Revenge S1E18: Justice

Posted on April 26, 2012

These past two episodes have nicely illustrated that Hamptons Batman doesn’t just make plans or make faces at her enemies; when it gets right down to it, she can be positively brutal to bad people who get in her way. Unfortunately, last night’s episode ended on Emily’s shocked face as she shockingly discovered something shocking. “How did I not know this?”

Well, yeah, Ems. How did you not know this?

Because really, after everything the Graysons did to you and your father, you’re actually shocked that they were involved in his death? Were we the only ones who assumed that all along? Isn’t this kinda why you’ve gone to such great lengths to get your REVENGE on them?

And isn’t it time we all started talking about David Clarke and the fact that we’ve never seen a body, nor, as far as we know, has Emily? Come now; we can’t be the only ones thinking he’ll walk back into that beach house at the least opportune moment possible, can we? Yes, the creators have said that’s never going to happen, but they’d have very good reasons to lie about that, wouldn’t they?

But we digress.

We were damn impressed with Emily’s proven-many-times-over-but-still-thrilling-every-time ability to make a few slight adjustments in the lives of people around her to get events to shake out exactly how she wants them to – and that she’s always, in perfect Hamptons Batman manner, thinking ahead. Like everyone else, we had no idea why she took an impression of brush-headed thug’s car key last week. And like Nolan, we were shocked that she used it to frame him for Tyler’s murder. That’s some hard-core revenging shit right there. Nolan has always been the Robin to her Batman, but we suspect at some point he’s going to be revolted by the extent of her scheming and … well, revolt.

But can we talk about Jack for a second? So-dumb-it’s-amazing-he-can-breathe Jack? Why, exactly, would the little sailing bartender hold on to that frigging hoodie? Is it a souvenir to him; something to remember that magic night when he found his batshit-crazy stripper girlfriend standing over a bloody corpse just before she disappeared? The show always tries to dangle the idea that Emily’s heart really belongs to the childhood friend whose only real talent seems to be keeping dogs alive years past their expiration date, but we have to say, we’d be mighty disappointed to see her wind up with him. It’s never fun to watch a devastatingly smart woman fall for a man who can barely walk in a straight line without starting a fire or falling into a well. Still, it was nice to see various people react to the news that he held on to the most damning bit of evidence since O.J.’s glove. When even Declan reacts to the news like he’s never heard anything so stupid in his life, you’ve got to admire the breathtaking idiocy of it. Can’t Emily just get Revenge Sensei to put Jack and Fauxmanda on an ice floe somewhere? Those two have done enough fucking up of Hamptons Batman’s plans. Time to tie them up and mail them somewhere far away. Granted, this assumes that Revenge Sensei hasn’t already killed Fauxmanda for annoying the shit out of him.

Not that Daniel’s not wallowing in his own special brand of moronhood. But hey, apparently his superpower is that, when he drinks, his eyesight becomes superhuman and the view to Emily’s front door from his house no longer requires binoculars.

What we like about this story is that at any time, the balance of power can shift and Emily will find herself faced with a new Revengenemy. Last night, it was Conrad’s turn to whip out his dick and slap everyone across the face with it, reminding them all that he’s still Bastard Number One around these parts and that even the mighty Victoria Grayson can be brought to heel by his machinations. But isn’t it time we all had the discussion that Victoria isn’t exactly the mastermind she makes herself out to be? Her schemes tend to be violent and frantic, with the stench of desperation about them – and all too often, they wind up putting her family in an even worse predicament. Plus she’s emotionally fragile and needy in a way Emily and Conrad aren’t, and the story goes out of its way to occasionally make you feel, against your better judgment, a little sorry for her. She’s definitely formidable and frightening as an enemy, but it’s become clear that the real enemy of Emily Thorne is Conrad Grayson, someone she just hasn’t been paying enough attention to because she spends too much time having staring contests with his wife. Going after him in a big way will be her major challenge going forward and we look forward to seeing her square off against him; especially since, unlike Victoria, he doesn’t seem to have the slightest suspicions about her.

And is the case of Tyler’s murder really closed now? One prison suicide note and everything against Daniel gets tossed out the window?

In other news, is it bad that we’re kind of impatiently waiting for Charlotte’s suicide attempt? We’re practically standing over her bed, tapping our feet in indignation. Really, we just want to see Declan cry. We’re thinking it must sound like a water buffalo stuck in mud.

