Mila Kunis in 3.1 Phillip Lim

Posted on April 26, 2012

Alright, Mila Kunis. Fine. You want to wear your shiny silk short shorts out? We won’t stop you, even if we could.

Actually, if we could, we really would stop her. That’s our secret dream, darlings. To have the authority to physically prevent America’s greatest natural resource – our celebrities – from going out in public wearing things that are clearly mistakes or cries for help. When people ask, “Where do you see yourselves in five years?” We always want to say, “Policing the world’s red carpets,” but we usually say something vaguely inspirational about hungry children.

Anyway, Mila and her shorts.

Mila Kunis attends the 2012 CinemaCon Walt Disney Studio Motion Pictures Event in 3.1 Phillip Lim. Shoes by Christian Dior. Jewelry by Jennifer Meyer and A.L.C.

3.1 Phillip Lim Seasonless Jacket

3.1 Phillip Lim Chartreuse Silk Blend Shorts

Christian Dior Patent Leather Peep-Toe Pumps

We could actually get behind this except for two things:

1) Those shorts are a skosh too small on her, and

2) They’re the color of underwear.

You wanna do the sassy short, then you should pick one in a sassy color. Or at least a black. Bad enough we’ve been subjected to so-called “nude shoes” ad nauseam; we can’t handle a nude short. And speaking of which, we hate the color of those shoes, too.

And these are not the kinds of shorts you should be tucking your blouse into. Possibly cute idea, badly handled all around.

 

[Photo Credit: PRN/PRPhotos.com, saksfifthavenue.com, ssense.com]

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  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    High end hooker, trying to not look like a high end hooker.

    • Nelliebelle1197

       But that shirt… is so confusing.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UXHOYXPNJJ4MQH6IHYSI3G5ILI M

    She’s dating Ashton Kutcher–this is hardly her biggest misstep this week.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1084733830 Kate Andrews

      Yes. Before they physically stop Mila from wearing those shorts, TLo need to tackle the Ashton problem first.

      • P M

         NOoooo! His douchiness is rubbing off on her!

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        So this is what happens when Mila and Ashton get together again-she gets fashion ”punked”.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      Too, too true.

    • TAGinMO

       Aw. Jackie & Kelso, together again.

      • Kolo_Ol

        touche!

      • Alice Hepburn

        …how did I not realise she was Jackie until now?

        • P M

           Because she did a damn good job making us forget, what with the Black Swan and all.

      • P M

         I smell publicity stunt!

      • JasmineAM

        MICHAEL!!

    • mmgk

      She’s dating Ashton Kutcher??!!  Ugh, that’s disappointing.  

      • lovelyivy

         Allegedly! She denies it.

        • mmgk

          Oh good.  I’m going to assume it’s not true. 

        • Pennymac

          Haha! Not a good start to an alleged relationship. To deny you’re dating the worlds skeeviest douche; the Duke of Jackassery, the King of Douchbagistan!

    • Sobaika Mirza

      Is anyone else totally weirded out by the fact that they met when she was 14?

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EDI2DLE7DE3YPW2ONIHBWOVHMA ecallaw

       Isn’t that just a rumor?  She’s pretty strongly denied it.  They’ve been photographed together, but it’s understandable that they could be friends after working together for so many years.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UXHOYXPNJJ4MQH6IHYSI3G5ILI M

        Yes, but they stayed together at some villa in the middle of nowhere.  My guess is that they are dating but hiding it. 

        • theblondette

           Sounds like a sexcation to me rather than dating! Ah, the trials of celebrity. Your shameful holiday shags become tabloid relationships.

      • formerlyAnon

        It’s always possible it’s one of those dating/but not really things some people resort to when their emotional lives are in flux – ‘dating’ someone who’s been a friend for years, knowing it’s not remotely real. Or that it’s ‘unfinished business’ from years back for her, again, knowing it’s not real. Hence the denial. She’s only 28 (?) and possibly not yet evaluating every relationship for its long-term potential.

        And since she’s known him since before he became  . . . well, who he is now (as if I know enough to know what that is) she may like him better than we think possible.

  • TheOriginalLulu

    All of it is very, very bad. Go home and start over.

  • Clueless_Jock

    So tacky. It’s a shame though since she’s so pretty.

  • PastryGoddess

    Gurl you are not cute enough to be werqing that bitchface.  Everything she is wearing is the color of old and dirty underwear.  Please step to the side entrance…your car and driver are waiting

  • Lisa

    It’s dull business wear from the waist up.  From the waist down, it’s too-tight, boring color, but still overly shiny Studio 54 satin shorts.  With that same boring beige pump that everyone on the planet is wearing.

