Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Eva Green

Posted on May 09, 2012

We wanted to like this. In the thumbnails, we did like this. But once you get the whole picture, it kinda falls apart.

Eva Green attends the premiere of “Dark Shadows” in LA in Tom Ford.

Tom Ford Fall 2011 Collection

It’s a spectacular dress, no doubt about it. It’s also yet another beaded lace gown, which means that, unfortunately for Eva, T Lo has hit the wall on complimenting beaded lace gowns. Our main issue with this dress is that it looks so godawful heavy. If she wasn’t so covered up, the effect could be greatly reduced. Picture this gown with a lower neckline and cap sleeves and all the problems go away. When it comes down to it, we simply can’t look at a dress like this without automatically wondering how much she’s sweating underneath it and how heavy it must be to wear. She looks exhausted and worn out from the effort.

Eva, honey, you look best in soignee Halston-esque styles, like that InStyle UK spread you did. Pack this dress up and ship it off to Anne Hathaway, who has a talent for working heavy gowns. She’s got that ramrod-straight posture and apparently, she doesn’t sweat.


[Photo Credit: PR Photos, Getty]

    • Pants_are_a_must

      The hair and make up do not do her favors either.

      • VicD

        She looks dead in this color.  Not sure who she is playing in Dark Shadows, but this only works if she if one of the vampires.  Also, this seems way too formal for a daytime premiere.

        • Jessica O’Connell

           She is a vampire in the film but did she have to come in character to the premiere? This is bad… It’s also odd that the lining is so sheer that you can still see her bra. Not a good look.

        • Pants_are_a_must

           It is too formal for a daytime premiere. It’s not even meant to be seen in sunlight, considering how visible the lining color is.

      • NinaBoo

        I don’t know if it’s her makeup or just her face, but she always looks a bit deranged to me.  That super creepy British deranged, not plain ol’ batshit American crazy.

        • Jason M. Galloway

          As she is French perhaps it’s a crazy you have yet to imagine…

          • NinaBoo

            Thanks for setting me straight, Jason!

      • Ass Kicking Adviser

         Amen. Exactly what I was thinking. Softer hair and 6 pounds less of eye make-up certainly would have helped the heaviness issue. She is one of my favorites and here she looks like the Bride of Frankenstein.

        • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

          Agree 100%.  The hair is a mess!  And the eye makeup is way too much. 

      • Chrystyl

        You are so right.  At first glance on the TLo homepage I thought it was Marilyn Manson!

      • fungstyle

        exactly! i could deal with the dress but that eye makeup and severe yet sloppy hair just ruins any chance it ever had. 

      • TheVeryLivingEND

         She looks bloody tired.

    • margaret meyers

      The hair and makeup is SO BAD I cannot even see the dress.

      • Taija HU!

        It looks so amateurish. That is not good… I certainly hope she didn’t pay anyone to have her face look like that.

      • algaechick

        She looks like she tried to imitate the model…poorly.

      • YourLibrarian

        The makeup is just so… messy. Tragic.

    • Kiltdntiltd

      That is also not your hair, or your makeup. they are however, your shoes.

    • Sobaika Mirza

      The fit doesn’t seem too right, which is a big part of the problem. And the makeup is a bit garish.

    • Bill Curtis

      She’s serving up Drag Restaurant Hostess realness in that one.  I know I’ve seen that gown at Lips in NYC as I was asked, “How many in your party?”

      • Ginger

        Drag Restaurant?  Dear God I have been missing out!  If/when I ever make it to NYC, I’ll DEFINITELY have to check that out.  I suppose living in the sticks keeps one a bit sheltered, huh?

    • Judy_J

      It does look heavy, and the shoulders don’t fit.  Plus her hair and makeup are awful.  If she’s going to do the smokey eye, she needs a lighter touch with the eyeliner.

      • cluecat

        The eyeliner is kind of her thing.  She always wears it, even in a lot of her films/tv.

    • debra steinman

      It’s a beautiful dress, but one that should have been left on the hanger.

    • Wendy Kaufman

      Don’t mind the dress. Kinda like it, really, but WTF is up with those bust darts?

