Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Rihanna in Marchesa

Posted on April 25, 2012

Ri, honey. Your boobs look like they’re trying to fly away.

Rihanna attends the TIME 100 Gala celebrating TIME’S 100 Most Influential People In The World in NYC in a Marchesa dress paired with Christian Louboutin shoes. Jewelry by Wilfredo Rosado.

Marchesa Resort 2012 Collection

And your skirt looks depressed. We don’t know what magic or alchemy causes things like this to happen, but this dress, on you, just goes kinda drab and limp. We don’t lovelovelove it on the model or anything, but it looks at least a little pit perkier on her than on you.

We’re thinking this sort of pseudo-Barbie girl isn’t quite your thing, Ri. Set this dress free on the wind so that a Fanning sister can give it a whirl.

 

[Photo Credit: Fernando Leon/Getty Images for TIME, elle.com]

    • VeryClaire

      It’s not her dress because she stole from a 16 yo on her way to the Prom.

      • Reneesance

        you got to the Prom joke before me!! I think I had this dress cut out and pasted on my wall in 1994. 

        • Paigealicious

           Jessica McClintock FTW

      • JosephLamour

        I don’t think this is anyone’s dress. And this look was like 4 albums ago for her.

        • IMNAngryLiberal

          What you said — I don’t even think the model looks good in this dress.  It is just hideous.

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

        I wore this dress to my year 10 formal in 1989. 

      • nyll18

        I totally wore this dress (minus the boob wings) to homecoming in 1990.

        • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

          Well yes – mine didn’t have the boob wings either. It had a ruched bodice. I had my hair in a French plait and wore nude hose and black kitten heel shoes.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1462762652 Tara Benchina Calise

      The length of the skirt is just sad. It looks like an 80’s prom dress skirt.

      • Pennymac

        And the hem is falling out of its mulletted front. BLECH.

        • kikisayshi

           Thank you! I was wondering if I was seeing things.

    • VeryClaire

      It’s not her dress. She stole it from a 16 yo on the way to the Prom.

    • http://theargiehome.blogspot.com/ Gus Casals

      The runway version is ugly. Ri-ri is doing as much as she can with this mess. Stick to the Versaces, honey!

    • Patricia Gillett

      This is so prom, all that’s missing is a corsage, a commemorative glass mug, and a DJ playing Bully Joel’s “This is the Time.” Also, she’s going to put her date’s eye out with that bodice. 

    • mmgk

      I don’t think this is anyone’s dress.  

      • guestela

         Just what I was about to say!

      • jtabz

         Ditto!

      • http://twitter.com/crush_onyou crush on you

        Yup. Not even the model’s.

    • Corsetmaker

      The skirt is droopy because they’ve lost the panniers from the original version. I don’t particularly like the dress, but I don’t hate it. I don’t think it quite takes the design ideas far enough so it ends up in a failed halfway house. Doesn’t work on her at all.

    • RutGot

      She looks like she knows it’s not her dress. Also, is she having some kind of hem issue in the front of her skirt? It looks like the hem came undone on a section, which is annoying enough when it happens on a cheap Kohl’s dress, but Marchesa?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      Well at least from the neck up she nailed it.  But the dress, shouldn’t be anyone’s dress.  It even looks terrible on the model.

      • HomeOfficeGirl

        Agreed – she finally looks really pretty with the hair and make up.  Too bad…

      • http://www.wordydoodles.com WordyDoodles

         Yes! Thank you for commenting on that. I had a hard time getting all down on the dress when her hair and makeup looked so beautiful. And I think the color of the dress, at least, is working for her.

      • butterflysunita

        She looks gorgeous–love that the dark hair is back.  That Marchesa dress is ugly, though.  

    • lilibetp

      I think the model is about 6 inches taller than Rihanna.  And it looks like Rihanna isn’t wearing the appropriate support garments for the skirt.  Panniers?

    • Sobaika Mirza

      Anyone else reminded of the robot-boob-gun-things from Austin Powers?

      • carolynmo

        Yes! That’s exactly what I was thinking when I saw this!

      • Anathema_Device

         I was thinking 1950s Cadillac tail fins, but you nailed it with the lethal fembot boobs.

    • schadenfreudelicious

      in an effort to look less edgy for tonight’s event, Rihanna finally gets to repurpose that junior bridesmaids dress…..

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/PKI5RTEEJ5TZIZII6VEN2G3D7A Caitlin

      I think it would have also looked better without all the red in the background. It throws the look off.

    • Pants_are_a_must

      On the other hand, the make up is good.

