Darlings, it was, as the title says, the Los Angeles premiere of that ridiculous Battleship movie. We’re sorry; we saw the trailers for this thing in the theater and it’s essentially: a hyperactive 8-year-old boy, playing in the bathtub, with a 200 million dollar budget. Not something we’re inclined to spend 25 bucks seeing.
So let’s offer bitchy, one-line opinions on their clothes! Okay, two lines. Maybe three.
Brooklyn Decker in Christian Dior
A) Enough with the pale blondes in white, stylists, and
B) If you think we hated sheer skirts over minis, just wait until the sheer-skirts-over-ruffled-diaper-covers trend takes off.
Alexander Skarsgard in Tom Ford
Is that a tie or a table runner? Whatever it is, we wish it wasn’t grey. The suit’s a bit snug on him, but since he comes from the Land of the Giants, we suppose we should give him a little leeway. No, fuck that. He can afford tailoring.
Malin Akerman in Cushnie et Ochs
Between the neckline and the shoes, our eyes don’t know where to go. They really don’t go with this dress.
Was he packed in a case and shipped there? How did his sleeves get that wrinkled?
Rihanna in Adam Selman
We hate the hair and makeup, but at least she’s bringing the glam to a red carpet that sorely needs it.
[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans, David Gabber, Emiley Schweich, Glenn Harris, Izumi Hasegawa, Tina Gill/PR Photos]