Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: January Jones

Posted on May 04, 2012

Oh, Miss JJ. Tsk.

January Jones attends the ‘La Revolution Bleue’ Special Screening in NYC in a Mary Katrantzou dress paired with Sergio Rossi pumps.

Mary Katrantzou Fall 2012 Collection/Model: Veronika Peshkova

It’s funny. We would’ve thought that after Fat Betty was revealed to the world, she’d want to hit the RC wearing tiny, tight, skin-baring dresses just to show that she’s still got it going on under those prosthetics. We’re kind of proud of her for not going the obvious route. And we totally salute anyone who wants to wear a Mary Katrantzou dress for a public appearance because while they’re fun and innovative dresses, they’re not always easy to pull off. In fact, this may be our least favorite Katrantzou dress ever. It’s awkwardly shaped, what with the odd side straps coming out of the bust. We might’ve been able to sign off on this dress if it had just been a simple strapless with a sweetheart neckline. You can’t get too cute with a bust design otherwise it throws off a gal’s whole shape.

Sorry, Jan. We’re not sure who this dress is for, but it ain’t for you. Your makeup, on the other hand, is flawless, so there’s that.

 

[Photo Credit: Jason Kempin/Getty Images, elle.com]

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=601016544 Amy J Albin

    While it is not great, I dont think it is horrid on her.

  • http://twitter.com/watchinginkdry Dr Skylaser

    Yeah, it doesn’t look good on JJ–but it doesn’t look good on the model, either.

  • Sobaika Mirza

    Anyone else see a moth on her boobs or just me?

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_OSYAJATXUH3QX7ZDDF52GXG4PU Janie R

      I was thinking a kitty  cat face. 

      • HomeOfficeGirl

        Janie – didn’t see your post before putting up my comment – yes, a cat!!

    • P M

       No, you’re right. Those are moth boobs >D

    • http://profiles.google.com/ellenbehm Ellen Behm

      I see the cat. A giant cat. Taking over her body.

    • http://profiles.google.com/ellenbehm Ellen Behm

      I see the cat. A giant cat. Taking over her body.

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      Sure,  I can see a moth too!  But my first thought was that I saw a cat – her cat eye makeup sort of echos the cat eye shape of the bust – I see a little cat nose and cat ears and whiskers… What a freaky dress!!

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      Sure,  I can see a moth too!  But my first thought was that I saw a cat – her cat eye makeup sort of echos the cat eye shape of the bust – I see a little cat nose and cat ears and whiskers… What a freaky dress!!

    • Rebecca Johnson

      I see a flying monkey spreading its wings. Seriously. That’s what I get for watching Wizard of Oz last weekend.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=745465637 Nellie Wilson

      Funny you should mention that. When I saw the dress, I thought “Silence of the Lambs”.

    • amber_julene

       It looks like a cat’s face to me…

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2P2ANLRZ6YAVGONA36I2AQJYGI VicD

      I’m pretty sure her boobs are trying to hypnotize us.

  • halleygee

    Wow, that’s bad. And she forgot to get her hair done, too.

  • piecesofconfetti

    I don’t think her hair is helping her either. But her face does look very pretty!

    • sleah_in_norcal

      will this trend of ugly hair ever be over?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5YU3L5FGKYACQFYI2QVTF44LMU Jill

    You gotta hand it to her, she takes risks. It doesn’t seem like she’s having to prove to the world that the Fat Betty fat is fake. Hope she’s back on MM soon.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3KCDEX4FOTCFHZP6WLKSOOKUVM Danielle

    I think it looks ok, but not great.  But then I can’t imagine that looking great on anybody.

    • Glammie

      Yep.  I always used to use the Naomi Campbell test–if Naomi Campbell couldn’t wear it, it was an unearable dress.  I *think* Naomi could have pulled it off at her peak fierceness, but it’s iffy.  Poor January doesn’t have a chance–she just doesn’t have the face or coloring for edgy, but she’s always going for it.

      • AmandaCathleen

         Ooo, yeah I think Naomi would be a good choice for this. Or maybe Zoe Saldana. I don’t really love the look in general, but I don’t think it’s so awful that the right woman couldn’t save it.

  • moppet

    Hmm…I…hmm. Maybe that’s Rihanna’s dress? I’m not sure. I feel like I want to give JJ claps for effort, though, because that dress ain’t easy and she’s working it. Think about how much more awkward it would look if she weren’t putting some zhush into it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Colleen-Kay-Sanceda-Gadon/725256919 Colleen Kay Sanceda Gadon

    That dress just gave her another baby bump 

  • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

    This is Kelly Osborne’s dress.

    • In_Stitches

       Perfect call!  On a shorter gal with some curves and some interest up in the hair to detract from all the…design, I can totally see it. 

