Pairs Division: Schilling and Efron

Posted on April 17, 2012

Darlings, sappy romance movies make our asses itch, but sappy romance movies with soldiers make our asses itch and our eyes roll back in our heads. It is for this reason that we do not buy tickets to sappy romance movies with soldiers, lest people in the theater think we’re having a seizure and wind up forcing their wallets into our mouths so we don’t bite our tongues. We hate it when that happens.

Anyway, let’s take a look at the stars of the latest sappy-romance-with-a-soldier movie, shall we?

Taylor Schilling and Zac Efron attend the premire of “The Lucky One” in LA. Taylor Schilling wore a Calvin Klein dress. Jewelry by Lynn Ban. Bag and shoes by Calvin Klein.

Calvin Klein Resort 2012 Collection/Model: Josefien Rodermans

SHE: Was born to wear that dress. And unlike a lot of ladystars when they find the right dress, she finished it off with some excellent detailing. Love the clutch and LOVELOVE the cuff. Nicely done, ladystar we’ve never heard of before now. Score: 9.5/10. Half-point taken off because we only like the hair.

HE: Is wearing an oil slick. Worse, he’s wearing an oil slick that doesn’t fit him correctly. He looks like he’s melting in that thing. And isn’t the tie bar awfully high or is that just us? Regardless, the overall effect is terrible. Score: 5/10. Hem those pants, boy. Better yet, burn them, along with the jacket. We’re pretty sure the fire would last several days.

Combined Score: 7.25/10. Taylor, you have our permission to slap him for ruining your moment.

 

[Photo Credit: David Gabber/PR Photos, Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images, elle.com]

    • http://profiles.google.com/adj.blair Adriana Blair

      She looks gorgeous. She also looks like a Diane Kruger clone.

      • HomeOfficeGirl

        She sure does – with some Jane Krakowski thrown in for good measure.

      • MzzPants

        I had the same reaction.  Blonde hair, great cheekbones, working the perfect gown. 

      • TropiCarla

        When I first had the misfortune of seeing the promos, I swore it was Amber Valletta.

      • Nonnah

        I thought the same thing!

      • EEKstl

        She does!  I thought it was DK at first.

    • Anathema_Device

      Not good, Zac. It does look like a oilcloth tablecloth fashioned into a suit.

      Love her look, though. Great dress, looks wonderful on her, and she got the accessorizing right. Well played, newbie.

    • introspective

      Agreed. she looks *fab*. And he looks hazardous.

    • Sobaika Mirza

      She is looking pretty darn perfect.

      This movie looks awful. And usually love a good Nicholas Sparks mushfest.

      • http://twitter.com/Goldielox73 Goldie

         The book was pretty good, the movie…doesn’t look so good.  They keep ruining Nicholas Sparks movie/books by putting guys that are too young in them.

      • http://twitter.com/Goldielox73 Goldie

         The book was pretty good, the movie…doesn’t look so good.  They keep ruining Nicholas Sparks movie/books by putting guys that are too young in them.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=21413366 Evan Hart

      I am not digging Efron’s Ken doll hair…. 

      • TheOriginalLulu

        Agreed. He is definitely a guy who looks better without too much grooming. Jeans, a t-shirt, no hair product and a 5-o’clock shadow seems to be a better look for him. Even so, when required to dress up, he can do much better than this.

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

        Nor me. I also think that his eyebrows need a bit of attention.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

        I thought he reminded me more of that scary Disick Kardashian guy.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=21413366 Evan Hart

           Oooh. Yes. Good call!!

    • VicksieDo

      He looks like a DOUCHE. ICK

      SHE is gorgeous, full stop.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-Cleary/1201575213 Patrick Cleary

      It looks like the oil dripped down from his hair on to his suit. And he’s wearing higher heels than she is.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=678337501 Carla Axtman

      I feel like they’re going to cast that rubber suit Efron is wearing for the inevitable Fifty Shades of Grey movie. Something that can just be wiped clean after the…um…juicy scenes.

    • http://www.facebook.com/AdriannaGrezak Adrianna Grężak

      Am I the only one who got distracted and incredibly disgusted by that model’s spine in the third picture??

