Chloe Sevigny in NYC

Posted on May 22, 2012

People! Another Sevigny alter has been spotted!


Chloe Sevigny out and about in the East Village in NYC.

It’s Hansi, the slutty German tourist! Guten Tag!

Hansi is thrilled to finally be walking down the sunny streets of New York panty-free, in her shortest skirt and sexiest clogs. An avid sex tourist since she was in college, Hansi has been up and down all the major cities of Europe and Southeast Asia. Mostly down. Having gotten her fill in those parts of the world, Hansi knew it was time to tackle America, where she hopes to meet and fuck many rap and hip hop stars, as well as George Clooney, Angelina Jolie, and Justin Bieber. Having just arrived this morning, Hansi is taking it slow, sashaying through the East Village, enjoying the sun, and making lewd gestures with her tongue and fingers to passersby. This is a fairly standard outfit for Hansi, chosen because it allows for a variety of sexual acts without undoing so much as a button, which will come in handy when she finds herself having sex in: a bathroom stall, Central Park, the observatory of the Empire State Building, a McDonald’s in Midtown at 4 in the afternoon on a weekday, the lobby of the Plaza Hotel, behind wax figures of the Harry Potter cast at Madam Tussaud’s in Times Square, and in the back seat of Kanye’s limo.


[Photo Credit:]

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  • I think she looks cute.. 

    • Lisa Dugan

      I agree.  

    • Suspenders are underrated and unappreciated. They’re fabulous when worn correctly.

      • friedacarmen

        Mork, is that you?

        • No, it’s the Doctor.  He likes suspenders.  Suspenders are cool.

  • mom2ab

    OMG where did they find the last bolt of thatflowered  fabric from the Joyce Leslie collection of 1974?  I wonder if she bought the scooter dress too (you know the princess seamed one with the tie backs and matching panties?)

  • MoHub

    I might actually like this if the bottom was cuffed shorts instead of a gynoskirt.

  • TheLaurenJean

    Is it wrong that I think this is the best she’s ever looked?

  • She looks cute as hell! And also not pissed, dazed, or anything other than happy and healthy.

    • Totally, I think she looks cute and approachable instead of her usual “trying too hard”

      •  ick. make the skirt a bit longer and it might be okay. also if it fit more slouchy on the hips, the suspenders might be okay. and the clogs? I love me some clogs, but they are just way too heavy for the outfit.

      • Funny, first thing I said when I saw this was “she’s trying too hard.”

  • Ha ha ha 😀 “Hansi, the slutty German tourist.” I do live in Germany – but reading this I’m so glad that I’m not of German origin.

    • charlotte

       I am, but this is funny.

  • I LOVE YOU TWO. That is all. Now I’ll go clean up the coffee I spit all over my desk. Hansi. I die.

  • PastryGoddess

    Well bless her heart for trying.  Those 1994 clogs are driving me insane.  I hate hate hate those things.

  • God Bless Chloe and her 7, no wait 8 alter egos, I lost count after Caress? oh who the fuck cares we love her cause she’s just batshit crazy!

  • Little_Olive

    I was starting to experience Sevigny abstinence syndrome.  

    Bowing TF down to you, TLo.  

  • Boy, between this and the previous woman on the street starring Heidi Klum, it wasn’t a good day to be out celeb walking.

  • I do think the skirt needs to be a little longer but other than that, I think she looks really cute.

    • kimmeister

      Agree!  Somehow I can get past my burning hatred of clogs because she’s somehow making them work.

  • In_Stitches

    That’s some 90’s fabulousness.   On a regular girl walking down the street, I’d laugh, but she’s owning it.

  • filmcricket

    The Sev does have gorgeous gams, there’s no question about that. A question about this: do we need to see all of them to know that?

    Otherwise, she looks pretty cute. Very 90s, but I have a soft spot for that decade, so.

  • TAGinMO

    “Mostly down.”


  • RzYoung

    Who stole her belly button?!

  • belfebe

    You guys crack me up…

  • Anathema_Device

    I just made an unholy collection of noises trying to stifle my guffaws while reading this at the pediatric dentist office waiting room.

    Bless you two bitches. This was hilarious.

    Outifit isn’t her worst, and she looks genuinely happy here, so there’s that.

  • Lina_bee

    *shudder* There is no good here.

    • Spicytomato1

      I agree. And I think the only solution for her wretched hairstyle is to cover it completely or shave it off and start from scratch.

