Halle Berry in Dolce&Gabbana

Posted on April 16, 2012

You know how sometimes we say, “Girl, that’s not your dress?” Miss Halle, by virtue of the fact that she’s Miss Halle, demonstrates the exact opposite principle:

Halle Berry attends the 2012 Jenesse Silver Rose Awards Gala and Auction in a Dolce&Gabbana dress.

Girl, that is ONLY your dress. No one else should even make the attempt.

In all honesty, we think this thing is more than a little tacky, but we can’t honestly say she looks bad here. In fact, she looks spectacular. This dress, on practically anyone else, would smack of desperation to be seen as fuckable, but come ON. Halle doesn’t need a dress to tell the world she’s hot. Her hotness is without question and so powerful that it can make a black lace and leopard print dress look downright chic.

Okay, maybe that last bit was hyperbolic, but seriously, can you say she looks bad here? And does the bitch ever age?

[Photo Credit: Koi Sojer, Andrew Evans/PR Photos]

    • Judy_J

      She so reminds me of Lena Horne.  That woman never aged, either.

    • TieDye64

      God, this woman is so beautiful. Bitch.

    • Sobaika Mirza

      Doesn’t she seem a bit overdressed? She looks fantastic, but a bit too much leopard and lace and curves for… whatever the 
      2012 Jenesse Silver Rose Awards Gala and Auction is.

      • lovelyivy

        I can’t tell without more pics from the event for comparison, but this is actually way underdressed for 90% of the galas I’ve been to (used to be part of my job- I hit up 3-5 per season). Maybe this was totally appropriate- who can tell?

        • Sobaika Mirza

          Who knows? I was just basing it off the ugly carpet.

          • lovelyivy

             I do not know who suggested that carpet. Hideous.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1316070988 Roey Thorpe

      So utterly hot.  You’re right, unlike some women who make even a chic dress look tacky, she makes this dress look chic.

    • Anathema_Device

      She doesn’t age, does she? Wow. I think the dress is a size too small, but that’s a quibble. 

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

        It’s an important quibble though. A size up and it might not give her that shadow over her map of Tasmania.

    • MilaXX

      If I saw this in a store I’d say it’s fug, but it works for Halle.

    • greyhoundgirl

      And isn’t the dress too small, highlighting her crotch?  Love an animal print and she is beautiful and fabulous but don’t like the effect of the too tight dress.

      • Mexxoo

        I agree that the dress is too tight.  It’s pulling just about everywhere.  One size larger and many questions of tackiness would be removed (not all, just many ;)

        • Mexxoo

          Although, to address Carla’s post below, perhaps it’s that tight because one size larger wouldn’t have propped up the girls quite so well.  Since it’s Halle Berry, I doubt she’s actually wearing *any* support garments.

        • 3boysful

           So true!  I was like, really?  We like a dress with a crotch shadow/cloud?  But she is gorgeous enough to almost pull off even this dress.

          • formerlyAnon

            “almost”

      • jenno1013

        The crotch shadow is very distracting.  There’s more shadow there than her flat abdomen should project, which makes me wonder if the fabric has a nap?  Nap exaggerates shadows.

        • gubblebumm

           I wasnt sure what to call it, but yeah, shadowing….its like trying to say DONT LOOK HERE!!

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ENBX3563Q4ZNCVRGSJVFIB7OAA Thom

          I assumed it was a satin sheen instead of a velvet sheen: leopard-print satin, while tacky as hell, would make sense for Dolce & Gabbana. Leopard-print velvet is probably banned by the Geneva Convention (or it should’ve been).

      • NudeShoesArentThatBad

        I agree. I immediately bypassed face and tits and zeroed in on her lady zone.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1183939371 Carla Gonzalez Burkhard

      I wanna know what support garments she’s got on the girls, cause they look fantastic!  Whoever designs that bra ought to use this picture as an ad!

      • Carla_Charlton

        She’s has the best top half of anyone around.  However, the length of the dress seems wrong to me and those peep toe shoes — DOWDY.

        • Judih1

          I agree from the chest up she looks great. After that it looks cheap, dowdy an desperate. Such a shame that such a beautiful woman resorted to this type of dress

        • MissAnnieRN

          I don’t understand how her girls look so good after having a baby.  As a wise woman once said “my tits look like two raw eggs you threw at the wall and hammered a nail into.”  Yup.  

