Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Dakota Fanning

Posted on April 27, 2012

Dakota, OHMIGOD, STOP. JUST STOP IT.

 

Dakota Fanning attends the 6th annual DKMS Linked Against Blood Cancer Gala in NYC in an Elie Saab couture gown paired with Rupert Sanderson shoes and a Jimmy Choo bag.

Elie Saab Fall 2011 Couture Collection/Model: Ruby Aldridge (NEXT)

Who told her to pick dresses that match her hair color? Because we would like to take that person and shake them very roughly. Dakota, honey, we don’t know how many times we have to say this to you: BUT THIS IS NOT YOUR COLOR. Even if it IS your hair color. You look like a skin-colored ghost, sweetie. Were you attacked by a bright color as a child? Are you actually colorblind and think you’re wearing a hot pink right now? What is it, Dakota? What causes you to pick these beautiful dresses in colors that look horrible on you? Do you not own a mirror? Is all the lighting in your home very low?

Sweetie, box this dress up and send it to, we don’t know, J Lo or  Kerry Washington; someone who won’t look jaundiced while wearing it. And if you love it so much, ask for a different color. A REAL color, like red or purple or blue. No more of these toenail-colored dresses, girl. They’re not for you.

[Photo Credit:  Getty Images, elle.com]

    • hughman

      I admire her devotion to the cause of being against Blood Cancer by apparently not having any blood in her body. 

      • Clueless_Jock

        LOL.

      • DinaSews

        OMG.  Hilarious.

        • rketeckt

          BWAH HAHAHA!  *snort*

      • rketeckt

        BWAH HAHAHAHAHA!  *snort*

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1401197785 Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

        I truly did just laugh out loud.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1316070988 Roey Thorpe

        Too funny!  It’s hard to imagine bringing the glamour in front of a wall telling you to Get Swabbed.

    • Anathema_Device

      Poor thing looks guilty. Like she is taking a fashion crime mug shot. Which, well, yeah…

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        Oh how I have missed you. This made me bark out loud in the lunchroom at work.

        • Nelliebelle1197

           You have a lunchroom at work?? I have a copyroom with a microwave.

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

            Yep, course it also doubles as the meeting room if there’s a staff meeting, and sometimes even a stock room when we have really heavy stock in store, like during the Holiday season.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_64HSRZWCSJ5RBFGCWDLFQOICYM G

      Maybe her uncles are getting through to her.  She does not look happy.

    • http://twitter.com/watchinginkdry Dr Skylaser

      It’s a beautiful dress, and it does make her eyes pop.  Because they’re the only color in sight. . .

      • http://twitter.com/bredalot Bridget Smith

        How pretty would she look if this dress were the same color as her eyes?

        • ballerinawithagun

          Yes, blue gray would have been wonderful!

      • Nonnah

         Did you notice the gold/yellow eye shadow?

    • TheOriginalLulu

      It’s true, Dakota! TLo would never steer you wrong.
      These drab colors do nothing for you.
      I also think that this is just Not Your Dress. It’s beautiful and all, but it’s not as good on you as it should be. Definitely send this one to Halle Berry or JLo.

    • Lina_bee

      That is a gorgeous dress that needs a wearer with completely different coloring, yes. Also, it can be really hard to dress girls in that awkward age 17-21 phase, where they’ve lost the teenage gazelle look but haven’t settled into an adult woman’s figure yet. I vote for jackets and skirts, and jewel tones.

      • DinaSews

        She is the same age as my son and I can tell you that none of the girls in his class look this bad.  Some of them may look like hookers on prom night, but not one of them would put on a fancy dress and leave the house with their hair like this.

      • Melissa Brogan

         She would have looked great in this exact dress in almost literally any other hue. (Of course, then I’d have to complain that her hair looks sad, but whatever.)

        • mountainFashionista

           And her abysmal posture and general “ohgodwhatamidoinghere?” body language…

        • SheWhoMustBeObeyed

           And don’t forget the utter and complete lack of any makeup.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=558631967 Ivona Foster

      That hair! What is it with the two of them? Do something with the hair already…

      • megohd

        And some makeup, please. She looks like she’s at a fitting, not an event.

    • dress_up_doll

      I’d love to see this child in something coral or aquamarine for a change.

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

      Dakota, that is not your hair and makeup.

    • queeniethebold

      “Toenail-colored”! Bahaha! Perfect.

      And what’s with wearing a beautiful couture gown and its accoutrements, but, like, zero makeup and yawnworthy hair?

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1326120071 Gaby Ripoll

        She’s wearing matching gold (jaundiced) makeup, which only worsens the effect. 

    • erinbinek

      What a shame.  She ruined a perfectly beautiful dress.  A beautiful dress that belongs to Halle Berry.  Tsk.

    • Scarlet39

      She looks like a big bowl of oatmeal.

    • Sara__B

      The color is awful on her, and her awkward teen posture, hair, and expression make it even worse.

