Victoria Beckham for Harper’s Bazaar UK

Posted on March 29, 2012

Vicki Posh straps on some swimsuits and slathers on the eye makeup for Harper’s UK.


Victoria Beckham featured in the March 2012 issue of Harper’s Bazaar UK magazine photographed by Camilla Akrans.

Oh, and apparently Patsy Stone wrote her copy:

On her body: “Maybe my tummy isn’t as tight as it used to be, but I’ve got four amazing kids, and that’s what really matters.”

What it’s like to go to bed with David Beckham. “Of course getting in to bed with David Beckham every night after having four kids, you know…[cue eye-roll of resigned self-deprecation]- but I’ve come to the conclusion that David is getting older as well. I’m not trying to fight it.”

That Vicki Posh. She’s ALL ABOUT the natural beauty and aging gracefully. We look forward to future statements about the importance of podiatrist-approved footwear and how she prefers a life of quiet solitude and simple comforts.

Prada Spring 2012 Collection


We joke because we love. She looks great and we love the retro styles on her. They suit her perfectly.


[Photo Credit: Camilla Akrans for,]

    • ccm800

      They really do suit her. 

      • LARAE

        @terpsichory:disqus my Ćo-wôrker’s śister makes $64/hôûr ôń the internet. Śhe has bęęn ûnęmṗlôyęd ḟôr ḟivê mônths bût last monṫh hêr Ćhêck was $17661 jusṫ workińg oń ṫhê ińṫêrńêṫ ḟor a ḟew hours. Here’s ṫhe siṫe ṫo read

    • holdmewhileimnaked

      oy vey, the last one’s careening headlong into the scary end of thinspo.

      • nomoreprinces

        Blame the photoshopping which is oh so apparent on the waist and thigh of the swimsuit where they cloned out the seams, shadows, and all the texture from the fabric along the edges.  

        • holdmewhileimnaked

          that, & the hipbones.

          • Taija HU!

            Then again, when she seems to be pushing her hips out weirdly. Even my hipbones would be showing slightly if I were doing that, and I weigh about three Victorias. 😉

            • brokephilosopher

              oh my goodness, what a great unit of weight.  now how do I use that in every day speech?

        • iibii

          I really don’t think she is normal and photoshop is to blame for her body

    • jw_ny

      Oh Vicky, a seam right down the center!?  That poor model has an unfortunate case of camel toe.  😉

    • MilaXX

      Love that first suit!  Oh that I could afford it.

    • MK03

      These are fabulous, but in what world is this functional swimwear?? You can’t even hang out by the pool in these. One splash and they’re ruined.

    • Kate4queen

      I’ve had 4 kids and I sure as hell don’t look like that or get to go to bed with Becks every night LOL but good for her.

    • mjude

      i love the look, so very esther williams.

    • Roxana Chircu

      is she really talking about her tummy not being as tight as it used to? because from what i can see in these photos of her in bathing suits… it’s pretty tight.

      anyway, i love the b&w photo and she sure doesn’t look like a busy mother of four

    • Jill_3

       Is it wrong that I love her? Because I do. I love her. I saw her and Becks driving through Beverly Hills once and just about died.

      • CPK1

         I love her too!

    • marilyn

      She looks like one of the meanest people on the Earth.  The retro suits may be good for women who don’t want to expose their midriffs, which is okay.  I just don’t think she is as important as she thinks she is.  Modeling these suits are nice, but not earthshaking.  Yet, she looks like she is taking this to be THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ON EARTH. 

    • newleaf1

      Love these suits!  Wish I could find a high waisted two piece like that, that didn’t look like something my grandma would wear.

    • Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      Gorgeous, but the hip bones in the last shot are freaking me out.  No need to suck in girlfriend. You look fab.

    • BookishBren

      “Maybe my tummy isn’t as tight as it used to be, but I’ve got four amazing kids, and that’s what really matters.” Oh, you poor fat bitch. *eyeroll*

      I actually do j’adore her but drop the whole “my body’s gone to hell” routine. Bitch, please. 

