Salma Hayek Shows Us How It’s Done

Posted on March 02, 2012

Salma Hayek attends the Balenciaga Fall 2012 show in Paris and gives a master class on how to pose for candid shots. Starlets, watch a pro.

First, the “Oh! There are cameras here! I had no idea!” faux-surprise look. Hold this for a good two minutes. In real life, you’ll look stupid, but the pictures will look great. Remember: eyes wide, mouth open. You’ll look endearingly self-conscious and sexy at the same time. After a few minutes of this, it’s time to switch things up.

Break out the over-the-shoulder sultry look to get the photogs worked up without looking like you’re trying too hard. Clench your teeth but keep your lips parted. You will look fierce and a little furious, as if you find this whole thing quite upsetting, but also a little sexually arousing.

When you know you’ve got them in the palm of your hand and it’s time to give them the walking away shot, that’s when you deploy …

THE MUTHAFUCKIN HAIRFLIP, BITCHES.

Then, walk away, giving them plenty of opportunities to photograph your ass. Look off into the distance as if you see someone there that you simply must dash off and speak to.

That’s how a STAR does it, bitches.

Balenciaga Giant Envelope Gold Hamilton Bag

 

Oh! And don’t forget to make sure they get a shot of your bag!

 

[Photo Credit:WireImage, barneys.com ]

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      She looks great.  Finally!

      • Sobaika Mirza

        Indeed! FINALLY!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=12801074 Brett Hulst

      That is how I walk into my office every day.  Just in case.

      • guestela

         Don’t we all?

        • Amy Fee Garner

          Of course!  That’s why it’s important to get going a little earlier — don’t need to be late on top of that.  I usually work in a “glancing at designer watch” shot or two before I do the walk at the end.

      • tsid2012

        Please!  I walk my dog in the park this way.  With the added “bend, pick up the poop & snap” move for good measure.  It’s hot….

        • TheOriginalLulu

          OMG it’s the bend and snap! WORKS EVERY TIME!!

          • brokephilosopher

            the “pick up the poop” really adds an extra OOMPH

    • CPK1

      hahaha. The paparazzi masterclass! The hairflip is spectacular (it helps to have her hair and expert blowdry)

    • bloggertobenamedlater

      Love it. I’m going to try this in court today and see if it works for lawyers. While I’m waiting for my turn to argue I’ll just stand and pose. The hair flip will be hard since it’s up, but I’ll improvise. 

      • BrooklynBomber

        Simple. You stand up, remove your glasses, reach up to pull out the pencil* holding your hair up, and shake your head slowly from side to side. It’s worked for television librarians for decades. Why not for lawyers?
        * lawyer option: fountain pen

        • Terence Ng

          I’d love to see this done right after a loud “Objection!”

          “Objection!” *shakeshakeshake* “The defendant is…” and so forth.

        • SapphoPoet

          Ooo–like a Clairol commercial!

        • jannanna

          don’t forget that when the fountain pen rolls lazily off the table*  that it’s important to properly angle your pickup pose (a la paz dh for agent provocateur) for opposing counsel.
          * Sigh! how did THAT happen?

          • jw_ny

             or, the infamous “bend & snap” … XD

            • BrooklynBomber

              That’s what I was thinking. Time for Reese to take over this part of the lesson.

        • bloggertobenamedlater

          I am going to learn how to make my very fine hair stay up with a fountain pen this weekend. I don’t wear glasses but I’m definitely going to get a pair just for effect.  I’ll wait for closing arguments and then pull my hair down, hand on hip, twist and walk back to the lectern. Awesome. Thanks BrooklynBomber!

          • BrooklynBomber

            I can see it now!

          • Derek_anny

             Make sure your hair doesn’t get caught in the nib.  That would ruin the effect.  Also use a pen with no ink.

      • TheOriginalLulu

        Mine is in a ponytail (bad hair day), so letting it down would mean having the dreaded ponytail mark in the back, but I’m making a mental note to walk into the office like that on Monday. I’m going to blow them all away, I tell you. Either that or they’ll call the men in the white coats. 

    • NurseEllen

      “The Salma Hayek Finishing School”, Posing 101.  

