RPDR: Wet Hot American Parking Lot

Posted on March 06, 2012

We loved the conceit that the crowd consisted of straight guys on spring break. Because that’s what spring break is all about; hanging out in parking lots and watching semi-naked men spread their legs, amirite boys?

And of course, no spring break wet t-shirt contest would be complete without ripped men in tiny little briefs, amirite, straight boys?

But can we really complain about the unlikelihood of this scene?

Really?

(the answer is no)

Quality programming. Family-friendly television. Tune in for the children’s sake.

So yeah. It’s a body challenge and the winner is the queen with the most slammin’ body. No surprise there. But maybe that’s a little unfair, since she plays the bimbo character to the hilt. It was as much about playing the kind of girl who would do a wet t-shirt contest as it was about looking like that girl.

Pride floats! YAY! Although we were disappointed they didn’t put the gals up on an actual float and have it drive through the streets of L.A.  while they threw beads and rubbers at confused passersby.

Also: the people behind the scenes are cheeky little bastards, aren’t they? Slipping in all kinds of gay culture stuff for the straights.

And no, we don’t know the hankie code. It was always way too much work to remember and besides, its heyday was from a time when men couldn’t be open about picking up other men, i.e., before our time.

Poise.

Beauty.

Say what you will about Kelly, she gets the gays. She really does. Has any other guest judge shown up wearing a tiara?

Very sweet, but she seemed totally confused as to how she got there.

Well, all those trainers and go-go boys in West Hollywood needed something to do that day, we suppose.

So congrats once again to Willam. There’s no doubt she had the best look on the runway but we have to wonder if being able to wear your  Gaultier bathing suits and Dolce & Gabbana coats is fair in a competition when other queens are walking that runway in homemade clothes. There doesn’t seem to be much of a rule there. Also, there was a little bit of judging fudging going on here, because Milan got slammed for making her boat all about herself and Willam won for basically doing the same thing. Obviously, there were other factors at play and we have no problem at all with her winning, but the judges had to jump through some hoops to get there.

That is some busted-ass makeup she’s sporting. And that boat is just sad, with a very muddled message. “I will not forget” tends to bring to mind some huge tragedy, like 9/11. Scrawling it under some wigstands was just weird. We got what she was trying to do – honor the queens who fought at Stonewall –  but there were better ways to do it.

And once this happened, we knew she was going home. She seemed to be way too hung up on being seen as an actor and performer rather than a drag queen. Honey, that’s all well and good, but this is a drag queen competition.

 

[Screencaps: tomandlorenzo.com]

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