RuPaul’s Drag Race: Cover Girl! Put the Bass in Your Walk!

Posted on March 13, 2012

We’re somewhat disappointed with the readings last night. We expect our queens to be witty at the drop of a hat and most of this crowd, sadly, didn’t come through for us. You’d think these queens would spend some time working out a reading routine, since they know they’re going to be called on to do it.

The only ones who came close to being funny were Sharon and Latrice, the latter of whom won the challenge.

Which gave him the prize of picking which magazine concepts get assigned to which queens. We’re really only telling you this so we can justify posting pictures of semi-naked men. Not that we need your approval. “I’m a doctor. So why the hell am I talking to you?”

Cleavage.

 

Pussy.

 

Poise.

 

Eleganza.

 

Who?

 

Love.

 

Hey, this is fun. Maybe from now on we’ll just do recaps with one-word impressions under each picture. It’ll be like recapping flashcards. Naah. You’d kill us.

We admit, we thought the magazine challenge was a bit on the lame-o side. We get it that Ru herself is a witty, funny queen and she wants her girls to be the same way, but usually the show’s pretty good about connecting the challenges to the real-life of being a drag performer, and for the life of us, we couldn’t see the point to making them all play editor for a day. It just didn’t feel like a naturally draggy thing to be doing.

And the covers were incredibly cheap-looking. They all looked like religious cult tracts.

 

The judging on this show is defiantly not transparent and no one ever really bothers justifying the decisions because they all come down to Ru. This makes it easier to accept even when we don’t agree (unlike Project Runway where the judging is presented as if it’s far less biased than it actually is). Even so, we had to roll our eyes just a little at the amount of praise Phi Phi was getting for this cover, which was only marginally better than some of the other ones.

We still don’t get how she manages to add 20 years to her age every time she puts on makeup.

Credit where it’s due: this really is the best she’s looked on the catwalk. She deserved praise for it, but we’re not so sure she deserved the win. Yes, she’s improved, but she didn’t look like the best thing on that catwalk to us and her cover didn’t look that much different from the ones the judges trashed. Face it: Ru decided it was time to throw Phi Phi a lifeline.

Just like Ru decided it was time to cut Jiggly loose. This was one decision with which we couldn’t argue.

The best she can manage on the catwalk is the occasional pretty dress and wig, but aside from that, she creates no memorable characters or looks. And she appears to have virtually no comedy or performing skills at all. To be honest, we’re wondering how she even got on the show. She’s not horrible, but she’s clearly unprepared, unpolished, and has a lot of learning to do.

We were actually scared for Willam when it came down to the LSFYL. She deserved to be there and by almost every measure is a superior queen to Jiggly, but if there’s one thing Jiggly can do it’s BRING IT when her back is against the wall.

Personally, we didn’t see much of a difference in quality here. Neither of them really set the stage on fire. It’s just that Willam, as Latrice noted, looked like a young CW singer and Jiggly just looked tired.  Even though the performances were roughly equal we agreed that Willam should stay simply because Jiggly’s been in the bottom way too many times and Ru wasn’t going to be swayed by another 11th-hour rally.

 

[Screencaps: tomandlorenzo.com]

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