    • Judy_J

      “Maybe my tummy isn’t as tight as it used to be”……what was it before, concave? I don’t see an ounce of fat on her.

    • NDC_IPCentral

      I see a Playboy Bunny in the yellow fabric and gray straps….   And now all of you will, too.

    • Dejah_Thoris

      So, how much does a Prada swimsuit cost, and do people actually wear them to swim in the uncouth water? How does one wash a Prada swimsuit? Baby tears and penguin down scrub-brushes? Then rinse with rainbow mist and hang dry off of a Michelangelo statue?

      • introspective

        Thank you for my first snort of the day!

    • Kiltdntiltd

      Oh, (giggling), you guys make me, (snorting out my soup), just,….I’m DYIN’ here I’m laughing so hard.

    • j_anson

      Oh, yeah, I can clearly see how her stomach has just deteriorated there. Man. I can barely look at it.

    • Scott Isaacs

      Yes, and she loves collecting things, surrounding herself with gorgeous things, and her interviewer is amazed at how young she looks…particularly after her full-strength sulfuric acid face job. TLo, you called it: Pure Patsy Stone. Hoarktastic.

      Not sure if she’s really sucking in her abdomen on the last shot. With someone as slender as Posh, if she’s laying down, her belly woudl just naturally fall earthward due to gravity.

      Second shot: pretty damned awesome. And it gives me indigestion to type that…I am not a fan of Vicki B’s. At. All. But (begrudgingly), props where props are due.

    • terpsichory

      Vicki Posh straps on some swimsuits

      Yeah, I see what you did there…

    • Ros Clarke

      They do look good, but, um, that’s a less tight tummy? 

    • librarygrrl64

      “Oh, and apparently Patsy Stone wrote her copy.” You. Are. So. Awesome.

    • BrooklynBomber

      I was moved to tears. That poor woman.


        Seriously, such a brave woman for proudly exposing her severely disfigured stomach after having 4 children and having to get into bed with David Beckham at night. Tonight, we pour one for our bitches in heaven…*weeps*

        • BrooklynBomber

          But you know, she triumphs in the end. Honestly, how many people, facing such tragic circumstances, would have the strength of character, the sheer chutzpah, to accept it all — much less to have an epiphany, as she did, about what really matters? 

          • mixedupfiles

             She does have her cross to bear. She can’t show her feet, because they’re disfigured.

            • BrooklynBomber

              She’s a regular Lifetime Movie heroine.

            • emeazul

               but, she does have to HEAR David Beckham’s voice EVERY DAY! (grasping at Posh’s leg-straws here!)

    • nancylee61

      Oh, look!!! Posh has her usual puss-face on!!! She is the most miserable looking woman in the world. How can one have so much and look so miserable all of the time?? Puss face Posh.

      • LambeeBaby

         If you have ever seen her smile, you would know why she has a Puss face. Her mouth gets all “wonky” and Franken-posh.

    • abigail3

      What a strange cover shot. Why is she showing us her armpit?

    • quiltrx

      Gee, she’s almost as down to earth as Gwyneth Paltrow.


      • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

        OH I love you for saying that. 

    • Alisa Rivera

      You’ll notice her tummy is covered in all shots and she’s posed with her back arched, which minimizes the stomach. So apparently Posh, the stylist or both really do believe that her tummy is less than perfect. 

      • Paula Berman

        Not positive, but maybe she has a C-section scar?  That tends to be right at the bikini line, which would explain the granny briefs she’s wearing. Euphemistically referring to that a “not a tight tummy” is a bit obnoxious, though. Her tummy is tighter than mine has ever been, and I used to be a size 0 before my kid. I don’t get into bed every night with yucky old eye-rolling inducing David Beckham either, so…

    • NurseEllen

      I don’t care one whit about Vicky Posh, or her suits, or her bod, or her husband or kids, but the BKs here at TLo Snarky Minions International, Inc., are making me laugh so hard I’ve forgotten my headache.  Bravos all around and a Pulitzer for the year’s highest achievement in editorial commentary to everyone here, and a “snaps up” to TLo for the inspiration. Y’all are better than Excedrin!