    • http://twitter.com/TheRedZavodnik Ginger

      It looks like a Marchesa dress threw up on a Vivienne Westwood dress.

      Oh, and Marchesa and Rhianna are 2 names that do not belong in the same hemisphere, much less the same sentence.

      • malvernite

        curious about your second sentence. what do u mean?

        • http://twitter.com/TheRedZavodnik Ginger

          Rihanna is such an edgy person, style-wise, and Marchesa, traditionally, is such a confectionary design house.  Putting her in Marchesa is such an odd choice…and not really a good odd.  It’s just my personal opinion, of course. =)

    • elfbrick

      1980’s prom dress for the devil’s date.

    • Scarlet39

      I would dare to say that this is nobody’s dress! 

      And her makeup is horrible.

    • http://twitter.com/Elizabethann1 Elizabeth Denton

      I’m going to have dreams about this dress. Love it! BUT it really only works without boobs so no Ri (or me). 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1248212910 Jessie Melcher Brown

      Love the new hair (hated the roots are showing dye job she had before) this looks so much more polished.
      Don’t care for the dress, it looks like a bridesmaid or prom thing.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1248212910 Jessie Melcher Brown

      Love the new hair (hated the roots are showing dye job she had before) this looks so much more polished.
      Don’t care for the dress, it looks like a bridesmaid or prom thing.

    • jenno1013

      Yet another failed Marchesa “architectural” dress.  Those wings are saying, “If you’re taller than me, you can stand next to me and see the entirety of my boobs.”

    • aumerle9

      The boobs horns look like the evil queen’s headdress in “Sleeping Beauty.”

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=610791985 Aniela Marie Perry

        Ahh I was just going to say that! Malificent’s hat boobs! Hate this dress, no love for Marchesa here…

    • jw_ny

      lmao!  This dress is so bad on her that it’s funny…not a dress for most women, or even any.  She’s usually pushes the envelope and often makes missteps with her fashion choices, but I still find it difficult to believe that even she thought this looked good. 

      As per usual, I have issues with her hair. 

    • RzYoung

      She’s totally not convinced either is she? Way to sell a look, Ri.

    • nannypoo

      Bad on the model, worse on Rihanna. The Fannings are too smart to fall for this catastrophe.

    • nannypoo

      Bad on the model, worse on Rihanna. The Fannings are too smart to fall for this catastrophe.

    • MissAnnieRN

      Georgina Chapman is tripping on acid.  And designing during her flashbacks.  That’s the only logical explanation for this.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/K3O2QNXDJIU3AJINAGNJRYWDZ4 mrspotts66

      “Bad on the model, worse on Rihanna.”  and AWFUL against that tomato red backdrop.  ugh.
      but you know what?  i don’t have to wear it.  so it’s all good.

      i think if she had actually smiled, it would have gone a long way to improving the whole look.

      • malvernite

        another website has pictures of her smiling. she attended this event with her mother.

    • BeeBeauNYC

      Thank God her hair is normal.

    • crash1212

      A’int nobody’s dress! Like the hair color and earrings though!

    • GorgeousThings

      The hem is falling down, that’s part of what makes it look depressing. And that bodice thing looks like Georgina was inspired by the carapace of her entree at a clambake.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JSGAZPEESHQT47ATH55GNOHHBY Erin

      Bibbity bobbity boo!

    • MilaXX

      Not a good look. Nothing is working; hair is limp, makeup is bad and shoes are boring. This looks like a bad prom picture.

    • pookiesmom

      I’m not convinced that this dress would look good on anyone. I actually think she looks better than the model, but I still am not loving it.

    • Anathema_Device

      Wow, and the hem is coming down, too, from the looks of things. The boob tail fins look a a little droopy, too. Sort of a sad look all the way around.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1344314000 Anne Meek White

      At least the hair is a normal color…kudos for that one.

    • Terence Ng

      At least her hair is back to normal…

    • TheOriginalLulu

      Hm. Not a lover of that pink, but I have to admit it’s a good color for her. Too bad that thing looks more like a shitty prom dress than a dress that should be worn by a gorgeous, wealthy, internationally famous woman.

    • Little_Olive

      She does not look like she´s convinced of the look either… What’s the matter, Ri? couldn’t get your hands on a Vivienne Westwood and had to settle for the next (best) boob treatment?

    • guest2visits

      Kind of funny; Rihanna’s looking bored in her bridesmaid dress. So much nonchalance that her dress is also too lazy to stay
      on straight. This is an odd dress anyway. Too bad the bottom didn’t end evenly just above the knee. The skirt is just too weird.
      Pretty hair and make-up.