  • Judy_J

    I remain in awe of your outstanding cleverness.

  • I love the Sevigny alter posts, but I do think she looks adorable in this. Perhaps a smile and a lucid expression are the best accessories for all her many personalities.

    • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

      Agreed.  I usually can’t stand this girl, but she looks happy and healthy and cute.  Also, I love the clogs!

  • Holy crap.  I totally tried to leave the house wearing this EXACT OUTFIT in about ’94.  I may have added a choker to round things out, though.  My mother laughed hysterically and told me to get my ass back in the house.  I came back out and handed her a pic of herself from the ’70s and sashayed off down the street…  Man, I was a little shit.

    • JasmineAM

      As soon as I saw her I thought she looked so 90s-typical girl.

  • MilaXX

    Love the Seveigny alters!

  • sherrietee

    God help me but I think this is cute (provided she just stays upright).

  • nancylee61

    You know, the best thing about NY is that no one pays attention to celebrities except the occasional photographer. No one is even looking at her in her slutty outfit. LOL!

  • Bozhi

    Those suspenders are weird, but she does have a good body, not great, but very good.  She could probably look really attractive if she tried.

  • The degree of technical difficulty involved in sitting down or bending over or picking something up from the ground in this skirt – without exposing yourself – is quite high. I don’t think even Hansi could pull it off!

  • Jessica O’Connell

    Oh man, I hadn’t realized how much I missed her alter-ego posts until a new one was posted. Thank you. LOOOVE IT. “…mostly down” teehee.

  • DeborahJozayt

    And poor Hermione won’t be able to look away….

  • DaveUWSNYC

    Carmella Soprano on ecstacy

  • Sara__B

    I love your clever, snarky Chloe posts above all others, even though Chloe looks cute and normal here — as long as she is, in fact, wearing panties. Thanks for the laugh!

  • friedacarmen

    OMG you guys, this is pretty much the funniest thing I’ve ever read!  I love you both so much!  Thank you for existing and for sharing Chloe’s alters with us.
    Someone needs to make a “United States of Sevigny” series.

  • friedacarmen

    P.S. Can you please post about Chloe every single day??  That would be orgasmic.  Thanks.

  • BrooklynBomber

    You kill.

  • jsimon523

    As someone who graduated high school in 1995, let me tell you – I wore many, many outfits that looked like this. However, they stayed in the 90s….

  • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

    Yessss!  The Sev!  Thank you TLO, she is about my favorite celebrity.

  • T and Lo, I would like a Chloe Sevigny family tree guide (or a bubble map at the very least) of her personalities. I can’t keep up. Thanks! 😉

  • MsKitty

    I think it’s a cute look on her, but your commentary is still priceless. Ha.

  • SewingSiren

    Hansi needs to skip down to Florida and do it in one of those port-a-pots that have a timer so the door pops open after you’ve been in there too long. It’s supposed to discourage encounters, but I think Hansi would enjoy the challenge.

  • This literally looks like something she would have worn in Sassy Magazine, then kept in her closet for 20 years.

  • jennifervney

    She does love those clogs, doesn’t she? Comedy gold as usual boys!

  • VioletFem

    Oh my god, I live for these Chloe Sevigny posts. Are you guys aware of Drew Droege’s interpretation of Chloe? He is the best (and probably only) Chloe Sevigny impersonator.

  • I always look forward to your Chloe Sevigny posts, TLo! This did not disappoint <3

  • BeeBeauNYC

    Thank you for that – that was a riot to read!

  • I never realized that she has a great smile, too bad all we see on th RC is the homely face

  • This is actually quite quite…for Chloe/Hansi.  Minus the clogs. 

  • cmb92191

    Just call me Liesl, (Hansi’s cousin) because I have the same clogs!   She looks happy and cute.  Suspenders are an accesory that is underappreciated.

  • giiiirrrr

    God, I hope the lack of underwear thing is just made up.  Shudder.  Otherwise, hilarity.  I love that Hansi is bisexual – it makes the laundry list of potential “meet-and-fuck”s really awesome.

  • bluefish

    She looks normal late 70s.    And cute.

  • Her sexcapades are just nasty sounding. 

  • I love this. This outfit cuts a cutie little silhouette- for Hansi. I’d also like to add that Hansi probably rolls her own cigarettes and will couch surf her way across America. Non?