    • butterflysunita

      I would have thought there is nothing that the gorgeous Halle can’t wear, but this dress comes close.  
      And yet.  You’re right, she looks stunning.  

    • AwesomeMargie

      Sweet fancy Moses!  She looks spectacular!  This woman and her stylists, know her body.  

      • out for a walk

        Also her hair looks fantastic!

      • Rrroza

        (Your exclamatory phrase is awesome too, AwesomeMargie!)

    • http://oneblueberry.com/ LaVonne Ellis

      Sorry, but I think it makes her look cheap and tacky. Also, don’t like the way those spots aim at her uterus. 

    • Pannyx

      I really hate this dress. Passionately. But damn she is werqing the hell out of it and loos smashing.

    • Wrenaria

      She looks gorgeous, but would look even better another dress size up. I find the pull across her stomach distracting.

    • TheOriginalLulu

      She’s gorgeous and she never ages and she would look amazing in a potato sack. Such a bitch.
      I do have one question, though. Is the black hole effect over her crotch part of the print or is it the lighting?

    • Stubenville

      Yes, she looks fantastic, but on anyone else this dress would scream COUGAR!!! 

      Minor quibble; IMHO it needs a little jewelry – perhaps a gold cuff?

    • Dani Colman

      Hidden in an attic somewhere, Miss Halle has a detailed and intricate portrait of an aging black woman, staring out at the world through hateful, age-dimmed eyes, growing ever older while Halle, here, remains fresh-faced and boobularly perky as a twenty-year-old.  Bitch.

      • Dani Colman

         Also, I’m pretty sure there’s some kind of support garment going on there: see the crease at the waist?  I don’t think the dress is structured enough to nip in there on its own, so I’m guessing it’s folding into the top of her Spanx.

    • MK03

      Forget chic, I’m pretty sure she is the only person in the world who could make black lace and leopard print look classy and dignified.

    • Monabel

      Dress is too tight.

    • http://www.lindamerrill.com Linda Merrill

      I think what makes it work – aside from it being Miss Halle Berry of course – is that while the pattern is tacky and the neckline quite va-va voom, the length is very conservative and the shoes are too. JLo, Fergie, Cameron et al would have taken 8 inches off the skirt or at least added a thigh revealing slit. This is definitely closer to how Sophia Loren would do sexy.

      • Celandine1

        Totally agree and its nice to see her in non-naked shoes (take notes Jennifer Aniston). Sophia Loren would be one of the few other stars who could elevate this from tacky to chic.

    • HobbitGirl

      The darkness at her crotch area is discomfiting.

      • kirble

        It looks like she wet herself. Because of that, I can’t believe anyone thinks this looks anything other than very, very wrong.

    • joe_tey83

      She’s kinda aging around the eyes.

      Anyhoo, she still looks freakishly spectacular.

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      Yes she is beautiful and sexy – no doubt.  And, she does not look bad at all.  But this dress is ugly and belongs to a Kardashian to take it to it’s full tacky, boob baring potential.  Also, the shoes are a little dowdy considering everything else going on!

    • glennethph

      Pretty but there’s that black hole where he vajayjay should be.

      p.s.  I wonder what her new scheme to discredit and destroy Gabriel Aubry is…

    • PastryGoddess

      If I had her boobs I could become Empress of the Universe…bitch

    • granddelusion

      Yes, it’s very tacky and cheap-looking. I hate the dark spot in her pubic region.

      • http://heartprintandstyle.blogspot.com Vivi N

        It’s because the dress is a smidge smaller than her size. Because of this, we’re seeing a bit of a budge in that stomach area…if that’s what you want to call it considering she’s a size 00 or some shit. If she had worn her correct size in that dress, you would not see the ‘dark spot’

    • lrhoff

      Smacks of Frederick’s of Hollywood.  She’s trying way too hard.

      • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

        Precisely.  She doesn’t need to dress like that.

    • rainwood1

      I’m not loving the crotch spot or the dress. She doesn’t look terrible, but that’s only because she is Miss Halle.

    • BeeBeauNYC

      I don’t think the bitch ages at all. She is flawless in her beauty. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/alexandra.pimenta Alexandra Gama Lima Pimenta

      I think that [besides the obvious God-given beauty] the hair makes all the difference in this case. Also, the shoes are very basic.  