    • NCDFan

      Those photographers in the background really do seem to be aiming at her ass.

      • crackineggs

         Hell, one of them is reaching for her ass!

        • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

          I would be. 

    • SapphoPoet

      This is hilarious. 

    • mozzer0906

      Showing the other bitches how its DONE!

    • serenitynow02

      Wow. Nothing like a lesson from a pro. I really need to practice.

    • http://theadventuresofmissparadox.tumblr.com/ Miss Paradox

      I just bought a pair of sunglasses like that! J’adore!

      My somewhat-gentleman-friend went all itchy when I showed him, but I said, “You don’t even know, these are FABULOUS!” and pulled out a hair flip of my own. Thank you, Salma, for backing me up.

      • http://twitter.com/anacedillo Ana Cedillo

        hahaha me too! i was literally  making these “dont take my picture” poses when I got mine!

    • http://www.facebook.com/charlotte.horseman Charlotte Horseman

      Love it!  I”m going to practice this all day.

    • http://twitter.com/arodenha Alli

      She looks amazing! I’m going to start walking like that. You know, during my commute.

      I find it ironic that all of the brands her baby daddy’s company represents (and that she’s by proximity “obligated” to wear) are all brands that look like crap on women shaped like her. This is the best I’ve seen her looking in ages – do we know if it’s Balenciaga or something else?

      • http://twitter.com/sanja_ramic sanja_ramic

        I think I read somewhere that it is a Balenciaga mini-dress, she also had a nice leather jacket which I assume was also Balenciaga. I think it’s expected for celebrities to show up wearing the brand they’re going to see because their presence is usually for publicity.

    • MilaXX

      She hasn’t looked this good in a long time. 
      I wish I could afford that bag.

    • Kyle Crawford

      can’t hide money

    • crackineggs

      I was going to go back to sleep after getting the kid off to school, but now I’ve woken myself up from laughing so hard….

    • Allyson Wells

      Those tights annoy me, and I’m not quite sold on the shoes… dress, bag, hair all look great though.

    • ChaquitaPhilly

      WOW! and I bet she never has to sit down in it at all, so that problem is taken care of!

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      Salma!    You finally just plain look GORGEOUS.  More of this, please. Don’t let your stinking rich hubby pick out your clothes anymore.

      • Anathema_Device

         I know. It is great that she is wearing something flattering. This is so understated and sexy, without being sexpot.

    • Zaftiguana

      The pantyhose really are a thing now, aren’t they?

      • fiestyfashionfem

        Crappity crap crap!! I will not go quietly into pantyhose!!!

      • Shoelover1512

        I’ve been wearing pantyhose for years now…I was fashion forward all this time lol

        I wear a dress or skirts to work every day and in the dead of winter there is just no chance of not wearing pantyhose. Pasty pale legs just don’t look good in the middle of winter, not to mention I’d freeze my butt off. 

        • Zaftiguana

          Well, I’m not opposed to leg coverings. I just prefer a nice cotton tight to a typically synthetic garment that tries unsuccessfully to mimic flesh. 

          • Shoelover1512

            I love pantyhose, I can’t deny it. Maybe because otherwise my legs are just so pale and ugly so a nude hose gives them some semblence of color? And I love the feel of a new pair of pantyhose on my legs, it feels so good. Apparently I’m a freak! lol

      • dress_up_doll

        Yes, I believe they are, indeed. This morning while walking to work I think I saw at least three young women wearing hose.
        They’re heeere —– at least until the trend dies a silent death.

        • Zaftiguana

          I wonder if this is just the latest chapter in the history of young women trying out the uncomfortable, conceptually strange fashions of their mothers for kitsch value. 

    • http://twitter.com/TerraIncognita Terra Walker Mrkulić

      best post ever. well done guys!

    • http://twitter.com/angelkutty Rincey

      She looks amazing, but are those ombre shoes? I can’t decide if I like them or not. 

    • http://twitter.com/somuchhotter Ethan Barclay-Ennew

      Can I just say how happy I am that hot Hayek has returned to the sexy body conscious dressing?

