2012 Billboard Music Awards Red Carpet

Posted on May 21, 2012

Let’s take a break from ripping celebrities on the Riviera so we can rip on celebrities at a good old fashioned American awards show, shall we, kittens?

Hit it, fame hos:

 

Alicia Keys in Azzedine Alaïa

 It’s an okay dress. Not really loving the hair and we can’t help thinking she needs more dramatic eye makeup.

 

Amber Rose

You know what would make this look really work for us? If the skirt had sequined letters that spelled out “I HAVE NO UNDERSTANDING OF PROPORTION.”

 

Brandy Norwood in Hervé Léger by Max Azria

 Love the hair, but those shoes were a bridge too far, Pocahontas.

 

Chrissy Teigen in Georges Chakra 

 Isn’t it time to take the concept of the folded-napkin cocktail dress into an alleyway to pop a cap in its ass for good?

 

Jordin Sparks in Diane von Furstenberg

 Boring.

Although she certainly looks excited.

 

Julianne Hough in Kaufmanfranco

JESUS CHRIST. We’ve been ripping on Aniston for YEARS for wearing what we characterized as sequined bath towels, but this is the first time we’ve encountered anyone willing to actually go out in a sequined bath towel.

Have some dignity, honey.

 

Julie Bowden in Doo. Ri.

Yikes. We realize this picture’s not very flattering, but that clearly isn’t the dress for her. And those shoes clearly belong on a six-foot-five drag queen with size 13 feet.

 

Katy Perry in Blumarine

 Enh. We’d like this a lot more if it wasn’t in such a prom-y, bridesmaid-y color.

 

Kerli

 Well all right, then. Personally, we wouldn’t have recommended matching the teddy bears to the caterpillar on her shoulder, but that’s just us. Boring traditionalists.

 

Lisa Marie Presley in Temperley London (dress)/Alexander McQueen (jacket)

 That skirt’s just plain weird.

 

Natasha Bedingfield

Pretty color. There’s a bit too much going in the bodice, but this dress suits her better than the other dress she wore last night.

And have you seen our Whiteboard? Check it out.

 

Nelly Furtado in Alberta Ferretti

There is WAY too much going on around her boobs there. And this dress does not flatter her shape in the slightest.

Taylor Swift in Elie Saab

Credit where it’s due: we still can’t stand the sight of her and she makes our teeth ache, but she looks chic and sophisticated here.

 

Zooey Deschanel in Moschino

Again with the black tights. Zooey: they don’t go with everything. And they sure as hell don’t go with this dress, which is kind of cute.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos]

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