  • calimon

    The shorter skirt effs with the already complex proportions and silhouette. I’m having trouble distinguishing whether the dress is right-side up or upside down…maybe if I just spin my laptop around.

  • MrsKrause

    This is not anyone’s dress. 

    • TAGinMO

      THIS.

      As I studied it in slackjawed puzzlement, I thought to myself: “So whose dress IS it, then, TLo?” Was pleased to see they didn’t have an answer either. :-)

      So, so, unflattering, even on tiny people like the model and JJ.

    • http://twitter.com/aStudiobytheSea a Studio by the Sea

        It would work if humans were shaped like Lego people.

    • MK03

      Beat me to it.

  • P M

    It would have been vastly improved by: a) removing that hem detail thing on the blouse / top; b) modifying the top to be fully fitted; c) adding a sparkly accessory to the hair (IMHO). 

    • SassieCassy

      agreed on the hair! but i think the dress just has one element too many, if we were to take off the weird wrap around sleeve potion she would look fine. from the front at least. from the side that thing on her tummy would stll look like a kangaroo pouch.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_64HSRZWCSJ5RBFGCWDLFQOICYM G

    The way she is holding her hands, as if to hide this wreck, looks like she is  uncomfortable in this… so why bother with the hair?  Let’s just get it over with.

    • TheDivineMissAnn

      I dunno.  The way the “sleeves” are on that dress, she may not be able to put her arms anywhere else!

      Or she spilled something on it.

  • Beardslee

    I don’t think that dress is ANYBODY’s dress.  And it’s too bad because it looks like fun.

  • Alisa Rivera

    I think the problem is the length. The longer version better balances out the complicated bustline and shoulder straps. The proportions are off on the shorter version. 

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/ZFKRECRF5BOBWB4RXAJGI4D6KA mmc

      Agreed.  

  • http://twitter.com/starrika Ali

    Actually, I really like it. It’s not a WERQ, by any means, but I think it’s an in. 

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

      I like it too. Or I think I would, if JJ would move her arms and let me see it.
      But they are right, it is SO not her dress.

  • Scarlet39

    She looks incredibly short waisted in this.  That’s the main problem I see. 

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    I actually gasped out loud.  This thing is horrifying on her.  It destroys her proportions, and is far too complex, visually.  Your eye never knows where to rest.  Its exhausting to look at.

    • ballerinawithagun

      Exhausting is the perfect word. I’m so over Mary Katranzou’s digital prints and piled on stuff.

    • ballerinawithagun

      Exhausting is the perfect word. I’m so over Mary Katranzou’s digital prints and piled on stuff.

  • http://theargiehome.blogspot.com/ Gus Casals

    I don’t like the way that she’s posing, it’s like it showcases all of the problems with the dress and makes her look completely lacking confindence. 

  • Allyson Wells

    Wasn’t “Fat Betty” written into the show because January was pregnant? She may not be ready for tiny, skin-baring dresses quite yet! I agree with you, though; this is not her dress. It may not be anyone’s dress for for that matter.

    • GypsyHowell

      I saw her a couple months ago at a Mad Men Talk, and trust me, she is ready for tiny, skin-baring dresses.  

      While I don’t much like the dress on the model either, it is much better with the long skirt. And if they insisted on shortening the skirt on her version, why o why did they add to the horror with all the patterny crap at the hem?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EDI2DLE7DE3YPW2ONIHBWOVHMA ecallaw

    I’m more inclined to give it an OUT than a Girl, That’s Not Your Dress, because I don’t think that’s really anybody’s dress.   It’s just fug.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1542185727 Barb Cooper

    I, on the other hand was totally taken by the bodice (in the thumbnail) and only gasp when I saw the whole dress. I think it would have worked without the funny overskirt which when paired with the shortened hem makes the whole ensemble look like a maternity top and skirt.

  • Jessica O’Connell

    This is WAY too complicated for her. Also – hate the hair.

    I’m cranky. Is it 5 yet?

  • judith traherne

    This poor woman could not dress herself to save her life. Mystifying. 

  • AthenaJ

    Interesting on the runway, horrible in person.

  • Violina23

    It looks like the front of the dress wants to fly away

  • Judy_J

    The peplum looks awkward in the shorter length January is wearing.  It makes her look stumpy.  And I really don’t like those dropped sleeves. 

    • http://wipgirl.wordpress.com/ kristel

      Does a peplum ever look good? I don’t think I’ve ever seen it used in a way I’ve liked, but I’d love for someone to prove me wrong..

      • Judy_J

        Back in the ’70′s, I had a cute little plaid jacket with a peplum…wore it with those wide-legged pants that were all the rage.  It was one of my favorite outfits.  Wish I had a photo.

