Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Julie Bowen

Posted on May 07, 2012

Julie, when you see these pictures – and you will see this pictures – console yourself with one thought:

Julie Bowen hosts the Huggies Hawaiian and Baby2Baby Luau Event in Beverly Hills.

It’s not anyone else’s dress either. It’s cute how you thought you could pull this off, but pairing it with those shoes makes you look like a castmember of Mama’s Family.

Go home and get drunk, dear.

 

[Photo Credit Getty]

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  • JasmineAM

    Oh, honey.

  • Kyle Crawford

    “It’s cute how you thought you could pull this off, but pairing it with those shoes makes you look like a castmember of Mama’s Family.” Ok… that is one of yalls top 10 lines ever

  • SpcilK

    Tisk, tisk, tisk!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=49702581 Susan Bullard Mayer

    While the top has some fit issues, it’s screaming to be a light, flowy maxi dress.  Then it would be IN.

    Love the color and print, but OUT.

    • Stephanie Burgess

      Totally agree. It’s be cute as a maxi dress but THAT LENGTH IS AWFUL. It doesn’t work on anyone. Designers, please stop making these weird mid-calf dresses.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5UQHEKG5EDX4T6NMARUC565TPQ Amy

    And eat a sandwich too with that martini! Please. And thank you.

  • Sobaika Mirza

    This is either too short or too long on her.

  • Susan Crawford

    “Mama’s Family”! Perfect!

    Definitely not one of her better looks. But the awful camera angle added to the wrongness. And those abysmal shoes. Clunky, strappy white sandals are definitely NOT A Good Thing. Think how much cuter Julie would have looked in a shorter dress – maybe a nice Carolina Herrera sundress in linen or polished cotton, and a pretty pair of flats or pumps. And maybe combed hair?

    Also, I never realized how skinny-minny this gal really is! Yikes, Julie – eat a sangwidge, OK?

    • lordandtaylor

      Great ideas. You should be her stylist. Please give her a call.

    • librarygrrl64

      She has reached an “I am concerned for her health” level, IMO. It’s hard even watching her on Modern Family, and it’s a damned shame because she is a talented and beautiful woman.

      • Susan Crawford

        I know! I went back and checked out a couple of episodes from Season 1, and she looked SO much healthier. She looks very drawn these days. Julie, come over and I’ll make you a nice lasagna and some bracciole, okay? Mangia, girl.

        • Caaro3

          Ooh, that sounds delicious!  Should I bring a nice chianti?

          • Susan Crawford

            Come onna my house, Caaro3!

      • Stephanie Burgess

         Glad I’m not the only one who noticed. I know she’s an avid runner so maybe she needs to cut back. Maybe add some delicious carbs.

  • dschubba

    I’m sure Huggies understands the importance of fit. Julie Bowen? I’m not so sure.

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      LOL!!! 

    • schadenfreudelicious

      the fit on that bust is so odd i wonder if she has a Huggies tucked in there??

  • MilaXX

    It’s a very ordinary dress. That is to say if I saw a woman at church or on the street in this dress I wouldn’t think she was a DON’T. The shoes on the other hand all 10 kinds of hiddy and the lack of makeup is a serious misstep.

  • PastryGoddess

    Apparently her gays were drinking the breast milk when they let her leave the house like this

  • kikisayshi

    Perhaps in the spirit of the Huggies mom event, she attempted to make her own dress at home.

  • Anathema_Device

    The bodice style doesn’t seem to go with the dress. I want to see more of an A-line after the gathers and no waistband. It would still be a pretty ordinary dress, but it would make more sense, style-wise.  And those shoes should be burned.

  • http://twitter.com/hdl_b Heather Barkman

    She needs to hire a whole new team. She always seems to look a little (or a lot) off when she makes public appearances.

    • BazoDee

      I agree. I think they try to show off her tiny frame but they try to keep her in more grown-up styles that seem not to be meant for her shape and then it doesn’t quite work. 

  • http://tracismixedbag.com tracismixedbag

    Well, maybe she could pull it off at a Southern BBQ or The Kentucky Derby, where she would need a giant tacky hat to go with it. But NO WHERE ELSE. Now on second thought, it doesn’t even fit her. 

    • http://tracismixedbag.com tracismixedbag

      And those ’90s shoes. Yep, a backyard BBQ. 

  • spooki C

    Oh jeeze… well the color is nice at least lol. What is that dress made out of? It looks scratchy.