      • Kiltdntiltd

        I know!  Look at where they end on the model shot, versus where they end on Eva.  They’re a good 3 inches longer than they need to be, which is accounting for a good deal of the strange fit.  Its giving her major squashboob. Or at least the illusion of it.

    • MK03

      The dress is bad, but I’m more offended by THE HAIR. What a mess! Was it done in the limo on the way over??

    • Dr Skylaser

      The makeup is so awful, the dress looks fine by comparison!!

      • JulieJ

        I agree.  God help me the makeup looks a little like Wendy’s did at the beginning of her Project Runway season.  (the hair looks like mine when I am late for work)

    • Bridget Smith

      Oof, especially in LA in May. I think this would be a great gown for, say, New Year’s Eve in New York City.

      Also, how can it be THIS hard to get the make-up right on a woman THIS gorgeous?

    • SpcilK

      Gorgeous gown. It’s all wrong on her the hair, the accessories, the shoes just not her night.

    • Kevin VanOrd

      I think she looks lovely. This is by no means the awkward kind of look I expect to see in a “GTNYD” post. The fit is great and shows off her curves, and the bling is handled wonderfully, heavier at the neck, sleeves, and hem; it creates an interesting decorative shape that keeps the dress from being either too tacky, or too traditionally “starlet.”

      She neither looks exhausted nor worn out, and not once did I imagine how much she is sweating under that shimmering goddess dress. This is the first time I simply can’t get behind a “GTNYD” post; had this been an in-or-out, I would have voted “in.”

    • Eric Scheirer Stott

      The visible seams on the boobs do not help

    • Tadiana

      I don’t see this as a “Girl, That’s Not Your Dress” as much as I see it as a “Girl, Your Hair and Makeup Torpedoed This Look”. 

    • Taylor Cook

      Of course Anne Hathaway should wear it — she DID wear it, when she hosted the Oscars last year!

      • Sobaika Mirza

        You are absolutely right! Knew I’d seen this somewhere before.

        She also used stronger foundation garments it looks like, might have helped Eva out a bit.

      • Shreya Aren

        And she looked SO much better. 

        Case in point:

    • Pop Tarts Jen

      OH THAT MAKEUP AND HAIR! It makes my eyes bleed! 

    • Ceur

      This makeup artist needs to be fired. There is absolutely no excuse, even on a bad day. My 10 year old cousin does better eye makeup than this. 

      • Amy Ennis

        We need to start calling them out! Make up and hair by: Person who won’t work in this town again. 

    • Anathema_Device

      That gray/pewter color is awful on her. And her makeup is ridiculous.  She looks terrible.

    • lilibetp

      The darts are not in the right place, either.  Maybe because the girls are not in the right place.

    • hillmad

      Wow, Anne Hathaway really did own that dress when she wore it at the 2011 Oscars

    • sagecreek

      I like it, although she’s joined the “girl, you need a better bra” club. Lots of new members this week!

    • jfrancais

      She looks rather uncomfortable.

    • Amy Ennis

      That hair and make up comb is awful. Love the model’s look, which they obviously tried to copy with no luck. 

    • schadenfreudelicious

      if her makeup artist was attempting to make her look vampiric i would say they succeeded….

    • Laura

      What the hell with those breast seams? Weird. 

    • ringthing

      She also has that Elizabeth McGovern chin down head pose, which just makes all the heavy makeup look worse. 

    • IAmJ

      I LOVE this dress on the model, not on Eva. The makeup job is scary bad.

    • BayTampaBay

      This dress does no favors for her body.

    • getouttadodge

      Do not pass go; do not collect $200. Please return to your house and wrap yourself in bedsheets.

    • TieDye64

      Oooo, ouch. Not your hair and makeup either, dear.

    • BeeBeauNYC

      I actually love the dress on her – I think it’s spectacular. But I think the hair and makeup could have been done differently and made the look a lot lighter. 

      • carolynmo

        I agree. We must be the only ones who do like it.

    • padma s

      The way I see it, the dress isnt even a problem. It’s the hair and the make-up. They are godawful. And the make-up on her eyes, I just cant. 