  • MsMajestyk

     I don’t mind the suspenders, but it’s driving me a little crazy that they look like the button-on type with clips attached to the ends.  Maybe they are a thing of which I’m unaware.  Hope she’s doing nothing more than standing or walking in that beaver length skirt. 

    A head scarf would have helped that mop.  Yes, it would’ve taken her more in to Taxi Driver territory, but there ain’t no turning back in this getup.

  • Louise Bryan

    I really hoping that’s a skort.

  • AWS

    She is the Tilda Swinton of America…

  • AWS

    She is the Tilda Swinton of America…

  • IAmJ

    Okay, this is easily my favorite Sevigny alter write-up. T&Lo, you keep getting cooler and cooler.
    I’ll gladly pay some dollars for anything and everything you guys publish.

  • LOVE.

  • BigShamu

    We need a post listing just for Sevigny Alters.  Perhaps she’s start a line of clothing by the same name.

  • TieDye64

    Oh dear God, you guys may have topped yourselves here. I ADORE your Chloe posts, but this one slayed me. Cannot tell you how I appreciate the laugh. Many thanks T and Lo.

  • All I saw was “Chloe Sevigny in NYC” at the bottom of the last page and my first thought was: OMG, who is she today. 

    You’ve trained me well, TLo.

  • I get the distinct impression that there’s a story behind “a McDonald’s in Midtown at 4 in the afternoon on a weekday?”

    Am wondering also how many alter-egos Miss Sevigny may have …

  • Wow. Your description turned what I originally saw as a really dorky throwback to the 90s into something truly gross. I can’t look at that outfit without feeling slightly revolted, which is truly a testament to your evocative writing style, gentlemen. 

    Ja, Herr Kanye! Ja! Schneller! D:

  • cleep1000

    I hope to God she is wearing panties. But you gotta admit, she’s got great gams for a gal her age.

  • Long time reader, first time commenter. I love a good Chloe alter ego post, but this may be my favorite to date.

  • butter nut

    bringin’ back the ’90s! werq those clogs, hansi!

  • lilazander

    God, she desperate, YUCK!

  • Wellworn

    Such comedy goodness.  She looks cute though.  If she were doing a sex tour in my town, I would do her.

  • Laura Valentine

    I think this is the first or second time I’ve seen pics of C.Sev and not been all I HATE HER FACE RAR.  She looks so cazh and happy that I can’t hate her face!

  • Zippypie

    Bwahahahahahahahaha!  You bad boys!

    • calimon

      I’m convinced they must be on a good Mojito fueled roll with some of their recent posts.

  • You guys are true stars. Thanks for the belly laugh!

  • You guys are true stars. Thanks for the belly laugh!

  • enchanted216

    This is ridiculous. Admit it.  If you saw her walking down the street, you would make fun of her behind her back.  Even more ridiculous, I had to Google her to learn who she was.  Fashion icon?  Um….NO.  There is no occasion for which this is appropriate.  It’s like she is a cyborg who just arrived (naked) in 1984 and had to kill some girl in a cowboy bar for her clothes.

  • carpediva

    Her legs look fantastic.

  • LambeeBaby

    I am not making eye contact with her.

  • guest2visits

    Cheap, groady, messy, juvenile….. awful.      But TLo’s editorial: priceless.

  • quiltrx

    Well done, gentlemen.  A fellow snarker bows to your excellence.

    (and I like the clogs!)

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    OOH that is so mean.  I think she looks happy and fresh and normal – albeit with a short short skirt – and OK it’s a little Ellie Mae Clampett, but I love her.  I just do. 

  • golspie

    I think she looks pretty good – and pretty sexy too. it’s not fashion but she wears it well anyway.

  • Call me Bee

    No lie–I have clogs exactly like that–they are huge here in Scandinavia West (Wisconsin and Minnesota.)  Not wearing them with a tiny skirt, though. 
     Anyway–she does look cute, but so inappropriate for walking down a city street.  It’s a look for hanging around up there by the lake. 

  • She’s too old for that skirt. Not that it doesn’t look good, but toned legs are harder to achieve w/o a lot of work as one gets older, and she isn’t focused on working out. She should, then she wouldn’t look so ridiculous in her short skirts. 

  • Susan Crawford

    It has come to my attention that Chloe in this outfit is morphing into Mischa Barton.

  • boomchicabowwow

    You guys really need to print and bind all your Chloe Sevigny “alters” posts and gift them to her.  I bet she’d pee her pants laughing…or at least Hansi would.