Dita Von Teese (x2)

Posted on May 07, 2012

This is the story of two Ditas.

 

Dita Von Teese attends “Dita Von Teese” Signature Eau de Parfum Fragrance Launch Photocall in London in Hervé L. Leroux.

 

Good Dita…

 

Dita Von Teese attends Duftstars Awards 2012 in Berlin in Jean Paul Gaultier.

 

and Bad Dita.

 

Good Dita has creamy skin, ebony hair and red lips like Snow White.

Bad Dita takes her makeup tips from the Evil Queen.

 

Good Dita is surrounded by flowers and fragrance.

 

Bad Dita is surrounded by logos and leather.

 

Good Dita wears a lovely teal gown that shows off her delicious scoops of breast.

 

Bad Dita is one flick of the wrist away from showing you her cooch.

Bad Dita sounds like more fun but Good Dita would probably get you better service when you’re out together.

[Photo Credit: Away!, Landmark/PR Photos]

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  • ElitheMonkey

    Bad Dita looks like her boobs hurt. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/alexandra.pimenta Alexandra Gama Lima Pimenta

      And she’s probably really enjoying it. ‘Cause Bad Dita is kinky like that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=645508533 Diane Tarantino

    I love you guys. You always make me laugh!

  • http://theargiehome.blogspot.com/ Gus Casals

    Good Dita could also be taken to a premiere, a dinner or a ball. Bad Dita is headlining a NC17 burlesque somewhere..

    • http://twitter.com/yankeefoxtrot Alex McGeagh

      Well, that is her “day job” as it were. ;) Actually would very much like to see her show sometime! 

    • http://twitter.com/yankeefoxtrot Alex McGeagh

      Well, that is her “day job” as it were. ;) Actually would very much like to see her show sometime! 

  • Carla_Charlton

    Wow — she looks buff!

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    I love both iterations of Dita.  Good and Bad must exist together!  Actually, I cannot imagine anyone on earth being able to pull off that brown jersey number without looking insane.  Except, of course, for Miss Dita Von Teese.  Go Gurl!

    • ballerinawithagun

      Always fabulous!

    • SouthernGirlRena

      I am apparently one of the few people left on the planet who wishes the ladystars would leave more to the imagination but Holy Cow she looks awesome!

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        In a perfect universe, I would agree. Then again we ARE talking about a burlesque star.  How that woman maintains such perfect, tiny pored skin, of such perfect porcelain tone is mind boggling.  Spray make up?  I dunno.  We won’t find out until decades from now, when she is gone.

        • http://profiles.google.com/ameliaheartsu Amelia Logan

          There is such a thing as air brush make up. plus items like make up forever HD microfinishing powder and probably even fancier ones.

  • kikisayshi

    I don’t know how in the world she is always so flawless. Even when she’s Bad Dita.

  • kikisayshi

    I don’t know how in the world she is always so flawless. Even when she’s Bad Dita.

  • Sobaika Mirza

    Can’t even hate. I’d be wearing Bad Dita’s outfit too if I had that bod.

  • Sobaika Mirza

    Can’t even hate. I’d be wearing Bad Dita’s outfit too if I had that bod.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Josefina-Madariaga-Suárez/100002964685796 Josefina Madariaga Suárez

    I totally dig the Bad Dita outfit. Only she could make it work.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Josefina-Madariaga-Suárez/100002964685796 Josefina Madariaga Suárez

    I totally dig the Bad Dita outfit. Only she could make it work.

  • Rebecca Johnson

    Bad Dita happens when Good Dita gets wet.

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

       10 million Likes.

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

       10 million Likes.

  • Deac82

    I wish she would wear more hats.  Did you see her closet on Fashion Police this week?  That collection has got to be amazing.

    • Wellworn

      I love her so much more after seeing her closet and house on FP.  That was a great segment.  I want to go to go have pot pies and champagne at her house!

    • ballerinawithagun

      Speaking of hats…she would know exactly what to wear @ the Kentucky Derby!

    • http://www.GiftedCollector.com Nancy Abrams

      I wish they could have devoted the whole hour to her closet. And her convertible was cool, too.

  • Deac82

    I wish she would wear more hats.  Did you see her closet on Fashion Police this week?  That collection has got to be amazing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001637020912 Zula Khramov

    Hilarious! You made laugh so hard!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001637020912 Zula Khramov

    Hilarious! You made laugh so hard!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Linda-Ritchie-Unger/1497801615 Linda Ritchie Unger

    I just don’t think the brown dress is flattering – it minimizes her bust, thickens her waist, and eliminates her hipline entirely.  The color does nothing for her, either.