      I agree on the Lena Horne reference. Also, I have the impression Sofia Loren would cat-fight her for that dress… lol 

      • http://twitter.com/TheRedZavodnik Ginger

        And Sofia Loren would wipe the floor with her ass.  Halle Berry is beautiful, but she just doesn’t have the presence that Sofia Loren has. 

    • librarygrrl64

      Really? The shape and fit and basic idea are great, but that dark spot on the crotch looks like a leopard in desperate need of a bikini wax. I can’t un-see it!

    • http://korilian.livejournal.com/ korilian

      I thought you were going to say, “Dress that is not your girl!”

    • julnyes

      The dress is horrendous, but Ms. Berry is stunning enough to tip this dress barely over into the IN column.

      The cool thing is that she is clearly aging, just very slowly and it in no way detracts from her amazing features.

    • IMNAngryLiberal

      Yeah, actually I can (say she looks bad here).  Ms Berry is stunning, but that dress is tacky and cheap looking — and has anyone determined whether the dark blotch over her lady parts is a shadow, an accident with her morning Starbucks, or part of the design?

      • Jennifer L.

        All I could think was “cooch divot”

    • rose88

      Is she stunningly beautiful?  Yes!  Does she have a killer bod?  Absolutely!  Should a gorgeous, middle-aged Oscar winning actress wear a dress that makes her look like a Vegas cocktail waitress working for tips?  No, she really should not!  Sorry, but a big OUT on this one from me.

    • Sunshine16

      Love Huh, but she needs to go up a size next time

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      Halle Berry would like you all to know she’s a cougar, and all the other would-be cougars can just pack it up and go home.

    • nannypoo

      How could someone so rich wear something so cheap? And how is it possible that she looks great anyway?

    • BazoDee

      I still think she could stand to go up a size here! But she looks amazing – And ageless. 

    • http://twitter.com/AShinyOConnor A Shiny O’Connor

       I want smash all the mirrors in my house, to go back to bed and curl up in a ball for enternity.

    • guest2visits

      It seems the tight slip dress, or the tight corseted slip dress is all I ever see on her. Not that she doesn’t wear it well.
      Very pretty, good actress;- just not my favorite human being.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Julie-Chase/731391326 Julie Chase

      Yup, it’s ugly, but she transcends ugly clothes. For the most part. I need to know where she gets her stash of unicorn blood.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      That is some weapons-grade fabulous making that dress look good. 

    • SignLadyB

      Your eyes do go there, don’t they? Were she 20 years older I’d have to suggest a bladder tuck. Still, she is an incredibly beautiful woman who has had more than her fair share of knock it out of the park fashion moments.

    • PeaceBang

      No, this screams desperation. This look announces that Halle knows her career is over and will take any form of attention (even crass objectification) in lieu of the respect she has earned and deserves. It makes me sad, and she has dead eyes in the close-ups. 

    • ccm800

      This is definitely her look.

    • enchanted216

      Beautiful woman, but that dress it too small.  I think it cries desperation, and she does not need to cheapen herself so.

    • snarkykitten

      she looks bangin in the dress but I can’t get behind all that leopard/cheetah/whatever print

    • EEKstl

      Before I scrolled down to the end of the post I was thinking that HB falls into the Julia Louis-Dreyfus category of never frickin’ aging.  Insane and incredible.  Now for the dress: I don’t know how she does it, but she does look hot.  But she needs to go up a size, at least in the bottom half.

    • sashaychante

      She is beautiful, but the dress is too tight.  Surprising and unnecessary, since she is in spectacular shape.

    • Bozhi

      She still looks great, but not in that dress.

    • marilyn

      I don’t like the black fabric around the crotch area.  Did she soil herself?  That alone makes the dress bad.  

    • Lisa

      No.   No, no, no, no.  Tacky dress, way too tight, and mom shoes.  OUT!

    • Pennymac

      I kept scrolling down looking for the snarky TLo comment to tell me what I am not supposed to like here. I’m thinking animal print, dress too tight, matchy shoes, black lace, baby heads, and still could find nothing to complain about. Its Halle Frikkin Berry who looks hot as hell in something that should be OUT but is not. Bowing down……

    • Lina_bee

      The shape of it is great on her, but omg, too tight and that awful print with lace. It *is* tacky. But she’s charming enough to make you ignore it. It’s like magic. Or a really useful superpower.