    • schadenfreudelicious

      Dishwater blonde…hair and dress….

    • Judy_S

      Aside from how bad the color is on her, whose dress is this exactly? I can see it on Liz Taylor in the  50s, maybe, in a b/w film. But it looks like it was made from my mother’s living-room and dining-room curtains (all needed to get the floaty layers), with the chandelier raided to decorate the bodice.

    • Louise Bryan

      So you don’t like nude shoes, eh?  Well, how about nude ballgowns?

    • holdmewhileimnaked

      maybe she likes looking like a ghost?
      i know i would occasionally do.

    • http://twitter.com/BookcaseHat Emily

      This dress does such awkward things to her bust. Sad.

    • TieDye64

      Maybe she should go the goth route. Go all extreme Wednesday Adams on us. At least it would be more interesting than this coma inducing blandness. 

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      AND,…Dakota, dear, you do not wear your hair as though you just finished bowling 4 gutter balls at the local 12 lane bowling alley when you are wearing a full length gown. It makes your neck go on vacation. I mean this with love, hon. Listen to your uncles T and Lo. They are wise in the ways of these things.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      The first shot, from the neck up, is total mug shot.  

    • DominoEstella

      she always looks like she has the stomach flu.. about to throw up or pass out.  

    • Call me Bee

      Yeah–first rule of dressing as a blonde: no clothes the same color as your skin, be they beige, baby pink or taupe. None. Ever. (Not to mention that this dress is way too mature for her… )
      Hopefully she’s trainable….

    • jenno1013

      Why does she appear to be pressing her upper arms into her torso?  Like not only her dress but her body language are trying to make her invisible.  If you’re going to wear a gown with a bodice like that, you shouldn’t be trying to disappear.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ginny-Ellsworth/534496198 Ginny Ellsworth

        I noticed this as well.. In her last few pictures that I have seen, she looks like she is holding her upper body very rigidly. And unfortunately she doesn’t look very happy. Too bad. She should be having the time of her life at this point in time with people throwing clothes, bags and jewelry at her. What a great chance to try new things and experiment with looks and gorgeous clothes. I hope she gets to relax and play….maybe dying her hair squirrel green? She really is lovely and doesn’t look invested in herself.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=690834251 Ann Smith

          What’s squirrel green?!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=690834251 Ann Smith

        I think she thinks this arm clenching/torso move equals standing up straight.  But it doesn’t.  And in the second photo from the bottom, she looks like she’s falling asleep from the neck up! So, maybe this is a way to stay awake?!  She definitely is giving off the vibe of ENOUGH PHOTOS already!!!  which is sad, because it is a lovely dress.  Just not her lovely dress.  

      • CT14

        Seriously.  It’s like she’s terrified the top will fall off or something.  She’s completely uncomfortable looking.  The model looks better not just because of coloring but because she’s *moving* and her arms are not attached to her body, so you can see a shape.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=601016544 Amy J Albin

      LOL…. toenail colored. Perfect description!

    • janetjb

      At least she has the good sense to look miserable too.

    • MilaXX

      Seriously, she reminds me of that movie Powder. 
      Why is she so afraid of color?

    • http://www.facebook.com/WendyLKaufman Wendy Kaufman

      Well, it COULD be her dress if she had bothered with hair and makeup. It looks like she is playing dress-up with mommy’s clothes. But seriously, that’s probably the hardest color on earth to pull off. It looks so pretty and etherial, but only on the hanger. The kids is gorgeous, but WTF dresses her?

      • elleg929

        Exactly!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Micaela-Cannon/1465504041 Micaela Cannon

      also, you’re wearing a gown that dramatic and that’s the hair and make up route you take? really?

    • Cathy S

      She needs to talk clothes with Chloe Moretz.

    • BazoDee

      You guys crack me up. Well said. Totally agree! 

    • Melissa Brogan

      The dress looks fab on the model, but she’s also got different color hair and totally different lighting. Another shade and a real hairstyle next time, maybe?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=2066192 Melissa Mellon

      Fancy burial shroud!

    • JasmineAM

      PLEASE GET RID OF THE YELLOW HAIR! It’s not flattering AT ALL.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1326120071 Gaby Ripoll

        THIS. I hesitated to say it because all the Fannings are blonde and maaaaaaybe it’s natural but this brassy blonde is not flattering. I feel like she’d look so refreshing if she added some low-lights or even just went for another color entirely, like brown or even red. But her hair looks like a wig as is, and a synthetic one at that. 

    • guest2visits

      If she’s going to wear these beautiful transparent gowns; then she’s going to have to wear it bravely. Like the model.
      Shoulders back, chin up, hair swept up, alittle sparkle in her ears, some grown-up make-up (other than cherry-lip gloss);
      and maybe some attitude.  And if she’s that tiny; then maybe this dress needs to be shorter so she doesn’t look so lost.
      I wouldn’t give up on that Elie Saab for anything.  I would have someone punch me in the arms just for color.
      Listen up, pretty girl.