    • Judy_S

      In the version on the model, there is a curved seam or extension of the darts which runs under the bust. On her version, there appear to be darts designed for someone who has very small breasts right under her chin.
      Aside from that weirdness in the dress, though, and against all the other commenters, I like her in this dress. Maybe with a different makeup and at a different sort of event…. but I just don’t see the sweat.

      • Sierra Delta

        I agree with everything you pointed out, Judy.  I haven’t seen Eva in much, so when I first glanced at my screen, I thought she was an oddly frozen-faced Stana Katic from “Castle.”

    • piecesofconfetti

      Girl that’s not your makeup :/

      • algaechick

        I don’t even think it’s Patty the daytime prostitute’s makeup. Or Bongo the mean clown’s makeup. Maybe one of Chloe Sevigny’s alter’s makeup.

    • Carla_Charlton

      And her hair and makeup aren’t helping the feeling that she must feel hot and disheveled.

    • MzzPants

      That eyeshadow is tragic.

    • Susi R

      The makeup is atrocious and the dress is so unflattering.

    • AnaRoW

      I think part of the reason it looks so heavy is that it’s dragging on the ground. It hits the model at the ankle. I agree with everyone about the makeup.

      • hac51

        Right.  The shorter length takes a lot of the ‘weightiness’ off of it. 

    • belfebe

      She has always had horrible hair and makeup.  I suspect that she does it herself.  Would it kill her to pay a real hair and makeup artist?  Really?  Maybe a stylist while she’s at it?  But the hair and makeup would help tremendously. 

      • Sobaika Mirza

        Definitely does her own makeup. I can’t imagine anyone was paid for that.

    • algaechick

      Just because she was at the Dark Shadows premiere does not mean she needs to take makeup tips from vampires, or Kristen Stewart.

    • Paula Pertile

      A beaded turtleneck dress made of lead! Maybe if it was a different color?

    • TheOriginalLulu

      This dress is gorgeous, but I have a problem with the fact that she’s wearing it in May. I’m not sure how the weather has been in LA lately, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t feel like December in New York, which is when I imagine this dress would be appropriate.
      You’re SO right that Anne Hathaway would look a zillion times better in this gown.

      Also, did she do her hair and makeup in the car on the way to the event? That shit is a mess.

    • slightlybitterkitten

      I think the hair and make-up are the problems.  Not the dress.

    • alyce1213

      Did something horrible happen to her?
      Poorly fitted dress, disheveled hair, nasty makeup, pickle face ???

    • reddhouston

      The eye makeup is killing me.

    • enid soto

      Fuck the dress, look at that TRAGIC make-up! She paid for this? my god.

    • Julie Chase

      The hair is crazeballs. And I know she can usually rock the hell out of a smokey eye but this was not one of those times.

    • EEKstl

      I LOVE that dress and would just consider it my workout for the day to wear it.  The sacrilege here is that makeup, quel horreur!  I know it’s the Dark Shadows premiere and everything but Vampire Junkie is more in line with True Blood.  The hair isn’t helping either.

    • holdmewhileimnaked

      i dont think it’s the dress; otoh, this may be cos i’m preternaturally disposed to believe tom ford cannot make a bad dress. ot-more-rational-hand, however, i think it’s cos all of the business above the dress is so poorly executed that it drags the dress down.

    • Gabriella M

      I like the dress and I even think it looks good on her, but for the unfortunately smudgy, heavy makeup. And I feel like this was a dress that desperately needed a pop of color somewhere to lighten it up. I’m going to say detailing mistake more than dress choice mistake. 


      clearly an homage to mars attacks 

    • Julaine Morley

      Surprised at no mention of her slightly frazzled hair and overly smudged eye shadow. The dress suffers from strange seams that oddly define her shoulders and slash through the titular area.

    • SKNAH Treasurer

      On first look I thought “I dont see nothing wrong with this” and then I saw the model and thought maybe Eva’s not wearing it right.  The model is WERQing it; Eva is merely wearing it.  It just seems dull in comparison.