      • girliecue

        For Hayek not to be hot is so unnatural. It was like seeing a sign of the Apocalypse or more evidence of global warning every time she was photographed looking like a trophy wife.

    • RzYoung

      Workin’ it like it owes her rent. 

    • http://twitter.com/aStudiobytheSea a Studio by the Sea

      Well done, Ms. Hayek!  Dressed appropriately for your age, too.  

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      That dress is a fabulous color on her. Thanks for the educational post, TLo.

      • AudreysMom

        It is a great color on her. I think her dressing in a RED dress is also part of the tutorial. It’d be hard to do anyway, but who could NOT notice Salma in red?????

    • Anathema_Device

      Love it. Perfect post to start my day. I may try this at the pet food store today. You know, a trial run.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

         Video, I wanna see video of this!

        • Anathema_Device

          Not until it is perfected. ;-)

          I actually thought of you, Mr. Costumer. I have to make 8…wait for it…Ku Klux Klan costumes for my son’s high school play, The Foreigner. Hoo boy, they really don’t have patterns for that at Joanne’s. I can manage the robes, it is the pointy hood thingy that has me vexed. I’m thinking of buying a styrofoam cone and using that as a form. Does that make sense? The director said they can look kind of homespun because the characters wearing them are kind of dumb hicks. So it works to have them look thrown together.

          And I will be sewing with the drapes closed. Yikes. Could you imagine?

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

             Quite easily.  In my day, I have had to make many and many a costume that I was kinda embarrassed to have had to do.  As far as the cone headdress thingys, get some posterboard, and roll it into a cone. Then scribe a straight line around where you want it to sit on the head. Staple, or tape it together.  Then cover that with some cheap fabric. I’m thinking maybe an old while sheet from Thrift Town on Mission St. would do the trick.

            • Anathema_Device

               Great idea.Thanks! I actually made a Glinda crown for my daughter once out of that millinery webby stuff. (I was Dorothy and she was Glinda…when she was 4 or 5. We were pretty cute together.)  I’ve also made her a huge Toadette mushroom head for Halloween…so I think I can pull it off. The posterboard is great b/c I have that in the garage!

            • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

               My pleasure.   Always happy to help out.  You guys must have been a treat to see!
              btw, how many bairns have you got?

            • Anathema_Device

              Two kids: a boy (almost 17) and a girl (almost 13). They are both really into theater, which is a blast. Even though I was very athletic in my youth, I’m a much better theater mom than a soccer mom…although my daughter plays sports, too.

            • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

              They sound like great kids, and it sounds like you have a ball with them. Many congratulations!

            • Anathema_Device

               Aww…thanks. I am acutely aware that their time at home is coming to a close. Very bittersweet.

            • Qitkat

              Wish I could have been a theater mom, sounds like so much fun. I always enjoyed helping my three sons make their H’ween costumes. Sad to see my grandsons just want the super hero store bought flimsy ones. I made a clown once for my 4 year old, used that firm meshlike stuff (millinery?) to shape the cone hat.

              Enjoyed your convo here. Hug those kids every chance they will let you. Always gone too soon.

    • http://twitter.com/taijuuuh Taija HU!

      I love her. I always have and I always will. She’s like my long lost hispanic sister. 

    • http://twitter.com/A_SmallFry AC

      I’m surprised, she actually looks REALLY good here! I hate her shoes (they just seem so heavy and clunky), but everything else seems to work. She’s not trying as hard as she is with her red carpet appearances, and this silhouette flatters her.

    • kolokOlchik

      Work it!

    • http://pleasewelcomeyourjudges.com/ Brian @ PWYJudges

      So very fabulous.

    • http://twitter.com/lenabena_ Elena

      Haha. Love her glasses.

    • Sara Leigh Merrey

      Great look for her!

    • Judy_J

      She’s got it down pat.

    • jw_ny

      hahaha! 

      Too bad her hands were full, she could’ve given an over the head finger snap as she did her hair flip & walk away. 

      Love a good diva bitch attitude when done right.  XD

      oh yeah…she looks pretty amazing too. 