      • http://twitter.com/aStudiobytheSea a Studio by the Sea

        You aren’t.  That was scary.  There’s a gal who needs to be in a hospital, pronto.

      • ClevelandburbsBeth

        Nope. My eyes immediately went to the back of the dress, but not because of the back of the dress. Yikes.

      • ClevelandburbsBeth

        Nope. My eyes immediately went to the back of the dress, but not because of the back of the dress. Yikes.

      • mshesterp

        YES, I’m traumatized by that.  Yikes.  

      • mshesterp

        YES, I’m traumatized by that.  Yikes.  

      • kimmeister

        I can’t figure out why the vertebrae are different colored than the rest of her skin!

        • BuffaloBarbara

           I think it’s just the lighting angle making weird shadows under them.  That they protrude enough for shadows is disturbing.  Maybe it’s time for more countries to adopt a minimum BMI rule for working models.

      • Calinda_L

        Nooooooo, you are definitely not. I read through the comments just to make sure *I* wasn’t the only one! I get (sorta, kinda) why thinness is preferred for models: so the clothes can be adjusted and made to look “perfect” without all the inconvenience of, say, a body shape getting in the way. But, seriously, this is just plain too skinny. It’s unhealthy and — sadly, the point that the designer would probably care more about — seriously, seriously unattractive. Every once in a while, TLo mentions that such-and-such star looks better in a frock than the model, and more often than not it’s because the celeb usually has at least *some* curves.

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/ZFKRECRF5BOBWB4RXAJGI4D6KA mmc

        No, you’re not the only one!  It startled me.  Here’s hoping it was weird lighting.

        The dress on Schilling is amazing.  I love the elegant simplicity, with just enough design to make it look like something relatively new and different.

      • MissAnnieRN

        OMG, I scrolled back up and that is awful.  If she really is as skeletal as that picture makes her look, I feel as though her employers have a moral responsibility to offer her some counseling, or maybe not hire obviously anorexic girls.  But I guess that’s almost all of them, but that is…..a profound level of starvation.  I’m surprised she has hair on her head….

    • MilaXX

      I’d cut him a break for at least putting in effort. Yes it’s too shiny and too big, but honestly as long as he knows the pole dance for his latest film is not a pit stop on the way to Home Depot, I’m happy. 6.5/10
      She looks great. 9.5/10

      The movie is gonna suck anyway.

      • BuffaloBarbara

         I’ll give him points for looking like a real, grown-up man sort of person, if an incredibly badly dressed one.

        I hate sappy love stories.  I don’t care whether they’re about soldiers or not.

    • sweetlilvoice

      I’m distracted by the model photo where the model is walking away…her back looks like a mass of bony knots and tissue. That’s sexy? Movie looks horrid.  

    • http://www.djplaw.com/ Tadiana

      I do not understand why any man would willingly put on a shiny suit, or why any respectable designer would make one.  Do they look better in person than in pictures?  Because oily is exuding from the photos and it’s pretty repulsive.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/J2VE4NE2FY2BP4QD2XOYKJGLPI Laura

      Major douche factor with Efron. 

      She looks fab. 

    • MzzPants

      Efron looks good from the neck up.  I like him in Pete Campbell hair.  Tones down the douche-baggery.

      • toriadoria

        Wait, what? The hair is the douchebaggiest part!

    • TheOriginalLulu

      She looks amazing in that dress.
      Agreed that the hair could have been better. And maybe a little lip color?

    • MzzPants

      Oh, and…your opener is hiLARious!

    • VioletFem

        Half-point taken off because we only like the hair. 
      Typo? Did you mean you did not like the hair?

      • http://www.djplaw.com/ Tadiana

        I think they meant “only like” as in “like, but not love”.  To get a 10 from TLo, the hair has to be better than just okay.

    • nannypoo

      I think he should get douche points for matching the oil-slick suit with his oil-slick hair.

      • unbornfawn

        YES!

      • halleygee

        Exactly!!

    • Terence Ng

      Perhaps I don’t understand the dress, but it looks like the bust is coming loose from the silver metal (?) piping. Was it hot-glued on?