  • introspective

    the dress is so busy cause too many tricks were thrown at it. the whole thing equals a mess.

  • TieDye64

    Boob wings. This is no one’s dress.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    She isn’t one for overly complex dresses in general. She needs to stop trying so hard.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Linda-Ritchie-Unger/1497801615 Linda Ritchie Unger

    I want to just rip everything extraneous off this dress.  The print is busy enough!  Tear off those rorshach blot bird wings over her boobs.  Tear off those embroidered flowers and lace from the peplum – in fact, tear off that peplum entirely.  

  • janetjb

    Those arm things are a horrible distraction.  It’s a bit short to carry such a large peplum, but it’s only marginally better on the model.

  • Anathema_Device

    Frankendress. She rolled in a remnant bin. She lost a bet. It is all just so…mystifying…confusing… Gah.

    I keep looking at this dress because I can’t for the life of me figure out what the hell the designer was trying to do…besides make her client look ridiculous.

  • ballerinawithagun

    Definitely needs the long skirt to balance the upper half.

  • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

    Good heavens, that’s an ugly dress.

  • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

    Good heavens, that’s an ugly dress.

  • Bill Curtis

    I’m getting Rorschach picnic basket from this one.

  • Bill Curtis

    I’m getting Rorschach picnic basket from this one.

  • MilaXX

    Tit wings are never a good idea and shorts ING this dress didn’t help. I don’t think this dress works off the runway.pp

    • KQ67

      I am really going to try to incorporate “tit wings” into conversation today.

  • TheLaurenJean

    It looks like a dress Miss Portman would have worn after the Black Swan came out.

  • Elias Pineda

    i think she looks good

  • belfebe

    It’s awful.  It doesn’t help that they cut it short.  It looks much better long as the model is wearing.  The proportions don’t look as awkward in that version. Still, that little puffy overskirt is not meant to be worn by actual human beings.

  • lrhoff

    It looks like a big magpie crashed up against her, like onto a windshield.  Hmmmm.  

  • GypsyHowell

    I don’t understand why JJ and Christina Hendricks don’t just hire Janie Bryant to do them up for the red carpet. They both always look amazing on the show. IRL, not so much. (Although I give JJ credit for trying interesting clothes.  Christina OTOH is just a train wreck pretty much every time. It makes a girl cry that she does so little with so, so much.)  

  • BazoDee

    Trying.too.hard

  • Monabel

    Not for anyone.

  • marilyn

    Long or short, it’s a dud.  The school marm hair doesn’t help.  Possibly, the only person I could see carrying this off is Jerry Hall, in her model/Mick Jagger days, with the long flowing hair and wacko shoes.  In other words, it’s club-wear not RC-wear.

  • Aurumgirl

    Yeesh.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Karen-Stephens-Bassett/1503492602 Karen Stephens Bassett

    This dress isn’t for anyone.  

  • Carla_Charlton

    Too much dress in any case, but at least when it was long, the length helped balance all the stuff going on at the top.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=49702581 Susan Bullard Mayer

    I like the sleeve-things.  But the peplum is horrible!

    OUT.

  • sleah_in_norcal

    two problems here.  1)  the dress is too small.  straining at the waist and too high waisted, and 2)  she should have kept the longer skirt.  the two horizontals of the peplum and the bust/shoulder treatment need that longer vertical to balance them.  keep that in mind, jj. 

  • lilazander

    I don’t think the dress would look that bad on her, had the awkward peplum wasn’t there.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1129137319 Paula Pertile

    wow that’s not, what, its … yeah, no.

  • NurseEllen

    God knows she’s trying, but she just can’t pull this one off.  And she needs a different hairstyle–there’s too much forehead going on there.

  • nosniveling

    my eyes, they burn!!

  • http://www.wordydoodles.com WordyDoodles

    For me, it’s not the bustline, which I thought unexpectedly brought out her eyes. It’s that terrible lampshade hung around her waist that I call shenanigans on. I wonder if having the floor length hem would have helped balance that more? She’s got the height to pull it off.

  • Joyce VG

    Egads woman!

  • choco

    Love the dress on the model. I think Jan could have done without the bottom ruffle on the short dress, but I like the bottom ruffle on the long one. 

  • fwooper

    Love the dress, love her makeup. She looks beautiful.

  • ErmengardeGreen

    Yeah, her HEAD looks great, and that has not always been the case with her RC appearances. Are those pants on the runway version? I’m going to pretend that they are, because I like that slightly bohemian resort-y quality for this look and would have been happy if she’d tried it. 

  • fwooper

     I will never understand why people say this. Janie Bryant is a costume designer, not a stylist. Why would they want to dress up like their characters in real life? They’re not the characters they play on the show, they’re real women with their own tastes.