    • nannypoo

      On the red carpet she always looks like she’s standing in a hole. She looks great here. Love the color.

    • Diego!

      hahahahaaa I cracked with laughter when I read this. Amazing photos and she looks fierce as sh*t!!! You rock those motherf*ckers flashes girl! Stunning!

    • http://twitter.com/sanja_ramic sanja_ramic

      Hilarious post, she really does know how to work the cameras and I’m so glad she’s wearing something that actually works for her body/height. Although in the last shot it looks like she’s wearing the wrong size bra.

    • Carla_Charlton

      It helps that she is wearing something that looks great on her.  But the shoes…I’m no fan of the platform pump, but in these photos,  they’re barely objectionable.

    • https://profiles.google.com/104791269167429064986?hl=en&tab=h Judy S

      Wonderful post! But I wish that sometime during Stage 1 she had removed her sunglasses. 

    • Diego!

      I forgot to mention something, you should clarify to all Starlets out there: That’s how an “ACADEMY AWARD NOMINEE STAR” does it, bitches!

    • DesigningWoman21

      I so appreciate well written , snarky commentary!

    • Pinup Ghoul

      Oh YES, Miss Lady!

      Also, can I have that dress when you’re done with it? You and I are the same shape and height. CALL ME!

    • VicksieDo

      That hair flip is pretty impressive ;-)

    • ChristySchiff

      From the ankles up, this is the best she’s looked in a long time!  I actually said “You go girl” out loud.

      Hate the shoes, but she’s tiny, right?

      • http://twitter.com/asciident Melissa Brogan

        She’s 5’2″ so yep pretty tiny! Still hate the clunky platform thing–waiting for that trend to die again!

    • janetjb

      She could teach a class!

    • GorgeousThings

      I’m going to print this out and keep it over my desk to reference before I go outside every day.

    • kmiller1k

      Is she wearing pantyhose?

    • marywv

      God I love that dress and her hair looks incredible. Bow down.

    • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

      She’s so beautiful.  If I ever switched teams, it would be for Salma.

    • AthenaJ

      Love the womanly confidence emanating from Salma… so much better than the simpering little starlets that bug the crap outta me. And that dress fits her to a T!!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=733516833 Toby Wollin

         And, I would like anyone who cares to look it up here at TLo Central, the photo of her in the ‘too sweet’ gathered over the bust dress that she wore to the Oscars, as compared to this. This looks good – that makes her look horrific.

        • AthenaJ

          Agreed, she has such an amazing figure, it’s a crime to have it dressed so un-flatteringly. This is such a change for the better!

    • Laurie Bergman

      The hairflip is simply *masterful.*  And I love the “My butt?  Why yes, it IS magnificent!” shot.  This color (brick? russet? umber) looks great on her.  She is truly in her element here.

    • Qitkat

      Salma and TLo brung it!

    • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

      Go Salma!

    • Cathy S

      She looks fabulous. I love the color of her dress. Great hairflip.

    • Celandine1

      What fun! Plus she looks fantastic here and gotta love the shiny shampoo commercial hair.

    • PeaceBang

      If the Balenciaga marriage doesn’t work out she has a bright future in the “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful” hair flip Pantene campaign. LOVE IT, love the hilarious TLo tutorial, love the hilarious comments by all the bitter kittens.

    • Jennifer Coleman

      Totally working these poses for my next Facebook pics!

    • leilah

      Salma la magnifica….I love this woman so much, it’d be like, “my husband?  Sure, baby — lemme scoot over a li’l bit….”

    • http://twitter.com/ShelfAfterlife Shelf Afterlife

      That’s how I walk wearing my track pants and hoodie pushing a stroller. I work my crochet ear warmer, bitches!

    • BookishBren

      Okay, this is about her hair. What is the DEAL with women letting their color look like it is growing off? Khloe Kardashian’s is like this and so is Salma’s. I hate it. It really does make the ends look fried. 

      • http://twitter.com/asciident Melissa Brogan

         It’s the “ombre” thing. Another trend I can’t wait to see die.

    • http://www.facebook.com/notadouche Jeffrey D Foldenauer

      She looks amazing. Love that color on her.