    • Mexxoo

      Poor girl!  She just wants to have a Pretty-Pretty-Princess moment!

    • marilyn

      This dress is too big for her and it needs sassy shoes. However, the color is good for her, and I have to admire how many times she changes her hair color in a week. And it looks good. If she is going to get to borrow (or keep) free clothes, she should insist that they be the right size.

    • kimmeister

      It is kind of nice to see her looking demure, for once.

    • erinbinek

      She looks like a tired prom queen.

    • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

      It’s her color, though.

    • BrooklynBomber

      Barbie is exactly what I thought, too. Freaky!

    • Lina_bee

       Did she rip the hem out of the lining? The bubbleskirt effect from the model shot is totally broken. Weird.

    • Sweetvegan

      The model is wearing some kind of undergarment that makes the hips flare out, so the skirt is more poufy and dramatic. On Rihanna, it looks like a deflated balloon because she is not wearing a modified hoop skirt underneath.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3AJ237ND3GAHDQJZ4TLCO4WLRA Emily

      Too bad because I love the color on her. 

    • unbornfawn

      At first I didn’t recognize her with that lovely semi-natural hair color. I almost forgive the prom dress.

    • http://twitter.com/stopENtalk Brittany Johnstone

      That isn’t anyone’s dress, sadly. Love the color on her though!

    • granddelusion

      I don’t think that’s anyone’s dress. Built to make every body look bad.

    • Sophie Collier

       Maleficent’s prom dress.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/ZFKRECRF5BOBWB4RXAJGI4D6KA mmc

      I think the dress was designed to hang on the perfectly posed, immobile model, and to be photographed only from the direct front angle.  Otherwise, it’s a mess.

    • Lina_bee

      Freaking Marchesa.

    • Ana_ragu

      and the hem is falling down!!
       

    • another_laura

      Bad dress.  The prom and Barbie jokes have all been taken, so I’ll just leave it at bad dress.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/JO2ZPMWZR7BENRHIQ7DYGJP2HQ Melanie

      Has the photo been reversed, or does she really have backwards writing on her shoulder?  What does it say?

      • holdmewhileimnaked

        ibid. i was wondering too…..

      • alyce1213

        The background orientation is correct, so I guess the writing under her clavicle is backwards.

    • TSkot

      Looks like the beginning of an ugly step-sister dress for a production of Cinderella.  Comical on anybody.

    • Susan Crawford

      It looks as though the hemline has come down in front, no? I love the color on Rihanna, and her hair and makeup look great. But yes, this is not her dress. Not with those dangerous-looking breasticles, at any rate.

    • holdmewhileimnaked

      i think she stepped on her hem.
      the sad truth is that she may have worn those perfectly dreadful &, in an even truer truth, sensible looking shoes specifically so such a mishap would not mis-happen but, boy, apparently & sadly, she miscalculated. too bad too cos i dont think it’s so much not her dress as not her ensemble, especially when placed in front of what is, today, not her wall. w/ better shoes & a holding hem i believe she coulda & woulda right perked up.

    • MmmmmmmmK

      “…if only my boobs had horns…”

    • tbk2

      Her hem is falling in the front. She’s a bit of a mess.

    • http://twitter.com/ennisamy Amy Ennis

      I’m just so glad she’s a brunette again. I hated that blonde. 

    • Daenyx

      I’m pretty sure that abomination isn’t anyone’s dress.  O.o

    • PaulaBerman

      This is worse than Malin Akerman… it looks like she’s going to the prom in 1987. Hideous.

    • alyce1213

      Crappy Marchesa dress.  There are some women who could make this dress look better, but this dress couldn’t make any woman look good.

    • choco

      I actually don’t hate this…it’s kind of sci-fi. As long as the picture is taken from the right angle (of which I agree, there are few), I think it looks half high fashion, half cosplay. 

    • ChristySchiff

      Didn’t i see that dress in an 80s music video?

    • EEKstl

      The boobicorn bodice is terribly distracting, and not in a good way.

    • ErmengardeGreen

      100 Most Influential People In The Woooorld! What did Ahmedinejad wear? 

    • sleah_in_norcal

      that is just awful.  so she went with awful hair to complete the look.  it’s even awful on the model.

      and by the look on her face, she knows it.

    • bitterk

      She looks like she is headed to the prom.  The hair is scarier than the dress.  

    • lilazander

      That is a one fugly dress and and the person in it does not help.