    • fwooper

       This was supposed to be a reply to GypsyHowell’s post.

  • granddelusion

    I thought the bodice was ugly, then I scrolled down and it kept getting worse!

  • EEKstl

    This is how this would have worked for me: 1. Simple neckline 2. Ditch those “sleeves” 3. Have the peplum actually be the skirt and end slightly above the knee.  Then it would have been stunning.  As is, sorta ugly and a moth-esque, insect quality that unnerves me.

  • chitowndg

    I bet it looked better in person.  I like the longer version on the model – less horizontal lines than the shorter version.

  • BrooklynBomber

    Oh, my God. Tragic.

  • http://twitter.com/sillytwigg twigg

    she looks like a Black Swan.

  • http://twitter.com/connectinglines Me Again

    I think it’s awesome.  It’s out there and sort of avant-garde (not avant-garde by runway standards, but by red carpet standards, assuming you aren’t Gaga or Minaj), so I salute her for taking the challenge and still managing to look pretty.

  • holdmewhileimnaked

    i think you cant take a MK top & just pair it, nilly et willy, w/ some other skirt. it just will not do. i think thats the main problem here, even though it’s obvious JJ got MK to make the skirt specially for her. i think. unless it was part of another design from the same show. still, had she not stuffed even more foofaraw around the hem &, instead, gone w/ something plain at least until the floor began to seem a known quantity to the skirttail, this mightve worked.

  • ChristySchiff

    You know what?  I kind of like the dress.  I feel like if anyone can pull it off, it’s her – since we’ve seen so many complicated things from her in the past.  What I cannot is that hair.  That can’t be right for this, can it?

  • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gabriella M

    I think the peplum is worse than the boob detail, personally. 

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    I’m not sure that’s anyone’s look, but I do know pairing it with a short skirt completely wrecked the proportions. Yipe.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/PXT5CGWYYA46OIJC3UM7CTQO6A schuyler

    I actually think this looks rather good on her :P I think this length looks better than the runway version, the colours in the dress play nicely off her eyes and pale-ness, and the odd silhouette and neckline actually seem to benefit her, as it gives her more of an hourglass shape while also highlighting her angular features…are you sure this is isn’t just your hatred of peplums? The other bitter kittens seem exceptionally bitter over this…I wouldn’t say it’s a WERQ moment by any means, but it seems passable to me? Or am I  crazy X_x

  • http://twitter.com/BobbiNJ Bobbi

    I don’t think it is anyone’s dress. It is hideous.

  • Lina_bee

    She could have pulled it off with the long skirt, per the runway, but not with that short thing. I mean, it still would have been weird and unflattering, but less so.

  • unbornfawn

    Send it back! This dress is a disaster. Mirrors, starlets, mirrors, please use them.

  • http://twitter.com/amndad amanda lynn

    i give the gal credit – she’s got guts!

  • Juliana Illari

    I don’t think is anyones dress. 

  • Juliana Illari

    I don’t think is anyones dress. 

  • MmmmmmmmK

    It’s the updo that bothers me. Waaayyy too much forehead. Her exquisite features are reduced to a vague, Kathy Griffin-esque mediocrity. The hip-skirt is just frumpy.

  • http://twitter.com/Lily1129 Lily

    When is JJ going to learn that she is too vanilla to wear these interesting dresses? She is beautiful, but in a very streamlined way that does NOT compliment complicated clothing.
    I don’t care for the dress at all. It needs someone like Zoe Saldana to pull that off.

  • PeaceBang

    That peplum needs to be taken out and shot.

  • alyce1213

    Hideous.
    The designer should be taken out and shot with the dress.

  • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

    This is no one’s dress. This is the ugliest dress I have ever seen. Why?

  • Amy Ellinger

    take off the peplum and it’s actually pretty cool.

  • bellafigura1

    The way she’s holding her hands in front looks stiff and self-conscious.  I don’t think she likes the way she looks either!

  • guest2visits

    I think this is terrible dress, long or short. Looks like a large cat mask – deflated balloon. Bad idea.

  • ccm800

    just ugly. 

  • Lisa

    The problem is – NO dress is January Jones’ dress.  

    What is it about the women of “Mad Men”?  Both she and Christina Hendricks regularly look awful when left to their own devices.

  • kikisayshi

    Is this *anyone’s* dress? I count 5 different dresses that look to be sewn together to make this one. Too much going on!

  • RutGot

    When this post came up on my screen, I actually said, “oy, oy, oy” out loud to no one. That’s how bad this is. And I’m a big fan of Mary Katrantzou but not this one.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_26QG22FL4HVT7ZA46F4EE4UEXY amyw

    I hate peplums so much. Who thought they were a good idea and decided to hoist them unto the clothing wearing public???