Oh, and Victoria? He really was a shitty artist, you know. You should have slapped him for making you look like you had a receding hairline. Still, we LOVE your winter wardrobe, girl!


[Photo Credit: ABC]

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  • Akh621

    As far as the “how did I not know this” I took that to mean that she DID think that but had “researched” it so thoroughly and talked to so many people that she was eventually convinced it really was just a prison yard fight, as opposed to never having thought it might be the Grayson’s

    • basically what I thought too. That she’d been convinced otherwise because she never found any proof of her suspicions.

    • H3ff

      Exactly. I loved the shock she portrayed when she said that.

  • PastryGoddess

    “water buffalo stuck in mud”  God I love you TLo

    • NinaBoo

      It burns to shoot Diet Coke out one’s nose.  That line is an instant classic.

      • It’s cold in Argentina… so, soup. Not cool TLo, not cool.

  • Sobaika Mirza

    I was pleasantly surprised at Conrad – here I was thinking all the men on the show (except Nolan) were extra foolish.

    But I find Ashley most annoying of all. Figure out something to do or GO AWAY.

    • I still think Ashley will figure in somehow. For example, her parents died in the flight the terrorists took out, and now she has her own revenge scheme. She may be working parallel lines with Emily.

      • Was this confirmed? That her parents died in the flight.

        I kind of like the idea of Ashley just as a normal Hamptons social climbing schemer.

    • NinaBoo

      Maybe she and Conrad are in cahoots…

  • fiestyfashionfem

    I give, I give, I give!  Your recaps have done me in.  I’m now watching – just started last week.  And I LOVE IT!!!!  Like Lace, remember that one?? Phoebe Cates! Thank you TLo.

    • GenXcellent

      Lace!  I’d almost forgotten about that. That one was fantastic!

    • YolandaHawkins

      OMG Lace!  “Incidently, which one of you bitches is my mother?”  One of the most fabulous lines in television history!

      • frances rossi

        Television history? It was the first line in the Novel! I loved Lace too!

        • YolandaHawkins

          For those who saw the miniseries versus having read the novel, it was an awesome line any which way you look at it.

  • I totally have the same suspicion about not seeing David Clarke’s body…and what about Emily’s mother? Has there been any mention of her? I am waiting for her to appear, too…

    • Sobaika Mirza

      Yes – I’m very curious about Mama Clarke.

  • JosephLamour

    Re: the paintings, when he was like “What do you think?” I immediately said “Its terrible.”

    • MissAnnieRN

      seriously – that was supposed to be her?  She looked like the missing link in it.

  • sound like a water buffalo stuck i mud, i lol’ed, hard.

  • I was so excited to see what winter wear Emily and Victoria would break out…I was not disappointed! I also like Em’s hair a little bit longer.

  • “It’s never fun to watch a devastatingly smart woman fall for man who can barely walk in a straight line without starting a fire or falling into a well.” <—- why I love these recaps almost more than the actual show.

    I was also thinking that it is VERY probable that David Clarke is alive. How could the lack of a body not be discussed? Did Emily go to his funeral and see his corpse? Have they talked about that on the show? It's a campy drama after all. Dead people ALWAYS come back.

    • MissAnnieRN

      he definitely won’t be back before this season is out.  Afterall, if they want this to be a multiseason drama and not a miniseries, they’re going to have to keep milking the high camp for all it’s worth.

    • Celandine1

      It happened before Emily  was released from juvie. I thought I  heard someone mention that he  was cremated, which  sounded a little to convient if the writers decide at some point that he isn’t dead. “..falling down a well” omg that made my day.

  • I was thinking the SAME thing last night! Did she have cancer or something? Isn’t there some crazy aunt or uncle or cousin out there? SOMEONE has got to recognize her that Emily hasn’t thought of yet.

    • CarolinLA

      Like David Clarke’s favorite aunt, Charlotte, maybe?

  • NinaBoo

    Jack and Daniel are so bloody stupid, it hurts.  Right here.  Between my eyes.

  • Little_Olive

    Superb review. I am hoping that the Nolan thing turns out to be good for Batman and Robin… I’m very fond of him and his assistance. If not, we can expect major backlash on Emily.

    I am also glad they are toning down the yellowness in Em’s hair.   