      • Pennymac

        Yes!

    • elzatelzabelz

      Agreed, she’s probably the only woman on the planet (maybe Sophia Loren) who can wear that dress. Yes, she definitely made a deal with the devil b/c she does NOT age.

    • http://twitter.com/aStudiobytheSea a Studio by the Sea

      That is such a trashy Peg Bundy of a dress, and yet Halle’s beauty and obvious good humor saves it.  You guys are right. 

    • http://twitter.com/Eovaai Eovaai

      She’s so hot. SO HOT. It’s not fair.

    • rawrgrowlrawr

      I always think animal print looks tacky. Animal print, lace and boobage? Too much. Even on Halle Berry. I think her beauty would be better served in something a bit more demure. 

    • JuliaInBlack

      Damn, I love her goofball hair with this dress.  She’s got the ageless-sexy thing down pat and I’m casting her now as the future Helen Mirren of the Gen X ladies.

    • quiltrx

      Miss Halle makes EVERY dress HER dress.  You WERQ that no one-else-can-wear-it shit.

    • GTrain

      Hot.

    • formerlyAnon

      She, personally, is beautiful. The dress is tacky as can be. 

      She, in the dress, isn’t really “looking good.” She’s “looking as if her Real Housewives Halloween costume fitting is about over.”

      It’s just dreadful.

    • http://twitter.com/yankeefoxtrot Alex McGeagh

      I was saying before I got to the 2nd photo…does this chick ever age?! And then you said it for me. And yeah, this dress is tackytastic lingerie, but she still looks good.

    • Judih1

      Leopard or lace – but NOT both. Unless its lingerie. Not even beautiful Halle could make that dress work. Hate the shoes

    • unbornfawn

      She looks fabulous!

    • http://vvatima.livejournal.com/ murt

      oh man she is so hot…. how is it even possible to look that hot? And she is aging but she’s looking better than ever – and sexier than ever – as she ages.

    • prettybigkitty

      Is it just me, or does she have a touch of the crazy eyes?

    • NCDFan

      Her body looks fabulous. But enough with the artfully tousled hair.

    • kaycem

      there’s something different about her face…

    • howdoilook

      She’s channeling her “Flintstones” character here, for sure! Me-yow!

    • golspie

      Did she actually play golf? I mean, out on the links and everything? I’d love to see what she wore for that.

    • Rebecca Johnson

      This has a distinct whiff of mutton dressed as lamb. I would never presume to tell anyone (except my best friend – yes, those pants make your butt look huge) how to dress, but the impression she makes with this dress is that she is clinging to her youth like a drowning woman to a life preserver. Not very attractive.

    • poggi

      While she is always beautiful and has the capacity to transform tacky and vulgar clothing into sexy, this seems too obvious and too much. 

    • PaulaBerman

      This dress is god-awful. Even Halle can’t pull it off. It should be burnt in the hottest possible fire.

    • KathKo

      I find it a skosh too tight and I don’t like animal prints.
      That bring out my OCD.

    • nancylee61

      She has amazing skin and really doesn’t age. Great genes and good care. However, when a dress makes Halle Berry looks like she has a belly pouch, that dress is too tight. I would have liked said tacky dress a wee bit looser – not loose, just not painfully tight.

    • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

      Fabulous.  Fierce.  Gorgeous.  Love.Huh.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jane-Morris/1076502799 Jane Morris

      Black don’t crack. Everybody knows that. 

      but that muff outline is really disturbing.

    • tsid2012

      It is a horrible, tacky dress.  She looks amazing in it.  Go figure.

    • ballerinawithagun

      She looks fabulous! The only thing I don’t like–and it may may be a lighting issue–is the way the dress somehow creates pubic hair in the appropriate spot. Weird!

    • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

      She should have played Vixen from the Justice League, not Catwoman.
      http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_bXaGzvnfat8/S4g-jp66bnI/AAAAAAAACcs/47xrfJJ2ljA/s400/vampvixen.JPG

    • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

      Dark spot on the lady bits.  ummm.. no.

    • bluefish

      She looks fantastic and I love the slight hint of tummy on her.  Very sexy.