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      Precisely.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Linda-Ritchie-Unger/1497801615 Linda Ritchie Unger

    I just don’t think the brown dress is flattering – it minimizes her bust, thickens her waist, and eliminates her hipline entirely.  The color does nothing for her, either.

  • SpcilK

    You guys are too much!

  • SpcilK

    You guys are too much!

  • http://www.djplaw.com/ Tadiana

    Bad Dita is actually Good Dita’s evil twin sister, planning to off her and take over her privileged life with Prince Charming.   Little does she know that Good Dita has a wicked streak of her own.

  • http://www.djplaw.com/ Tadiana

    Bad Dita is actually Good Dita’s evil twin sister, planning to off her and take over her privileged life with Prince Charming.   Little does she know that Good Dita has a wicked streak of her own.

  • colleenjanel

    Perhaps it’s my screen, but I see no difference in makeup. Only difference I see is lighting, which I doubt she could control.

    • http://twitter.com/algaechick algaechick

      The same makeup, add a slight downturn of the chin, a look in the eyes that says “if you say I look less than fabulous I will cut you and not get any blood spatter on my fabulous dress or alabaster skin”, and parting of the lips, and Good Dita is instantly transformed.

    • http://twitter.com/algaechick algaechick

      The same makeup, add a slight downturn of the chin, a look in the eyes that says “if you say I look less than fabulous I will cut you and not get any blood spatter on my fabulous dress or alabaster skin”, and parting of the lips, and Good Dita is instantly transformed.

    • http://www.djplaw.com/ Tadiana

      I think I see a more accentuated cat eye on Bad Dita. 

  • colleenjanel

    Perhaps it’s my screen, but I see no difference in makeup. Only difference I see is lighting, which I doubt she could control.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

    It’s funny, the fact that I can see Bad Dita’s belly button seems… obscene, somehow.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

      That’s part of what makes Bad Dita bad.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

      That’s part of what makes Bad Dita bad.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

       No Spanx on this girl. no way.  Unless they are making them invisible now.

      • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

        If so, perhaps JLo should buy a pair.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ZMU2QQUTAUEPU23MUTZBQ5W2PI Peter

      I think revealing one’s belly button in a formal gown (or any sort of dress, really) always makes the garment seem kind of tawdry. There’s a reasonably classy way to bare one’s midriff, I suppose — but I don’t think it’s appropriate for formal events, even when one’s as unquestionably fabulous as Miss Dita. She’s probably one of the most beautiful celebrities I can think of and has an absolutely killer hourglass figure, but the second gown looks either cheap or costume-y to me (like Princess Leia’s slave costume was expanded into evening wear or something).

      • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

        Dita is one of my fashion superstars, but the brown dress is a misstep.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

    It’s funny, the fact that I can see Bad Dita’s belly button seems… obscene, somehow.

  • Clueless_Jock

    She’s a goddess. I want to be her slave.

  • Clueless_Jock

    She’s a goddess. I want to be her slave.

  • eme and azul

    I shall now refer to my decolletage as: My delicious scoops of breast!

    …and that is why I love you two!

    That teal gown is gorgeous! Dita is always put together, even if she (or her dress) is falling apart.

  • eme and azul

    I shall now refer to my decolletage as: My delicious scoops of breast!

    …and that is why I love you two!

    That teal gown is gorgeous! Dita is always put together, even if she (or her dress) is falling apart.

  • JasmineAM

    Bad Dita is KILLING that dress. Good Dita looks damn hot too!

  • JasmineAM

    Bad Dita is KILLING that dress. Good Dita looks damn hot too!

  • Rand Ortega

    Love both. Good Dita – bad (good bad). Bad  Dita- Good.

  • Rand Ortega

    Love both. Good Dita – bad (good bad). Bad  Dita- Good.

  • http://twitter.com/algaechick algaechick

    My daughter’s natural skin tone is like that, if she just stays out of the sun–I’ve tried to impress upon her it’s in her best interests for both health and beauty. I think I should just make a photo album for her of Ms. Teese, both Good and Bad (there is no ugly), because damn, her skin is amazing.

  • GorgeousThings

    And both Ditas are fabulous!

  • spooki C

    Love them both. Really liking that teal gown, fits her like a glove and that color is brilliant against her skin.

  • ChristySchiff

    Actually it’s just the color of that “bad” Dita dress that seems out of place.  What if that dress had been in teal – I think she could’ve pulled it off.  (But then, being in Burlesque, she can pull anything off!)