  • DinaSews

    That chartreuse color would have made this outfit.  Well, with different shoes and shirt.  And my dream is for there to be a reality show watching the two of you police the red carpet!

    • DinaSews

      I would also love to see the before and after shots once you have made your changes.  Come to think of it, how about a TLo app so we could ‘paper doll’ the changes and see how they look?

  • http://www.wordydoodles.com WordyDoodles

    TLo’s right – there are so many ways this could have been nudged into fabulosity. What’s standing out to me is the shapeless jacket. Over the colorless polyester-looking top. I haz sadface.

  • lonepear

    It looks like she was wearing expensive vintage underthings and had just started to get dressed in her real outfit when the fire alarm went off, so she left the house in just the jacket…

  • Little_Olive

    “Natural” resource? eehhh…

    ETA: the shinyness of the shorts matches her face. Let’s hope she does not suffer from the same sweat down there.

  • FlamingJune1967

    Hmm… I must be a naturally tacky person because I really like everything but the jacket (which just seems out of place to me.)  

    • mshesterp

      I like everything but the blouse tucked into the shorts, so I’m right there with ya.

  • Sobaika Mirza

    I am not opposed to formal shorts, just ones that look like silky pajamas. Not cute.

  • VicksieDo

    I love those shoes in pink, but no. The outfit as a whole doesn’t work. But the lady is gorgeous.

  • Violina23

    She looks SO awkward and uncomfortable in that first shot.

  • Lina_bee

    It’s a cute jacket! I really hate the blouse – that’s just NOT her color – and the shoes are not good. The shorts could work in a different color, if they fit better. OTOH, it’s for a Disney studios daytime event — what the hell are women supposed to wear?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      pants, skirt, dress, mouse ears.  Anything but those shorts.

  • Anathema_Device

    This is a color palette disaster. The shorts are awful in any color. She needs to figure out to teleport to functions a la Swinton if she’s going to wear fabric like that.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      But ms. Munis does not yet grasp the subtleties of how to become a style goddess.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    No, I really don’t wanna see sassy silk shorts. This strucks me as a “feminine celeb office get up” outfit, which leaves a bad taste in my “feminine” mouth.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=506473106 Mori Clark

    just….why? why, mila? why not wear them in the chartreuse?? 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    Shittery on a gorgeous woman. It pains me. 

  • megohd

    It’s the shirt that really bothers me

  • ItchyInKentucky

    The shorts might have worked if she had a pop of color or pattern somewhere. Unfortunately everything under the blazer is cat food colored, and her shoes look like she slathered her feet in Oil of Olay.

    • SewingSiren

      Now the smell of cat food is altering my judgement. Phew.

  • MilaXX

    I don’t mind dress shorts, but this is done so very wrong. I don’t like the jacket, the hose with the shorts or the color. Change to a better color, get a great top instead of that boring shirt & jacket, and lose the hosiery and she could look cute.

  • Carla_Charlton

    Those SHOES….really awful — the color, the shine, the open toe, the platform.  And about the shorts – I can just hear my grandmother saying “…And she’s such a pretty girl.”

  • Pennymac

    I know these are expensive, but it looks like a mismatched thrift store outfit to me. The jacket seems faded and the shirt and shorts are a crime.

  • http://twitter.com/herong Heron

    I don’t hate it?

  • http://twitter.com/A_SmallFry AC

    I would love to watch a red carpet show that was just TLo standing at the entrances of the red carpets of the world and directing the poorly dressed back to their limos.

  • allie5

    Funny you said “ad nauseum” in reference to the shoes, because I was thinking they’re the color of Pepto Bismol.

    • Ogden1990

      On my screen, they are the color of Band-Aids.

  • BrooklynBomber

    It’s astonishing to think that any clothing made in an adult size could be too small for Mila Kunis.

  • BrooklynBomber

    I ❤ the paragraph that starts with “Actually, if we could” and ends with “hungry children.”

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F73LIJ3SJGI5AJQMXMWXCKILHI Pamela

    Surely she’s better than this Nudey McBeigerson outfit.  And if it’s true Mila, why oh why are you dating that douche Ashton Kutcher?  Didn’t you get enough of him on “That 70s Show”?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=584364405 Sabrina Abhyankar

      Nudey McBeigerson is my new favorite thing. 

  • Joyce VG

    Oh No Mila. No no noooo.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/XX3UUXUSBZGZQ4MKNADAMYTADE Mrs

    plus she has her hands in her pockets
    no no!

  • sashaychante

    Those shorts do not go with the jacket and top.  Those shorts don’t go with anything.  They make me think “spanx”.  She’s too cute for this outfit.

  • Sophie Collier

    I agree with your assessment.  So many cute shorts out there, and better ways to wear these particular ones.

  • nannypoo

    This is a not-cute idea, badly handled all around. I guess the jacket’s cute.