    • erinbinek

      I like the dress but the hair and makeup are hideous.

    • up with pod people

      Wow, she looks like a little girl that got into her mother’s closet and makeup drawer. Worst smokey eye I’ve seen in yonks.

    • sockandaphone

      Also it says it was the LA premiere. Its been over 85F all this week around the area (maybe a bit cooler in LA) so Im just thinking goddamn, that musta been sweltering!

    • PaulaBerman

      This is going to sound mean, but my first thought was, “Girl, that’s not your face!” She look so pasty and sour that it distracted me from the dress.

    • Snailstsichr

      I looked at the picture and thought, “Girl, that’s not your makeup.” And apparently so did everyone else! 
      I only give it a pass because it is for Dark Shadows.

    • bluefish

      You are so right.  She looks dreadful from tip to toe. 

    • Sarah Winningham

      Anne Hathaway DID wear this dress, while hosting the Oscars. It didn’t look any better on her. At least it fits the Gothic vibe Eva is working for this film.

    • AlexisPayne

      I think she is an incredible looking woman but sometimes she does not photograph well. I don’t think the hair/make-up/smirk are helping.

    • Pupioso

      that is Elvira-Esq!

    • Sara Munoz

      Those bust seams. UGH.

    • TheOtherChristina

      Starlets of Earth: please stop copying the hair and makeup directly from the runway presentation of your dress, especially if you’re going to do such a terrible job of it.

      Maybe Angelina could make this dress work. And hey, gray is sort of a color, so that would be a nice change for her.

    • MilaXX

      What is up with the seeming on the boobs? It flattens her. The hair and makeup look too heavy for an already heavy looking dress. I’m assuming she was aiming for a pseudo goth look, but it just looks dark and uncomfortable.

    • kat89

      She looks kind of, um…undead…

    • ChaquitaPhilly

      The model with the over the top makeup and up-swoopy hair pulls it off but, then, she didn’t have to walk in it, did she?
      Maybe too much for “every day wear” even if it’s evening.

    • suzq

      I would say this is a horrible look, but SHE’S GOING TO THE DARK SHADOWS PREMIERE.  She fits right in.

      In, for me.

    •!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      I think it’s appropriate for a Dark Shadows event, but the visible seams is where it stops working for me.  Did they just photoshop them out for the model? 

      (Well, that and the posture. We can’t all be Anne Hathaway, if we could I’d be first in line.)

    • VicksieDo

      I love the gown, but her head is not making me happy…poofy hair and too much make up.

    • mochajava13

      This is such a fabulous dress, but she looks awful here!  It’s sad, because she could have worked the dress with some minor modifications – pull up the hem and have the neck of the dress be an inch or two lower.  She doesn’t have the neck to pull this off.

      And the hair and makeup?  They make her look flat out ugly.

    • Shinobi

      Goth Eye makeup fail makes goths sadder.  Lady you need to call in some goth reinforcements.  And get some frizz ease or something up in there.  I ADORE her, and this makes me sad.

    • Trisha26

      I love the dress, although the visible seaming/darting is horribly distracting. The problem for me is hair and makeup, although it does make her look suitably eerie/witchy. Based on Elisabeth Banks’s recent appearances in very Effie Trinket-like clothes, is this a thing now? To channel your movie character on the Red Carpet?

    • turtleemily

      The way she always wears her eye makeup bugs me. It’s always too heavy and makes her eyes look smaller.

    • birkatbaby

      didn’t Anne Hathaway wear this when she hosted the Oscars?

    • guest2visits

      It looks a little glossier in the model’s photo; and a little duller on Eva.   It feels a bit heavy and claustrophobic like the
      Kurkova gold gala gown.  It’s May in LA isn’t it ?  Too much for summer wear I think.  Pretty shoes though.

    • eight_of_nine

      I think it’s a bangin’ dress, but the obvious darts are making me cringe.

    • Jennifer Krumel

      Unfortunately, this sort of heavy dress tends to be par for the course for Eva. And the woman will stop wearing heavy eyeliner when you pry it from her cold dead fingers….So I can’t help but to love her. 