    • http://twitter.com/anacedillo Ana Cedillo

      hahahahaha!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3AJ237ND3GAHDQJZ4TLCO4WLRA Emily

      Wow.  I love so many things about this post….  I guess I just have to say the hair flip is my fav.

    • holdmewhileimnaked

      what is the middle aged woman in the back & the baggy pants doing?

      • Lisa

        It looks like an unrequited ass-pinch from a far!

        • girliecue

          “Unrequited ass-pinch”

          Love it! Story of my life!

    • http://twitter.com/mktp michael tanner

      I LOVE THESE COMMENTS + THE POST

    • Lisa

      I wish I could have posted from work – I could read the comments, and I was *dying*, I assure you!  The Bitter Kittens made my Friday!  

      As for Miss Salma – MRRROOOWWWW!!!  Hot stuff, kitten!  You can just picture her doing this in slow-mo with sexy saxophone music playing in the background!

      And as for me, I sadly, cannot do a hair-flip to entice the masses. A short, curly Betty-Boop hairdo doesn’t lend it self to the sultry hair flip!

    • girliecue

      This is going on my list of all-time favorite T Lo posts! Love Salma, love you two more!!

    • Poindexter

      Her sunglasses kind of remind me of Anouk Aimee in “La Dolce Vita”

    • LambeeBaby

      Brava!

    • mike__tv

      Tyra Banks watch out! I see America’s next top gold digger doing well in the demographics 18-20 year old hoe. This was fun though, and I jest. 

    • aristida_girl

      HAHAHA! That was awesome, I am inspired to photograph better

    • Sweetpea176

      She looks great, but I thought she was carrying a folded up newspaper until you pointed out it’s a bag.

    • PantherontheRunway

      love that little dress, its so cute and chic

    • bellafigura1

      Yes yes yes to everything, I agree I agree, but … A bit Supp-hosesque on the leg, no?  A little thick for a sheer?

    • ri_dic

      Good God, she’s stunning.

    • adnama79

      She looks great.

      The captions are endlessly entertaining, as always.

    • calimon

      Is she actually ‘walking’ in any of these shots? I mean, she doesn’t to appear to have moved from the same tile she standing on in the first shot, to the last shot.

    • unbornfawn

      Word. Love you guys.

    • alyce1213

      NO.  She still fails.  The bottom of her dress is too tight — way too much information. And even though the top is blousey, her boobs still look like they’re trying to escape.  What, she can’t afford lingerie that fits?  Fugly shoes, too.
      Her hair and the sunglasses are nice though.

    • http://twitter.com/xavidaddy Javi Barragan

      Hot damn! Show them how it’s done Salma! 

    • bitterk

      Those shoes make me so sad

    • umeboshi

      the woman in the last shot in the right of the frame looks like she is reaching out to grab her ass

    • OneTwoThreeFashion

      lol love this!

    • mila_8

      “THE MUTHAFUCKIN HAIRFLIP, BITCHES.”. You delight!

    • Ashley Taylor

      Clearly, I will now be applying this pose for all of my grocery store visits and pre-school drop-offs. You just never know when there may be a pesky camera nearby. Obviously, I want to make sure my yoga pants photograph well! ;)
      Ashley
      http://www.thedoseofreality.com/2012/02/27/fancy-lady-show-aka-the-oscars/ 

    • http://twitter.com/MsCaityCat Caitlin

      This is how I enter my classroom at work. I may be a speech teacher but I’m still fabulous! I would like more tips from Salma.

    • samo_samo

      She is smart, talented and fierce. I still miss Ugly Betty.

    • http://theskippyreview.wordpress.com/ Skippy

      I have one thing to say.  

      YOU BETTA WERQ!!

    • Susan Crawford

      YES! Thank you, T and Lo! Today, when I walk into my classroom at the university where I teach, I shall enter like La Salma. I believe it will add an entirely new dimension to my teaching.

    • ccm800

      Wow she looks like she just graduated college MAN she looks fresh and sultry and yude-fool (as Michael Costello might say) 

    • http://twitter.com/nkk Nikki

      LOVE those SUNNIES!!!