  • MissAnnieRN

    ” Really, we just want to see Declan cry. We’re thinking it must sound like a water buffalo stuck in mud.”

    BAHAHAHA!  Laughed loud enough that I scared the dog.  

  • Kristin McNamara

    great recap, as usual. but i’m sorry, is nobody EVER going to address how quickly the people on Revenge are able to magically
    transport themselves between montauk and manhattan………. it’s a 2
    and a half hour drive, people. you can’t just go flitting back and forth
    five times in one day!

    • lilibetp

      They’re really rich – maybe they have helicopters.

  • If you are going to have the man you framed killed in prison, why on God’s green earth would you wait ten years to do it? Why not just have him offed right after the guilty verdict so he doesn’t have time to for a lawyer who believes that he is innocent.

    But then, we never got a reasonable explanation for why Emily would keep the infinity box under her floorboards instead in a safe deposit box. I’m thinking they both stem from the dreaded “it’s stupid but we need to do it for the plot” excuse. 

    • Little_Olive

      Oh, the box, gun and general lack of keys drives me crazy that way -it so does not make sense. I though the sensei would say something! 

    • adnama79

      I have less of a problem with the box under the floorboards than I do with all the giant red x’s in the box.

  • Reply to Kristin on how the magic transport between Manhattan and Montouk works: They are all filthy rich and have their own private Lear jets on standby.

    • Kristin McNamara

      but it’s still 120 miles! even on a jet, it’d probably take close to an hour each way, don’t you think? (not far to go means can’t fly as high means can’t go as fast..) and that’s still much more time than i feel the show is implying haha

      • Celandine1

        It’s just over 100 miles between the Sacramento and San Francisco international airports and the actual flight time is about 20 minutes, I flew it a lot for connecting business flights at one time. The 1% don’t have to schlep through security, check bags, and wait in seeming endless boarding lines. Some might also have private helipads on the rooftops of their city apartments.

        •  Helicopters. There’s are lots of helipads. Saw one in Law & Order

      • adnama79

         It’s only about 45 minutes to fly Dallas to Austin, on a commercial flight, and that’s 200 miles.  So private planes and helicopters undoubtedly could do the Manhatten/Montauk flight quickly.

        • adnama79

          I tried to delete this comment and instead marked it “guest” and now can’t delete it.  ‘Fessing up to both being redundant/pedantic and apparently also technologically clumsy.  Sorry, Kristin, for multiple responses from me on your comment…

    • Yes, and remember the episode when Nolan went to NYC to spy on Conrad – that was by chopper!

    • adnama79

      Unlikely but possible.

      With a private helicopter, no need to wait for the public one. 

  • marienabend

    Well, one prison suicide note and the bloody hoody was found in his car. It’s pretty good evidence.

    • HannaH29

       And really, all you need to acquit is reasonable doubt. Someone else being found with a bloody hoody and then confessing to the crime is definitely reasonable doubt.

      • adnama79

        It sounded like they aren’t talking acquittal, but throwing the whole thing out entirely.

    • annieanne

      Of course, nobody stops to ask why he’d have the bloody hoody in his car more than two months after the murder.

      • CarolinLA

        Cops and prosecutors know that criminals are dumb.

        • adnama79

          Whatever.  “Amber Alert?”  Seriously?  Those are reserved for children and the elderly, not hoodies…

  • How did I know that you would comment on Victoria’s wardrobe (but that white coat was fabulous right?!). 

    In our recap we commented on how surprisingly dumb Emily is for not having considered this – or the fact that her papa is still alive. As a few other people have said, though, this isn’t exactly game-changer news. What is she going to do: exact EVEN MORE revenge?

    Loved the line about Jack’s inability to walk without starting a fire or falling into a well. 🙂

  • lilibetp

    “Yes, the creators have said that’s never going to happen, but they’d have very good reasons to lie about that, wouldn’t they?”

    Remember when the Lost creators said, “Oh, no.  They’re not dead and in limbo.  It’s nothing like that.”?

    • Laura Maki

       They weren’t dead or in limbo on the island. The flash sideways was really a flash forwards to a time when they were all dead. Kate from whatever happened off island (old age? death penalty for keeping on being a criminal?), Jack after Vincent came by, etc. But they were dead and in limbo in the other timeline…this will sound totally off to someone who has never seen the show. The question was if the island was purgatory, and it wasn’t! So they didn’t lie. I am a total Lost apologist.