  • BazoDee

    Did she stuff tissue paper in those cups -because that’s what it sort of looks like. From the neck down she looks like a tween girl trying to wear her big sister’s dress. 
    ETA – And oh -those shoes must GO!!! Somehow the combination makes her look like a “what not to wear” candidate.

    Personally, I know she loves to show off her super svelte frame, but she needs skirts that add back in a little hip/shape/curves since she doesn’t really have any. I think it must be hard to style her because to me they never really get it right.

    • RebeccaKW

       Yes, everything she wears really exaggerates her boniness.  I’m not concerned about her weight or whatever, but like anyone else, she needs to figure out what silhouettes suit her. 

      Does she even use a stylist?  For the RC maybe, but for an event like this? 

      • BazoDee

        EXACTLY!!! The stuff she wears does not suit her shape at all!! I think she might be what we used to call long waisted. I really can’t think I’ve ever seen her in a great silhouette that works for her -except maybe that pants suit for the 2011 SAGs -but then she always tends to column dresses. 

        She really doesn’t look like she had a stylist for this event -I can’t believe a stylist signed off on those shoes. Maybe there is a funny story about her stepping in a puddle on the way over and just grabbing the shoes off the Huggies rep for the photos. 

        • kimmeister

          We don’t call it long-waisted anymore?

          • sagecreek

            We don’t? Why not?

          • BazoDee

            I just haven’t seen that term in such a long time -I assumed it had gone the way of the do do bird. But she is long waisted and needs wider waistbands, belts something to break up that torso.

    • RebeccaKW

       Yes, everything she wears really exaggerates her boniness.  I’m not concerned about her weight or whatever, but like anyone else, she needs to figure out what silhouettes suit her. 

      Does she even use a stylist?  For the RC maybe, but for an event like this? 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=517890557 Willis Cramer Kliefoth

    ooooo, dear. That’s sad. 

  • lordandtaylor

    All I can think of is< "OH ME, OH MY. THE DRESS BARN STRIKES AGAIN"

  • RebeccaKW

    As fun as they were, Naomi and Iola are not style icons.  Send their shoes back to 1985.

    Also, this dress is making me itchy. 

  • http://twitter.com/GaraStJames Gara St. James

    She should have gone full “Mama’s Family” and jacked up her hair, either a brassy blonde (a la Naomi) or a lovely blue rinse (a la Thelma). Or even a gingham hair bow (a la Iola).

  • http://twitter.com/GaraStJames Gara St. James

    She should have gone full “Mama’s Family” and jacked up her hair, either a brassy blonde (a la Naomi) or a lovely blue rinse (a la Thelma). Or even a gingham hair bow (a la Iola).

  • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

    omg that is awful.  and i love green.  i was glad to see she’s at a luau, at least that’s a clues as to how this could happen.  purchased at the last mervyn’s just as they closed, for $4.99.

    • http://twitter.com/ennisamy Amy Ennis

      OMG! I hadn’t thought of Mervyn’s for years! I used to live in their clothes!

  • YourLibrarian

    It’s such a shame. She really is an adorable woman, but she (or her team) just can’t dress her body or play up her assets. I read an interview in which she said she has the “hips of a boy” and has a hard time finding anything that will flatter her figure. She has to be able to do better than this, though. The makeup, also, is a horror.

    • RebeccaKW

       Yes, look at Cathy Cambridge.  She has no hips, either, and seems to be able to flatter her figure. 

      • sagecreek

        As someone with some substantial hips, seems to me that all fashion is for women with no hips. No hips is now a problem? Poor Julie!

    • formerlyAnon

      I spent the years from 14 to 40-mumble trying to make my figure- with hips- look good in the clothes I admire – designed for long-legged women with boyish hips. 

      Never worked.  I have learned, finally. Though I have to fight the tendency to backslide.

      If your hips are truly boyish, ma’am, I beg you: work those fashions. Someone should get to do so.

  • Ennovi_R

    Yikes!

  • Pennymac

    I was kinda getting a “Walton-esque dance at the Dew-Drop-Inn” vibe, but then I read “Mamma’s Family”. You nailed it, TLo.
    And for the record, I passed on this one when I saw it at the thrift store 10 yrs ago. YUCK!

  • http://twitter.com/londonpenguin Teresa M.

    You know exactly what happened. She was sitting in her kitchen having her morning coffee when, “Crap! That diaper luau!” And she dashed upstairs and frantically pawed through her closet till she found something vaguely tropical. And her hair is totally styled à la “bad hair day.”

    • mountainFashionista

       ”Crap! That diaper luau!”

