Brooklyn Decker in Femme D’armes

Posted on April 06, 2012

Dear Brooklyn Decker,

 

Brooklyn Decker attends the premiere of “Battleship” in South Korea in a Femme D’armes dress.

Femme D’armes Spring 2012 Collection

 

Congratulations. You are an early contender for The Least Flattering Dress of 2012. We are especially enamored by its ability to make you look at least 3 sizes larger from the back than you do from the front. The way the back is cut out like a gaping maw combined with the giant ass pad make you look like a brick from behind, while in front, the faux bra and cooch pad give the impression that you are … well, blind, really.

A design marvel, no doubt.

We will keep you apprised of future developments on your ranking. As you know, there are many more months and many more opportunities for ladystars to wear unflattering dresses. For now, take comfort that you are in the lead.

Fondle,

T Lo

P.S. For the sake of your dignity, please get back in your limo and go home.

 

[Photo Credit: Getty, femmedarmes.com]

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