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/R6OP6BTUBNAJOBIIACR5XZJ4IM Karen C

      IMHO, Zac always looks like he needs a good scrub.  I am thinking the suit was not oily till he wore it. 

    • Susan Crawford

      She looks fantabulous! (Whoever she is – but who cares when you are rocking a look like this amazing dress.( Agree with the boys that her hair might have been a little better, but overall, she was WERQing her little butt off.

      Efron is wearing one of the most hideous suits I’ve seen in a long time. He looks like the Tar Baby. Just dreadful, and ill-fitting to boot. Weird, douchy and just plain inexcusable.

    • unbornfawn

      Excellent post and perfect scoring!

    • unbornfawn

      Excellent post and perfect scoring!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PRM766RS56X25A5742XLACK2LM Sam

      As soon as I saw her picture I thought to myself, “That looks like a Calvin Kline dress.” Then I scrolled down and saw that it was in fact, a Calvin Kine dress. I’m learning!

      And I owe that all to you guys, thanks!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PRM766RS56X25A5742XLACK2LM Sam

      As soon as I saw her picture I thought to myself, “That looks like a Calvin Kline dress.” Then I scrolled down and saw that it was in fact, a Calvin Kine dress. I’m learning!

      And I owe that all to you guys, thanks!

    • RebeccaKW

      The ‘red carpet’ is hysterical.  Fake grass, picket fence, hay bale.  She looks amazing and he looks ridiculous.  The hair especially.

    • RebeccaKW

      The ‘red carpet’ is hysterical.  Fake grass, picket fence, hay bale.  She looks amazing and he looks ridiculous.  The hair especially.

    • http://twitter.com/Goldielox73 Goldie

      This is the second or third time we’ve seen these oil slick suits on the red carpet lately.  Is this becoming a thing with the men the way nude shoes were with the women?

    • http://twitter.com/Goldielox73 Goldie

      This is the second or third time we’ve seen these oil slick suits on the red carpet lately.  Is this becoming a thing with the men the way nude shoes were with the women?

      • http://twitter.com/Nancer Nancer

         I know, right? I have been wondering the same thing. If we get a vote on it, I say nay!

    • guest2visits

      Agree; that dress is great on her. It’s another one of those very difficult-styles that most everyone should probably
      avoid unless they want to risk a clothing malfunction.  What a cool clutch.
      He’s always way too pretty, to me anyway.

    • guest2visits

      Agree; that dress is great on her. It’s another one of those very difficult-styles that most everyone should probably
      avoid unless they want to risk a clothing malfunction.  What a cool clutch.
      He’s always way too pretty, to me anyway.

    • 3boysful

      Spot on as usual, guys.

      Zach look like a bobblehead next to Taylor in photo one.   And something about the sheen of that icky suit makes him look like he’s photoshopped into the picture.

    • 3boysful

      Spot on as usual, guys.

      Zach look like a bobblehead next to Taylor in photo one.   And something about the sheen of that icky suit makes him look like he’s photoshopped into the picture.

    • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

      Should she really be standing that close to him while wearing reflective accessories?  She catches the light at the right angle, and he’ll go up like a torch.

    • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

      Should she really be standing that close to him while wearing reflective accessories?  She catches the light at the right angle, and he’ll go up like a torch.

    • http://www.nahuli.blogspot.com cjcris23

      When I saw the trailer for that movie I said to my husband “What is this? Another awful Nicholas Sparks movie? Oh yeah, there it is, by Nicholas Sparks.”. Gag gag gag.
      She looks amazing. He looks oily all over.

    • janetjb

      Whoever put him in that suit should be fired.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/DBSIHWVY4ECXGNXAXFXJMSCNIE Katrin

      T&Lo, I’m doing this out of love and to spare you the unpleasantness of being mauled by hordes of unhappy military types (who undoubtedly read your page religiously like everybody else on this planet)… U.S. Marine ≠ Soldier! 

    • kimmeister

      My first thoughts at seeing him were, in this order:
      1) Oil slick suit!
      2) That tie clip is WAY too high

    • Sara LaBatt

      In the smiling pics Efron looks like a young greasy John Stamos.

    • formerlyAnon

      You fellas are spot on. That suit is so shiny and . .  and . . somehow *thick* looking that I’d believe it if you told me it was made of leather.