      I don’t know why, exactly, but this sends me into gales of laughter every time I read it!  :-D

    • mountainFashionista

       ”Crap! That diaper luau!”

      I don’t know why, exactly, but this sends me into gales of laughter every time I read it!  :-D

  • Judy_J

    Fashion disaster.

  • Lina_bee

    Yeah, the length is a problem. It should be long or short, not calf-length. I do like the green, and I think someone like Viola Davis would look great in it — but it would need to be longer with a flowy skirt.

  • librarygrrl64

    Ugh. I just can’t with her any more.

  • NilBlur

    sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiddde… SORRY!

  • greyhoundgirl

    Actually, I’d like her to go home and eat.

  • Char Crop

    Splat! …Cast member of Mama’s Family! How do you guys come up with this stuff? LMAO!

  • Ozski

    ..and for Crissakes EAT SOME CHEESE.

  • Calinda_L

    It’s kind of 1992′s dress, which probably should have been her first clue that it wasn’t HER dress. 

  • janetjb

    The color is quite nice on her, but the dress is a fail.

  • janetjb

    The color is quite nice on her, but the dress is a fail.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=22917995 Nicole Renee

    Bobble head alert! I don’t mind the dress, minus the weird waist, awkward length, and stupid twisty straps. Yes, that is what they are, unintelligent little twits of straps. 

  • Snailstsichr

    I’m still waiting to see her in something designed by Bert Keeter. 

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    OH MY GOD.  Today is my 50th Birthday fellow kittens.  And I was all sad.  Like being Peggy Lee in the corner in the dark with a cigarette, singing “Is that all there is?”   And then I read TLo’s “Mama’s Family” reference.  And blew iced coffee onto the screen.  Thank you thank you thank you. 

    • greyhoundgirl

      BWGP:  Happy Birthday!  The best is yet to come!

    • Anathema_Device

       HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Celebrate it, don’t mourn it.

    • formerlyAnon

      Happy Birthday! Two thoughts: 1) 50 is going to look downright juicy when you’re looking back from 70 or 80! and 2) At 50, you are officially entitled to let it show, sometimes, that you just don’t give a shit about what the jackass whose lips are moving thinks you should be doing/thinking/being. (Seriously. I think it’s somewhere in Federal Administrative Code.)

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Martha-Hicks-Leta/1059884884 Martha Hicks Leta

        Word.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Martha-Hicks-Leta/1059884884 Martha Hicks Leta

    Oh, come on. It’s not THAT bad. She wore it to an event sponsored by a diaper company. What should one wear, then, to pose amid boxes of little pants that children shit in?

  • lonepear

    I am pretty sure I wore those shoes to my 8th grade dance.

  • adnama79

    Mama’s Family!  Hadn’t thought about that show in a long while.  And yet, spot on.

  • tallgirl1204

    Sorry, dissenting again.  I think it’s cute and feminine.  Top’s too big, though. 

  • Markatha

    I LOVE Mama’s Family!!!

  • Sophie Collier

    It’s a diaper-themed luau.  I doubt she gives a fuck.  That dress woulda been better without the sash.  Not a bad choice for  a beach party, though, don’t you think?

  • BeeBeauNYC

    Well, at least she’s got one hell of a rocking bod, even though it’s a bad dress. I totally forgive her though as she is at a Huggies event.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/toodleskitty79?feature=guide AWS

    Thank you.  I needed that laugh…

  • TieDye64

    Oh, yeah. Mama’s Family….hahahahaaaa. Rough day so many thanks for the laugh guys. 

  • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

    Baby2Baby Luau in Beverly Hills?

  • TheOriginalLulu

    Wow, she looks so matronly, which is odd given the fact that the dress is very bare and strappy and is obviously meant to be breezy and sexy. Those shoes are awful.

  • guest2visits

    She’s so pretty; and this is a pretty color for her. If only the bottom half was pleated or alot more substantial with fabric, it might
    balance her figure better.  5 or 6 more lbs. would make her a little less fragile and stressed looking. As with most celebs and models.

  • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

    “Mama’s Family” – snort!  You guys, that’s just mean!  ;)

  • CatherineRhodes

    She’s at a Hawaiian luau promoting disposable diapers — really? That is a new low in celebrity whoreage.

  • butter nut

    if you mussed up the hair, shoved an over-loaded shopping cart in her hand & changed the setting to the side of a freeway, this dress would make more sense & the shoes would work.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7HFJAPMKDEHZKV7XZLFFROTPFI Julie

    I think this could be Eva Mendez’s dress