    • jilly_d

      “attacked by a bright color”, “toenail colored” – LOLZ.  thanks boys.  Dakota girl, get yourself an eyebrow wax and a $7 tube of mascara. 

      • Rebecca Jay

        And some lip color and some powder.  A smile and some life behind those dead eyes too, thanks.

        Dang, she’s creepy looking.

        • jilly_d

          It’s sad because she really is beautiful, but if she’s wearing any makeup, it’s not doing her any favors.   my makeup looks better than this when it’s been slept in after a night of boozing.  tsk.

    • sagecreek

      “Toenail-colored”. And people wonder why I adore you!

    • rketeckt

      Well.  Now we know whatever happened to Baby Jane.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1326120071 Gaby Ripoll

      I am appalled that not only did she pick a dress that washes her out, she also picked all gold accessories and GOLD EYESHADOW.

      I myself have been known to enjoy a matchy-matched or even monochromatic outfit on occasion, but when the base color is not doing you any favors, YOU DO NOT DOUBLE DOWN.

      Yeesh. 

    • http://twitter.com/Merneith Merneith

      Also – oily skin is not cute. It’s time to be a grown up and put on some face.

    • aimee_parrott

      LOL… toenail color.  So true.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/URGJGGSQIBGBMQ3G72VBF45JBQ Kelly

      She’s doing the “I’m not sure if I remembered to put on deodorant/shave my pits” pose with the arms pressed so tightly up against her body.  Also she needs broader shoulders for this dress.

    • MzzPants

      Soft pastels would be better than this.  And has she forsaken grooming?  Because I just can’t with the stringy hair.

      • Snailstsichr

        And the shiny face.

    • butter nut

      it’s going to consume her like the blob.

    • quiltrx

      “Toenail-colored” was apparently the password for getting ice cream to snort out my nose.  Thanks, guys!

    • Pennymac

      My mother had nicotine stained sheer curtains that were that exact color!

    • nannypoo

      She’s a pretty young woman who should be having fun with fashion, and instead she dresses as though she’d like to be invisible. Another fun product is makeup. She should try some.

    • kikisayshi

      This looks like a completely different dress on her than the one on the runway (which I think is pretty fab). And what’s with the dumpy hair? She is so cute but doesn’t know how to show it.

    • crash1212

      And while you’re finding dresses that are not toe-nail colored (hilarious!), maybe look into SOME DAMN LIPSTICK!

    • PaulaBerman

      Why is she standing like someone is about to throw a bucket of ice water on her?

      • PeaceBang

        I was thinking, “Carrie Pose.”

    • bellafigura1

      That kid looks stoned!

    • http://twitter.com/Lola99959 Veronika Kaufmann

      The dress is awful in any color for anyone under 65. 

    • ChaquitaPhilly

      and she looks so scared and sad as if she knew…

    • Beth G

      Part of the problem is that it ISN’T her natural hair color.  She’s got “cool” skin color and that blonde is “warm”… which is just… bad….  she needs darker hair and CLOTHES WITH COLOR.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/2LIE6ISFQUBIAO7OB6U5TAVXXQ Depot'er

      Am I the only one who thinks this ages her 20 (30?) years? I can imagine some not-quite-over-the-hill type in this at a Golden Globes event (with a boring tux next to it). The 5th picture looks frighteningly ‘Lohanish’… Intervention- STAT!

    • P M

      Why is she wearing wallpaper and a drop cloth? Was there a home decor theme at this event??
      Oh wait, that’s not wallpaper. Well, it looked like it on my screen.

    • marilyn

      The overall effect is that she is on the way to her prom.  SHe is not mature enough to carry off that dress.

    • Monabel

      “Toenail-colored dresses” – thank you!

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/K3O2QNXDJIU3AJINAGNJRYWDZ4 mrspotts66

      toenail colored dresses.  < >

    • ccm800

      WHAT the hell is that dress doing to her neck??? She looks post strangle!!!!!!!

    • PeaceBang

      *shriek* TOENAIL COLORED! YES! She’s serving up MOB nightmare realness in that, and her hair, face, eyebrows and posture are a mess.

    • librarygrrl64

      Victorian wraith.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EDI2DLE7DE3YPW2ONIHBWOVHMA ecallaw

      Ha, toenail-colored–perfect description.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_26QG22FL4HVT7ZA46F4EE4UEXY amyw

      She looks strangely like Chloë Sevigny here. 

    • Susan Crawford

      Little Miss Havisham.

    • http://www.facebook.com/tim.barnes.1671897 Tim Barnes

      might not be her dress but she looks absolutely fabulous in in…..just like anything else she wears…she just plain out beautiful..and the most talented actress going today…i give her two thumbs up and if i could i would give her an oscar….you’re just wonderful don’t change a thing just keep up your great work……i enjoy watching your movies more than any other actresses or actors…you’re the best just keep it up