    • crystal76
    • Kathleen B

      I wish we could see the blue bikini pre photoshop. sheesh

    • korilian

      OMG look how flabby and gross her belly is after four kids!
      Seriously, even the model has more of a belly than Posh does! (though that’s probably due to the position she’s in).  

    • Laylalola

      She’s grown on me. But the Prada swimsuit on the runway — that thing looks awful and I can’t imagine anyone could swim in it or get it wet.

      • Nelliebelle1197

         It really does look like a cheap Gretchen crafts piece from a particularly bad episode of PR

    • miagain

      As a swimmer, I always chuckle over these fancy shmancy swimsuits… can’t help wondering what a couple of laps would do to some of these…. and then there’s the chlorine…HA!!!

      • sashaychante

        I totally agree.  What’s the purpose of these swimsuits?  I don’t understand them.  Perhaps it’s just a take on lingerie to wear in public?

    • Laylalola

      I do kind of marvel that this couple has four biological children — that’s pretty unusual these days, even when neither parent is a celebrity. She’s hilariously over-the-top, of course, but still, I mean I do have to hand it to her. 

    • Beth G

      Very Liz Taylor….

    • TheOriginalLulu

      Haha. I never realized she was such a comedienne. Yeah, she’s such a disgusting slob. I don’t know how Becks does it.

      She does look great here, as usual. LOVE the makeup in that cover shot. 

      • Melissa Brogan

         I’m sure you’re being sarcastic, but she actually is pretty funny. I wouldn’t be surprised if Victoria’s being sarcastic herself in those little blurbs.

    • bluefish

      She does look pretty fabu indeed.  We have a word in Brasil for the opposite of a woman who is “simpatica.”  Posh is really really “antipatica” in her photo faces — so, you know, you’re left to wonder if she’s really a pill or not.  LOVE the third green swimsuit.  Re the plastic surgery thing, I’ve always admired Cher for noting years ago that “they’re my t*ts and I can strap them to my back if I want to.”  (Is she suggesting in her sly posh way that Beckham is letting her down in her, you know, totally downhome boudoir?  TMI, girl.)

      • J MN

        I think she was saying his nut sack isn’t as tight + high as it once was – he’s aging too.  

    • Veronika Kaufmann

      why is she wearing Prada when she has her own label? I mean, you’d think she’d want to promote it as much as possible. Not that I’d ever buy anything ‘designed’ by her. Ever. 

    • Vic

      She was witty in Victoria Beckham Coming to America. She called everything “major” as she toddled around in her 6 inch heels, even in a bathing suit. 

      It was her scenes with that douche bag Perez Hilton that won me over completely and I have been a fan of hers ever since. Posh is funny as hell, as her self-deprecating statements about her aging self and David attest.

    • Linderella

      I’m sorry, but her appeal is forever lost on me.  She needs a cheeseburger and some smiling lessons.
      Good taste in husbands, though, I’ll give her that.

    • l3icest3r

      This is the best she’s ever looked. Reto style suits her.

    • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

      I just have always hated her.  Bullshit comments about her “tummy” don’t help.  For fuck’s sake, eat something and smile for once.

    • Basil Von Broccoli

      “I’ve come to the conclusion that David is getting older as well.”
      I have no knowledge of her research methods, but I look forward to reading the study.

    • suzq

      Hey, I lose my middle-age tummy when I lie flat, too! 

      I love the retro styles and that first suit is spectacular without being the least bit vulgar.  In fact, all of these are quite flattering.  I’d definitely becoming a big fan of Vicky B’s.

    • frankystein123

      At least these outfits actually make her breasts look natural.