  • H3ff

    I want to pat her face with a grease-absorbing cosmetic pad…

  • marilyn

    Between the shorts, top and jacket, at least one has to go.  And the shoes will go no matter what.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/W7A5N4G7FDTV5U2KOHBVSB55XI Basket

    With her legs, I can understand how she was convinced to wear those shorts.  It is just the shorts…

  • PaulaBerman

    Does she have something in her pocket, or is that major nude short polterwang (snicker snicker) in the second picture of her?

  • Dhammadina

    All the awkwardness that comes with wearing shorts happens here. Though she is so slim and shapely and supercute,  the shorts tug at her body and just look awkward.  Not helped by how the jacket intersects at the midpoint nor by the blouse poofing out from the belt. She’s a cautionary tale for short wearers everywhere. 

  • Toto Maya

    But if celebrities didn’t walk out dressed like this, what the heck would you guys do with all that spare time?

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    Oh, TLo – how bad can this possibly

    *scrolls down*

    HOLY SHIT!

    Gentlemen, I will never doubt you again.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=27432316 Ally Monge

    She is single handedly ruining my favorite going out outfit: blazer, w/ delicate top, tailored shorts, heeled pumps, and bangles. Shame on  you Mila.  Go up a size on the shorts in the original yellow color from model picture (what, you can’t handle wearing a size 2?), pair with the same blazer in blue with cuffs rolled once, and any other colored pumps.

  • jeeplibby02

    Those shorts would work with a plain girly-T and flat jeweled sandals.  Shorts and heels are never a good idea, unless one wants to look like a streetwalker.

  • bitchybitchybitchy

    I really am entranced by the fantasy of TLo swooping in like fashion superheroes to stop celebs on the RC! We could all clap our hands (ala Peter Pan), TLo would magically appear and voila! the offending celeb would be stopped in his/her tracks. 

  • Lilak

    I don’t imagine it matters if she went up a size with the shorts … those things are gonna whisker like crazy.

    But the whole thing is sadly random anyway.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1326120071 Gaby Ripoll

    Should have gone with the yellow. It would have gone from washed out to cute and preppy. Couldashouldawoulda.

  • http://twitter.com/Lola99959 Veronika Kaufmann

    good grief how bad is that lighting and the camera angle isn’t doing her any favors either. Having said that, it wouldn’t matter. Gentlemen, you are correct on all counts of Mila’s stylists’ crimes against the red carpet. 

  • Jecca2244

    as a woman i understand those shoes as i do nude shoes. sometimes you just need them…but not with this outfit. i’m not a big shorts fan but thats probably because i can’t pull them off…

  • tsid2012

    I want to see a strong, wide belt here and a different blouse.

  • http://twitter.com/MandySCG MandyJane

    Those are the kind of shorts you can never sit down in, if you don’t want wrinkles. I don’t know why anyone bothers making shorts out of that material. Otherwise, I think she looks really cute… even the shoes! 

  • guest2visits

    I was hoping not to see the short-shorts under jacket look that they’ve been pitching  everywhere; on an actual person.
    It does look a little messy around the waist, and the shorty’s under jacket thing still looks silly. Sorry TLo; I like the shoes.

  • Chaiaiai

    Mila, YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS. 
    TLo, I’m hoping that when you do police the red carpets – because you will, one day, as God as my witness – at least one of you gets to wear a windowpane plaid jacket.  So the celebrities will KNOW what real style is. 

  • formerlyAnon

    Jacket yes. The rest, not as executed.

    Though if she really LIKES shorts as something in which to be photographed, she should get the right size and go for it. She’s in her late 20s and IMO, formal shorts (dress shorts?) are a young woman’s game. No matter how great she looks in them, they just don’t look like what a person who is staking out their place in the world and has earned a little respect would wear.

    I may be a tad prejudiced against shorts outside of a casual setting, I admit it. 

  • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

    I love the jacket.  She’s young and she’s got great legs.  The shorts look cute on her!  I like the shoes, too.  It is the blouse that takes this into ‘out’ territory for me.  I agree that it should not be tucked in.  Otherwise, she looks good!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NOWQRXMYKVEJBF2FRWGEYQLPUM K

    She should have worn the yellow shorts!!!! She is tan and can pull off the yellow. Plus pale yellow+ navy + love. Two shades of nude + navy = : ( 

  • http://profiles.google.com/thisiscelia Celia

    It’s three….THREE(!) different beige/nude tones in one minimal outfit. I don’t care who she is, that is GROSS.

  • kaycem

    i’m pretty sure that the shoes she’s wearing aren’t the ones pictured…  the platform on mila’s is larger and not tapered and the heel is higher and straighter than the dior version.  same color, though.