      • turtleemily

        Thanks for typing that out since I didn’t have to. 😛

        More appropriate would be: Remember when the Lost writers said they would never, ever kill Charlie?

  • YolandaHawkins

    May I say, the final paragraph had me laughing aloud.  And yes, Vicky Harper has a fantastic winter wardrobe!

  • Redlanta

      “So-dumb-it’s-amazing-he-can-breathe Jack?”  You guys are truly fabulous!  One thing about this show- they don’t drag out storylines.  And yes, I have always said David is still alive somewhere.   Nolan is his pawn in trying to get Amanda to live an authentic life.  Watch him appear just to be the “big death” at the end of the season.

  • Spicytomato1

    “The show always tries to dangle the idea that Emily’s heart really belongs to the childhood friend whose only real talent seems to be keeping dogs alive years past their expiration date, but we have to say, we’d be mighty disappointed to see her wind up with him.”

    Lol, and I agree. If the show really is trying to sell this pairing, they’re going about it in the wrong way because I really have never bought them as destined to be together. In fact I’ve always thought she and Daniel have better chemistry. It just doesn’t seem like a strong triangle, or even much of a triangle at all. I think back to Lost and Kate & Jack vs. Kate & Sawyer. Now that was a triangle that I could get really worked up about.

  • BEST REVIEW EVER!  Still giggling!

  • Those paintings were straight up UGLY! *shudders*

  • oohsparkley!

    Great recap!  I love Revenge and Tlo.  I like Jack and Emanda, but he sure is dumb as a box of rocks.  I thought his baggie of bloody sweatshirt was funny – so neatly folded.  I would have stuffed it in a Target bag and stuck it in someone elses garbage and I am far from a criminal mastermind either.  Did he want to frame his girlfriend later?  On another topic – “receding hairline” too funny!!  I also thought he was a lousy painter.

  • annieanne

    Still, we LOVE your winter wardrobe, girl!

    The rest of the world is wearing ski parkas and furs. Victoria makes do with a lightweight Burberry trench. And a bandage dress.

  • Annabelle Archer

    I adore your recaps of this show.  They are the whipped cream on my campy sundae.

  • “the most damning bit of evidence since O.J.’s glove” 


  • You guys are just as FAB as the two ladies who make the show awesome!

  • pchrist8

    I assumed Jack held onto the hoodie just in case Amanda was arrested for killing Tyler. That way he could prove he did it in order to take the fall for her.

    • CarolinLA

      Yes.  He stated that on the show that he kept it to exonerate her if the Graysons ever made charges come her way.  

  • I had always assumed that she wanted revenge on the Graysons for putting her father in jail/ruining his reputation/having her committed, which ultimately LED to his death. I had actually never thought that they purposely actively had hte knife stuck in his heart. but now that you say it, it makes perfect sense that they did it, and that she should know about it.

  • Also, can we discuss how Daniel was about to off himself before the lawyer showed up? Did anyone else catch that? I was GENUINELY surprised when it turned out Lee was dead and not Daniel.

    • That was a fake out, they wanted you to think he had killed himself for a minute but he had actually contacted his lawyer to change his plea to guilty.

      • OH!!! ok. get it now.

  • butter nut

    watching this show is like eating a big bowl of candy. i fucking love it.

  • joe_tey83

    Revenge is exactly the kind of show that will DEFINITELY DEFINITELY DEFINITELY implode Ryan-Murphy-style, collapsing under the weight of its incoherent inconsistent far-fetched plots and characters. I predict this to happen latest by late season 2.

    It WILL happen. 

  • I see Nolan as Batgirl/Oracle and Fauxmanda as Robin – too nerdy?

    And not only is he a shitty artist, he’s a shitty artist that can’t be productive without getting some from Victoria Grayson… which is just sad.

  • adnama79

    Jack stated why he kept the hoodie.  To take the fall in case fauxmanda is ever implicated.  

  • frances rossi

    Don’t they have cameras in prisons now?

    • adnama79

      Now they do, but did they when her dad was in there? 

      If the camera comment is re:  paying someone to kill David, they could cause a big ol’ riot where no one person gets blamed OR bribe someone serving a life sentence with nothing to lose.

      If the camera comment is re:  David being alive, I guess if you can bribe someone to label a death certificate with the wrong name, you can bribe someone to erase a tape.