    • KathKo

      could you deduce points for his hair, to ?
      Because pento with oily suit ? Yikes !

    • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gabriella M

      She looks amazing and should slap him.
      Question, though. Is there ever an occasion a shiny suit on a man is appropriate? I don’t know if I’ve ever seen them look good, but maybe it’s a contextual thing? I guess possibly clubbing or something, but then it’d probably give a strong sense of douche. Thoughts?

      • Snailstsichr

        I think it might be OK to wear a shiny suit to a 1950s party … does that count?

    • PeaceBang

      She looks like she could be his mother: are they a romantic item in this treacly flick? He looks like a total doofus, like a kid who went swimming in an over-chlorinated pool all afternoon and is waterlogged and in need of Visine. I don’t know why: he just does. And the suit is deplorable. He looks like a Sleestak in the first photo and that scared me.

      • DaringMiss

        Thank you!   I think she looks 10 years older than he does.  He looks like her boy toy — and not one in her league.

      • Kimberlini

        She looks fab in the photos by herself but definitely old enough to be his mother in the photos with Zac.  Weird.

      • BrooklynBomber

        I really like how you’ve thought this all out – the pool, the Visine, the Sleestak (though I had to look that one up)!  Anyway, I saw a tv commercial for this movie (and had no idea what it was), but in the commercial she looks younger than she does here. Maybe it’s the dress and hairstyle here; she looks very sophisticated. Though also rather generic (in that Hollywood-churns-out-one-skinny-blond-after-another way).

    • EEKstl

      I don’t know who she is but she looks fabulous, LOVE that dress and the cuff and clutch couldn’t be a better addition.  I can’t believe his mother lets him go out of the house dressed like that!

    • Sequence Silver

      He is serving up Pete Campbell realness. Although Pete would probably have hemmed his pants.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1344922354 Eric Scheirer Stott

      I’ll give him a few points because he’s well shaved, has a good haircut, and he’s wearing a decent shirt

      • Lisa

        I’m with you – points for trying. I can’t be mad at him for that.  Some other Bitter Kittens have pointed out that he’s one of those guys who looks much better in jeans, a tee shirt and a little unshaven, with his hair a little mussed, and I agree.  The vibe I’m getting here is, “Naaah, I don’t need a stylist – I’ll just put on a suit, comb my hair nicely, and I should be fine” – classic “guy” mistake.   It looks like he made an effort, and it just didn’t work out well.  Hopefully he’ll hire a stylist for his next RC event.

    • http://twitter.com/MandySCG MandyJane

      She looks amazing. She was in a very short lived TV show along with Michelle Trachtenberg, but I hadn’t heard of her before that.

    • http://twitter.com/Nancer Nancer

      Interesting dress, I like it. Help me out, though. Does the silver metal look like it is rigid to you? I’m just wondering if it is metal, or trim, or what – it’s really interesting.

    • alyce1213

      I don’t know who she is either, but that is indeed her dress.  Not everyone can wear that bodice.  It’s a side- and under-boob tragedy when attempted by the well-endowed.  She has exactly the right body and she’s well accessorized (except for the douche standing beside her).
      Agree completely with your downscore for hair.  (I can also live without the tat.)

      I can’t even look at what he’s wearing.

    • jw_ny

      I may have had half an inkling to see this sappy love story/solider flick when it comes out on dvd, however since Zack is in it, there’s no chance of my seeing it at all. 

      She looks lovely and deserves the nice high score.  :)

    • http://heartprintandstyle.blogspot.com Vivi N

      Um…Taylor Schilling is 27 years old. I honestly thought the movie was about a young solider falling in love with a much, much older woman. Like 20 years age difference.

      • sekushinonyanko

         I just looked at them and not the names and thought it was Diane Krueger and I was thinking “dayum girl, you are making it happen! Sexy cougar movie shall be seen by me!” And then I see it’s some other, much younger person and all I can think is “oh! Ouch!” She looks THE BOMB for forty something, but knowing she is twenty-something…less so in context.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_OSYAJATXUH3QX7ZDDF52GXG4PU Janie R

      I can’t help thinking that suit would be too noisy to wear to a movie. 