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EDI2DLE7DE3YPW2ONIHBWOVHMA ecallaw

       Huh, I didn’t think of that.  My first instinct was to hate Bad Dita, but I think you may be right!  I might actually even like it in a different color.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1313126032 Ajuna Ariel Fenty

    AND THIS IS THE EPITOME OF “WERQQQQQ” HOT DAMN WOMAN. LAWD HAM MERCY!!

  • Chaiaiai

    I feel like Bad Dita gets away with it because she’s in Berlin.  Not sure WHY that makes sense in my head.

    • littlemac8

      because of Joel Grey and Cabaret, old chum!!!!

      • Chaiaiai

        Must be;)

    • littlemac8

      because of Joel Grey and Cabaret, old chum!!!!

  • mjude

    she is so fascinating to me.  good & bad Dita…love

  • Susan Crawford

    The Yin and the Yang of Miss Dita: never may the twain be parted!

  • Snailstsichr

    That teal gown is just beyond gorgeous on her. For some reason the brown one reminds me of Victorian mourning pictures made with real hair. Crazy dress, but she is still slammin’.

  • jjfg

    I have a hard time believing there is a sexier woman out there than Dita.  Maybe AS sexy, but damn!  

  • jjfg

    I have a hard time believing there is a sexier woman out there than Dita.  Maybe AS sexy, but damn!  

  • Cathy S

    One of the best 2-outfit posts ever.

  • MilaXX

    sheesh that second is FUG-A-LEE!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1241487378 Lauren Lynch Fox

    wow, does she ever go out in the sun? Her skin is amazing!

  • BazoDee

    I am trying to understand the mechanics of the Bad Dita’s top. How is she not flashing us? How much tape is on that thing? But Damn that teal dress is a WERQ! 

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      remember, almost flashing us is her profession.

      • formerlyAnon

         And she (or her fitter/seamstress) is possibly an effing genius.

  • http://twitter.com/stopENtalk Brittany Johnstone

    I absolutely love both of them! Commentary is 100% on key as usual!

  • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

    I’m not a fan of cut-out dresses, but god that curve of hip is mouthwatering. She’s so stunning, Good or Bad.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EDI2DLE7DE3YPW2ONIHBWOVHMA ecallaw

    Yuck, Bad Dita is the worst Dita has ever looked.  She is usually perfection.  She looks unbelievable in the teal gown.

  • Lina_bee

    Bad Dita looks hilariously hungover. Also, that shade of brown is not her color, but it’s nice to see her in something besides the usual black and red.

  • TieDye64

    Oooo, that 2nd dress is BAD. Not good bad. Girl, that is not your color and be careful when you’re peeling off all that adhesive tape from that delicate, creamy white skin. Ouch.

    Drop dead gorgeous in the teal.

  • Nelliebelle1197

    How the HELL does she get her skin to look like that? She is not even human!

  • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

    service will definitely depend on the waitperson.  bad diva could certainly get a lot of attention in the right kind of place.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1253053236 Belle Burnett

    LOVE

  • MK03

    Good Dita’s dress is KILLER.

    Bad Dita’s dress looks like it could kill someone.

  • LinXGUA

    Bad Dita uses long gloves because she’s secretly a witch. JPG is her minion here.
    No, really, i don’t understand the long gloves (in leather, no less!.) I recognize that without them she would look under-dressed. But still, i just don’t get long gloves… for any attire or ocassion. Maybe for the Queen Mothe… Scratch that. Bad Dita, bad!

    Good Dita, you’re impeccable.

  • kim i

    any dita at all looks better than she has a right to, dammit.

  • http://twitter.com/jaythenerdkid Aaminah Khan

    Bad Dita is welcome to, uh, show me how bad she really is any time. *fans self*

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WMZHR7HFX7W6F2T7RYJKHLIZ44 Diane

    Both Ditas look amazing.

  • Pennymac

    HOLY CRAP!!! I love them both. This woman is amazing!

  • Laura Valentine

    I always assumed that Dita’s perfect shape under clothes was the result of structural foundation garments (along with natural assets and hard work, of course).  Bad Dita is clearly…not wearing structural foundation garments of any sort.  

    • cleep1000

      Yeah, where’d her boobs go in the second dress? But her waistline is naturally sexy, even without something sucking her in.

