legs and some killer sandals. But those pants . . . just NO.

  • blondie65

    Have to call the tech guy again…just spewed coffee all over my computer laughing at the “if we were Michael Kors” list.  Thanks TLO…fantastic!