      That is a beautiful combo of dress and starlet.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sarah-Friedman/100002363116424 Sarah Friedman

      When did Zac Efron get so schmarmy, and did he have work done on his face or something? I second the kudos to Ladystar I’ve Never Heard Of. She looks killa.

    • fringebenefit

      Didn’t realize that the The Lucky One was a trite, manipulative hack job and bought the damn thing in an airport shop. Had to abandon it a quarter of the way through the book and the flight. Couldn’t even leave it in the seat pocket–seemed a cruel thing to do to somebody else. Ditched it in the trash as soon as I deplaned. Unforgivably wretched tripe that no star could save, no matter how glittering–or greasy.

    • butter nut

      they made them dress up in fancy clothes for a movie premiere, only to trade in the red carpet for fake grass & hay bales.  how… classy?

    • LesYeuxHiboux

      They look like they hate each other. The dress does look good on her but the overall effect is less than memorable for her first starring premiere. The movie, the pair, the look: mehhhhhhh.

    • PeggyOC

      Anyone else think she looks like what would happen if you crossed Dutchess Catherine with Dianne Krueger?

    • MissAnnieRN

      You know what makes my ass itch?  SHINY SUITS.  WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SHINY SUITS APPEARING ON THE RC????????????

    • Spicytomato1

      The dress looks beautiful on her but the style will work only for the very slight of frame. Anyone with any broadness to their shoulders will a) look like an East German Olympic swimmer and b) be in serious danger of mega sideboob — or worse.

      • kimmeister

        Roffling at the East German Olympic swimmer reference!

    • Sue_Asponte

      She looks fantastic. I think you could also have justified the .5 off for the armpit tattoo. Which is nuts. But otherwise, phenomenal.

      Oh, Zack, please correct course. This is not going well.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Neil-Fortin/17605924 Neil Fortin

      I gotta say I like the shiny suit trend. I bet it looks better in person. That silk/linen or silk/cotton combo is always fun and fancy. I wonder where this one is from? 

    • Judy_J

      She looks great.  That dress is divine on her.  He looks slippery, and that tie bar is set way too high.

    • lordandtaylor

      Zac stopped looking right before the release of his previous, flop film called, umm..hmmm…Anyone remember it? He now sports a used car salesman look. Why is he trying to look soooooo old?

      Still, he looks amazing in his swim suit. Thank you Entertainment Weekly for that!

    • granddelusion

      Who the hell is Taylor Schilling? And why does she look 10 years older than he does?

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

      I love that with just the right posing and camera angles, the movie poster looks like an ad for K-Y. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=27432316 Ally Monge

      Maybe I am having an off day… I hate disagreeing with my fave gay uncles, but I hate that dress. hate, hate, hate.

    • Onymous

      At least it’s not a four-in-hand knot?

      Just to pile on though, the crease in those pants is just way too hard it does all sorts of weird things to them especially when it bunchs at the feet.

    • deathandthestrawberry

      I LOVE her dress. Full stop.

      Efron? Meh.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=617249824 Dawn Sinclair

      is that a georg jensen cuff?

    • lilazander

      The  dress looks like a CK dress and SHE looks great in it. F-ron looks like an asshole.

    • Lina_bee

      She looks amazing, whoever she is. Stylist for the win!  He meanwhile…yikes.

    • Lisa Kramp

      Can I knock her down and steal her cuff? 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=630168379 Brian G. Cox

      Why am I humming the theme to Green Acres?

      And yes, TLo, the tie bar is too high. This is [unfortunately] becoming a “thing.” I would blame Archer, but he’s a cartoon character and way too cool anyway.

    • gigiex

      Love! Huh! And Calvin Klein is a genius.
      Him? Who? Not seeing him. Period.

    • Cathy S

      She looks incredible. He looks flammable. She should stay away.

    • ccm800

      His face looks really beautiful here but the shiny suit and the Reagan hair are hell-no-kitty. 

    • ccm800

      And I HATE her gown. The fabric in not attached tot eh hanger looking thing and that makes it crap. If the focal point of the thing is wrong – its and Auf. 

    • frankystein123

      A complete reverse of the April 26 post.