  • http://twitter.com/KathrynTewson Kathryn Tewson

    Good Dita makes me want to take a walk and get some air. Bad Dita? Uh, I’ll be in my bunk.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/HAQMGBW5IVA4JF3EBNH6763XFI Molly

     I was hoping one of them would be Dita Parlo.

  • PeaceBang

    Bad color on Bad Dita, but she’s still and always magical perfection. I hope society understands how lucky we are to have her.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/K3O2QNXDJIU3AJINAGNJRYWDZ4 mrspotts66

    i want to be Bad Dita.
    unfortunately, i’m more ginnifer goodwin at the derby.
    *sigh*

  • Stargatefan

    Bad Dita looks like six degrees of desperation to me…

  • greyhoundgirl

    Both Ditas look fabulous.

  • EEKstl

    Good Dita is breathtaking.  That color is to die on her.  Crazily, Bad Dita’s dress would work for me if it were Empire, the CrazyBodice ending right under the breasts and fell to the floor in a simple column of fabric.  That and ditch the Dominatrix Goes to the Opera Gloves.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F73LIJ3SJGI5AJQMXMWXCKILHI Pamela

    Maybe it’s me but the makeup looks the same in both outfits.  MAybe that 2nd dress made her look like an evil queen.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F73LIJ3SJGI5AJQMXMWXCKILHI Pamela

    Maybe it’s me but the makeup looks the same in both outfits.  MAybe that 2nd dress made her look like an evil queen.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_RHLSUVX3NCPB4OSS5BM7GZIXUE P. Capet

    love the bettie pageness of her

  • Caaro3

    I am in effing awe of Bad Dita! YGG!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=22917995 Nicole Renee

    If Bad Dita hadn’t exposed her belly-button, this might have worked out much better. In other news, how weird must her own leather be-gloved hand feel on her bare hip? 

  • formerlyAnon

    I am always whining about tacky vulgar red carpet clothing (or at least I feel I am, I try to keep it under control). But I must admit that my tentative conclusion – tentative because I haven’t seen a back view – is that whoever fitted Bad Dita’s dress on her is an effing genius. It looks scandalous as all heck, but it appears that she could perform any movement required in a normal dressy evening – walking, sitting, reaching out to shake a hand or take a drink, etc. – without showing an iota more skin than she is in her pose.

    If only more celebs could figure out how to make their expensive clothing fit AND work for the occasion. (I am thinking of YOU Ms. Cameron Diaz who was on some talk show a week or two ago and honestly didn’t go a solid 90 seconds – probably 45 seconds – during the ENTIRE segment without tugging or smoothing her too-short skirt. She was even fiddling with it as she walked in AND as she walked off. She looked more like she had some kind of restless hands disorder than as if her skirt was waaay too short.)

  • formerlyAnon

    Oh, and it is not fair of me, & is overly judgmental, (especially since I can’t step back and see the overall setting), but I’m not impressed with that floral wall before which Good Dita is posing. It looks neither meticulously designed nor charmingly casual, but more as if she paused in an over-crowded florist’s.

    • Corsetmaker

      The launch was in Liberty’s I think. So it could well be a florist’s display.

  • eight_of_nine

    Um.  I would like to invite both of them over tonight to introduce me to the ways of ladylove.  

  • Nonnah

    That teal dress is gorgeous.  Ladies take note:  that is how a dress should fit!

  • fiestyfashionfem

    Good or bad – I don’t care.  I just want to BE DITA.

  • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

    Good Dita knows how to pick a color.  That shade of teal looks amazing against her fair skin.

  • siriuslover

    I love that teal dress. I can’t even complain about Bad Dita because she’s one of the few people who could actually make that look work.

  • GTrain

    She is beyond fab.

  • Markatha

    The Woman is Such a Much…Love her!

  • Sophie Collier

    Unf, that body!  That “Bad” dress is hilarious, but I have to appreciate it for showing of that sexy hip of hers.  Rowr!

  • lucasuk82

    Too funny.  I saw these before, but I just realized Good Dita is wearing no jewelry – maybe the bottle is her accessory?  Smart.  Love the manicure, too.

  • http://twitter.com/stellaphone Stella Zawistowski

    Can I please have the two of them sit on my left and right shoulders, offering advice at critical moments?

  • golspie

    I don’t know what it is about her but somehow she seems to project the idea that when she’s not onstage she’s rather a boring woman.

  • quiltrx

    I would kill to be EITHER Dita.  Or BOTH Ditas.  She’s incredible.

  • http://twitter.com/LOfficielEbony TheVeryLivingEND

    How is she so thin and voluptuous at the same time?

    • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

      “Enhancements.”