    • ThaliaMenninger

      I don’t know who Eva Green is. She clearly has a rockin’ bod, but this dress doesn’t make anything of it, just swathes her in gun-metal gray and clearly irritates her, since her face looks rode hard and put away wet. Because of the all the monochrome, I look right at her face and go, “GAH!! Back up! Back up! Baby Jane Hudson!”

    • GTrain

      Don’t care for it on the actress but damn, that model is fierce!!

    • MinAgain

      Gorgeous dress, terrible color for her.  Hair and eyes are a little harsh.

    • Lilak

      Eva’s gown seems to be suffering from the ‘light of day’ effect — not crazy about how the darts look, or even the shoulder seams.
      The thing would look great in a darkened, lit-for-atmosphere room, though.

      On the other hand, them’s some terrific shoes!

    • Monabel

      That wonky bust dart distracts me from the sleazy transparency.

    • Sorana Tarmu

      I loved her in Dreamers, but since Casino Royale she fashioned herself an obnoxious “know-it-al” smirk with which she seems unable to part. This is way too matronly for her. Go back to the baguette-carying-girl-French-chic, Eva! In the name of the Marseillaise!

    • Sophie Collier

      But for a Dark Shadows event, it’s perfect!  I think the dress is dandy, but her makeup looks horrible.  I think she wanted to go with a sort of Morticia Adams look but had her 14 year old niece do her makeup.  Yikes!

    • Sarah Adams

      It’s what Morticia would wear on one of her more upbeat days. Maybe. Now I have to figure out if that’s a compliment or not. 

    • quiltrx

      I feel bad that she’s so bland for me that I never recognize her from one picture to the next.  I’m assuming she’s in Dark Shadows, so maybe I’ll finally remember her.

      I love the dress, but her hair and makeup are really harsh.

      • cleep1000

        Exactly! The dress is gorgeous. It’s the too-high hair and crazy-lady eye make-up that are the problems.

    • mrspotts66

      it’s the perfect dress for a ‘dark shadows’ premier.  hair’s good.  eyes are…overdone in a live theater kind of way.

    • crash1212

      I love this dress and would kill – KILL I say – for those shoes. Don’t mind the hair, but the heavy eye make-up is a bit questionable. I think she looks great – something I don’t usually think when looking at pics of Ms. Green.

    • formerlyAnon

      Hair and make-up are worse than the dress.  Which would be better if the dress were less voluminous at the hem. I think.

    • demidaemon

      It’s the strange boob-seams that really bother me…

    • tsid2012

      Love the dress, “heavy” and all.  But girl, that’s not your hair.

    • mozzer0906

      Girl, that isn’t your eye make up either.  

    • marilyn

      I don’t care about the dress.  What happened to her hair and face?  For some reason, her hair being pulled in that style makes her face look squashed.  Her skin is pasty and she is wearing too much eye makeup.  What a mess.

    • KathKo

      I disagree, she totally looks like a supervillain alien Queen, plotting to take over the world with her piercing eyes and her smirk.
      I think she werquing it.

    • amanda crow

      I have no issues with the dress; in fact I like it. My only issues with her are, as others have said, her hair and makeup. Had those things been changed, I don’t think we would even be questioning the dress.

    • Mary Perkins

      Anne Hathaway actually already wore this dress! You guys know your stuff:

    • sleah_in_norcal

      eva, honey, you look scary.  best to be stroking on out of here prontito.  caption on the last photo should be “i’ll just be going now, you can forget you saw this.”

      the model, on the other hand, totally looks like a cone head. 

    • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

      The close up makes her look like Melissa Gilbert meets Bride of Frankenstein.  No.

    • OneTwoThreeFashion

      Terrible eye make-up

    • marilyn

      I have a problem with her hair and makeup.  She has small eyes, and close-in eyebrows.  She should not wear a heavy smoky eye.  It makes her eyes look beady.  It is all emphasized when her hair is pulled away from her face.  She has a fairly long forehead, which really emphasized her smoky (beady) eyes.  She is at her best when her hair is down and is around her face.  She is a gorgeous woman, and you would think her stylist would know all this.